Butterflies

"Me? I'm nobody. I'm not skilled like Uchiha-san. I am not passionate like Haruno-san. I am not smart like Nara-san. I'm not as strong as Chouji-san. I'm not as collected as Aburame-san. Or as pretty as Yamanaka-san. I'm not as confident as Inuzuka-san. If anything, I'm like Hyuuga-san, socially awkward. Oh wait, no, she's just shy. The socially awkward one is me." OC! Team 7 remix!

Chapter 44 – Chouji: Back to the start

8-8

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about this. Shika's the only one from our team in the final exam; not that that's in any way surprising. What is surprising is that his family is pretty much moving in with Aya for the next month. I… don't know how to feel about that. Not because I'm jealous, or worried or anything stupid like that. But mostly because… I'm not sure if I'd be welcomed there.

Anyway, I'll just have to go ring on and see what that gets me. But for now, I've got a few things to deal with for myself. I want to talk to mom about some things, and I want to talk about dad about some more training, and I want to start working on a few projects. Asuma-sensei already said that he'll be focusing on Shika for the next month, so Ino and I have 'some time off'. I plan on using that time.

"Hey, mom. Can I talk to you?" I ask, wondering if she isn't too busy with cooking and whatnot.

"Sure, sweetie. What's on your mind?" She seems amused by something for some reason. I narrow my eyes a little, wondering about that. Mom always seems to know things she sort of shouldn't know.

"Well…" I wonder how I should even bring this up. "I'm trying to… round out my training a bit. So I want to start including some… other aspects of not just a shinobi's training, but perhaps some more…"

"Sweetie. You're speaking so carefully that I know you're trying to hide behind your words. Why don't you tell me what the problem is, and the possible solutions you've already come up with on your own."

Yeah, that's more or less what I mean. "…It's a bit… personal."

"Is it." She just smiles a little wider. "Well, I'll try to help if I can."

Why do I get the feeling she's already figured this out and just wants me to say it? "Do you need a hand with cooking?"

"Company is always welcome. Would you mind cutting the lettuce?" She nods to the cutting board she already has out, and the two heads of lettuce sitting on it with a knife right next to it. Uh huh. Yeah, she saw this coming.

I nod, starting to cut up the lettuce the way she taught me to – after washing my hands, of course. "I talked to Aya during the exam." Somehow, having my back to her makes this a little easier. I'm not sure I understand –or want to understand– why that is.

"I see." I can hear the smile in her voice.

"Yeah. She compared me to Peter Pan?" There's a slight choking sound, so I turn and look at her over my shoulder, but I don't see anything out of the ordinary. She's just there seasoning the meat, nothing unusual at all. "She said to look her up when I find my way out of Neverland."

Her shoulders seem to be shaking just a little. Not much, but enough to mean something. "I see." I still hear a smile in her voice, but I can't make sense of her at all.

I continue chopping the lettuce, wondering about her odd behaviour. "Yeah. I didn't really understand it at first, so I asked Ino. I mean, girls tend to be able to translate what another girl says, so…"

She doesn't say anything this time. I wonder about that. What is she thinking?

"Ino explained how Peter Pan is this guy that never grew up. And how even though Aya's physically thirteen, she's mentally like twenty or something. How she had to grow up really quickly because of living on her own and all that."

"… Yes, I suppose that's part of it." Mom says, her tone more serious now. I narrow my eyes a little, trying to understand what she means. She doesn't continue though.

"Anyway, I've been wondering about what I can do to start focusing on the future. So I figure the best place to start is asking you. I mean… you really take care of people, you know. So, maybe you could help me…?"

"Help you to grow up?" She's… feeling something I can't pin down. I don't really know what to make of her at all. "Sorry, Chou-chan. No one can help you grow up. You have to do that on your own. All I can do is be patient."

"No, mom. I know that. I mean, help me figure out the first steps to take. Point me in the right direction." I explain a little better, I hope. "I'm going to be bugging dad for more training again. And I'm going to start studying a few scrolls Asuma-sensei gave me… but somehow I think that is only half the story, you know? Like even if I become the strongest Akimichi in history, I'll only ever be halfway to where I need to be."

I think about that some more, trying to pin down in words what's been bugging me since that talk with Aya.

"I mean… I've been thinking about how I've been handling my life so far… I agree with Aya. I've had it so good that I don't even realise that there are people that struggle. And even though I'm earning my own money, I keep bugging you and dad whenever I'm running low on cash. But the thing is… I'm not sure how to fix that. I mean, yeah I could just start taking more missions after the third exam. Which isn't a bad place to start, but I still feel like there's more to it than just that."

That just keeps running through my head, over and over again. I finish with the first lettuce, so I grab the pieces and place them in a bowl so mom can use them when she's ready. I start cutting up the second one.

