Crazy trouble with love part 4

Qrowa and Jaune

Series: RWBY

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-Hotel room-

Beep beep beep beep beep-

Bonk!

"Ugh….too early." Spoke a blond from under the covers of the bed. He slowly got up and stretched until he realized he was naked, not in his room, and kind of hearing someone snoring next to him. 'What's going on here!?'

As he tried to figure out what was going on a woman with long black hair that reached to her shoulders, with red eyes, wearing a choker with a silver cross on it, slowly got up from the other side of the bed as she yawned and stretched with her large E cup chest jiggling a little and poking the sheets which indicated that she was also naked and not wearing any underwear. 'Ugh….what hit me?'

The blond went wide eyed and dropped his jaw while the women rubbed her eyes.

"Mm…..who the hell are you?" She asked while having a massive hangover. 'Damn that all night drinking spree.'

"I-I-I should be asking you that!" He spoke before wincing and held his head. 'Ow! Damn it, too loud.'

"Just tell me your damn name." She growled while in no mood to talk as her head felt ready to split open. 'Just how many drinks did I have last night?'

"Jaune Arc."

"Arc…..isn't that the family of expert Hunters?" she asked while sitting down.

"Yeah, that's them." He said while pinching his nose.

She nodded. "I'm Qrowa Branwen, now get out of my room."

"Can't, naked remember." He said before seeing a white and red diamond ring on his finger. "Wait, where'd this ring come from?"

"What ring?" She said while turning around.

"This one."

She looked at it before seeing the same ring on her finger. 'Sweet….fucking Dust.' "Kid, hate to tell you this but somehow you got hitched."

"...you're kidding, right? I mean, this is probably a candy ring. Watch." He said before biting on the ring and nearly chipped his teeth. "Ow!"

"Told you. And," she raised her right hand up and flashed the ring to him. "It's seems we got into something last night because I'm wearing the same thing you are."

Jaune paled before screaming loudly before clutching his head in pain.

"Ow!" she winced while glaring at him. "Make one more loud noise and I'm gonna put you to sleep."

He gulped at that. "N-Noted." He then looked closely at her and saw a mix of Yang and Ruby in her appearance. "Um if you don't mind me asking but are you a….friend of Ruby and Yang?"

"I'm their aunt."

And cue Jaune feeling like a bomb went off in his head.

"Now before I castrate you tell me, how do you know my nieces?"

"I….I'm their friend f-from Beacon." He stuttered seeing the cold stare of death. 'It's like seeing a demonic Yang but with Ruby's face….that was so wrong in my head.'

"Oh yeah? Prove it."

"Ruby is the team leader and um Yang….used two cooked chickens as weapons in a food fight." He gulped. "A-And Ruby has a red cloak that looks cool."

"And what else? I mean who they are."

"They're girls, sisters to be exact, they would kill me if they find out about this." 'Oh god….I just saw my funeral, and Yang is kicking my corpse.'

Qrowa frowned before seeing his face. 'Honest yet scared shitless, yep he's what he says he is.'

'Oh man, how did any of this happen?!' He thought before seeing a videotape on the table next to the tv. 'That might help.' "Um Qrowa, could you um...close your eyes for a second?"

"Why?"

"Because I need to...get something."

"No, you can just get up and do it." She rolled her eyes.

Jaune sighed and stood up before walking towards the tape. He saw it was labeled Great party by Ruby and Yang. 'Huh? When did...ugh never mind.' "Looks like Ruby and Yang came with us, me, you know what I mean."

"If that thing shows me the wrong stuff then you're gonna find out how hard I can squeeze something till it POPS."

Jaune lost all color at that as he pushed the tape into the tv as it started playing.

(Flashback)

"I'm telling you guys," Yang said while Ruby was holding a camera and Jaune was dragged by the blond. "This is a great bar to hang out."

"Yang I told you I gotta spar tonight." spoke Jaune.

"Well cancel them." She said. "Plus I'm not going to let Ruby hang out with anyone that's not me or a friend."

