Songs

Jak was still fuming as he stalked back towards the common areas. Kassidy followed him, the doc silent. A fact for which Jak was grateful. He had no idea what to say.

The idea of being healed, of being able to fly again, had hit him hard. Ryder had to have known how hard that would hit him, had probably counted on that swaying him despite everything. If he had been alone, Jak probably would have jumped at the chance without thinking.

But an AI.

Even now, Jak shuddered. It hadn't been that long ago since the attack on Eden Prime. Geth were not AIs according to a few of the pundits that Jak had seen on the extranet but the distinction was essentially moot. They were inorganic intelligences. The sheer carnage they had wrought on Eden Prime and then later at the Citadel had been horrific in the extreme. If not for Shepard…

Jak shook his head slowly. He wasn't Alliance anymore. Not really. They hadn't kicked him out yet, but he knew it was only a matter of time before medical retirement caught up with him. He had played the system against itself for years, fighting to stay in uniform even as the bureaucrats had fought hard to tear it off him. Some of them, like Kassidy, did mean well. Others… Well…

"I need to report this." Kassidy's soft voice pulled Jak out of his near trance. He looked at the doc who looked worried. "You okay?" Jak didn't have the chance to speak before the doc snarled at himself. "No, of course you are not okay. That slimy little shit pushed all of your buttons."

The honest outrage in Kassidy's voice touched Jak in a deep, fundamental way. He hadn't had many people who had believed in him, not for years. Jak gave himself a stern shake and shook his head.

"Doc, he never said what it was he was doing." Jak said slowly. "He asked me if I wanted to get better and he knew the answer was 'Yes'. He never said he was working with AI."

"He never denied it either." Kassidy retorted.

"We didn't give him time." Jak managed a smile at Kassidy's expression. He looked away, at the walls of the facility that were adorned with art from previous patients, some of which was pretty good. "I would give almost anything to fly again." He said in a very small voice.

"And if you give up yourself?" Kassidy asked.

Whatever Jak was going to reply was cut off as a small mass threw itself against his legs and hugged them tight. He stared down at Lara's face as she stared up at him, eyes wide.

"Lara..." Jak groaned halfheartedly. He stiffened as she shook her head violently. "Lara? What?" She shook her head again and again, hugging his legs tighter. "Doc?"

"Lara? Is something wrong?" Kassidy asked, eyes on the girl who nodded. "With you?" She shook her head. "With Jak?" She made a face but then shook her head again. "But something is."

The girl nodded almost savagely, her face scrunched up as she tried her darnedest to speak and could not. Jak reached down and gently stroked her hair.

"Lara, calm down." Jak said quietly. "Calm. Calm." He wasn't a psychologist himself, but dealing with Lara's fixation had been an eyeopener. It had really stressed him out at first, but it wasn't bad, per say. She needed him and that made him feel good. The docs did what they could to help and their best was pretty good at times. "You cannot say what is bothering you. Can you write it?"

Lara stared at him and then her face went slack in surprise and consternation. She patted her pockets before finding a small tablet that the doc shad given her. No one would allow pencils and paper in this place, too much chance for patients to hurt themselves or others. She swiped it on and wrote quickly.

'Please don't leave!' She wrote and underlined. She showed the tablet to Jak who stared at her and then at the doc who stared back.

"Lara." Jak said softly. "What makes you think I am leaving?"

'You want to.' Lara wrote, her face squnched up with fear. 'You are not happy. We try. The docs try, but you are not happy.' She hugged him again, tight enough to hurt. 'Can you hear the songs? Please! If you hear the songs it will all be better.'

"Songs?" Kassidy shook his head. "Lara… Honey, what are you talking about?"

Lara looked at the doc and then at Jak, her face a mix of fear, worry and confusion.

'It is my fault.' Lara wrote. 'You cannot hear the songs and it is my fault.' She was crying now.

"Hey." Jak stroked her heir again. "Lara, what happened to me wasn't your fault. I didn't know you before coming here."

'I can hear the songs. They are calling. Begging you to hear them. To let them help. They ask me to help, but you cannot hear them.' Lara hugged Jak tight again. Her could feel her heart beating faster and faster as tightly as she clung. He looked at the doc who frowned. 'I want to help and I do not know how.'

She was shaking now in her worry, fear and exhaustion. She wasn't healed from her ordeals, not even close. Jak looked at Kassidy who sighed softly before pulling a small device out of his pocket. Lara jerked as the doc approached, her hand flying over her tablet.

'No!' Lara pleaded in her writing. 'You must hear the songs! Protect-...'

Her hand went slack as the doc pressed the device to her arm and it went hiss. She slumped, almost instantly unconscious. Jak caught her and lifted her easily, catching her tablet and shutting it off with one hand. She was so light still, not skin and bones anymore, but still very underweight.

"I don't get it." Jak said weakly. "She acts like she knows me, but I don't know her."

