Butterflies

"Me? I'm nobody. I'm not skilled like Uchiha-san. I am not passionate like Haruno-san. I am not smart like Nara-san. I'm not as strong as Chouji-san. I'm not as collected as Aburame-san. Or as pretty as Yamanaka-san. I'm not as confident as Inuzuka-san. If anything, I'm like Hyuuga-san, socially awkward. Oh wait, no, she's just shy. The socially awkward one is me." OC! Team 7 remix!

Chapter 58 – Troublesome B(r)others

8-8

Back killing me, check. Bloated to the point of wanting to explode, check. Irritable, check. Okay, today's going to be fun. I untangle myself from Tsu and Haku –who've been sleeping in my bed for the past week, for some reason– and make my way to the bathroom. Yup, Shinigami's waterfall. It's a good thing we have nothing planned for today.

After flushing away the worst of that Kami-awful scent, I start washing up for the morning. Half way through washing up, Tsu and Haku join me. Haku's looking really annoyed, and halfway to snapping. Yup, we've synced. This is NOT going to be fun for anyone.

"Morning, Haku. I got mine too." I tell her. Ryuuzetsu winces and offers a sympathetic look, obviously knowing what I'm talking about. Hitomi joins us not a minute later. She's chipper, humming and generally glad to be alive. Then Haku and I glare at her. "Can it, 'Tomi."

"Ouch. That time again?" She asks, making a face to show she understands.

"Being a girl sucks!" I complain. Washing the last of the conditioner out of my hair.

8-8

There's a general consensus at breakfast – don't breathe too hard. The fun thing about living with a bunch of other females? Our cycles eventually sync. So, yeah. Yasu-nee, Maki, Haku, Minori, Hina-nee and I are this close to freaking out on anything – or just bursting out in tears for no reason. Whichever comes first at this point.

After breakfast, Yasu-nee calls all of us (just the bleeders) into the kitchen, making us some of that special tea and telling us a sad story so we can cry in peace.

It sounds too stupid to be true, but I'm glad I'm not alone in this.

-Oi, sis. We should make it to Konoha today. You mind meeting us at the gate? There's someone I want you to meet.- I groan. Naruto-nii, of all the days…

-Fine, but fair warning, I'm going to be a major brat today.- And so, life goes on. Blood or no, life goes on.

-That's alright. I'll treat you to some hot chocolate on the way to the Tower.-

-Kami-sama, I love you so bad sometimes.-

-Hmm, not bad. Let's go with that. From now on, I'll introduce myself as Kami-sama.- I find a goofy, lopsided grin on my face. I'm not sure how that even got there.

"What's with you?" Minori asks, curious why I'm like this when she knows how I usually am.

"Naru-nii's being an idiot. Nothing new." I say. Everyone rolls their eyes, knowing better than to get between me and Naru-nii – whether or not they can even follow the conversation. "He's en route home. Might arrive today."

"Well, he's in for a warm welcome." Minori teases, smirking a little. I try not to laugh. Ever deal with an Uzumaki on her period? Horror stories have been based on such events. Thank Kami-sama Karin, Akari-san and Asami haven't synced with us… yet. That would be…

I shiver. No. Let's not think about that, shall we.

"Anyway. I've got like a million things to deal with today." I say, thanking Yasu-nee for the tea and hugging her. Hugs for no reason are a reward in and of themselves.

8-8

I seem to be collecting shadows. Hitomi and Tsu have basically not let me leave the house alone once since they started shadowing me. Still, they're good company, so I don't mind too much. I told Hana that I'd report to Dragon today, since I have to head out anyway.

"Oi, non-Anbu aren't allowed in here!" Parrot tries. I glare at him.

"She's with me. She's good." I tell him, warning him only once not to test me today. I see Hitomi waving him off as well. No one else makes a stupid comment.

We report to Dragon's office, I make the report on Kakashi and the others, as well as update her on the situation with the Sand Trio – no change. "I'm glad you came." Dragon says, after I finish with the report. "The council finally cleared a check for the safe house." I'm handed a slip of paper, but I don't check the amount.

"Thanks." I nod, asking with my eyes if there'll be anything else.

"Dismissed." Dragon says. "And try to remember that not everyone cares what a girl goes through."

"If they don't care, then why should I care about how I react to them?" I counter, walking off and offering a lazy wave.

"Oh, Aya." I turn to her, wondering what she forgot to tell me. "Ryuuzetsu still hasn't registered as a kunoichi. Don't tell me you forgot?"

"No. I'm just not pushing for it. She's registered as a citizen. If she wants to apply as a kunoichi, all she has to do is ask."

"I understand. Ryuuzetsu. If you are interested, I've seen how well you keep up with these two. There might be an opening for you."

"Oh?" Tsu seems shocked. "But you haven't seen me do anything?"

"Che. That's what you think." Dragon takes off her mask.

"Ah. That makes sense." Tsu says, more than a little surprised. Yeah, Tsume's been by the house watching us spar. And really, Tsu isn't half bad. Neither is Shika-nii, but I can't imagine him ever joining Anbu – or even wanting to.

