Warnings:
Guide: "Speech", Thoughts, ~letters and other written things
Beta: Destiny1195. All remaining errors are my own.
AN: Sorry for the hyper long delay. My muse for "Verbuar" has kept away the muses for my other stories in the last 4 month.
-~-~- Toujours pur, toujours du sang de Black -~-~-
-~-~-by Stillwatersaredeep-~-~-
-~-~- Chapter 9 -~-~-
Monday, 4th August 1997
Neither Harry nor Draco slept well that night. Draco was plagued by parts of the conversation he overheard, forced to hear it again and again in his dreams. 'I would be down on my knee, asking for Ginny's hand right now,' and 'I love her too' being very prominent parts of the dream. But nothing hurt more than Harry's statement of 'I certainly will not fall in love with him.'
Harry's strange dream was fuelled by the very same conversation. But instead of his own words it was the scenes he'd described that haunted him. His dream started out very harmless. He and Ginny were walking hand in hand in the backyard of the Burrow, the sun was shining, everyone was alive and happy and Voldemort was defeated for good. With the birds singing in the background, he went down on his knee and asked Ginny if she wanted to marry him. Harry was overjoyed when she said yes. Soon they were passionately kissing, his hands finding their way beneath the shirt Ginny was wearing.
In a trance, his hands wandered down her taunt, flat stomach, following the familiar trail of the rough scars. Scars? Harry suddenly wondered and opened his eyes.
It was as he feared. Instead of bright brown eyes and vivid red hair, he was greeted by vivid silver orbs and bright blond hair. He woke up startled.
Not again! he groaned. He vaguely remembered a Biology lesson from his time in Muggle school, where the teacher had told him that the mind processed the impressions that one collected over the course of the day by dreaming about them. Since I did touch Draco's scars today this is perfectly normal, isn't it? Harry wondered. Or maybe it's my mind's weird way of making me comfortable with the thought that Draco will take the place in my life I imagined Ginny to hold, he mused.
Yawning, Harry turned around and got comfortable once more. Soon he was dreaming again, though this time he was in the Room of Requirement. Ginny was sitting on a sofa, Harry's head in her lap. A ray of sunshine coming in from a window, warming Harry's face as he relaxed, unwinding from his classes with Ginny's hand softly stroking his hair. With his eyes still closed Harry turned around on his side so that he was facing Ginny.
"Harry," said a voice that was definitely not Ginny's. Harry groaned. He would not open his eyes this time, already knowing who he would see. Instead, he just turned around to lie on his back again, returning to the memory of Ginny. Why did I get so damn close to Draco today? he bemoaned. My head on his lap, touching his chest so intimately.
-~-~- Toujours pur, toujours du sang de Black -~-~-
Tuesday, 5th August 1997
The next morning the three Gryffindors met in the room Harry and Ron shared to discuss what their next steps would be. Together, they'd decided that it would be best if Harry started to learn Legilimency as fast as possible to translate the memory Lucius had of Voldemort talking with Nagini. Ron would try his best to come up with a way to steal the horcrux from Bellatrix's Gringotts vault. And Hermione would get as much information as possible on Regulus Black's last days to figure out where the real locket was hidden.
"I do not know which of us has the hardest task," Ron told Harry and Hermione.
"If Draco turns out to be a better teacher than Snape, then I would say that the two of you have it worse. Breaking into Gringotts? We must be crazy," Harry said. "And Regulus?" he asked next. "Not even Sirius knew what happened to his brother."
"Nah," Ron said. "I'd rather break into Gringotts than to spend any more time than absolutely necessary with the ferret."
"Ronald," Hermione said warningly. "What have I told you about name calling?"
"That I shouldn't do it? Especially to the Malfoys?" he asked, trying to look as loveable as possible.
"That's correct. So please explain to me why you did it just now?" Hermione asked.
Harry quickly left the room and went up the stairs towards the third floor. He softly knocked on the door of the master bedroom, but did not get any reply. Deciding that he may just not have heard the blond's reply through the heavy door, he tried his luck with the handle, finding the door was easily pushed open.
No wonder he did not reply, Harry thought when he spotted Draco. The blond boy was lying on the bed, his head buried in the pillow, obviously crying.
Harry could still remember all too clearly how the last time he found Draco crying ended. He'd seen and felt the marks of the Sectumsempra just yesterday. With the memories fresh in his mind, he decided that it would be best if he walked out of the room before the blond could notice him. He could come back to ask about Legilimency lessons another time.