"You know better than most that the mind can be a very tricky thing." Kassidy said with a frown as he checked Lara's vitals. "She might not know you, but maybe she knew a soldier or someone who looked like you." Jak thought about that for a moment and then shook his head.

"The first time she saw me, we hadn't been introduced, but she wrote my name. My full name."

That had been a shock. Jak had been a patient in this place for a while, had been slowly recovering his equilibrium when Lara had arrived. Had it only been a month ago? It seemed like longer. She had such a tiny thing, all pain, fear and confusion, but then she had seen Jak and her face had lit up. It had taken her a week to get strong enough to move under her own power, but as soon as she could, she had sought Jak out. He… hadn't handled it very well at first. He had tried pushing her away. She had retreated, but then come back. Every time he turned around, he had seen her face. In classes, in physical therapy, at meals. The only time her was free from her was in the dorm and even then, she had managed to get in there this morning.

"I want to say 'lucky guess?' but that doesn't make much sense does it?" Kassidy said as he finished up and then, in a tender motion, brushed Lara's short hair out of her face. "And 'songs'? That is new."

"No idea, doc." Jak frowned. "I was never a music person. Ever."

"Well, she needs a lot more rest to recover. Let's get her into one of the private rooms and I will let Janice know she needs a minder."

Kassidy led the way to a nearby door. Inside, the room was nearly bare, intentionally. Two comfortable chairs were the only furniture and the walls were painted calming colors. The staff used such rooms for meeting one on one with patients. The chairs were comfortable to sleep in and Jak had to smile as Kassidy went to one of them, opened up a storage locker built into the bottom and pulled out a small blanket. Jak laid the slumbering girl down and Kassidy covered her with the blanket.

"She is a good kid." Jak said as Kassidy keyed his omni-tool, letting the nurses know where Lara was. "I just wish I knew why she fixated on me." Something warned him and he spun to the door. Cross stood there, leering at the trio. "Cross..." Jak warned.

"Hanky panky from the squeaky clean soldier boy?" The other patient said with a lilt. "I am shocked, shocked!"

"Well, I am shocked you have even heard of Casablanca." Jak retorted. Cross stared at him in confusion, thrust out of his moment and Jak smiled. It was not a nice smile. "Not that you would know empathy if it bit you."

"He accosted Lara this morning, didn't her?" Kassidy asked. Jak nodded, not taking his eyes off the weasel in front of him.

"She wasn't supposed to be in the dorm." Jak said with a grunt. "But yes. Janice said she snuck in during the confusion of Ryder's visit." He stiffened as Cross did.

"Ryder?" Cross demanded. "What Ryder? Here? Alec Ryder?" Whatever he saw in Jak's face made him pale. "What is he doing is here?"

"Go away, Cross." Jak said flatly. "Not your business."

"Ryder is a traitor and a menace." Cross said with a grunt. "He was trying to make an AI to destroy us all." He started to turn, only to be caught by two sets of arms. "Hey! Leggo!" He demanded as two orderlies came into view, neither of whom were impressed at all by his struggles.

"Mr. Cross needs some time out time." Kassidy's words were quiet, but an order. Cross struggled harder, but with two of them the orderlies could have managed Jak, let alone a weasel of a guy who probably hadn't done a push up in his life. "A few hours of quiet will do him good."

"You cannot do this-!" Cross started to snarl, only to break off as hand snaked around the orderlies and popped a big red ball into his mouth. Before he could recover and try to spit it out, the hand and strapped it in place and he wasn't going to remove it. Janice's smiling face appeared behind the orderlies and Jak smiled back at her even as Cross struggled in the grip of the two beefy men holding him.

"Just did, Mr Cross." Janice replied as she patted his arm while walking into the room. "Time Out Room Three is clean now, guys. We got the mess up. Get him in and situated. I will be by to check on him after I check on Lara."

Jak winced at that. He had spent time in time out himself, although not recently. Padded rooms were cliché for psychiatric facilities, but also very functional for such situations. Being strapped into a straitjacket, gagged and then left in a padded room was not pleasant at all, even with the mild sedative that the docs usually prescribed. He shook his head slowly as the orderlies dragged Cross away.

"There but for the grace of god, go I." Jak said softly as Janice stepped to scrutinize Lara's sleeping form. Both the doc and the nurse looked at him and he flushed. "I wonder sometimes, just how sane I will ever be. If that..." He nodded to the door where Cross had been. "...is my future."

"Lieutenant,..." Janice checked Lara's vitals with the skill of long practice and then started scanning with her omni-tool. "You are so much better than Mr. Cross, he might as well not even be in the same solar system. You didn't let the horrors that you endured break you. You are who you are and even the slavers could not destroy that no matter how hard they tried. What happened?"

"Her vitals spiked to dangerous levels." Kassidy said with a wince. "I gave her two milligrams. She likes the tablet."

