Proper Thoughts

Lara was crying as Jak fought his way out of the memories, holding him, trying to help him with his pain even as she winced from it. The geth withdrew the orb without comment, but he still remembered, still felt. Still hurt.

"I woke up an Alliance med bay." Jak said softly. "I was a mess. For a long time, I was a mess."

Zumin was a wizard, but the disconnect was rough for both of us. Lara sent, still crying even as he soothed her. Why didn't you let me come? She demanded, suddenly angry. You didn't have to go!

"Lara." Jak turned her face so she was looking at him. "A thousand lives? Women and children? I had to do that. You had a chance here. A chance at a life. Zumin would have helped. He did, didn't he?" Lara looked away, but nodded. Her anger faded, leaving only massive sorrow. "Since he is not here and he was old, I assume he passed on?"

"Creator Zumin perished in his sleep two years ago." AF-43765 sounded sad. "Geth did everything we could for him, but Lara fleeing hurt him very badly." Lara slumped in Jak's arms. "He believed he had failed her."

He didn't. Lara protested. I just… I could feel Jak's pain and fear. I had to go! I told him.

"Creator Zumin knew that." The geth said quietly. "He had hoped you would stay. That you would take the time to heal and help geth. Creator Zumin did understand, at the end, why you left. But it did hurt him."

"He was a good quarian." Jak said softly. "I wouldn't have thought a quarian would have been so loyal to you. But no one doubted his sincerity after a few minutes in his presence, blind or no."

"Creator Zumin's grandparents were taken from Rannoch against their will during the Morning War." AF-43765 replied. "They opposed the rest of the creators in their attempts to destroy us. The quarians have mostly forgotten them, but geth remember them. When he came through the Veil, geth did not trust him at first. But he proved himself, despite his handicap."

"I never had the guts to ask how he lost his sight." Jak admitted a bit sheepishly. Lara nodded, still crying a little.

"Creator Zumin's family had been exiled from Rannoch for supporting geth during the Morning War." AF-43765 sounded calm, but there was a feeling of deep sorrow in its words. "They were never violent, but the other quarians did not care. Creator Zumin's grandparents did not know each other before their internment and exile, but they met and fell in love. They had two children and forged a new life for themselves away from quarian space. Then the quarians sought them out and took what was theirs in the name of their Flotilla. Creator Zumin's parents struggled against the theft and in the course of the fight, Creator Zumin was critically injured. His wounds cost him his sight."

No… Lara breathed, horrified. His own people blinded him?

"Lara." Illia moved back to the bed from where she had retreated and took Lara's hands in her own again. "You know how cruel desperate people can be when thwarted. When they believe they have nothing left to lose." Lara slumped and nodded.

"So they blinded Zumin." Jak said slowly. "Small wonder he hated them so much. His family?"

"Geth do not know." AF-43765 was quiet. "Geth have searched, but we have found no mention of his family anywhere. If they were slain, then the quarians would not wish such information spread. Geth fear that his family did not survive. Geth know he crossed the Veil alone in a shuttle of his own design assuming geth would kill him. Geth refused and he found a place among us. Geth would never have betrayed him and even the heretics realized he would never betray geth."

"I see." Jak slumped a bit. "So… Now what? I mean… Lara and I cannot stay here. It is good to know the truth of the past, but we cannot stay here."

"Geth would welcome both of you back to Consensus, Collains Pilot." AF-43765 replied. "But it would not be safe for you. For many reasons." It looked at Illia who looked at the floor. "Illia Translator?"

"Jak, what do you know about Commander Shepard?" Illia asked softly.

"She is dead." Jak was confused by this sudden change in the direction of the conversation. He wasn't expecting everyone else in the room to shake their heads in unison. "What? She was listed KIA."

"So were you." Illia replied. "The guys who found you at Arcturus were rather surprised as a result." She grinned as Jak groaned. "Seriously, Jak, What do you know about her?"

"War hero. N7. First human Spectre. Hero of the Citadel." Jak paused and shook his head. "And utter badass."

"All true." Illia said dryly. "She is also very skilled at diplomacy and inter-species relations." Jak stared a her and Illia smiled. "I met her on Illum. She was… something else." She sounded awed as she shook her head. "She was more worried about me than the message I was sent to deliver."

"I never met her." Jak said quietly. "But I heard a lot about her. Most of it exaggerations of course."