"Like I said." Dragon dons her mask once again. "There might be an opening. And I happen to know that Wolf doesn't have a trainee. You might get lucky enough to get into the only all-girl team Anbu's ever had."

"Medics?" I remind her of what I'm already dealing with.

"Doesn't count." Dragon counters. "Are you saying you wouldn't take her?"

"Of course I'm not saying that. I'm just a little surprised is all. It's not like I've been a member very long."

"And yet you've gotten the attention of some very influential people." Dragon counters. "Think about it, Ryuuzetsu. The offer stands."

8-8

Having dealt with that curveball, we head to the hospital. Sure, there are other places to restock on medical supplies, but nowhere that I trust the quality as much as Konoha General. And considering just how many medic wannabees I deal with, we end up burning through a LOT of supplies.

"Oi, Tsu, you never did tell me if you wanted to try your hand at medical jutsu." I say offhandedly. We mostly just pick up things by the box, so it's not like this is a very mentally draining task.

"Nn?" She thinks about that. "I dunno. I mean, I already have so much to work on, you know?"

"I know the feeling. Sometimes I wonder why my head doesn't just explode from all the stuff in jam in there." I say, going cross-eyed and making a face. They giggle.

"I dunno, though. I mean, would I even be any good at it?" She sounds uncertain.

"We won't know if you don't try. Back when I just became a genin, mom told me that it's better to be good at many little things, than great at one big thing." I say, smiling a bit at the memory. "Having tried it myself, I'd have to agree."

She thinks about that, taking a box from me and placing it on the counter where the nurse is already itemizing it. Picking up one last box –the eighth– we head over to the counter and strum up the usual this and that chitchat.

"What do you think? Should I try learning medical ninjutsu?" Tsu asks the man, a bit out of the blue.

"Hnn? Well, it can't hurt, if you ask me. I mean, even if you're no good at it, the chakra control exercises would benefit everyone. I'm actually surprised they don't teach simplified medical jutsus in the academy!"

"Yeah, uh huh. And who'd teach a bunch of snot nosed brats? You?" I remind him. It's not as if they haven't been trying to teach it, but no medic would be caught dead trying to teach something THAT delicate to a bunch of kid's with the attention span of a gerbil.

Our kids don't count. They know what's at stake when they try something – we make them aware of it.

"But what about my kenjutsu training? I mean, how many… wait. Nevermind. Practically everyone in the house that's a medic is also a badass kunoichi." Thank you! "Alright. I'll give it my all. We'll see where we end up." Hitomi and I smile at her, telling her she won't regret it.

8-8

After the hospital, we head into town to pick up the sealing supplies Minori demanded we get. Seeing as she and Haruki are still in charge of bringing the kids to school and back, she claims she doesn't have time to do it herself; she's just being lazy, but whatever. Still, she does give guest lectures on the Sealing Arts in the academy, to see if anyone there is interested in learning it. She comes back complaining each and every time.

Whatever. We go over the list she gave us, and I go over my own supplies, seeing if there was something I needed as well.

"I still can't believe how many specialties you guys focus on at once." Tsu says, awe in her voice. "I mean, I have enough trouble with what little I try to master."

"Meh." I shrug. "You get used to it after a while, I guess. And keep in mind, this doesn't even include any clan training we go through."

Tsu shakes her head, wondering how we manage. I shrug, it's not like I know either. We just… do.

After that we head into the outfitters. I pick up a box of kunai, a box of standard shuriken, and a box of caltrops. I go over my list again, wondering if I forgot anything… Ooh! Scimitars! Akari-san and Karin will need their own to start practicing. Especially since Naru-nii is coming home today! But… do Minori and Haruki have? I shrug, better too many than not enough. Besides, they're just beginners pieces, so they aren't too expensive.

"You know. I still feel horrible that you gave me your birthday present." Tsu tells me.

"I didn't give it to you. I borrowed it to you until you get your own." I correct, picking up four pairs of twin scimitars.

"Oh? So if I go order a custom blade right now…?" She narrows her eyes at me.

"You could. But wouldn't it make more sense to check the caches at home for something you like? I mean, we have more than enough tantos in there. If you can't find one, then… yeah. No reason not to custom order one."

"Yeah, but I already checked those caches."

"I know, I was there. But were you looking for a blade you like, or were you looking for a blade I would like for you?" I ask, eyeing her carefully.

"Well… both? Yes, I was constantly wondering if you'd like it too, but…" She admits sheepishly.

"Well, then you should custom order something. Go on, I come here all the time so I can tell you for a fact that this blacksmith offers quality every time." I shoo her, handing the scimitars to Hitomi, who's failing miserably at hiding her grin. "What?"

"Nothing." She tries, still grinning. "I… just love how you are with people." I shrug.

Having found everything I need, we make our way back to the counter, setting down everything we picked up.

"About that? Do you have any chakra conducting material that works well with fire release chakra?" Tsu asks.

"Sure. An alloy called dragon's blood. Comes out blood red most of the time, but I can temper it with something to change the colour. It's not cheap mind you, but… I'm sure it would serve you well."

"What other elements does that work well with?" I ask, hoping to help Tsu get all the information she can.

"Fire, lightning and wind. Most alloys work well with three elements, and almost every one of them works well with wind and lightning." He explains. I nod, understanding.