"I mean… I don't even know how much money I'd need to make per week to support myself. So I don't know how many missions I'd need to bug Asuma-sensei to take. Then there's what to do with the money I make. It makes more sense to have more than I'd need, but I'd first need to find out how much I need. You know? And… to be honest with you, I've been going over the prices of the food I've been buying… it's ridiculous how much money I put into food that doesn't even fill me all that much. Like chips. I love chips, but I'd need two large bags, at least, to fill me. And that's just once. I did a little calculating, and I seriously end up eating about thirty bags of chips a week! That's a lot of money wasted that I could be spending on other things, you know?"

"Hmm…"

"It gets worse though. I mean, the more I start to think, the more I realise how much is going on I don't know about. I mean, I'm the heir of the clan, but I've never bothered to learn anything about how the clan works. I've never accepted dad's invitations to go to any of the Four Clan meetings unless he bribed me with snacks, and… even if I think about just around the house… I don't… I don't know how anything gets done." That last comes out so soft, I wonder if she can hear me. "If you told me that my clothes go from the hamper straight back to my closet… I wouldn't know how to even respond to it."

"Hmm…"

"I'm… just a child. A stupid little kid that thinks he's so grown up. That just because I wear a headband, I'm an adult and I can make up my own mind how things should get done." I say, my tone sour. "I… I don't want that. Not anymore. I need to figure this out, but there's just so much, you know? Where do I even start?"

"With the basics." Mom says. I can't make out what she's thinking, at all. Not that that's anything new. "Help me this week. I'll give you some chores, and some books to study. Go with me to the market and start helping me with the bookkeeping. It might all seem like chores, but it's the best place to start figuring out what an adult needs to deal with."

I think about that. Well, I haven't exactly spent a lot of time with mom lately. Maybe this is a good place to start; she would never point me in the wrong direction either. "Alright. I'm in your hands, mom."

8-8

After helping mom cook lunch, we eat and I help her with the dishes. Then I'm instructed to follow her. She brings me into her office, leads me to her bookshelf, and she goes over the selection of books she has. "Aya's a bit of a bookworm herself. She's probably read most, if not all, of these books. But I think you'd best start out with these two."

I'm handed two books. 'Peter Pan and Wendy', and 'Pride and Prejudice'. I blink.

"Don't just read the words. Study them. Try to learn what the book means, what the hidden message is behind the pretty words." I nod, unsure what to make of that. "I'll give you a hint. Start with Peter Pan and Wendy. And consider each character as a symbol for something else. They aren't just people being written about, they are symptoms of something bigger. Try to figure out what."

I nod, thinking about that.

"Go on. Start reading. I'm going to start cleaning in about two hours. See what you can figure out in that time."

8-8

"Hey, Re-chan. Busy day?" Dad asks, walking into the kitchen as mom's cooking dinner. He hugs her from behind, his arms wrapped around her waist, and kisses her on the cheek.

"It wasn't too bad. Chouji's been giving me a hand around the house." Mom says, I can hear her smiling again, but I rather just get back to my book. This whole 'Peter Pan' thing is interesting. I mean, if you look at him, his personality, his quirks, he's a complete and total child. He likes danger and adventure and exploring the unknown. But… he's also completely lost. He doesn't understand the world around him, he doesn't know how things really work, even though he's skilled enough to deal with it anyway.

"Has he? Well, how'd you work that miracle? Have you been stealing a page from my book and bribing him?" Dad jokes, chuckling loudly.

"Oh no. He came to me on his own." Mom sounds amused again. I ignore them both.

Wendy on the other hand, is what you'd expect from a girl her age. Well, an eldest sibling that happens to be a girl. She's mature, nurturing, she takes care of everyone around her, and even though she's obviously falling in love with Peter, he just can't process that and acts more like her son – even going so far as to tell her he loves her like a son should. She needs more than he can offer, because he just won't grow up.

That's what Aya meant.

"Has he now? And you have him reading classic literature, too?" Dad, you're being loud. It's hard to read when you're being so loud.

"Uh huh. He says he wants to bug you about some more training too. Even though he didn't make it to the third round, he figures he should make the most of the time he's given. Says he wants to start understanding how the clan works too." Mom sounds more than amused now. I think there's a sense of pride in her tone.

Hmm. What if… what if the 'lost boys'… what if their 'being lost if the garden' means something totally different? I don't know what it could mean, but I think there's something more to this. I mean, being in Neverland means you never grow up? But then, why does Peter come to 'our world' to 'collect' more boys? And why is there only Wendy – the only girl. Well, other than Tiger Lily, but she's the only girl of that Indian tribe. A whole 'world' and only two girls in it – one of which doesn't even belong in that world.