"Well why can't you just have Weiss or Blake come with?"

"Blake is reading a book at the library and Weiss is practicing her Glyphs." She said as they entered the bar. "Welcome to the most insane bar in Vale!"

"And the one she trashed." Whispered Ruby to Jaune. "Sorry about this but you know Yang, she's overprotective."

"It's fine." He said as Yang decided to party on the dance floor. "But if she wanted to party why bring us along?"

"Maybe she wanted to have company?" She shrugged before seeing a familiar person drinking near a table. 'I-It's her!'

"Ruby? Are you ok?"

"Jaune….turn around."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

He turned and saw a woman with black hair, wearing a gray shirt with black sleeves, a corset similar to Ruby's with a short black skirt with red under it with two longer ones reaching to her knees, long black high heel boots, wearing some rings on her right hand and a dark gray bracelet. Around her shoulders was a long tattered red cape that reached to her knees as a longsword sat next to her table. "I'm looking and I'm not following. Who is she?"

"That's my aunt, Qrowa Branwen." She whispered back. "And she's Yang's as well."

"Your aunt?" he spoke with wide eyes.

"Yep, and she's the greatest hunter out there!" She smiled. "Although….she drinks really odd things."

"Odd?"

"Like booze and liquor but Yang never lets me taste any so I really don't know what the big deal is." She said before dragging Jaune to her aunt. "Aunty Qrowa! Aunty Qrowa!"

"Huh?" she turned and smiled at seeing Ruby. "Ruby, how's it going kiddo?"

"Great." She smiled. "How's everything?"

"Fine, just being cool that's all but where's your sister?"

"Dancing."

"Well what are you doing here? Aren't you still a little young to be around a bar?"

"I'm not that young." She pouted. "And Yang asked me to come with my friend Jaune."

She looked at Jaune and raised an eyebrow at him. "And just who are you to my nieces?"

Jaune gulped. "Um I'm just a friend. From Beacon and well, Ruby and Yang like hanging with me for some reason."

"Hey!"

"Just saying."

"But I'm your best friend!" Ruby pouted cutely.

"I know, I'm not saying otherwise. It's just you usually talk to me a lot more than Weiss and Yang on some days."

"So you two are pretty close huh?"

"I can't say close, just good friends."

"Yep, good friends." Ruby smiled. "But Aunty Qrowa, why are you here?"

"I'm just here for the drinks, and the young men." She said eyeing a pretty boy and smirked a little.

"Aunty." groaned Ruby covering her face.

"Hey, I'm not dead yet, and I might find someone here who could be your future uncle."

"Aunty."

"Don't worry Ruby, it's just how family works." Jaune chuckled. "That's how my sister felt when she married a long while back. Only it was to a girl from my old school….who was my history teacher."

"Damn."

"Yeah, it was awkward every time I went to class."

"So how old was she?"

"Who?"

"Your teacher."

"Oh miss Medb. She was about your age." He gulped. "And um...my sister was half the age. About um….how old are you?"

"Older than you kid."

"...yeah. Like about fifteen, give or take a year."

"Damn."

"Aunty Qrowa." Ruby said while putting the camera down. "Could you keep an eye on this, I need to make sure Yang doesn't get herself kicked out again."

"Again? What do you-"

BANG!

"Mean."

"Be right back!" Ruby said while running towards Yang's position, leaving Jaune alone with the woman.

'This is….awkward.' Jaune thought while looking around.

"So tell me about yourself." Qrowa said gesturing for him to take a seat.

He walked over and sat next to her. "Oh um, I'm Jaune Arc, a hunter in training, I'm the leader of JNPR, and um…...I got nothing."

"What do you mean you got nothing?"

"Well truth be told I'm not really a good fighter, still working on it yes, but I'm kind of the black sheep of Beacon." He said looking away.

"Let me guess, no Semblance yet?"

"Yes."

"...sucks to be you." She said while taking a sip of her beer.

'Gee thanks.' he thought with sarcasm.