"Very well. I'd like twin tantos please. Double edged. About the length of my forearms. And another blade, the length of my arm. Could you make it the same style as the tantos?"

"No can do. That would weaken it. I can make it similar enough though. A blade called a chokutou. Straight blade, single edge." He offers.

"Hmm… do you have a sample blade I can compare it to?" He takes her deeper into the store, showing her what he's talking about. They even talk about lengths and how the alloy would compare weight wise. "Yes, this sheath is gorgeous! Do you think you could make something like this for me as well? For all three blades? Only, I'd want it to be green with white overtones."

"What shade of green?" He asks, nodding.

"The same shade as a flak jacket, if you can manage it."

"No problem. I've used that colour often enough. Did you want them with or without the hilt?"

"Without please. Those things only seem good for getting in my way." She says, shrugging with a smirk. I can't say I blame her. I have no idea why anyone wants a blade with a hilt. "Ooh! And can you make the grip fade into the sheath? Like their one piece when the blade is sheathed?"

"Not a problem. How do you want me to work in that white overtone though? Camouflage style?"

"Hmm… no." She shakes her head to accentuate her no. "Could you work it in like a spiral going around the grip and sheath? Spiralling downwards to the tip?"

"… Grass style blade huh? Sure. I've worked with that before. Did you want the tip of the sheath to twist off too?"

"On the chokutou, yes. It wouldn't make much sense on the tantos. Thank you so much!" Tsu bows to the man. I'm not sure if it's because he knows she's from Grass and doesn't care, or if it's because he's so agreeable. Either way is fine. This man has always produced awesome pieces.

"Under what name?"

"Ryuuzetsu." She answers, smiling.

"I only work with family names." He points out. "Too much hassle if someone with a similar name comes in."

"I see." She deflates, for some reason.

"Under Namiki." I answer. The man nods, jotting that down on his notepad. Tsu looks at me, questions in her eyes. "No, you haven't been adopted, Tsu." She giggles at that. "But for simple things like ordering a blade, I won't make a big deal out of it."

"Thank you." She smiles. The blacksmith tallies up our purchases, tells me the total, and I pay.

Just in time, too. -Oi. We should be at the gate in like ten minutes. Trust me, you want to be there, sis.-

-Yeah, yeah. I'm coming.-

8-8

Hitomi, Tsu and I are at the gate in five minutes. That means we, once again, have time to spare. Oh well.

"Why didn't you want to tell him your family name?" I ask.

"I don't have one. My… parents were orphans. So…" Her eyes are watery again, and hold great pain. Thinking about her father still hurts. It's barely been more than a week, so I can't say I blame her. Frankly, I think she's holding it together pretty good, all things considered.

"Ah… sorry. We'll work something out." She looks at me funny, almost forgetting she's on the verge of tears. "What? I'm not promising anything, but I don't like people not having a sense of family. And not having a family name counts."

"Th-thanks." She says, trying to covertly wipe the tears from her eyes. I pretend like I don't notice, but I do offer her my brightest smile.

Hitomi and I start talking about bird feathers after that – for some reason. I have no idea why. At all. I don't really know a whole lot about birds, let alone their feathers. When I tell her so, she glares at me and is clearly wondering what's wrong with me.

"What? I don't have enough to study? I need to learn the ins and outs of birds too?" I ask, huffing indignantly. She just shakes her head, clearly put out.

"Pay attention. Birds can tell us more than you think." And so, she literally begins lecturing Tsu and I on birds. Just birds. Not symbolically, not as a euphemism, not as kind of hidden message. Just birds. Some people have the weirdest hobbies.

-I smell you. Please hurry, Hitmoi here is talking my ear off about birds!-

-You mean the birds and the bees?-

-Nope. No bees. Just birds.-

-O…kay? Who's Hitomi?-

-You're not the only one making new friends, you know. Hurry the heck up! My brain can only take in so much useless information per day.- Today especially.

-Alright, alright! Hold your birdies.- He teases. I groan.

"Naruto again?" Tsu asks, her eyes narrowing.

"Yup." I chi…rp… sigh. Too much useless information. It's not helping me. At all. "I always attract idiots. Thank Kami-sama you two didn't follow that pattern."

"I was about to ask." Hitomi says, annoyed. "And are you even listening to me?"

"Hawks are birds of prey?"

"I was talking about falcons!"

"Also birds of prey?" Hey, I wasn't far off! She glares, before resuming her lecture on falcons – apparently.

8-8

It's another ten minutes –ten minutes out, my foot!– before I see Naru-nii and co in the distance. Since Hitomi figured out that I was zoning out, she started asking me –ME!– questions to test if I'm paying attention.

Of course, that means that I, being a proud nerd and overall intellectual, have been absorbing information I will NEVER, EVER, E~EEEEEEEEEEEEVER need ever again during the course of my life. It's better than focusing on gross things, don't get me wrong. But, facts don't change because the contrast is less unappealing.

After spotting them, it's still a good fifteen minutes before they make it to the gate. I recognize Naruto-nii and Asami-nee immediately, of course. Jiraiya I'm less familiar with, but I've seen him once or twice so I recognize him easily enough. The tall blonde with them and the short(ish) brunette? Meh.