Harry was about to close the door behind himself when he changed his mind. They would be married soon, and as a married couple, they should be there for each other, during both the good and the bad times. Besides, weren't my dreams last night telling me that I should start imagining Draco in Ginny's place? Or should it be Ginny in Draco's place? Either way, I would not leave Ginny alone in her time of need, so I better start practising now, Harry decided, adamantly. Cautiously, he walked closer to the bed, sitting down hesitantly on the edge.
"Draco?" Harry asked softly, unsure of the blond's reaction.
It was only then that Draco noticed the other boy's presence.
After the hellish night, Draco had gotten up early, taken a quick shower and then Kreacher had been kind enough to prepare him a quick breakfast of toast and jam. It was when he re-entered his room that Harry's words once more haunted him. 'I certainly will not fall in love with him.'
He could swear that he felt a knife going through his heart every time he remembered the so carelessly spoken words from the one person he loved more than anything. But I already knew that he would never return my feelings, he thought, and suddenly he could not hold it in any more. All his frustration due to the situation he found himself in, the impossibility of ever having a loving relationship with his soon to be husband who would never fall in love with him, who still loved another woman. It started with a sob and soon developed into a full out crying session. So close and yet so far away...
So when he heard the reason for his misery call out to him, his instinctive reaction was to say "Go away!"
"Can I do anything to make it better?" Harry asked, not giving up just yet.
Draco let out a laugh that got swallowed by a sob. Fall in love with me! he wanted to scream. But he just sobbed more.
Harry cautiously put his hand on Draco's back and started to softly rub in circles. "Talk to me, Draco," Harry pleaded. "I cannot help you if I do not know what is wrong."
Still no reply from Draco, though the sobbing did decrease somewhat. But the Slytherin hated how sincere Harry's words of concern sounded, as if the brunet really did care about him.
"Whatever is making you cry, it will get better. We're both here now; your parents are here too. We'll overcome the Black curse and then you'll be safe. And if there is anything I can do to make it better, I'll do it. I'm here for you, Draco, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow," he promised, consciously or unconsciously using the words spoken in Muggle wedding vows.
How can one fall even deeper in love with the one who is breaking your heart into pieces? Draco wondered when he heard Harry speak.
"Do you really believe that we can overcome everything so easily?" Draco finally spoke up, moving his head a bit to look at Harry from beneath his fringe.
"Yes, I think we can, Gin-" Harry opened his eyes and realized his mistake just in time. Using what he would do if Draco was Ginny would only work if he did not accidentally say the wrong name."-gerly," he quickly finished, hoping that Draco would not notice the pause.
"Gingerly?" Draco questioned.
"Yes, gingerly," Harry confirmed. "Neither Rome nor Hogwarts were built in one day. Our marriage will be the same. It will take time, and in the beginning we'll need to treat each other carefully, making baby steps until we know each other better. Only then will we be able to be completely open with each other. But the current distance can only be overcome if we both try to get closer, slowly starting to open up."
"You honestly believe that, don't you?" Draco questioned.
Harry opted to reply honestly. "Maybe not completely, not yet," he stressed. "But we are each other's future, aren't we?" he said with a pained smile, Ginny's face flashing before his eyes.
"Yeah," Draco replied weakly, sitting up.
"And we're already making improvements. We're not trying to kill each other," the brunet joked, silently handing the blond a tissue.
"I could always refuse to marry you and kill you that way," Draco replied as he tried his best to hide the evidence of his tears.
"You're neither suicidal or a killer," Harry said with conviction.
"Thanks, I guess," was all the blond could say in reply to this statement. Things like this reminded him why he fell in love with the Gryffindor in the first place, while other things reminded him just how far out of his reach Harry was for him.
They were silent for some moments, before Harry asked, "Tea? A nice cuppa will make you feel better."
Draco nodded. "I'll join you in the kitchen in a few moments."
Once Harry left him, Draco went to the bathroom to freshen up. A quick concealing charm did the rest. He wondered why Harry had come to his room in the first place, but figured he would probably find out when he joined him in the kitchen.
At least he believes that I was crying because of the Black curse rather than my unrequited love for him, he thought as he descended the stairs. Getting comforted by Harry was a double-edged sword though. It felt nice to know that he cared and wanted to make it better. But when he later said with a pained smile that they were each other's future, it became clear to Draco that Harry was not doing it because he cared for Draco as a friend. No, he was only doing that out of a twisted sense of obligation to his unwanted future husband. He was still sincere in his concern, Draco was sure of that. It was just the motivation behind the concern that he hated.
He had barely taken a seat at the kitchen table when the pot was whistling. Harry poured the hot water into the two cups, and then brought them over. "Professor Lupin always says that a cup of tea and a bit of chocolate will make you feel better in minutes," Harry said as he handed Draco his cup.
"Thanks," he replied as he blew on the tea to make it cool down faster. He watched as Harry pulled on the string of the teabag, playing with it.