"But why say that?" She said looking at him. "It's not like you're a false student with fake papers, that would be ridiculous."

"Yeah….it would he he."

"Wait you are aren't you." She said with a sigh. 'Ozpin what the hell are you doing with your students these days?'

"Um, I can neither confirm nor deny that." he replied trying to play it cool.

"Nice try but my….friend Taiyang, Yang's and Ruby's father, tried the same trick years ago to get out of taking out the trash. It's not going to cut it with me."

"Wait what?"

"Didn't you know? I was on the same team as my niece's father and mother's, one of which was my twin sister Raven." She sighed. "But back to the point, tell me the truth or you might not be a man anymore."

He gulped. "Ok ok! I faked my transcripts ok! But everything else is fine!"

"Well what else is there?"

"Um….I'm learning and trying to work hard so I can show people that even an inexperienced person like me can help others."

"..."

"What?"

"You are an odd one. Kind of like me when I was younger. But without the dye." She pointed to the hair.

"It's natural."

She just sighed before giving him a beer. "Here, have some."

"No thanks, I'll pass."

"Just try one." She frowned.

"No."

"Humor me." She said with a little more emotion.

"...no."

"Do it or I'll throw you out a window." She said while a nearby table broke in half and sent a bottle of wine into the air and into Jaune's mouth. 'Damn Semblance!'

Jaune stumbled back while the wine started going down his gullet. That was when he started to like the taste. 'Huh, never knew this stuff was good.'

"Sorry, blame my Semblance for that."

He got up while feeling happy. "That's fine, but can I get some more?"

She grinned while grabbing a wine bottle. "I recommend Vale year 2016, it was a good year."

Jaune snatched it while he started guzzling from it.

(A while later)

"Hic." Jaune said while finishing his tenth drink as he hung onto Qrowa's shoulder, who was just as drunk, since she had the same amount of beer in her system. "Oh this is great!"

"See? I told ya!"

"I feel so happy." He said while looking at Qrowa. "And I'm so tempted to woo some sexy babes!"

"Woo? Come on don't be a dork, just say 'Hey, I'm gonna find me some hot ass and tap it!'"

"Ok, hey I'm going to find me some hot as fuck ass and tap it hic." He said with a shit eating grin. "Maybe I should go and get some ass, want to come?"

"Fuck yeah!" She grinned while stumbling up and grabbed her sword before putting it on her back as Jaune stumbled up and grabbed the camera.

They stumbled out of the bar as they hung onto each other for support as they wolf whistled at various girls they met as Jaune touched some of their asses.

"Oh that was a soft ass, hic."

"Please, I betcha the next one's gonna really feel good."

He laughed before touching a girl's ass.

"Ah!" Jumped Cinder as she turned and glared at the boy before walking away.

"So how was that?"

"Big, but meh, too hard."

"Let me try." She said before squeezing a girl's ass.

Neo glared before kicking her knee and stormed off. 'Pervert!'

"And hic?"

"Too soft and kind of flattish." she replied while rubbing her knee. "Plus she was Ruby's age, but not so bad on the eyes."

Jaune laughed at that. "Well your eyes are sexy as hell, hic. Are you sure you're not a model?"

"Oh you flirt." she said while hiccuping a little. "I'm old enough to be your mother."

"Yep, a hot MILF!"

"But no I ain't no model, I don't like putting on so much makeup, makes me feel like a dress up doll. Plus they gotta starve themselves, I like eating what I like. Being a huntress burns off extra fat easy." Qrowa giggled while they walked towards a church. "Hey want to check this place out?"

"If we can mess the place up then sure, hic."

The two headed over and entered while taking a few swigs from their bottles. Inside was a man giving out free marriages and the ones up at the podium were….Yang and two twins?

"I wish you three a happy lifetime."

"Same." Spoke Miltia while kissing Yang's left cheek as Melanie kissed the other cheek.

'Yang you crazy idiot.' Ruby groaned in the stands while embarrassed about the whole thing. 'Why drink and do this to them?! And drunk too!' She then saw Jaune and Qrowa stumbling towards her.

