Chapter 3 Save My Soul
The grip on my throat kept getting tighter and tighter. I was starting to lose my ability to breath. I tried calling out to him but no sounds would come out of my throat. I knew that he was still asleep so it wasn't like he was doing this in his right mind. But none-the-less I felt myself fading into the darkness. I made one last effort to get through to him. I slowly lifted my hands up and cupped his face.
"Er..wi..n w..ake…up…please!"
Still nothing. I couldn't' keep my eyes open much longer. Then suddenly he stopped. The force was gone from my throat and I opened my eyes to be met with his blue ones. He reached his hands up and pulled mine away from his face but he never let them go. He just looked at me.
"Hey it's okay. I'm okay."
I slowly sat up and wrapped my arms around him. He never moved he just sat there and let me. I pulled back to look into his eyes.
"Addelyne I am so sorry. I hurt you."
He slowly placed his hand on my neck where it had been previously. I relaxed into his touch knowing that he was in his right mind. I sighed quietly as he ghosted his hand over the crook in my neck. He jerked back.
"Does it hurt?"
"No…it's not that. Stop fretting. I'm perfectly fine. I shouldn't have tried to wake you. It's my fault really."
"Addelyne…"
"Erwin I said it's fine. You probably have a little bit of PTSD. It's common for soldiers."
I gave him my brightest smile and then threw my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me as close to him as possible.
"Tomorrow I will arrange Hange to give you a room of your own."
"And if I don't want that."
He jerked back and looked at me. A look of surprise in his eyes.
"Do you not understand that I could have killed you Addelyne?"
"I do understand and that's exactly why I don't want to be away from you Erwin. When I was younger I had a very messed up dad. He would drink all the time and then hurt me and my brother. He even went as far as to rape me. So needless to say, I have a little bit of PTSD myself. And I get through it best whenever I'm not alone. I'm not gonna leave you alone Erwin."
I gave him a smile and proceeded to lay down patting the place beside me. This bed was plenty big enough for the both of us. He hesitated at first but then he laid down next to me. We turned to face each other and I laid my head upon his chest. In no time I was out like a light.
ERWIN'S POV
I woke the next morning with Addelyne in my arms. I still couldn't understand how she even wanted to be around me after I nearly killed her. I slowly got up out of the bed as not to disturb her and made my way out of the room and into my office. I was surprised to find Hange sitting in front of my desk. I sat down in front of her.
"Ah Commander good morning."
"What is it you are needing Hange?"
"Oh nothing. I just wanted to see how you were doing. Are you still having nightmares?"
"Yes. I hurt Addelyne last night. She went to wake me and I pinned her down in a chokehold. I tried to get her to leave for her own safety and she refused. We actually…slept in the same bed last night."
I could see Hange's expression light up for whatever reason.
"Did it help? You, sleeping with her?"
"Surprisingly yes. I had no nightmares. But I'm terrified I'm going to hurt her again."
"You need to relax Erwin. Be yourself around us. She may wear a uniform to blend in but she is not a soldier. We have a little over fifteen days until the expedition. Take this time and get to know her. She may be able to help you more than you think."
Hange slowly got up and made her way outside of the office. My thoughts drifted to the girl asleep in the other room. I made my way back into the room to see that she had just woke up and was now sat up in the bed. She turned to me and gave me a weak sleepy smile.
"Good morning.."
"Good morning Addelyne. Did you rest well?"
She nodded and I went to examine her neck. As expected there was a bruise there. She quickly grabbed my hand and sat me down on the bed next to her.
"Erwin I'm fine please stop fretting."
She then picked up my hand and laid it on her chest.
"You feel this. My heart is still beating. And as long as it's beating I am going to be alright."
ADDELYNE'S POV
I knew that he was still upset over what he had done the night before but I couldn't let that get him down. I didn't miss the blush on his face whenever I placed his hand on my chest. I smiled and then proceeded to get up leaving him there dumbfounded. I walked to the room I had found the other day and sat down in front of the piano that the small room contained. It was there that I began to play and sing.
"I've been reading books of old
The legends and the myths
Achilles and his gold
Hercules and his gifts
Spiderman's control
And Batman with his fists
And clearly I don't see myself upon that list
But she said, where'd you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?
I'm not looking for somebody
With some superhuman gifts
Some superhero
Some fairytale bliss
Just something I can turn to
Somebody I can kiss
I want something just like this
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo
Oh, I want something just like this
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo
Oh, I want something just like this
I want something just like this
I've been reading books of old
The legends and the myths
The testaments they told
The moon and its eclipse
And Superman unrolls
A suit before he lifts
But I'm not the kind of person that it fits
She said, where'd you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?
I'm not looking for somebody
With some superhuman gifts
Some superhero
Some fairytale bliss
Just something I can turn to
Somebody I can miss
I want something just like this
I want something just like this
Oh, I want something just like this
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo,
Oh, I want something just like this
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo,
Where'd you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?
I'm not looking for somebody
With some superhuman gifts
Some superhero
Some fairytale bliss
Just something I can turn to
Somebody I can kiss
I want something just like this
Oh, I want something just like this
Oh, I want something just like this
Oh, I want something just like this"
Once I played the final note I felt a sense of relief wash over me. It had been forever since I had played and it made me happy inside. I was startled, however, when a strong hand clamped down on my shoulder. I turned slowly to see it was Levi.
"Tch. Not bad brat. That was rather enjoyable. The commander is looking for you. Better go put him out of his misery."
I got up and walked past the short man but not before replying to his quirky comment.
"I may be a brat Levi but at least I'm not those cadets downstairs."
He turned and gave me a smirk.
"Damn straight. Now go."
I turned from him and walked into the direction of Erwin's office, passing Hange alone the way. She gave me a smile as I opened the door to his office. I walked in and immediately my jaw dropped. There in the middle of the room was a table with food and two candles on it. He walked out of his conjoined bedroom and smiled at me.
"Erwin what is this?"
"An apology. I know that you said you were fine but I still felt like I should do something."
He gestured to a seat and pulled it out for me. I went and sat and he slowly pushed me under the table. He sat on the other side and we began our meal. The food was amazing and I still couldn't believe that he had put this together for me. I couldn't help but smile at the thought while I ate. I looked up once I was about done to see Erwin holding out his hand. I looked up at him with a slight look of confusion.
"Dance with me."
"There's no music silly. But okay."
I took his hand and we danced back and forth to the invisible music that only we could hear. He pulled me closer to him as we swayed back and forth and in that moment, I was happy in his arms. I pulled back slightly to look up into his blue eyes. I saw an emotion in his eyes that I hadn't seen before.
"I have to be honest with you Addelyne. Last night when you told me to lay beside you I was terrified. I was so scared that I was going to hurt you again. But that was honestly the best night's sleep I have gotten in over a year. I don't want to make you uncomfortable but there is something I would like to ask you."
"Yes, you silly man. If having me near keeps the nightmares at bay then by all means I will sleep with you again. And every night that you need me for that matter."
He had a look of surprise in his eyes that quickly faded to one of joy. His eyes were mesmerizing. I felt like I could get lost in them. He slowly leaned in towards me and began to close his eyes. I closed mine and then our lips met in the gentlest of kisses. It felt like it lasted eternity and I was slightly disappointed whenever he pulled away.
"It's strange. I've only known you for a few days yet I feel as if I've known you for years."
I began to reply only to be interrupted by a knock on the door.
"Commander it's time to go give a speech to the new cadets."
He released me from his grip and let out a stray chuckle. I held out my hand to him hoping he would accept it.
"Shall we go?"
He nodded and took my hand in his and we made our way to the cadet training ground.