…

Tiger Lily… she acts like a tomboy too. Getting into trouble, just like the boys. That's how Peter found her in the first place, she was doing something stupid. So a world full of boys, and a tomboy. Why do I get the impression that the author is writing this for boys, to show them something? I mean, playing pirate… if you compare that to playing ninja here? It's a game all kids play, though mostly boys do. Never wanting to grow up, always wanting to play games meant for kids, but in a dangerous way? Hmm… but what does it mean?

"Does he now…"

"He does. We've agreed that he'll be helping me around the house this week. With cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, bookkeeping, all the boring stuff."

What if… what if the hidden message is trying to find the dangers of the games we play? Not as a girl, or our mom, trying to lecture us on how stupid we are. But as a guy who's been there, trying to warn the younger generation about the pitfalls we don't see coming?

"Hmm… Well, I have a few meetings set up next week. Maybe I can take him along and show him how a clan head does things?"

"That sounds great dad." I say, meaning it. I'm still reading and wondering about this book, though.

"… Okay. Who are you and what have you done with my son?"

"His Wendy is trying to coax him out of Neverland." Mom sounds REALLY amused this time.

There's a low whistle. "I'd better tell Shikaku. If he or Yoshino can find a girl to motivate Shikamaru… That boy'd be the most dangerous genin in the village, if not the world."

8-8

Eight-hundred and eighty-two… eight-hundred and eighty-three… hmm, isn't this weird? I talk to mom about helping me grow up, and dad puts me on his personal training regimen. I've also been given a few clan scrolls I'm meant to study as well – Akimichi clan history, Four Clans history, and inter clan relations between the Akimichi and dozens of other clans right here in Konoha.

Eight-hundred and ninety-one… eight-hundred and ninety-two… to make it even more complicated, dad's been bugging me about picking up a weapon. He suggests gauntlets or a naginata, but wants me to make up my own mind. Hmm, we'll see. I'm more focused on my mind right now, and this stuff is hard enough to figure out sometimes.

It's been two days since getting back from the second exam. Two days. I… don't even recognize the world I find myself in. Dad's got me wearing weights. Mom's got me doing laundry and reading books. I'm constantly bugging her about that Peter Pan theory I'm working on. I… I wonder if Shika and Ino would even recognize me when they see what I've been up to.

…

I doubt it.

8-8

"Hey, Chouji. Where have you been hiding?" Ino asks the second she sets foot in the house. She takes one look at me, and her jaw drops.

"What's with the look?" I ask her, annoyed.

"… What are you doing?"

"Baking muffins?" I think it would be obvious, seeing as I'm here reading a cookbook which clearly shows a picture of a chocolate muffin.

"… Why?"

"Why not" I answer. "Everyone's busy training, so I figure it's time to start training too."

"By baking muffins?"

"Stop being so blonde." I tell her, even more annoyed now. "I'm baking muffins because I feel like eating a muffin. I was telling you what I've been up to these days, since you haven't seen me and were about to ask anyway."

"I… see…" She isn't sure how to respond. Yeah, I figured.

"Look. You heard Aya. I need to grow up a little. I'm not sure how to do that, so I'm just trying to handle things." I tell her. She smirks, her eyebrow slightly raised as well.

"Oh?"

"Look, don't you start. I've been dealing with dad teasing me every chance he gets."

"I wasn't going to tease you." She lies with a smile. "Well, not much. Mostly I was just thinking how surprised Aya-chan's going to be when she finds out. And… uncle Shikaku told dad that we've been invited to dinner over at Aya's." She smiles brighter.

"Sounds cool. We expected there for six?"

"Uh uh. Mom wants auntie and her to head over early to help cook. So we're leaving for two-thirty. You know where auntie is?"

"Yeah, she's in the bathroom. I'll let her know when she gets out. Did we need to pick up anything from the market? Mom and I just got back, but I doubt she'll mind getting some things for the Namikis." I point out, adding the chunks of pure chocolate to the batter. I make sure to mix it properly. Once I'm satisfied, I pour it into the forms and let them sit with a tea towel over them. Then I turn on the oven and set it to the right temperature.

I briefly wonder just how many books Aya's read. Maybe I'll ask her later if she's feeling chatty. You just never know in advance if Aya's feeling chatty.

8-8

End Chapter 44

8-8

A/N: A good bit shorter again, but I don't want to overstate what Chouji's up to. He seems to almost be living a quiet, solitary life. Lots of reading, and almost downtime with his mom and dad. That's not what Aya's up to at all, but I'm sure that's a surprise to no one. So what say we find out what our beloved psycho is up to? And... how she's coping with Anko being in her home...