CHAPTER 13

Gail took 3 rounds of deep breaths before entering the morgue. She knew what she'd find in that space. For the first time since she had started being a detective has she felt the want to retreat back to her former role as an officer- probably someone who was so unlucky to be stuck to desk duties.

"Any results from the tests doctor Stewart?" She forced her voice out of her mouth trying to be nonchalant and cool compared to the anxious and restless self that she is since yesterday. Holly doesn't need to know that.

"Toxicology came back positive. There have been signs of tetradotoxin in his system which shows that he was poisoned before the whole physical distraught." Holly was focused on one of her favourite toys- the microscope.

Gail used that moment to study her. She is back in her usual lab coat, a blue button down shirt and a pencil cut skirt underneath it. It was like time hasn't moved at all. She was staring at the same Holly Stewart except that she is anything but the same.

The exchange they had from yesterday morning when they first met again for the first time after a long time was a mere…

"Detective, with your green light I'll get one of the officers to bag the body and take it to the lab" Holly regarded her carefully.

"Yeah sure, as long as they've taken enough sense of the crime scene with the body in here"

"Great."

Before Gail could even reply, Holly already slid passed her towards the door.

Without knowing what to do with her self, she quickly pretended to survey the scene further.

"I'm pretty sure no matter how much you stare at him, he's not coming back to life" the conservative but firm voice tugged at her consciousness.

Gail blinked.

"You okay detective? You've been staring at the body for hours now" the hyperbole flowed from Holly like a cold spring.

"I'm just trying to imagine possible scenarios as to how this had happened"

LIE

"I see. Well, add this to your imagination. Both of his humerus and and femurs are badly fractured, like a way to immobilize him." Holly then was pointing her pen to the upper arms and upper legs of the body showing an open skin with protruding bones.

"Okay, continue doing your examination and I will begin questioning people who had contact with him recently. This is going to be a long one"

"I'll send my complete report by tomorrow if I'm lucky and have a quiet day."

"Okay, thank you. No rush though."

Holly tilted her head.

"Getting soft on me detective?"

Gail was taken aback at the casual teasing that for once, she didn't have a strong comeback.

Holly seemed to sense what's going on and levelled with her.

"Anyway detective, I'm here if you have any questions. Or just wait for my report."

The figure in front of her took an exit from the room.

Gail's head hung in defeat. She is deliberately coming undone. Friggin' say something! Do something! You stupid piece of sh—

"Holly, it's nice to see you again." Gail's honesty was deafening even to her.

Holly stopped just by the door, a hint of inner battle if she should turn or not. She did. When her eyes landed on Gail's, it was then that Gail has confirmed that those eyes where indeed different from what she came to know.

Holly opened her mouth but it closed again and decided to just give her a nod, and off she went to wherever she intends to be.

I really miss your glasses, what have you done to them? Gail chuckled to herself.

While you're on it, might as well drool all over that person and beg for her to take you back as your slave or something.

She swatted the mean voice in her head.

"And don't forget to tell your father about the impending situation. He should be dealing with it. Gail do I really have to tell you every time about the…"

Gail had barely registered the voice from the speakers of her home phone. She came home with a couple of messages from her mother. Every time she gets in touch with her it would be about business or about her two cents regarding anything that Gail has done wrong.

She landed on the couch and stretched her body. This case was taking its toll and it has just been 3 days. Gail sighed and growled at the open space of her apartment. She has finally moved out from the share house they have been living and has rented her own place. If there's anything positive that she'd taken away from the 3-year rollercoaster that is her life of late, it's the drive to be away from anything that is weighing her down. And boy that place was a 100000-ton weight. From Dov's and Chloe's relationship dramas to Chris' pursuits of his own, it was just too much for Gail to handle on a daily basis. She wanted escape from everything. So when she finally had enough, she went apartment hunting and just picked the first thing she liked at once no matter the price. Good thing this one isn't too bad on her pocket. She has been living alone now for almost a year. It was hard at first but totally worth it in the long run.

She sat up pondering having to sleep on the couch versus sleeping in bed. She was tired as anything and feelings regarding the situation at present aren't helping at all.

It's not the homicide case that is sucking her energy out, but the constant presentation of Holly. She knew that saying that stuff yesterday was a bad decision. It bit Gail that Holly didn't even pretend to say the same.

Well can you blame her? Do you remember what you did?

Today Holly was distant to her more than ever. The silent treatment while waiting for results, the not-so-subtle way of avoiding contact whenever she went a tad closer to Holly while examining the body, avoiding eye contact. Gail tried making conversations but it was just as good as talking to a stuffed animal with a "push me here"-to-talk sign, non-committal and without substance. At least the stuffed animal has a cheerful voice and would say nice things. Gail sighed.