"Heyo kiddo!"

"Rub Rub Ruby!"

"Guys, why are you here? And how drunk are you?!"

They smiled. "Because we wanted to mess this place up."

"And how many bottles?"

"Ten...I think, lost count." Jaune said while groping Qrowa's chest. "God this is big, and hot!"

"Jaune! You're groping my aunt!"

"Kiddo, I'm fine." She said while pinching Jaune's ass. "Plus he's been a great drinking buddy."

"Same with you sexy, hic."

Ruby groaned and shook her head. "Look, just get out of here while I try to get Yang out of here and cancel this 'marriage'."

Qrowa rolled her eyes before putting a bottle of beer into Ruby's mouth. "Just settle down and have some fun Ruby."

She felt her head getting hazy as she fell to the ground and snored.

"Man is she a lightweight." laughed Jaune.

"A very big time one!" She laughed while the priest saw them and beckoned them to come toward. "Perfect, let's fuck this place up, Jauney Jaune."

"I'm on it sexy." He said before they walked up and stood at the podium.

(One marriage later)

They stumbled into a hotel room before laughing as they fell on the bed.

"Oh man, I'm married to a hot MILF."

"Hey, technically I'm a cougar, I've never had kids before, which means I don't have any stretchmarks. Consider yourself lucky."

"I know." He said while groping her chest. "But your still sexy as hell, my sexy wife, hic."

She smirked before grabbing him and pulled him under her.

(End flashback)

"Ah….ah….ah…" Jaune staggered while turning to Qrowa with a red face. 'I did it….I did it with her…..oh fucking god!'

"Oh fuck, we really were hitched."

He looked at the ring before blushing again as he returned to the bed. "Oh god….what am I going to do!"

"Simple, you man up."

"How! I mean...wait, we did it while drunk, maybe we can get it cancelled out just as easy."

"Not really. In Vale, you can't cancel a wedding until five years pass." She groaned. "Trust me, I had to learn this when my annoying sister got married." 'Worse part of my life.'

"Oh shit. Which means...I'm basically Ruby and Yang's uncle!"

"And my niece got married." She frowned. "God I'm going to give her such a talking to!"

"Same, but what ever happened to Ruby?" He asked before Ruby walked out of the bathroom in a towel while steam came out of the bathroom.

"Ah, much better." She sighed. 'I really needed one after that damn night.'

"Ruby? How'd you get in here?" asked Qrowa.

"Oh aunty Qrowa," she then saw Jaune. "Jaune….I don't remember but I was asleep in the bathtub for some reason."

'Just stay calm.' Jaune thought with a gulp.

"Wait, why are you two naked?"

"Um you see…."

"You got a new uncle." Qrowa bluntly said.

"...really?" she blinked before dropping her jaw. "Oh my god!"

"And we can't cancel it."

Ruby felt a little more shocked before remembering what happened last night. "Oh god…..I remember why I came here! I-I-I masturbated to you two after entering from the window!"

"Holy shit!" spoke Jaune with wide eyes.

"Damn, you are a pervert." Qrowa said while slowly getting up. "But where's Yang?"

"I thought you knew."

"CAN YOU KEEP IT DOWN I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!" Yelled Yang's voice along with two others from the other room.

They jumped at that while Jaune hugged Qrowa on accident. Which lead to him sitting on her lap with her breasts pressed against the side of him.

"Kid, what the hell are you doing?!"

"Oh-Oh I'm so sorry!"

"I'm telling you, man the fuck up." She frowned. "If we're gonna be hitched then you better start or I'll make you."

"O-Ok." He said before calming down, but felt his junk getting hard. 'Crap.'

"Oh come on!" blushed Ruby seeing it and used the towel to cover her eyes. "Jaune!"

"Sorry!"

Qrowa smirked before grabbing it. "Well since you're eager to try fucking me, I'll humor and give you a good time before breakfast."

He blushed as Ruby started to hear moaning as she ran into the bathroom again. 'Gah! Why me?!'