Why is the brunette carrying a pig? And why is that pig wearing a necklace? A PEARL necklace! Okay, I'm obviously not the only one finding weird new friends.

"That's…!" Hitomi FINALLY shuts up about her birds. "That's Senju Tsunade!" Oh? Is that so? Okay.

"They better hurry up! Naru-nii promised me hot chocolate!" I complain. I really need some chocolate right now!

"Wow. Only you could be so casual about meeting a legend."

I've met Jiraiya. I wasn't impressed. Legends never seem to prove all they're cracked up to be. "She's a medic, she's skilled. She's also very human. Try to remember that when everyone grovels at her feet." I say, not caring.

The group walks up to the gate, waves at the two chuunin, and walks through. Well, that's a relief. "Naru-nii. Hugs. Chocolate. In that order please." I demand. He grins, obviously happy to see me too. He's quick to wrap his arms around me, telling me how good it is to see me again. "I missed you too. Kami-sama, you have no idea how much crap you missed around here. I didn't want to bog you down on a mission, but… jeez! Anyway, Uzumaki Naruto, Sarutobi Asami… please meet Hyuuga Hitomi and Ryuuzetsu. 'Tomi, Tsu, the blond idiot is the infamous Naru-nii you've heard me griping about. The redhead is Sasa-nee."

"Oi! What about me! You know who I am!" Jiraiya complains.

"Yeah. Are you sure you want to be introduced to two MORE females by Naru-nii's nickname for you?" I remind him.

"… Name's Jiraiya the gallant." He tries starting up his stupid little jig. I completely ignore him.

"Anyway. Senju Tsunade-san I know. You are likely to be… Katou Shizune-san. Am I right?"

"…Why, yes. It's a pleasure to meet you, miss…?" Katou-san asks, pleased that I know her name and not just Senju-san's.

"Namiki Aya. Well, now that everyone's introduced. Chocolate. Let's go, blondie. No more excuses." I tug him along, whether he wants me to or not.

"O-oi! Sis! You're missing the biggest part. Granny's the Fifth Hokage!" He announces. I look to the elder blonde that looks amused and annoyed – mostly annoyed. I shrug.

"Okay. But that doesn't get chocolate in my stomach. Let's go!"

8-8

"Jeez. You really needed that, huh." Naru-nii pets my hair. I don't care. Hot chocolate and a brownie always do an Aya good.

"Hey, Aya-chan, these are really good." Tsu announces, happily munching on a brownie of her own. I couldn't agree more. In fact, they're so good that Hitomi isn't talking about birds!

"So anyway, like I was telling you. Granny Tsunade is the Fifth! We were sent on a mission to retrieve the Fifth Hokage!" Naru-nii brags.

"I'm amazed you didn't brag about that the whole time you were on your mission." I tease.

"You think they even know we're here?" Senju-san wonders out loud.

"They know. Aya just doesn't care, and everyone tends to follow her lead." Jiraiya says, obviously feeling the need to add his two Ryou.

"And Aya's hearing is in perfect working order." I point out, then drown them out by sipping my hot chocolate. "Hey, Tsu, you make up your mind on the whole kunoichi thing? I mean, we're going to the tower anyway."

"Hmm… Well, I see no reason not to, really. Everyone other than Yasu-san is a shinobi."

"That's a horrible reason, you know." I point out.

"Aw, don't be like that, Aya. You know my reasons are better than that. I just don't want to talk about it in front of unknowns." Tsu points out.

"I can respect that. Alright. We'll get the paperwork done. They're probably going to want to run you through some overly basic tests, but let me do the talking. And whatever you do, don't ask about that guy's left eye. He's really touchy about it." I tease. There's absolutely nothing wrong with the man's left eye, of course. But now she's going to be staring at it to figure that out for herself.

"His left eye?" Tsu looks curious. That's called bait. And now, you've taken it. Yea, me!

"Yup. Oh, and don't stare at it either, okay? Seriously. He'll notice." I bait her further.

"Shizune, why don't you go with them? I get the feeling you'll be far more entertained with them than the boring meetings they'll want me in." Senju-san suggests.

I turn, eyeing the brunette carefully. "Aya, it's fine. It's not like a fellow medic would ever hurt you." Hitmoi points out.

"Really. So I wouldn't hurt anyone because I'm a medic." I drone.

"… I mean OTHER medics. You and Hana are kind of in a class of your own there." 'Tomi tries. I just roll my eyes. A medic that can't fight? Psh, yeah right!

8-8

Unfortunately for the man behind the counter, Tsu is… really subtle about trying to see his left eye. I see her look at the back of her hands a few times, trying to figure out if she's just mixing up right and left, or something. Still, he continues asking questions about this –why register as a shinobi a week after writing in as a citizen (obviously because she needed time to see if the village was worth dying for)– and about that, and the other, just to be sure.

