Chapter 45

Hunting

I couldn't believe Star was gone, none of us could.

Nudge had been crying nonstop since the incident.

Gazzy has been trying to act tough, but I keep finding him crying in the woods.

Total is besides himself with grief.

Iggy feels guilty and won't talk to anyone except me, he wont eat or drink on his own accord.

I cried every time I was alone, when I was with the others, I just stared into the distance.

Nova, oh Nova. He's devastated. He's a million times worse than Iggy. He's been sitting against the food table (which none of us go to anymore) unmoving. His sorrow is beyond tears, he just stares, doesn't move, just stares.

It's been almost a week since she died, I'm starting to wonder if we'll ever be the same…

I closed Star's journal and clutched it to my chest. I sat there for a moment, trying to talk me out of my latest decision.

I'm not one to wanna sit around and do nothing, even if I am completely devastated. I deal with my sorrow in different ways, not sitting around.

Getting up I put Star's journal back in my backpack. (Star's stuff has disappeared.) I walked over to Iggy and kissed his forehead, "I'm going for a fly. Please at least attempt to eat something while I'm away." I whispered into his ear.

I walked to the edge of the cliff and jumped off. My wings weren't unfurled, but I wasn't worried about getting hurt. Even though we were over 100 feet off of the ground.

I landed with a light thud and started towards the forest. If any of the flock did that they probably would land in a crumpled heap.

I pushed that thought out of my head and continues on further into the forest. I stepped over rocks and easily wove my way through the tree's.

I had eaten food, unlike Iggy and Nova, but for some reason food doesn't satisfy my hunger anymore. So I was going out into the forest, to hunt.

I morphed into my wolf form and sniffed the air. I was able to smell two elk nearby and a few mountain lions a mile north.

I growled lightly as the instincts took over again. I walked stealthily towards one of the elk. I had finally found something satisfying enough to quench my hunger...

"Hey Igg." I said, sitting next to him.

I listened to his breathing for a moment while he didn't answer.

"You should really go for a fly, it would at least help clear your head."

Silence again.

"You're probably all sore from sitting there so long."

"You smell like pine needles." he whispered, "You said you were going for a fly."

"We have been living in the forest, of course I smell like pine needles."

"Not the cliff pine needle Shadow, I can tell the difference. Why are you lying to me?"

"Just didn't want to worry you, that's all."

"What were you doing?"

"Nothing." I automatically said. I flinched and regretted it instantly. That would probably have the opposite effect of what I wanted.

"Shadow?"

"I-" I tried, but I couldn't tell him. I just couldn't.

"What were you doing Shadow?" he asked again, his voice tense.

He listened to me this time, but it was my turn to be silent.

"Shadow?" he said his voice raising an octave. It was then when I realized why he was so anxious. He thought I had gone looking for Knight again.

I knew I had to tell him, so he wouldn't freak. But saying is easier than doing.

"Do you really want to know what I've been doing?"

"Yes." he responded instantly.

"I- I was hunting." I whispered hoarsely.

There was a second of silence and I listened for his response intently, not daring to look up.

"Is that all." he asked slowly.

"Yes." I cautioned.

I felt his arms wrap around me and he put his face in my hair. "If that's what you need to do than it's okay.

"I killed an innocent creature Igg." I whispered. We both cringed at the word 'killed' and it took him a minute to respond.

"So do lions, and humans actually. If that's what you need to do to survive then it's okay." he comforted.

"Says the one who's starving himself to death." I muttered.

"You know, I am a little hungry." he allowed. I could tell he was just trying to find a way to make me feel better about myself, but I was glad he was even talking, so I didn't push it. If this was the only way to get him to forgive himself, then I was all for it.

"Okay then, let's go get you some food."

After Iggy ate the whole flock went to sleep. Except Nova. He never slept with the rest of us anymore. Like I said before, he never moves.

Since I was changing the routine anyway, I didn't get into bed immediately. Instead I walked over to the food clearing.

I sat down next to Nova as soon as I got there.

"Nova." I started, "Eat something, please."

He didn't respond he didn't move.

I felt how useless going on would be so I just put my head on his shoulder and closed my heavy eyelids.

(end of chapter 45)