Chapter 6

SPOV

I'm hiding in my room. It's the day after James and I kissed. I don't really know what to do. I really regret what happened yesterday. I have no idea how it happened, one minute I was mad the next minute we were kissing. I've been trying to avoid him and to hate him, but I just can't. It's not just that we used to date it's that we've been friends since our first year at Hogwarts. And it's not going away like I hoped.

I roll over onto my back and pull the covers up to my chin. I stare at the ceiling quietly, listening for James footsteps. It's almost noon so I figure he'll be in to wake me soon, but I'm not ready to face him. I'm not sure how I feel about what happened last night. Sure it was good, familiar, and all that, but...

I turn my head towards the door when I hear a quiet knock. Damn. I was hoping for at least a few more minutes.

The door opens slowly and James head appears in the space between the wall and door. "Knock knock!"

I give him a small smile. "Who's there?" Stop it Serena you literally just said you were going to hate him.

"Jamie," he answers.

"Jamie who?" But I can't help it.

"Jamie poo?" he asks.

I laugh. Obviously.

"Can I come in?" he asks rubbing the back of his neck.

"Er, yeah," I say nervously.

He opens the door further and walks into the room. He closes the door with a snap and sits on the bed. "Good afternoon sleepy head."

"Hi," I say softly, sitting up. I need to talk to him. I can't hate him and I can't date him so we need to figure out a middle ground.

"Hi," he says, his hands patting his legs nervously.

I smile a bit. I'm not the only one who doesn't really know what to say or do. Which sadly is reassuring.

"Er so...um..." he says running his hand through his hair.

I sit quietly, waiting for him to say something first.

"Serena..." he says turning to face me. "I... Well I don't... I don't really know what to say or do and uh..." He runs his hand through his hair again.

"I understand." At least he can admit it out loud.

He looks up. "Oh...uh good. I don't have to try and explain then."

I nod and bite my lip. Now what am I supposed to do? I look down at my lap and pick at the blanket. "James?"

"Hmm?" he asks.

"Er...what um what now?" I ask, still picking at the blanket. "I mean...its been awhile...I-" But obviously he cuts me off. Maybe hating him will be easier than I thought.

"Hey," he says, putting his hand under my chin and making me look at him. "If you want..." he says leaning a bit closer. "I'd like to try us again," he finishes at a whisper.

"I..." I pause and really think about it, I come to the conclusion, sadly, that I do too. I do want an us, but should I rush into this? I haven't seen him for three years. He's changed and so have I. I haven't even decided if I'm mad at him still or not. I guess I can't hold grudges as well I as thought. "James," I say slowly. "I don't think we should-"

"It's okay," he says pulling back. "I get it."

"No you didn't let me-" I groan as he interrupts me again. Three times. Three whole times.

"It's okay Serena," he says. "It's fine."

"James," I say grabbing his arm roughly, as he goes to stand up. "Sit back down and let me finish."

He sits back down on the bed and looks at me expectantly.

"I was saying that I don't think we should rush into this. I..." I take a deep breath. "I want us too," I whisper. "But you've been gone for three years. We're different. Let's just...not rush." I guess I know my decision now. No going back.

He nods. "Yeah. You're right," he says. "I've only been back for a few weeks."

"Right. Okay. So um breakfast?" I ask.

He laughs. "Try lunch."

"Fine, lunch it is," I say softly, climbing out of bed.

"Serena!"

"What?" I yell, putting my hair up and walking out of the bathroom and to the living room.

"Kat and Mandi are here," says James.

"Hey guys!" I say giving them both a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"We are here to collect you," says Katherine. Oh thank god.

"So get your things. We're going to Vic's house. The Weasley girls, you and I are having a sleepover," says Mandi.

"Oh are we?" I ask. Thank you thank you thank you!

"Yes now go pack!" says Kat.

"Yes ma'am!" I salute her before walking back to my bedroom.

I quickly pack my things in my quidditch duffle before running back out to the living room. I can't wait to get out of this house. I find the girls and James sitting on the couches laughing at something James had said.

"What's so funny?" I ask. How dare they think he's funny. He's the enemy.

"James," says Kat. "Ready to go?"

"Yep," I reply, showing her my duffle. "Bye James."

"Bye," he says walking over and giving me a hug. "Don't have too much fun," he whispers in my ear. I shiver slightly and whisper, "I won't," in his ear so the girls can't hear. What am I doing with my life.

He pulls back and smiles. "Bye Kat! See you Mandi!"

"Bye!" they say smiling.

I turn on the spot and apparate to Vic's house.

I grab a couple chocolate frogs out of the big bowl that is sitting in the center of our circle. I have been at Vic's for a few hours now. We had all done a bit of shopping and now we were sitting in a giant circle with food in the center.

"So what have you been up to Serena?" asks Dom. "We haven't heard from you in a while."

I swallow before answering. "I've been super busy. I've had to go to so many quidditch practices and I've been helping James look for a job."

"You'd think he'd get a job easy seeming as he is a Potter," jokes Lucy.

"Yeah, but he doesn't really know what he wants to do. He used to play quidditch, but he's not sure if he wants to do that anymore," I shrug. Idiot. He should just play quidditch. Quidditch is fun. He's good at it. It'd be easy to get him a job doing that.

She nods.

"So how's practice been going then?" asks Roxy.

"Good," I say. "It's been tough though. Oliver is being ridiculous."

"Well dad said that he used to be an absolute maniac when quidditch games were coming up," says Lily, taking a sip of butterbeer.

"Well he hasn't changed much," I say rolling my eyes.

"So it would seem," she nods. "I've been meaning to ask how's James? He hasn't been over in a while."

"Oh, um, he's good," I stammer, blushing.

This causes some raised eyebrows. I'm so stupid. I should've prepared in the mirror or something.

"Serena..." asks Dom slyly. "Have something to share?"

"Er, no. I don't think so," I say, playing with my butterbeer bottle.

"Alright no one believes that bullshit," laughs Dom. "Come on. Spill!"

The other girls are looking at me intently.

"Um..." I make a face. "Do I have to?"

There's a chorus of yeses, so I guess I have to.

I sigh. "Er, well, James and I kissed last night and I have no idea what to do," I say staring at my lap.

"Really?" asks Kat.

I look up and I see smiles.

"Mhm," I mumble.

"Have you talked to him about it?" asks Vic.

"Yeah," I nod.

"So what happened?" asks Rose enthusiastically.

"We just agreed not to rush," I shrug. "It's been three years after all and we've both changed a bit and I still can't decide whether to be mad at him or not if I'm being completely honest."

Rose nods. "I think that was probably the best thing to do, but you shouldn't be mad at him. He's done really good trying to make up for all he's missed."

"I guess so… I really don't want to forgive him though." I can tell Rose is about to argue so I quickly change the subject. "How are you and Freddie, Mandi?"

"Good," she says smiling hugely.

I smile. "That's great. You guys are adorable."

She shrugs smiling. "I know."