Peridot arrived at the barnyard, exhausted and roughed up from the journey. She wheezed and sputtered as she put in the last effort to climb the hill toward the field. She could barely make out Lapis curled up in a ball upon the truck lodged into the door. The sight of such a thing only served to egg Peridot forward. Despite the urgency of the situation, Peridot paused her movement just before she reached Lapis. She hadn't taken a moment to think of what to do or say once she got back. She picked a little gift up for her, but that was about it. Her mind was still preoccupied with thoughts of Amethyst's kiss, Lapis' initial breakdown, and how she was going to hold it all together. It felt like she wanted to have a breakdown herself.
"I know you're standing there Peri.", Lapis called out. Peridot froze and stuttered for a moment. It was so like Lapis to do such a thing. Peridot could think of a million things she loved about Lapis, but her smugness was one thing she seldom tolerated. Nonetheless, she was now thrust into the spotlight, and she for once was absolutely silent. Lapis wiped her face clean of tears and turned to face Peridot below, dangling her feet off the edge of the truck. Peridot stood meekly at the entrance to the cornfield, gripping a small gift box tightly in her hands with a single balloon tied around her wrist from the carnival. The air was deathly still for at least a minute.
"I-I came to see how you were doing Lazuli.", Peridot spoke nervously. "I'm sorry it took so long for me to get here, but you know how long it takes to get here on foot." Lapis sighed heavily, "Yea, I'm sorry I left you guys like that. I didn't mean to get upset over something that silly." Peridot looked on concerned, "No! It's not silly! I understa-" Lapis cut her off abruptly, "You can't understand! You could never understand how that feels!" Peridot gasped softly, she hadn't meant for that to hurt Lapis. Lapis' face quickly went from anger to remorse. "I'm sorry Peri! It's just that I..." Peridot began crying a slight bit. Lapis continued quietly, "I appreciate that you want to help. But we've been over this before. I don't need you to placate me."
Peridot stood silent. She tried desperately to control her emotions, but the events of the day were far too overwhelming. And the trauma of it really showed. Lapis flew down and placed her hand on her shoulder. "It's not your fault. You had nothing to do with it. With the mirror, with Malachite, with Jasper, with anything... But you'll never be able to understand how badly that hurts me." Peridot took a deep breath, "Maybe not. But that's not going to change the fact that I'm trying to help you!" Lapis looked away for a moment, "I don't need your help..." Peridot moved to cut her off, "Yes you do! You always act like you can handle it, but you can't! Days like today make that painfully obvious Lapis! Why can't you just let somebody help you for once! I don't care if I can't see it from your point of view, there's got to be something I can do to ease that pain! And I'm not going to stop trying anytime soon!"
Lapis took a step back, stunned at Peridot's sudden outburst. Another moment of silence passed between them before Peridot continued, "I don't know how to help you though. I have no idea where to start. Maybe I'd have a clue if you'd just stop shutting me out! You've already admitted you have a problem, but if you keep pushing me away, you're just wallowing in misery for the sake of it!" Now Lapis retaliated, more defensively than ever, "Now you listen here! Do you have any idea what it's like to have to contend with the constant fear of being alone!? I don't bring it up because I don't want to make myself into a burden for you to carry! You're the closest friend I've ever had! You're the closest thing to a-..." Lapis cut herself off. She wasn't sure how to end that sentence. Peridot took advantage of the hesitation, "A what, Lapis?" Lapis sputtered and waved her arms "That's not important! What's important is I don't want to lose you! Or Steven! Or anyone else! I spent 80% of my life trapped in a makeshift prison alone, and I'm not going back!"
Peridot gritted her teeth angrily, "I'm not asking you to go back! I'm just asking for the some freaking honesty! What kind of relationship do we have if we can't be open and honest with each other? If we can't have that, then our relationship is nothing but a load of... of bullshit!" Lapis grabbed her chest, deeply offended by Peridot's tirade. Peridot seemed to be steaming off of her hair. Lapis, barely holding back her tears, wordlessly fled into the barn. Peridot stood there, taking in her surroundings as slowly as she could. Finally she let her tears fall freely and quietly. For one reason or another, she felt like she had lost her best friend. She slowly dragged herself into the barn, making careful effort to avoid making any contact with Lapis across the room. Balling up on the beaten sofa upstairs, she did what she did best when she got depressed, and binged Camp Pining Hearts until she lost track of time.
It was many hours later, while Peridot was already well into watching the same season thrice, when Lapis finally climbed the ladder to Peridot's bed quietly as she could. She slumped herself against the sofa near Peridot's feet and spoke quietly, "So is this season 4?" Peridot did her best to pretend she wasn't there. "Cause you know I haven't seen all of it yet, but I know I've seen this one at least 50 times." Peridot maintained her silence, merely turning up the volume on the television a few clicks. Lapis closed her eyes and took a deep breath in, "I'm sorry." Peridot paused the episode and looked down at Lapis, "I'm sorry too." Lapis huffed, "Why do we do this to each other?" Peridot shuffled a slight bit wordlessly. "I mean, I know we don't hate each other.", Lapis continued. "But I can't understand why we constantly have these fights! And they're getting worse!"
Peridot was searching for something to say. Finally she spoke, "It's all communication, Lazuli. Just like I said. But if you don't want to talk about certain 'things' I understand..." Lapis quickly interrupted, "No you were right. It took a while to realize it, but you're right. We're best friends, I shouldn't hide things like this from you because I'm afraid I'll just become dead weight." Peridot sat up from her slouch and looked Lapis in the eyes, "I don't think you're dead weight..." Lapis raised her voice into a shout, "But what if that's what I become!? I don't want our friendship to become a dependence! You shouldn't have to worry about me like that." Peridot's eyes began to waver, but she stayed strong, "Lapis we rely on each other. I want to help you not because I feel sorry for you, but because you genuinely need someone close to you. You were right about one thing. You've spent most of your life in isolation, isn't it time you had a real friend?" Lapis was playing with the splinters on the floor, fidgeting and trying her best to keep her composure. But the two of them began to feel something strange, as if a whole burden was being lifted from their shoulders. It was a warm sensation of trust, of flexibility, of friendship. It was something they hadn't felt in a long time.
Lapis climbed on top of the couch and wrapped herself around Peridot. Peridot felt the blush rush to her cheeks. If she had a heart, it would be racing right now. Lapis noticed and was quick to check in, "You uh, don't mind if I sleep up here with you right?" Peridot smiled, "No, I think I like it actually! Lapis laughed quietly, and picked up the remote to resume the episode. The two spent the night on the couch, watching Camp Pining Hearts. They only made it a few episodes further, before falling asleep on top of each other. In that moment, the one moment of true peace of mind, Peridot felt as she drifted off her mind fade into clouds. She was losing conciousness, and greeted sleep as an old friend. It's been a long day, and tomorrow seems so far away. Maybe that's for the best.