The only problem is, he's a chuunin. He knows she's trying to look at something, but he just can't figure out what – and it's obviously getting under his skin. Once he's satisfied that she is indeed genin material –I'd threatened to call Dragon in here if he doubts her, he wisely declines– he offers her the forms she needs to fill in. And I'm handed forms as well – to vouch for her loyalty to Konoha. It's kind of a catch twenty-two. Loyalty on paper is worthless, but by having me sign that she's loyal, I can be held accountable if she proves otherwise – thereby indirectly keeping her loyal as to not make me suffer for it. It's shinobi logic; or so I'm told.

Once the forms are filled in, the man goes over them. Tsu is once again trying to figure out what the heck is up with his left eye. She figures he won't notice because he's busy – the perfect opportunity. He notices. And it is, once again, really unnerving him.

"Something on my face?" He asks.

"No!" Tsu answers a little too quickly. "Nothing on your face at all!" I'm dying to laugh, but I can't! He glances at me, but I'm quick to look away. Hitomi's learned not to get between me and my fun, so she's not getting involved – she lives with Uzumakis now too!

"Hnn." He goes back to the forms, she goes back to trying to figure out what's with the eye.

Then Naruto-nii decides he wants in on the fun. "You know, sis. I've been thinking about that song you told me about? Eye of the tiger?"

I choke – not quite catching the laugh in time. Poor Tsu looks embarrassed for the man.

"Naruto-san! That isn't very nice! There's nothing wrong with his eye!" She chastises him. That almost sends me to my knees with laughter.

It clicks for him, unfortunately. "My eye? What's wrong with my eye?" The man asks, clearly worrying.

"Nothing!" Tsu, again, answers him too quickly. "There's nothing wrong with it."

"Oi, kid. Something wrong with my eye?" He turns to Naruto, but he's too busy wheezing with laughter. "I'll take that as a yes. Oi, Shinji! What's wrong with my eye?" The man heads into the back, confused – he clearly doesn't feel anything wrong, but there must be! Two kids are laughing about it, and the more sensitive one is defending him!

"Aya-chan. What is wrong with his eye? I really couldn't tell at all." Tsu asks, distressed. Naru-nii peels with laughter, and I'm clutching my poor belly – cramps, bloating and now laughing my ass off too boot! Seriously, OWWWWWW!

"Hey, hey. Seriously. What's wrong with my eye? My colleague says she can't see anything and she refuses to take a closer look." The man is back. He's sooo going to develop a complex about this. I can't take it… I can't take anymore! I stumble out of the room, holding my poor tummy as go.

8-8

"Sis. That. Was. EPIC!" Naru-nii is on me the second I get outside. He's still cackling with laughter, patting poor Tsu on the back, who can't make sense of any of this.

Katou-san joins us outside a minute or two later. "Well, I have to thank you two for that. I have a date with him tonight. First day back, already raking in the guys." She says, blushing happily. I shrug. That wasn't the intention, but if she's happy with it? I say, go for it.

"… You tricked me." Tsu catches on. "You set me up. You totally set me up!" She's shocked, but laughing about it now that she understands the whole story. "Oh my Kami-sama, you are such a bad influence on her, Naruto-san!"

"Me!? I just got here!" Nii-san points out, all hurt innocence.

"Anyway. I really have to ask. You guys are Anbu. Aren't you." Katou-san makes a mess of things. The laughter dies instantly, our faces are as if set in stone. "I thought so. I'll be Tsunade-sama's assistant, I'm going to know all of your files regardless."

"Ah. That makes sense." I say, shrugging. "Why are you asking though? I mean, I'm sure you'll find out quick enough."

"Well, I kind of need someone to help me arrange things in the coming days. And I happen to know that Anbu Operatives tend to know how things work better than most." She explains seriously.

"Sasa-nee?"

"Oh, no! I just got back! Forget it!" She begs off immediately. "Next week maybe, but now? Not a chance!" Wow, she's REALLY vocal about this. It must be too much exposure to Jiraiya.

"I'm already busy." I say flatly. "So is Hitomi. Your only bet is Naru-nii, but…"

"I don't mind. I can always catch up with everyone at dinner." Naru-nii says. "But, sis… we could really use your help, you know?"

"And I could use a winning lottery ticket. We can't all…" He's begging me with his eyes again. "That's low." The begging intensifies. "Naru-nii~iiiiii! Cut that out will you! I've still got like a million things to do!"

"Sis, you find things to do. That isn't something new."

I huff. "Fine! But you're sending a clone to the den to ask mom to come to wherever we are to collect the things I bought! I have some food stuff, so you better be quick about it too!"

8-8

And so. Here we are. In the Hokage's office. Why? Because that's where we need to be. Naruto-nii explains Katou-san the simpler things like which drawers have hidden compartments, and which window is the most commonly open – due to security measures and whatnot. Of course, he has no idea how things are actually run, just how the seem to be done.

"Katou-san. There's usually a secretary stationed at the desk outside. All paperwork meant to reach the Hokage must pass through that person. The current secretary is a Honda Hiromi. She's a bit lazy and doesn't really do her job right – seeing as she's supposed to stop any and all persons from coming inside without an appointment or special permission. Still, she does the paperwork right, so she's lasted far longer than the others – usually you see a new secretary every three to four months." I explain.