In what universe allows a long lost ex girlfriend be swept back into her life- without any warning, I'm telling you- when you thought that there wouldn't be a chance of seeing her at all? Apparently in this goddamned universe! On the other hand, deep inside she knew that she was happy to see Holly again. It was like a piece of the puzzle was finally found after hours of looking under a table to fill in that missing part. But then again, all these torturous encounters with Holly were just sickening in the gut sometimes.

Can she be transferred to another division?

Nope, no no no! You have already avoided enough, have run as far as you can and have hidden in each corner for you not to be found. You can't keep doing this! Grow a pair and face this full on! She winced at the loudness of her conscience berating her.

"Okay then, I'll talk to the supervisors for a transfer request" she chuckled to herself as she made her way to her bedroom. When her conscience was about to pound her again "Alright! I was just kidding…" is what she replied. It seems silly to be talking to herself. Then again she was one of the few people she can talk to really.

Okay, I will talk to her. It has to be done.

"Who the fuck has used the coffee machine without even refilling the beans! Manners people, seriously. It's a simple courtesy!"

"Whoah Traci, I haven't finished my case yet, don't give me another dead body."

Gail walked in to their staff lounge in search for a hot beverage.

"Well tell that to your killer. There was another body that was found at the near area, around 3 kilometres from where the first body was found."

Gail looked at her watch, it was just 8 in the morning. Can't she grab a coffee first?

"Hmmm okay. When was the body found?"

"This morning, about the same time that they have found your first. They were trying to contact you but you weren't picking up"

"Oh… shit I must've forgotten to switch my airplane mode off" Gail then reached for her phone making sure she has done it.

"Detective what have I told you about being accessible anytime?" Traci gave a knowing eyebrow lift.

"Yes, yes I'm sorry. It's a way for me to get rid of talking to people. I hate them sometimes"

"SOMETIMES?" Traci chuckled "Is your mum giving you that lecture again?"

"Correct" Gail opened the bag of coffee beans that she took from the built-in pantry.

"She left voice messages last night. She wasn't contended with that and decided to call me at 2 am! I had to switch the damn thing off"

"Well if you had spoken to her sooner then this would've been avoided."

"Arrghhh" Gail let out a huff.

"There's no use refilling this one. This coffee is shit. I shall get a better one out"

"Good idea! Oliver wants us to work on this case together. I'm about to head to the morgue. Come with and we can grab our nice coffee on the way."

"Hmmm! I love mornings like this with a good coffee. It would be better if I was in bed and didn't have to get up." the steam from Traci's cup swayed up to her face.

Gail just gave a nod.

After a minute, she saw Traci throwing weird glances at her.

"Unless you've joined my team and is now harbouring a huge crush on me, those glances of yours are less than flattering."

She gave a big chuckle. "I'm happy with my team thanks"

Silence. Gail just focused on the road ahead then.

"Gail…"

"Uhuh?" Here we go.

"How's… How's Holly? I heard she's back." She tried her best to be nonchalant. F for effort.

"I know, been at the morgue 3 days in a row now."

"So?"

Gail didn't really want to talk about it.

"She is distant but civil. What do you expect?"

"Hmmm…I see. So how are you?" Traci turned to the blonde then.

Awful, terrible, miserable, hurting, feeling stupid, tired… here I'll hold a bowl that says 'All bad adjectives please'

"Gracy Nash, gravy"

Traci sighed.

"Gail, this… uhh… It has been 3 years. You need to do something about it other than dodge it all the time. I think you need closure no matter what it is"

"I know"

"Nope, I'm not taking- wait what?

"I said I know. I'm going to talk to her."

"Why look at that! Finally! Thank god and all the holy ghosts around. And here I was, preparing a speech for you"

"I don't think they will appreciate you calling them holy ghosts. And I beat you to it already. So speech not needed."

"Looks like it! Gosh I'm glad to hear that Gail"

Gail sighed " What can I say? I'm a new me now. Plus I'm tired of it myself." I faked a beaming smile but that fact didn't escape Traci.

"I'm here for you okay?"

Gail threw a brief glance at this person that she has really grown to trust over the years. They don't show it that much but they know when it comes to the hard stuff, they've got each other's back.

"I know. Thanks" Gail said, being the most sincere word she has said from the start of this conversation.

Her companion gave her a slight squeeze on the arm, providing a little comfort on what she knows is a storm to come.