WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
The squealing voices in Gail's head builds up by the minute.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT!
Gail was bombarding herself with words of regret when the phone vibrates.
*INCOMING CALL*
There flashed on the screen the same number she just hit a message with.
Gail gasped. She wanted to throw the thing for the chance of escape. There was a vigorous battle within her- heart vs. mind, answer or not to answer. The push on the answer button showed who won.
She silently took in oxygen for her dying lungs.
She didn't speak.
"Gail?"
The wisp of voice crept on every bit of her, shattering every ounce of bogus sanity she so tried to convince herself she has.
"I miss you so much too. Please come back"
Gail needed to bring her hands to her mouth to conceal the sound her sobs are creating. All she wanted to do is run fast towards the source of the voice and succumb to the world she destroyed herself.
You can blame this to that Friday afternoon at the lab. Gail was going to pick up Holly for a quick lunch together. She was searching the premises when she accidentally eavesdropped on a couple of Holly's workmates just at the corner who had no idea that the doctor's girlfriend was there.
"…oh Dr. Stewart is a catch alright. Why wouldn't she be? She is intelligent, the kindest person you'll ever know, funny…"
"Add hot and beautiful and caring and sweet…"
The two women sighed in adoration for the said doctor.
Gail can't help the grin emerging from her lips as she knew exactly how it felt to be with this person they almost worship.
"I'd definitely go gay for her…" The first woman admitted.
"I'm already gay for her!" The second woman screamed with a chuckle.
"I'd go straight for her!" Another person showed up and joined the circle as they giggled. The guy is incredibly handsome but the give away that he'd go straight indicates then that he isn't.
Gail finds it kind of cute. People are allowed to crush on her woman as long as they stop there and not take it any further. It will be war otherwise. She was about to return to her conquest of girlfriend searching when she was stopped by the next comments.
"Sadly she ended up being with that snob police officer" The other woman started.
With that, Gail stood straighter, alarm bells ringing through her head.
"Yeah, how sad. I mean, how did Holly even like her? She is snarky and mean. I have some occasional encounters with her and I'm telling you, if I were Holly, I'd fly away from her in seconds. Holly. Deserves. Better."
The last sentence was well punctuated for the emphasis.
"Well, she is Gail Peck. So you know… maybe the doctor wants the name." The first woman said in a whisper obviously not soft enough to not be heard by Gail.
The police officer didn't know what to do or feel. Heated blood rushed through her veins suddenly burning her. It's one thing to say something about her, but it is another to say something about Holly too.
Gail paced out of the lab as quickly as possible before she detonates.
She tried processing all the words she has heard, ruling out quickly that the latter statement about Holly was totally false-she is sure of it. But what really stomped her- because she wasn't really sure herself- is the severing fact that Holly deserves better.
And when she cut Holly that night she has concurred that Holly indeed deserves better. She has no right to that world where Holly is. She has no right to that world filled with everything that made her feel things she had never ever thought existed. She has no right to this person so perfect that putting her next to someone like Gail Peck is a crime. Holly Stewart deserves someone more than a Gail Peck.
"Gail, Come back to me please. I'll be waiting. I'll be waiting for your return."
The voice promised hope, promised something she has come to know. Gail knew every word was real, and she is dying to just say "Yes, I will be coming back to you"
YOU SHOULD BE STONGER THAN THIS
Her inside voice reminded her.
Before Gail could even lose the tiniest strand of strength not to give in, she cut the line.
She allowed herself to plant her knees on the ground as she gave way for the streams of tears demanding escape. She needed to get it all out to be back for work.
When every drop of tears were shed, Gail stood up, went to the nearest disposal area and discarded the phone making sure nothing is left to be recovered, turned towards the assignment motel, and walked while building again all the walls essential to keep her going.
THAT'S IT. BACK TO WORK