Finally the Gryffindor broke the silence. "Ehm, you remember the Parseltongue memory your father has and, ehh, how you offered to teach my Legilimency?" Harry asked.
"Yes, I remember," he replied, finally knowing why Harry had come to his room in the first place.
"I would like to take you up on that offer," the brunet said, and then took his first sip of tea. Draco copied him.
"I never taught anyone Legilimency, or Occlumency, for the matter," the blond admitted.
"But we can still try," Harry said.
"Sure," Draco replied. "Do you know anything about either Legilimency or Occlumency?"
"Snape tried to teach me Occlumency."
"It was a complete failure?" the Slytherin guessed.
"Let's just say that he refused teaching me at some point, and even Dumbledore could not change his mind," Harry admitted.
"How did he try to teach you?" Draco asked. It will be good to know what did not work for him, he mused.
"He just told me to clear my mind and then he cast the spell," he explained.
"And you were unable to clear your mind fast enough," Draco completed. If this was Harry's only problem, he could master Legilimency fast enough for what they planned to use it.
"Try not at all."
Draco groaned. "How long did he try to teach you?" Maybe Harry and Severus only tried it two or three times before they stopped, he hoped.
"We did practise it during me 'remedial potions lessons' in fifth year," he replied.
I wonder if it would be faster if father or I try to learn to speak Parseltongue, Draco contemplated, which showed how hard a challenge he considered Legilimency to be for Harry. He did not tell the other boy this though, instead he said, "We'll need to start at point zero then. Both Legilimency and Occlumency only work if one can clear their mind."
Before he could continue with his explanation, his parents entered the kitchen. Lucius raised an eyebrow in question but did not say anything. Kreacher promptly served all of them sandwiches. When neither Hermione nor Ron had come down, Narcissa asked Kreacher to bring the two some lunch too, which earned her some more brownie-points in Harry's book. She may not be Mrs Weasley, but as far as he could tell, he would not have to worry about his mother-in-law.
"Mr Malfoy," Harry called out, suddenly remembering something and wanting to also give the final Malfoy the benefit of the doubt. "Before the start of my first year, you were involved with Quirrell's attempt to steal something from Gringotts, weren't you?" he asked.
Lucius hesitated. "We were the ones who found him wandering around, lost," he finally admitted.
"If you have any idea how he got 'lost' in the first place, could you please share your thoughts with Ron? That would be a great help to us," he said.
"I'll see what I can do for you," he replied and then took his leave.
"So, back to Occlumency and Legilimency," Draco began. "As I told you, both require that you clear your mind. In Occlumency the emptiness does hide your thoughts and memories. The deeper you're in the meditative state, the stronger your shields and the less the attacker can see.
"During Legilimency the empty mind makes you open to receive the thoughts of another person, which allows you to see their memories."
Harry looked confused at him. "From my experience, a Legilimence is able to bring memories to the front of my mind. So, if I keep my own mind empty, do I not make it even easier for him to look at the specific memory he is searching for? Wouldn't it be better to distract him with a harmless memory instead." he questioned.
"No," Draco replied. After a short pause he tried another approach. "Let's try a more abstract approach. Imagine you are in a cinema," the blond began, only to earn himself another confused look from the Gryffindor. "You grew up in the Muggle world," Draco stated.
"Yeah," Harry agreed. "I was just surprised that you know what a cinema is."
The blond shook his head. "We do go out to the Muggle world. Even without magic they provide the best entertainment. And I do not mean as torture victims," he stressed, when Harry gave him a scandalized look. "I'm talking about theatre plays, operas, films and so on. I'll have you know that when the Ministry did employ the Statute of Secrecy the Malfoy family was one of the loudest protesters. Even today, we hold shares in some of the major Muggle companies in Europe and North America and continue to collect fine pieces of art from all over the world. And my parents love to go to musicals. We already brought tickets for the new Lion King musical in Minnesota. We planned to go there in two weeks," he finished, sad that now he will not be able to go.
Harry was more than surprised by this admission. He always thought that all pure-bloods were Muggle haters and detested everything to do with them. And even the non-Muggle haters did not know how to dress in Muggle clothes without drawing attention to themselves, due to how ridiculous they looked. The one wizard who wore a female nightgown during the Quidditch world cup easily coming to the forefront of his mind. But the Malfoys had been dressed in elegant Muggle attires, he remembered, which made what Draco told him just now more believable to him. And Draco sounded really sad that he would miss the play.
As he let Harry comprehend the new information, Draco finished the last of the pumpkin juice he had with lunch. He smiled when the Gryffindor finally looked up at him. Seeing that he had the other's attention once more, he continued with his explanation. "So imagine a cinema, but instead of the hundred of seats, imagine there to be hundreds of cameras in the theatre, each of them contained a film tape. Clear so far?" he asked.