"The paperwork is ninety percent junk that can be thrown away, if you keep your ears to the rumour mill. The trouble is that people don't like tell the Hokage or anyone that works for… well, her in this case, anything about the rumours unless it's vital to something they value. In which case, they file a report and wait for the result. That means that you, the assistant, will have your work cut out for you. You'll have to build strong ties to the jounins especially, seeing as they pick up rumours like I pick up chocolate. This is also important because if the jounins feel a close bond with the Hokage's assistant, they have this weird tendency to feel closer to the Hokage herself."

"… I see." Katou-san murmurs, feeling a bit overwhelmed.

"How do you know all of that?" Naru-nii asks me.

"Easy. Get a jounin stumbling drunk in a setting they trust and they'll tell you their mother's bank access codes. It helps if they trust you though, or feel like they owe you." I grin evilly. Mitarashi-san is sooooooo helpful when it comes to the latest news.

"You… are the Shinigami incarnate." Naru-nii intones. I shrug, not denying it. Being evil has its perks. Then his face almost splits in two from a grin. "Geez, I've missed being home!"

"Hmm? Say, Aya-chan… you wouldn't happen to want the position, do you? As secretary?" Katou-san tries.

"No. Not even remotely." I shoot her down. "And like I said, I'm already too busy. I have a mission I need to focus on. And that's completely ignoring the Anbu medics I'm helping to train, Tsu here that will end up being my trainee, my pack I'm helping to train, the wolves I train with, my own training, and the eight patients holed up in my house I'm helping to rehabilitate. Frankly, I don't need more to do. Oh! That does remind me that we need to talk to Dragon either later today or tomorrow about making your traineeship official. You see what I mean! I'm already too busy for this crap!"

The door opens without warning and in comes Dragon, Senju-san, Jiraiya, and the two ghouls.

"Oi, Dragon. Glad you're here. I was just talking about you. Remember that traineeship you offered? Well, they're in!" I offer.

"Good. Give them your old mask. It's a right of passage, after all. And be sure you start work them into the ground day in, day out. Any mission you get automatically includes them. And do not, under any circumstances, tell them the secret code. That's only after you're full Anbu." I nod, smirking. There is no secret code. At least, not one that I know. I don't care either way though.

"You got it. Oh, and do me a favour. Explain to Katou-san here that I'm not ever taking that secretary position." Seriously! Putting a wolf to guard a door? What's the world coming to!?

"Hnn? Why would she ask you about that? You've already got a B-rank going on!" Dragon gets on Katou-san's case.

"That's what I said. Not to mention the patients, the medics, trying to pretend I have a social life. Psh. Sorry, but until I can perform the shadow clone, there's no way I'm going to be able to handle an intensive job like that on top of everything else!" I complain.

"You have a social life?" Dragon teases.

"Someone's in a good mood." I snipe.

"You train medics?" Senju-san asks, curious.

"Not in the way you think. I'm trying to round them out so they'll survive. We have far too few!" I complain. "I mean, it was just ridiculous during the invasion! Four medics to what… forty Anbu? That's insane! Thank Kami-sama I've been working on the stamina of the other two, and we have three trainees now that are all up to scratch. Oh, Dragon, before I forget. That trainee might be interested in medical jutsu. I know you hate not knowing details like that. I haven't tested them in that, but I'll let you know. There's no formal training as yet, but I think there's potential. And while we're on the subject. Senju-san, as a medic, I'm sure you can understand the added value of introducing extra chakra control exercises while still in the academy. It's not impossible for academy students to start on medical jutsu. In fact, I have two students already working their way up to Rank Two medics, and another three on Rank One. That's ignoring their other trainings, which have only benefitted from that training. And why haven't we introduced weapons training? I mean, I have a five year old that's already holding her own against full genin! You need to look into that."

"And that's ignoring inadequate sealing classes in the academy, and the utter disrespect shown by not teaching about the Uzumaki clan. I mean, really? How would you feel if they left out the Senju clan in the academy?" I babble on like a headless chicken. But I'm making good points, so I don't mind. "And don't get me started on the complete lack of proper education for girls. I mean, flower arranging? Do you know how many times I've had to care about flower arrangements since I graduated? Not once. Why not switch a completely useless class out for mandatory basic first aid? Even if the girls don't become kunoichi, knowing first aid is ALWAYS a boon. And having someone make sure that it really is a woman talking to the girls about Sex Ed? Do you know how weird it was to have a guy start talking about there? I'm pretty sure I'm not the only girl that snuck out."

Ooh! I've made enough good points to earn myself some chocolate. I unseal a bar, and start happily munching away.

"… I'm starting to understand why Shizune wants you to be the secretary." Senju-san murmurs, rubbing the side of her face for some reason.

"Mm. Tempting, but like Dragon already fully agreed with me on, I have too much going on. So, unless you know some kind of weird magic that lets me be in six places at once, that just won't work. And that's ignoring the fact that I don't want the position."

There's a knock on the door and someone just strolls in. Some random chuunin. "Oi! You notice something wrong with this picture!? This is called a meeting! OUT!" I chase him out. Poor guy stutters out an apology and slams the door as he leaves.

