A/N: I'm so happy to know I have readers! Virtual hugs for all! Please review! On with the story...

Alice

The women at the bakery were shameful gossips, I noted as I sat across from Lacey working on Math. When she finished the last problem, I smiled and she sipped her caffe mocha. "We both know that Mrs. Cullen couldn't do my schedule for a single day,"Mrs. Allen boasted to her friend. The other woman laughed softly and smiled at me from across the room. "Ellen she has six teenagers and she works at an architecture firm from eight until seven six days a week and I hear she blows everyone away at bake sales. Her husband is a surgeon. She understands hectic." I smiled back as a vision engulfed me.

A woman with horrendous split ends was in a stretch limousine which was on a path to our home in the Iowa woods. She looked devious, worse than me when I was planning Bella's wedding. She had a gold cross on her neck. The driver stopped in front of our home.

I blinked, smiled at Lacey and stood.

"I gotta go. Bye Lace."

"Thanks so much Alice," Lacey beamed.

"No problem. See you Monday."

I walked out of the shop quickly as the wind picked up. After a few minutes, Carlisle's Mercedes stopped on the curb. He held the passenger door open for me.

"Thanks," I said as we drove.

He smiled, "How was tutoring?"

"Good. Lacey's ready for her test."

"Excellent," Carlisle replied cutting the engine. We got in just as it began to pour outside. Bella came into the room with a pile of mail frowning as I was pulling up Gilt on my computer. Next to me Jazz and Edward were trying to massacre each other in Halo. Rose was painting Esme's toes as Esme did the same for Rose. Carlisle smiled at Rose and kissed Esme before settling next to her to watch the Halo tournament. Emmett was nowhere to be seen. Bella's eyes narrowed.

"Emmett Cullen. I will kill all of your Madden players if you aren't down in here in one minute," Bella said sternly. She quickly handed Carlisle a thick cream envelope. RDF Media was stamped on the back. It was addressed to the Cullen family. He pulled the letter out and scanned it quickly as Esme read over his shoulder. He turned so Rose and the boys could read it. She, Edward, Jasper, and Esme blanched. Bella on the other hand started collecting Emmett's Madden discs from under the TV. Emmett appeared in a 20 seconds, angry.

"What did I do now? I haven't gotten in trouble at school; I haven't shown off, I've done nothing, Bella. Tell her Edward."

Edward almost smiled, almost.

"RDF Media, Emmett,"Esme stated plainly.

"Huh? I didn't do anything Mom I swear on the Bhagavad Gita."

"Then why is Wife Swap, excited for your mother to join its long line of women who've had life changing experiences on their program?"Carlisle asked the picture of calm. The man was a saint for putting up with Emmett for so long especially after the time he accidentally destroyed a stack of important clinical trials and a set of blueprints Esme literally could not reproduce. Emmett tried to snatch the discs from Bella. She didn't give an inch, "Answer him."

"I overheard Bella and Esme talking about it a few weeks ago."

"And?"Bella groaned.

"I thought Esme might like a break from our craziness. That maybe she'd appreciate a normal family. A family that didn't break everything. Or drink blood."

Esme laughed, "Considerate Em. But I like my life just fine."Esme smiled and Edward smirked looking at me. I nodded.