Dim light illuminates the room. It's been several hours since the sun left the horizon. The quivering light paints the opposing faces in a faint orange. The people facing each other keep quiet – none of them wants to disturb the peace that settled some time ago. The male sighs before finally addressing the matter at hand, "Nayuki, today's afternoon you said a few things I would like to correct. First of all, I too believe that you can only achieve your full potential if you aim to protect. This concept I'd apply to family and clan. I don't know if you'd include the healer that saved your life into this concept and if I'm honest – I don't care. However, I do have to argue with your vision of peace. If there is something I'm undeniably sure of, it is the fact this world won't ever find peace. There is no way our clan will ever be able to forgive the horrendous crimes committed against us by the Uchiha-clan and its allies. It's not only the Uchiha-clan that wronged us, but several other minor clans too. The Uchiha-clan is simply our strongest opponent. They do not know any qualm. They kill our children without second thoughts and we act accordingly. Even if we do stop killing children the Uchiha won't stop and we give a new generation of potential strong enemies a chance to kill us in the future. There is no way that I'll ever forgive their crimes." Butsuma pulls his hands into fist while grapping his trousers.

Nayuki looks at her husband sadly. She knew that he fell into the circle of hatred. Looking at Butsuma she senses his own personal history behind his harsh words. Silently she contemplates about asking his history and listening to his whole point of view before giving him an overview of her point. There is always the possibility that he is more willing to listen to her if he knows that she is aware of his past. Upon deciding that she'll try to ask him about his past she looks back into his eyes. Silently she asks him, "I'd like to tell to shove it but I know that there is a reason behind your way of thinking. Without any knowledge of your past it's hard for me to understand your reasoning. Would you share your past with me so that I can understand your point of view better? I don't want to tell you my opinion without knowing your past. I myself have lost many in the past but I'd like to know your history first…" Butsuma thinks about her request for a few seconds. His past is something he'd like to never ever think about again. His wife's request brings out memories full of pain … He gulps down the lump that built inside his throat. Once again he gives his wife a critical eye before sighing.

"Alright, I'll tell you a few things, but you'll have to share your own stories with me", he tells her almost whispering, "When I was still a kid I had three siblings – two brothers and a sister. My brothers were older while my sister was younger. I did love them dearly. We were inseparable. We brothers took care of our little sister. Her smile was akin to a sunrise." Butsuma takes a short pause. He can still see her smiling at him. He remembers his brothers and himself running after her and taking care of her every need and doing everything to make her smile. While he lingers with his own thoughts, Nayuki observes him carefully. His face doesn't betray any emotions except for his eyes. They shine in nostalgia of the lost happiness.

After another few seconds he coughs awkwardly before continuing his tale, "I could have gone on like this forever. We were taking care of each other. Laughing and playing with each other. We nearly forgot about the dangers of our time by being with each other. However, we were reminded of it again when the Hagoromo-clan attacked our compound directly. We were playing hide and seek when the alarm went off. We didn't even realize what had happened until invading shinobi had already put a kunai through our little sisters throat. My brothers and I were saved by some of our kinsmen, but by then my oldest brother had already taken a lot of damage to protect us. None of us had been on missions until then. We were still too young to fight, but not to die – you're never too young to die in war."

The bitterness in his voice urges Nayuki to get up and sit down next to him. She pulls her lover into a bone crushing hug and kisses him once, before letting him continue. She observed his expression earlier and once again you could only read his pain in his eyes. Those however, show his emotional pain quite accurately. Her train of thought is interrupted when he continues his story, "The attacking force was overwhelming back then and we had to flee to one of our minor compounds. When we got there our numbers had dropped considerably. Not only did we lose our sister, but our mother, aunt and three uncles. Our father was critically hurt as was my oldest brother. It took weeks for our father to heal, but he did it unlike our brother. He died as an aftermath of this attack.

Within three weeks my whole world had changed. The loss of my family members and the change in our training regime made sure of that. My last brother and I no longer trained every second day, no, we trained every day until we fell unconscious. We trained like that for years until my brother was old enough for his first mission. Then I was left alone with my training. Sure my brother trained with me every time he could arrange it, but that wasn't that often. He was the clan heir and had a clan to represent. Therefore, he had to take on a lot missions. I would have never admitted it but I was lonely and felt kind of forgotten. It's not my brothers fault but the whole situation pained me terrible. Anyway, afterwards it didn't take that long for me to take on my first mission – another significant change in my life. On one of my first missions I met Tajima for the first time. He was such a cocky opponent back then, I won't say he has changed much, but today he behaves fitting of a clan head.