Harry nodded.
"Good. Now, imagine each time you think of something, one of the cameras will turn on and start to project their tape on the screen. Sometimes, two or three cameras will turn on at the same time, mixing up your thoughts. And at other times the camera that is playing will turn off in the middle of the tape when another camera turns on."
Harry hummed to show that he was following the explanation.
"Now, if you're performing Legilimency, you first forcefully enter the theatre and then go around switching on the cameras at random to see the memories. A skilled Occlumens is able to turn off the master switch, so that all the cameras are without electricity. So even if the Legilimens goes around switching on the cameras, no film will start playing due to the lack of power. Understandable so far?" Draco checked.
"Yeah, it makes sense," Harry affirmed.
"So you see why showing a harmless memory will not be helpful?" the blond asked, but answered the question himself. "In order to show the seemingly harmless memory, the master switch will be on. For the Legilimens it is easy to switch on one of the other cameras.
"A real master of Occlumency will have two master switches. The first one for the memories he wants to hide, and the second one is for the harmless memories. Giving the intruder the illusion of having breached his victims Occlumency shields," he explained.
"So when you're emptying your mind, you're turning off all the cameras. In the beginning your thoughts, or the cameras, will switch on independently, so you'll have to manually turn them off again. With time, you'll be able to switch them all off at will; with even more practice you'll be able to create a master switch, allowing you to immediately shield all your memories," Draco explained.
"Thank you for the explanation," Harry said honestly. "Snape never took the time to explain it to me. Say, do you know how it is possible that the Legilimency spell backfires?" he asked. The analogy with the cinema and cameras helped him to understand why Snape had such an easy time invading his mind. It did not explain the one time where he'd entered Snape's.
"It never happened to me," Draco replied. "In order for the Legilimens to see the memory he needs to connect his own screen with the one of his target. So if I had to explain it, I would say that the target ripped open his own screen, exposing the Legilimens's screen behind it, allowing him to access the attacker's memories."
"Hmm," Harry hummed, it sounded good enough. "So, how can I turn of the cameras?" he asked.
"Through meditation," was the simple reply.
"Mediation?" Harry asked.
"Let's get somewhere more comfortable, where we won't be disturbed and I'll guide you through it," Draco offered and got up from the kitchen table.
-~-~- Toujours pur, toujours du sang de Black -~-~-
Meanwhile, the Weasley twins were busy in their lab. A while ago they had the idea to sell Singing Chocolates* next February as a special Valentine's product. It had been inspired by their little sister's horrible poem during their fourth year. If one ate one of the chocolates, one would start to sing a cheesy love song about the person they liked.
Because Valentin's Day was still months away, they had put the development of that specific product on the back-burner. But now, with the announcement of Harry's engagement to Draco Malfoy, they could not help but use the idea. The supposed wedding between the school rivals could be nothing but a big joke, so why not use it to advertise their own love-related joke product?
Harry, as a silent share owner of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes certainly would not mind the usage of his name: 'Singing Chocolates—The offcial Potter-Malfoy wedding product'. He would probably get a good laugh out of it. If not for fearing for the owl's, they would even have sent a free sample to Voldemort. After all, he put in the marriage add for Harry. Who would the evil Dark Lord sing for? His devoted Bellatrix? Or would he sing a sonnet on Snape, the killer of Dumbledore?
"Stop daydreaming, George," Fred chided. "We won't hear anyone sing if we do not get the spell right."
"Yeah, yeah," George appease. "But it is not my fault that Harry did not give us a heads up on his upcoming nuptials."
"Buy Singing Chocolates, help Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy finance the wedding of the century," Fred advertised. They both laughed. But soon they continued working again. They wanted to get it right by the end of the week.
-~-~- Toujours pur, toujours du sang de Black -~-~-
Singing Chocolates: Reusing a review suggestion from my other story 'Altair'. Credit goes to HowlingRain.
-~-~- Toujours pur, toujours du sang de Black -~-~-
chriscriss: If you would like a reply to your review, please take the 1 minute to create an account here so that I can send you a message back. Or if you already have an account please log in. As for your question: In my opinion a story is only abandoned if the author does not plan to continue it. This is not the case here. I'm writing 5 stories at the same time, thus it can happen that one of them is not update for a while. There is an update status on my profile page for a reason and if you log in you can follow the story so that you'll get a mail when a new chapter comes out. No need to check once per month for an update.
-~-~- Toujours pur, toujours du sang de Black -~-~-
AN: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. As I need to start writing my PhD thesis, I have no idea when I'll have some time to write the next chapter.