Crazy trouble with love part 4

Seras and Schrodinger

Series: Hellsing

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Seras walked to her room while sighing since they just got back from the meeting with the round table and the queen, which lead to a bunch of nazis declaring war on them, and with her master blowing the brain of this one kid who brought the message.

'Master really is frightening sometimes.' She thought before recalling that the body just vanished into thin air. 'And now we gotta worry about a big fight in the future.'

"That's quite right." Spoke the same body in her line of vision. "Guten tag."

"Wah!" she jumped seeing the boy and quickly pulled her rifle up.

"You really seem jumpy today."

"H-How did you get in? Wait, how are you still alive?! My master blew your head all over the floor." she spoke with wide eyes.

"I'm everywhere and nowhere." He said while walking away, only to reappear outside near the window. "See."

"A-AH!" she screamed before she fired several rounds outside the window.

A large thump was heard from outside as Schrodinger appeared behind her.

"That gets boring you know."

"WAH!" she jumped before kicking him in the guy into the wall.

"Ow, that hurt." He groaned before appearing on her head. "But as you can see, I can't get hurt in the normal way."

Seras frowned before aiming the rifle up and fired several more times.

His body fell onto the bed as blood ran down her head.

"...boo." He said as he poked out from her uniform.

"AHHHHH!" she screamed as the sudden appearance ripped her clothes and made her cover

her chest. "G-Get away you little creep!"

He rolled his eyes while appearing next to her. "Really, this is getting boring. Seeing you scream without thinking why I'm here."

"Then please enlighten us." spoke another female with a gun pressed against the back of his head to show Integra with Walter and Alucard beside her. She glanced at Seras and cocked the barrel of the gun. "Police girl, did this little brat try anything on you?"

"No just appeared in my clothes."

"So he's a pervert too." she glared at him. "Now I won't feel bad when I blow your head off."

"Oi oi oi! I wasn't here to fight, just to give some information." He lied. "Want to hear it?"

"..."

"Yeesh, it was…" he trailed off before appearing outside. "Cogito ergo sum, or I think therefore I am." before vanishing in a blink of an eye.

"Alucard, any idea how that brat can do that?" asked Integra putting her gun away.

"No, but he is annoying."

"So are you." Schrodinger said in his mind before leaving.

"Um, can someone help?" blushed Seras still trying to cover herself.

"Nah, you're fine police girl." Alucard waved off.

"M-Master!"

"Walter, get her some new clothes." ordered Integra.

"Right away miss Integra." He bowed before walking out of the room.

'I'm gonna get that bloody kid back!'

(Later that week)

Seras sighed while taking a bath full of salt, for obvious reasons. Besides unable to stand pure water that is. 'This is just what I needed.'

As she relaxed she didn't notice Schrodinger also in the bath relaxing.

'Yep, better than regular water.' He thought with a hiss. 'But it's still water.'

Seras then opened her eyes and saw the catboy. "A-A-"

"Guten tag."

"AHHH!" she jumped up and scrambled out of the tub while panting and looking at him. "You! What the bloody hell are you doing here?!"

"Taking a bath, the Major made sure the baths are...full." 'By turning it into another lab.' "And I like the salt water, it feels good on my skin."

She growled and grabbed a bottle and threw it at him.

"Ow." He yelped while appearing, now clothed, in the mirror. "That was uncalled for."

"So is showing up when I'm naked and taking a bath you bloody bastard!"

"...so? I've seen naked girls all the time." He shrugged. "But your breasts are bigger than most, did you drink a milk factory?"

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" she yelled while trying to cover her chest.

Schrodinger shrugged before vanishing.

"Bloody damn punk." she frowned under her breath.

"Heard that." He said before groping her chest and vanished again.

She blushed and growled while accidentally cracking part of the sink with her fist. "FUCK!"

(Two days later)

"Guten tag." Schrodinger said while appearing in her coffin while she was sleeping.

"WAH!" she cried jumping and hitting her head on the top. "Ow! What the hell are you doing here?!"

"To say hi." He said before seeing her pjs. "How cute, all pink."

She growled. "Ya know what, you really shouldn't have come in here."

"Why's that?" he asked before feeling intense pain as she punched him in the gut while twisting her fist.

"Because now I got a clean shot in."

He gasped before appearing in her mind. "Ow! That hurt!"

"How the hell are you even able to go there? I mean there has to be someplace you CAN'T get in!"

"Nope, I'm everywhere and nowhere." He smiled. "And boy this place is full of porn….wait is that Alucard and you in a pool and...oh my you are using chains-"

"GET OUT OF THERE BEFORE I BLOW MY BRAINS OUT IF IT MEANS GETTING YOU OUT!" she roared.

"...ok." He squeaked while leaving her mind and was gone. 'Worse than...well anything.'

She sighed and laid back down in the coffin. 'I swear, I'm gonna get more stress lines then Integra at this rate.'

(Two days later)

Seras looked around the dining hall on high alert with Integra and Alucard at the table while she ate her breakfast.

"You sure I can't get you any extra security police girl?" Integra asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." she replied while touching the gun on the table. "Just fine."

"Guten tag." Spoke Alucard while in the catboy's shape.

"AH!" She jumped and grabbed the gun before firing several times.

"...it was a joke." Alucard frowned while assuming his natural form.

"S-Sorry master!"

"Ok this is getting out of hand." frowned Integra. "You look ready to have a damn heart attack because of that kid."

"But he could appear anywhere! And he went into my mind!"

"Well as it stands we can't kill him no matter what we do because he keeps coming back."