"So anyway, Dragon. I'm thinking of asking you to set up a survival test for those two medics. Give them a person they need to protect and like three or four days against Snake in Tee Gee Forty-four. There's no way I'm going through that crap again like what happened during the invasion."

"Hmm. I'll make the arrangements." Dragon says, nodding. "What about if we give them a puppy? Something they can grow emotionally attached to that they absolutely HAVE to take care of while in there?"

"That would work. Medics have an ingrained need to protect the defenceless. Just bear in mind that even if the puppy survives, the emotional bond will become too strong for them to willingly give it up afterwards. And limit Snake to a max of B-ranks. I can tell you right now that those two won't last that long if Snake gets even half serious." I say.

"That's… troubling. Yes, Snake is good, but… they need to survive in the worst conditions." Dragon says, not liking that assessment.

"I understand, but I'm not a miracle worker. That's why I want that trainee in medical jutsu. Between them and Penguin? We can train better medics that have a much better chance of survival. I don't want or like that crap about how the weaker Anbu need to become medics, that's why we have so few to begin with. It's seen as a sign of weakness, and Anbu respect nothing weak. To boot, because it's actually true, the only two current licensed medics that I could trust to hold out against Snake are me and Salamander. That's complete crap! Medics should be able to survive against the worst of them. I mean, if we fall? Who they heck is going to keep the rest of the team alive?"

"What about Penguin and this new trainee's mental stability? Medics aren't know to thrive in Anbu." Senju-san asks.

"Well, Anbu medics run on a different wavelength than standard medics. So you can't compare the two. They need to be permitted into Anbu first, and sometimes only after that do they start their medical training. But because of that, we're put in a position where we can't follow the usual training regimen and the medic training regimen at the same time. That's why they're either subpar as medics and get their patients killed, or are subpar combatants and get themselves killed." I explain.

"How do you know that?" Dragon asks.

"Salamander is nothing if not thorough. I've been bugging her about what's been going wrong so that we'll know how to fix it." I explain seriously. "The lessons we've learned from past mistakes are being integrated into the training regimen we have those two medics on, and the trainees. This way the problem will sort itself out. I would also advise that at the very least self-healing jutsus be added to the mainstream training regimen, because frankly if it's simple cuts and bruises, it's a waste of chakra for a medic when there are spinal injuries and traumatic blood loss patients present. It could save time, blood, and give the Ops on solo missions a greater chance of survival."

"Self-healing jutsus?" Dragon asks, looking to Senju-san.

"Don't worry, Dragon. I'll hook you up. You can expect two scrolls detailing some simpler ones when Salamander reports in tomorrow. Seriously, it would turn already badass Ops into forces to be reckoned with." I tease, just a little. "But I'll warn you right now, if your chakra control isn't razor sharp, you won't be able to cast those jutsus. That's why I'm pushing for those chakra control exercises to start in the academy. If left up to the jounin-sensei, you'll end up with Kakashi-syndrome cases, and it just won't ever get done."

The elders frown at that, obviously not liking that particular habit. "We can't risk those exercises becoming public knowledge." Senju-san reasons.

"Why not? Did you know that the reason Cloud is still on top, is because they train each of their academy students like we train fresh genin? Even if they don't make the cut, they'll have developed wonderfully. That means that even if they are civilian, and they have civilian babies, those supposed civilian babies would be shinobi level at birth. By babying our civilians, we weaken the next generation. And on top of that, they simply do not understand what we as shinobi go through. That's why shinobi-civilian relationships are nearly unheard of, let alone the lack of research into stillborns from such unions… usually only occurring when the woman is civilian born, might I add. There's something interesting in that statistic."

"Just what rank are you?" Senju-san asks.

"Medic Rank Six, bordering on Seven. If that's what you mean." I offer, taking a nibble from my chocolate. I love me some chocolate.

"And your other ranks?" She is doubly curious about this, it seems.

"Sealing Rank Four, mostly in medical seals, but I have some knowledge of trap, suppression and storage seals. Sound release doesn't have a regulated rank system, but I'm about… low jounin level, I guess?" I look to Naru-nii, but he just shrugs and obviously has no idea how to rank me. "About there. Earth release I'm certainly low jounin. Interrogation… I think Ibiki said I'm Rank five? I'm not sure I believe him, but… Genjutsu I'm mid jounin, and anything below B rank I can do seallessly. Taijutsu… I'm not sure about. I should be high chuunin, but I use it so little these days that it's hard for me to pinpoint. Kenjutsu I'm most definitely high chuunin, but mid jounin if I throw in my sound release. And let's see… Sensory jutsu… I want to say low jounin, but… frankly I train against Pig and Snake. That wrecks havoc on my confidence."

"… And your martial rank?"

"Oh. Sorry, still a genin."

"WHAT!?"

"Hey, don't look at me! I participated in the last chuunin exams. I'm just waiting on you for a pass." I point out.

"How… when did you graduate from the academy?" Senju-san asks. Oh she'll get a kick out of this.

"This last chuunin exams was the first one I was eligible for." I smirk, enjoying that she's trying to pick her chin up off the floor. "If it makes you feel better, Naru-nii is better than I am, and he was dead last of our graduating class."

"Oi! Keep me out of this!"