"Good." Janice had been the one to suggest that if the girl wouldn't talk that maybe she would write. The directors had balked at the expense of such a thing that might be broken any time by a recalcitrant patient but one day, a tablet had simply appeared for the girl. Jak wasn't sure if it was legit or not, but Lara loved it and any doubts as to her intelligence had faded as soon as she had started writing. She was apparently fluent in three languages, English, French and Asari of all things.

"Has she written anything about where she came from or why she thinks she knows me?" Jak asked a bit plaintively. "She is so sure she knows me, but I don't know her."

"I have asked." Janice made a face as she eased Lara's slumbering from into what would be a more comfortable sleeping position. "She doesn't talk about her past, but she does talk about you." She smiled at Jak who suddenly wanted to be anywhere else. "The docs are not sure, but I am. She does know you from somewhere."

Both Kassidy and Jak stiffened at that. The two men eyed each other but then Jak slowly relaxed for the first time since seeing Cross. He wasn't about to question the head nurse's experience in dealing with patients any more than he would question a twenty year Alliance NCO's ability to do his or her assigned job. Experience was something that taught lessons. Kassidy looked about to say something, but his tool beeped and he scowled as he looked at it. He shook his head and was out the door before either of the others could blink.

"Speedy Gonzales..." Janice mused, only to pause as Jak laughed. She looked at him and he made a silly face.

"The fastest doctor in all of hospital!" The soldier said in a silly voice. Janice's eyes went huge and he smirked. "I um… I had a buddy who liked ancient cartoons."

"Seriously?" Janice's smile was wide now. "My sister loved those silly things. My dad had a huge collection and we must have watched them all a dozen times each. Which was your favorite?"

"You will laugh." Jak shook his head, but his smile was growing too.

"I might." Janice agreed as she tweaked the blanket over Lara and then sat down in the chair across from her. Jak looked at her and Janice scowled slightly. "All other staff is busy. I have time."

"You are the boss." Jak said weakly. "Is it really that bad?"

"Carl turned an ankle on his run yesterday and Sina just put in for maternity leave." Janice shrugged.

"Sina?" Jak thought about the bright and cheerful floor nurse who worked in the female dorm most of the time. "I hadn't heard she was engaged." He went still as Janice's eyes went hard. "Oh no. No. Don't tell me..." He groaned.

"Yeah." Janice shook her head. "Guy ran off as soon as she told him. No one has heard a thing about him since. She is a bit of a mess."

"That isn't right." Jak said flatly. "Guys like that give all of us men a bad name."

"She hasn't decided to keep it." Janice said sadly. "It is her decision, and her family will understand whatever she chooses. They are good people."

"That good." Jak felt a heavy weight descend on him. Memory of his lost teammates crashed in. "The groups your form, the bonds... They make all the difference. I..." He shook his head as despair reared its ugly head. He beat it back with the practice that the docs had given him. "Wiley."

"Hmm?" Janice asked, eyeing him. He smiled at her and she relaxed. He had dark moods, but he had never, ever, raised a hand to the staff here even at his worst.

"My favorite character." Jak said with a smile that became a grin as Janice goggled at him and then nodded as understanding dawned. "Wile E. Coyote might have been the villain of those cartoons, but he never gave up trying. He fell, got up, dusted himself off, and tried again. Lots to admire there."

"And the Roadrunner was a jerk." Janice agreed.

"Most of the heroes of those old cartoons were not people to like." Jak shrugged. "I mean, Bugs defined the word 'jerk' to his friends and enemies alike. Yes, he was the hero and you wanted him to win out against the bad guy, whoever it was, but still. He was mouthy, sarcastic and just flat out evil to anyone he wanted."

"Most of the cartoon characters of that time were not much better." Janice held. "There was so much political and social upheaval in the twentieth century and a lot of it showed up in the cartoons, even the supposedly non political ones." She shook her head. "Wile E Coyote. That is one I hadn't thought of in awhile. Who was your buddy?"

"Her name was Wilma." Jak said softly. "She was a tech. Our team tech and she… I..." Jak shook his head. "I can't talk about it."

"Classified or painful?" Janice asked, her tone neutral.

"Both." Jak sighed. "And that sucks the worst. The only one I can talk to about those is Doctor Hernandez and he gives me the creeps."

"Glad it is not just me." Janice's voice was very soft Jak looked at her and she shook her head. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Jak blew out a deep breath and forced himself to relax. "Thing is, Lara wrote something very odd. She was upset about songs."

"Songs?" Janice asked, eyeing the slumbering girl.

"Yeah, weird huh?" Jak slumped a bit and started for the door. "I have to go. My own therapy is in thirty minutes." He winced. "Doctor Hernandez is hard enough handle when I am on time."

"No matter how much he deserves it, please do not throttle him." Janice asked with a smile. "It makes such a mess."

"No promises!"