"Then what should be done?" She asked before seeing Schrodinger waving outside the window while eating a pretzel. Her eyes widened before grabbing her gun and started firing outside. "GET THE HELL OUT!"

A thud was heard while the sounds of screaming was heard. And he didn't appear in front of her.

"He...he's gone….OH THANK GOD!" she yelled in joy. "He's gone!"

"Who's gone?" Asked a voice behind her in a muffled and unrecognized tone.

"That kid is finally gone and can't drive me insane anymore!"

"Really? How great, but you might want to make sure he's dead."

"You're right, I should!" She said before walking over to the window and looked down. Her eyes widened at seeing nothing. "A….A….A….."

"What's wrong?" Asked the voice from behind her and close to her ear.

She slowly turned her head and saw him there before she felt something snap in her. Her mouth slowly formed a smile and she started giggling before it slowly escalated into laughter.

"Um, what's wrong?" He asked while getting nervous.

She kept laughing and moved back to the table while setting him on the floor. "If you're gonna stay, you gotta have breakfast! Here! I got something!" she reached into her pocket and pulled out a grenade before shoving it in his mouth and pulled the pin before jumping to the side. "ENJOY!"

BOOM!

"Ow." He groaned while appearing behind her. "That was new."

Integra groaned. "Walter, see if you can do something."

"As you wish." He said before the catboy vanished and left a card on Sera's head.

"Heh heh heh, he's gone, like the wind." she laughed while looking like she snapped. She then looked at that card and saw the words Sexy Polizei Mädchen on it. "Hahahahaha! See that master? Now the catboy's are saying the same thing. Ahahahaha!"

'This isn't good.' They thought at the same time.

(A while later)

Seras was humming while trying to cross stitch. Her mind has returning to normal but she still had the capacity to snap if provoked, ask Pip when he annoyed her too much. 'Just try and focus on this and don't fall off the wagon.'

Schrodinger appeared behind her and kept quiet while watching her cross stitch.

"Knit one purl two, knit one purl two." She chanted while nearly finishing her project.

'What is she doing? I hope it's not another trap to make me explode.'

'I gotta keep my mind focused and not go off the deep end, again.' She thought while humming a tune.

Schrodinger blinked before sitting on a chair and watched her. 'Yep….this is the safest thing I ever did right now.'

"Ah, done."

He blinked before going into her mind and saw it was a blanket with….him and Seras either hugging or killing each other. 'Wow, I think I might have made her snap.'

"Now to put it on my back." She smiled while covering herself up. "Ah, much better."

Schrodinger looked around before appearing next to her but kept silent for his own sake.

"He can't appear if I can't see him~"

"..." 'Not true. I can see even when you're not looking.'

"And he's not going to make me insane."

"Not what I was trying to do really." Schrodinger finally spoke up. "I was just seeing how you were that's all. I'm a nazi, but I'm not completely evil."

She took the cloth off before her hand lashed out and grabbed the front of his uniform.

"Um let me guess, you want to kill me?"

"Ah, but that wouldn't do now would it?" she smirked showing her fangs. "I blow you up, you show up~ I shoot you, you show up~ So what good would that do?"

He gulped seeing her eyes. "Maybe we could, um, not hurt each other?" 'Eep.'

"Funny since your side wants to kill us out~" she sang before growing serious. "I could always drink you into a withering husk."

"Bad idea! If you do that then you will lose your sense of self and vanish!" He blurted out while covering his mouth. 'Crap!'

"Oh and what is this? A weakness~" she sang while pulling him closer with her eyes glowing. "Tell. Me. Everything~"

(One 'talk' later)

Schrodinger shivered in her grasp while his ears drooped down in fear.

"So you were gonna get eaten up by my master eh?"

He nodded nervously.

She smiled and patted his head. "Good boy, you know what this means?"

"I'm….going to get blown up?"

"No, I mean we have an ace and you can leave. But word of warning, you speak a word and I'll drink you dry, even if I vanish." she narrowed her eyes. "Got it?"

"G-Got it." He gulped.

"And you better not pop up around me and give me trouble, got it?"

"O-Ok."

She let him go and smiled. "Good, now scat cat."

He gulped before leaving as fast as he could.

(A week later)

Schrodinger looked around before appearing in Seras empty room. "Oh thank god she's not here."

"Who says I ain't?"

He paled as Seras walked out of the bathroom with a smirk. 'Oh shit!'

"Well good new for you. I'm a little more cooled off and I'm feeling pretty good, so don't go and have a heart attack."

"Like I can." He tried to calm down. "But why are you so calm?"

"Because I needed a break from you popping up like that all the time." she frowned. "And since you stopped and I'm in a good mood, I'm gonna give you something."

"L-Like?" He gulped feeling dread in his gut.

She grabbed him by the shoulders and leaned down before pressing their lips together.

'W-WHAT?!' He thought with wide eyes. 'S-She's kissing me!'

This went on for a few seconds before Seras let him go.

"W-What was that for?!"

"Let's just say I was feeling generous, especially since you're the pervert here."

"It was one time!"

"Every week." She frowned before grabbing his hand and moved it onto her right breast. "But since you like milk, I'm going to give it to you."

'Oh Scheiße.' he thought.

(One hour later)

"Oh….god…." Schrodinger panted while naked and hanging onto Seras while on the floor.

"You said it." panted the vampire while wiping the sweat from her head. 'Oh bloody hell, I just fucked a young nazi catboy who's been driving me nuts. I'm starting to be like my master.'

'...maybe I should just leave Millennium? Besides she's hotter.' He thought while squeezing a breast. "Care for round two fraulein?"

"Maybe round fifteen boy." She said with a smirk.

He gave a grin while the screen went black.