"You guys do it to me all the time! Now keep quiet, we're discussing important matters." I order. He rolls his eyes, but pipes down. "… Was there anything else I needed to say…?"

"While you're thinking about that. What is this mission you keep telling me about?" Senju-san asks.

"Oh that? Well, I'm to guard the Sand Trio. The previous Kazekage's children. One of which is supposed to be engaged to Nara Shikamaru, but I'm glad that got tossed out on its ear. Another is a puppeteer. And the last is the jinchuuriki to the One-tail… Shukaku, I think he called it."

"…And why aren't you guarding them?" She asks, an eyebrow suspiciously high.

"Because the best way to guard someone is to make them understand that you are in the position of power. They understand the situation, and they've vowed not to be brats about it and some other things I don't feel like telling you." I explain vaguely. "The problem isn't guarding them, it's rehabilitating them. Temari is too proud to get out of her own way. So I have to break her down slowly and help build her up properly. Kankuro thinks he's the daimyo of Wind, but he's mellowing out bit by bit. And Gaara… the jinchuuriki… he's… he's the on that needs the most work. He's still trying to learn to fall asleep, because his seal was faulty and couldn't sleep without unleashing the One-tail. He was shunned and hated because of that. That means he's socially stunted, shy and unsure how to even deal with the world. They trust me enough to let me help them – even if they don't realise it. Which is why the council allowed for me to take them to begin with."

"Why do you leave out the other one?" The she-elder asks.

"Oh, right. Fuu of the Seven-tails. Yeah. She's mostly good on her own. She's right at home with us. So there's little for me to say about that. She's already been introduced to Konoha proper. The stall-workers at the market know her by name. She feels right at home in Konoha. Honestly, if you could smooth the deal with Waterfall, you could slap a Leaf headband on her. She's a half decent medic too. Could use some work on the basics, but definitely won't let her comrades die on a mission. I've been introducing her to the Aburame clansmen too, seeing as they have a common fascination with insects. The clan heir, Aburame Shino, and her get along quite well."

"She would die for Konoha?" The she-elder asks, not buying it.

"No. But she would die for my pack. We all know who and what she is. And not one of us cares." I explain seriously. "A respect you might learn for jinchuurikis, might I add."

"Hmm, what about the Uzumakis in your care then?" The he-elder asks.

"Uzumakis?" Senju-san asks, shocked.

"Nn. Not in my care per se. But yeah. Akari, Karin, Minori, Haruki, and the two adopted Uzumakis Udon and Moegi. Akari-san is barely with us a week. I can't say much about her. Karin is turning into a decent medic, easily Rank Four. Minori is… amazing. She's not worth her salt as a medic, but in sealing and what she's been picking up from me in sound release? I'd trust her to watch my back in a fight. Haruki is more the medic. He's only a Rank Two for now, but he's gaining ground all the time. He also has the mindset of a medic, and that counts for a lot. Udon is… harder for me to gauge. He's better at sealing, but more offensive sealing and that's just not something I know anything about. He's good with his twin scimitars though. Good enough that I enjoy sparring with him. Moegi is exactly the opposite. She's the better medic, but she isn't half bad in sealing. I think she's a Rank Three medic and a Rank Two in seals. She's also decent with her twin scimitars, but… she's still a bit stiff. Both Moegi and Udon are academy students, by the way."

Why is this about my pack? Why did I let this go this route? "I see. And the Yukis?"

"I couldn't say. I only train them in medical jutsu. Haku's Rank Four, at least. Aomaru's… Rank Two, I think?" I offer, half hoping to get off this topic.

"You're a genin, and you're entrusted with so much? Sensei had faith in you." Senju-san says. Oh, you have no idea.

"And what of the last three? The Namikis?" The she-elder presses.

I glare this time. Taking a bit of my chocolate. "Irrelevant. You're now asking for me to reveal secret jutsu information that I will not reveal."

"Wait, hold on! Namikis? Miwako was the last, and you're her only child." Senju-san is confused.

"I adopted. Yasu, who is and will remain a civilian. Katsuo, who's in the academy. He's been with us since the invasion, so there has been little progress. And Sakiko. She's joining the academy next fall."

"I see. Would you trust me with that information if we were to discuss it privately?" Senju-san asks.

"That information is irrelevant until they become genin. I only revealed Udon and Moegi because they are ready to take the exams now if they so choose." I explain seriously.

-Aya. I need you to start looking into something, stat. Extraction of a person not currently on the summoning roster.-

-I'll talk to Asami asap. We'll come up with something.- I glance at Naruto-nii, who makes a shadow clone.

"Ladies, guy, and Jiraiya. If that's all the dancing and entertaining you need, we really must be off. Much to do, much to do. And by the way… why isn't daddy in this meeting? Wouldn't it make much more sense for your Jounin Commander to be here as well?"

There's a knock on the door. "I was waiting for you to stop yapping without a privacy jutsu in place. Really, princess. Don't you know how to cast one?" I blush furiously. "Figures. I'll teach you one tonight. Now run along."

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End Chapter 58

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A/N: Anyone notice how the Hyuuga sisters weren't discussed? Heh. Mess with Hiashi's daughters? I think not!