His strength, sharingan and strategically mind were always his strong points. From the very beginning we were set up to fight each other and tried to best the other in fights till the bitter end. In one of these fights, I guess I was 18 years old, my last brother died on the battlefield. I can still see Tajimas katana stabbing through my brothers back. I stood behind my brother when Tajima attacked and all I could do was watch as my brother was run through with our enemy's weapon. I can hear his blood freezing scream as he was run through. It was the last time I heard my brother voice. He took him, my last brother. My most important brother, the one I told everything, the one that was always there for me even if he had to disobey our monster of a father. He was gone. Simply gone. His bleeding corpse lying in my arms as Tajima laughed at my pain.

There was no grave as we had to leave the corpses behind and my father decided that we don't need empty graves. I was furious but powerless. I had to endure and keep silent. It didn't take a full year for him to die and suddenly I was clan head. Thrust into a position of responsibility without the needed training and a political marriage coming around the corner. I didn't have the freedom to chose my first wife, but let's be real in our times there isn't any clan head that chose his first wife on his own. Political marriages are the only way to secure alliances. The alliance with her clan has long since crumbled. Even her living in our compound didn't stop them from betraying us. Well, when she died you already know…", Butsuma concludes his short history. The pain of his memories very evident in his unseeing eyes….

Nayuki observes her husband for some time until she realizes that his eyes are filled with unspilled tears. She pulls him into a hug – an awkward hug at that because Butsuma simply stiffens but doesn't react to her any further. Slowly she runs her hand in circled motions over his back urging him to this much needed moment of weakness. Even if he doesn't let his tears fall like she hoped to take the pressure and pain away he relaxes into her comforting embrace. Butsuma takes some moments so gather his thoughts again before asking his wife about her history. The unknown history he doesn't know of. A knowledge that could turn the entire situation around at once, sure he trusts her with his entire being but if she were to be a child of an enemy clan he had to dispose of her – coldblooded. Not that she would tell him anyway, she would have to be rather stupid if she were to admit that she is his enemy. But at least she couldn't run away anymore from telling him more about herself, giving him information that is much needed.

After a long suffering sigh Nayuki begins to stare into the air. The silence between stretches and Nayuki knows that she can't prolong her silence anymore as she begins talking, "I grew up with only an old man – Hiruzen taking care of me. Sure there were two shop owners that occasionally would give me some free food but that was my whole human contact inside my home village. Most of the villagers hated me for one reason or another. My mother I died in child birth. From what old man Hiruzen and my father always told me, she had really loved me. They said she was always looking forward to taking care of me. Though in the end she couldn't and for that she apparently apologized to baby me. They said that in live my mother was gentle but fierce and always found a way to get her will.

My father a strong and gentle man visited as often as he could but as I told you I don't know which or if he belonged to a clan. He just disappeared often and came back with bandaged wounds. I was a little child back then, children don't get suspicious because some wounds they worry the suffering one. I always worried about him, but believed in his return all the time. I knew that he was strong or at least I believed so. After all, he taught me a lot before he suddenly disappeared when I was about seven years old. Sometimes I wonder if it was his fault that I was hated by the adults and shooed away from their children but I never found.", Nayuki stops and sighs. She hadn't imagined that spinning the truth around like that would be as easy as it is for her. Even though her father didn't mean it he was surely a bit at fault for all the neglect she suffered in her childhood. He was an idealist and believed in the people of Konoha to realize her as the heroine she was.

Thinking of Konoha brings back the images of her friends. How they met and slowly became closer. About their adventures and the pain they endured together. Smiling a pained smile she continues her slightly tweaked story with them, "Slowly but steady I could gain some friends over the years that were not kept away by their parents. At first we were 12 friends but after Hiruzen died, I believe that I was ten back then, one of my friends ran away. He had distanced himself from us after both his parents were murdered, but we hadn't thought that he would do something like that. My friends and I were always close, so we believed that if someone had problems he or she would talk to us. But when he ran away, we felt betrayed and never saw him again until our village was attacked. "

Unconsciously she rubs her hand over the scar on her shoulder as she thinks about Sasukes betrayal. It hurt so damn much when the only person she thought that could truly understand her just dropped her like used underwear. She would never admit it but back then she had a small crush on the raven head. So the pain of his betrayal weighed hard. On the other side the happy memories with Jiraya begin to bubble into her heart. Oh how she misses that damned pervert.

Nayuki fixes her gaze back on Butsuma who listens to her story carefully and continues, "In the meantime a man who said of himself that he was my godfather appeared and began taking responsibility for me. He took me often on long trips to show me how to gather information that could save my life one day. I never thought about it but I believe that he too was secretly training me in espionage, or at least some aspects of it. It would make sense considering that he was appointed my godfather by my father. He always said that he knew my father from a very young age. Even though he never wanted to tell me about my father he boasted about being his teacher.

I was happy back then I had my friends by my side and a fine, if a bit perverted, guardian. Every last one of them I considered my family, but in times like this there is always something happening. One day my godfather told me that he had to go somewhere, but he would be back by the end of a month – he never returned. I was shattered, another one of my father figures disappeared."

Once again Nayuki needs to take a pause as tears gather in her eyes. Jirayas death will always be a sore point for her. After taking a deep breath she goes on with her tale, "My friends helped me back to my feet. If I remember correctly one of my friends back then had to lecture me because I neglected my diet after my godfathers disappearance. It took a while for me the get my grip back together, but I swore that I would search for my godfathers legacy. He too dreamed of true peace. He believed that true peace can only be accomplished if people truly begin to understand each other. So I decided to go on searching for him to find a way to create true peace.

It didn't take long after that they came. I don't know who they were or whatever they wanted but they completely destroyed our home town. Those shinobi came out of nowhere and attacked. I can still see one of my friends face when he jumped between me and one of the attacker. He gave his live so that I could live. It hurt so damn much to know that you kinda killed one of your friends by being irresponsible.", Nayukis voice began to waver at the thought of Nejis noble sacrifice in the war. The way he smile while dying because he was finally free is fresh in her mind. Nayuki can feel the tears that up until now have only gathered in her eyes begin to overflow. She can practically feel Hinatas comforting embrace and her murmured words of hope.

Oh, Hinata. Poor, loveable, innocent Hinata! After her near death in their fight with Pain she was slaughtered by that madwoman Madara for comforting Nayuki when she needed it. Nayuki sees it flashing before her eyes as Madara ripped Hinatas head from her body giving the explanation that she shouldn't have interfered with Madaras attempt to break Nayukis mind. A sob escapes Nayuki at thinking back to her unjustified and horrifying death.

Letting her tears drop freely now Nayuki starts once again, her voice shaky and soft. An occasional hiccup breaks her sentences as she stells, "My best female friends got massacred in front of my eyes just so that my attackers could enjoy seeing me breaking down. Admits all this confusion and cruelty the runaway friend returned. He helped trying to save as many as we could but it was hopeless. We were fighting a hopeless battle. Our deaths were sure to come because this superior opponent. Obviously we lost and I will never know how I survived or even got to the place you found me in. I'm just grateful that I got to meet you…"

After telling her tweaked story and remembering all the horrors of the fourth shinobi war she has to lean into Butsuma for support as she can do nothing but cry out all the suppressed pain that was hidden so long. Butsuma doesn't comment on the situation or her story, he just comforts his crying wife as much as he can.

It takes Nayuki several minutes to calm down again. As she does, she apologizes for losing control of her emotions while Butsuma looks at her with an unreadable expression. He shakes his head and denies the need of an apology. He is in turmoil, 'How can this woman, my wife, still believe in peace after seeing everything she loved being murdered brutally just for fun? If she knows that dirty side of humanity, why would she still continue to dream this hopeless dream?'

Uncertain with Butsumas silence Nayuki fidgets. Not being able to take his silence anymore Nayuki asks, "Now, what do you think? I can't read your mind so you need to tell me what you are thinking. You make me uncomfortable here…"

Finally Butsuma responds, "Why? If you have seen the hopelessness of this world because of humanities dark and dirty desires, how can you still believe in a fools dream of peace? Why would you live in false hope and pretend there to be a chance? It's foolish and stupid!"

Nayuki is taken aback by how harsh his words became at the end of his short rant. And hurt. First she can't find any words to express her disappointment of his reaction and how much she is hurting from it. However, she soon finds her voice again and begins steadily, "I believe in the future and that people begin to tire from the ever being war. The endless death and pain. I'm sure even you don't like killing and that it's painful for you to do it. In war there are no winners only survivors and corpses. I'm sure that people soon realize that it's stupid to send children to die for a war no one even remembers starting. People will start to recognize that with the situation like it is now the sacrifices of our forefathers are wasted. And if this is foolish to believe in, then you married a fool!"

Hi guys!

Thanks for all the get well wishes!

Now I'm back! ;)

I don't know if I'll be able to update regularly again as I still need to learn all that damn schoolwork I missed, but I'll give my best!

xoxox

~StiCyLove