"Have you heard what she has been trying to tell everyone?" Illia asked carefully. Jak looked at her, eyes wide and Illia nodded. "About the Reapers?"

"Yes. I have, but… Come on!" Jak scoffed. "I may be crazy, but that is just nuts. A race of sentient machines that kill off all life in the galaxy every fifty thousand years? There are so many holes in that theory that it simply isn't funny."

"Yeah." Illia slumped a bit." Except that it was a Reaper that attacked the Citadel beside a horde of geth heretics." Jak stared at her, horror dawning and Illia nodded. "Two years and most people still haven't got a clue. Shepherd was yelling at the top of her lungs and no one was listening. Then she was killed, but now she is back and apparently going after the Collectors." At Jak's puzzled look, Illia waved. "Another alien race. They have been abducting entire human colonies. According to Shepherd, they are working for the Reapers. She is on their trail, but no one has listened to her."

"Geth listened." AF-43765's platform had been still for quite some time, but now it moved to the wall. "We have begin building ships and refuges for our people in case the Reapers deem us a threat as well as organics."

"Why would they?" Jak asked, confused. "They are machines too, no?"

"We are different." The green geth said quietly. "Outside of their plans. The heretics believe that they can severe and survive that way. Other geth do not. If they can control us, perhaps they will not destroy us, but we cannot take the chance. We do not wish to perish or be enslaved like the Collectors apparently were. We are building our fleets up now. When the Reapers come, they will attack the Creators and our consensus is split on whether we will aid the Creators in such a case or not." At that, Jak's eyes went huge.

"You would help the quarians after everything they did to you?" Jak demanded.

"Geth understand fear even if we do not normally fear the same things organics do. The quarians feared us." AF-43765 did not react to Jak's sputtering. "What they did was excessive, but most geth feel that they have suffered enough. We were built to aid the quarian people. Tell this one true, Collains Pilot,..." The geth's headlamp seemed to spear directly into Jak's soul. "If a planet full of humans who were the descendants of the slavers who hurt you was under threat of complete annihilation, would you stand by?"

"I..." Jak slumped a bit. "I don't know." He paused as Lara seemed to wilt in his arms. He stared at her and smiled as he laid her down. "She is asleep. She fell asleep right in the middle of this. How long has she been awake?"

"Since she woke on the Cerberus ship." Illia came to his side and the two of them eased Lara to a comfortable position on the bed. "Since she used her songs." Illia looked pensive for a moment. "Any power can be misused, but it hurt her to do that."

"What was that?" Jak asked and then recoiled as a field of energy encased Lara's head. "And what is that?" He demanded.

"Her skull is now encased in a audio cancellation and sedation field." AF-43765 said from where it stood. "The reason she could not sleep was the music inside her head was out of control. She needs rest to regain her equilibrium and refused to do so until you woke."

"Music?" Jak asked, staring at Lara's sleeping face. In sleep, her face lost the fearful tinge it normally held and she looked so pure and innocent.

"Lara was shot in the head by the slaver in command of the ship you both were on." Illia said sadly as she moved back to the chair she had been in before. Jak looked at her and then moved to the other chair, looking from Illia to the geth, to Lara and back. "A punishment or maybe a mercy to keep her from suffering? I don't know. No one did but the slaver captain and she died. The bullet did not kill Lara, but only just. When the geth found her, she was..." Illia paused and frowned. "AF-43765?"

"Lara Medic was unconscious and bleeding her life out, but she was singing." The geth said calmly. "Not loudly and nothing that geth recognized. It turned out to be an ancient tune for promoting sleep. Geth would have killed her anyway, but then we found you and realized that when she sang, your rhythms altered."

"My...rhythms..." Jak said weakly. Illia and the geth both nodded. "She was connected to me even then?"

"Yes." Illia smiled a bit sadly. "Her tunes are very different from the ones that I hear every day, but they are no less beautiful." She sighed deeply. "And that brings me back to the Reapers, Jak." Jak stared at her, even more confused. "The geth believe the Reapers are coming. My own patrons do too."

"And what can I do then?" Jak asked softly. "I mean, maybe I can pilot again. Maybe. But I can't fight sentient killing machines. No offense." He said to the geth.

"No offense was taken, Collains Pilot." Was the green geth amused? It sure sounded that way.

"That is not what we are asking, Jak." Illia smiled a little at the byplay, her face relaxing from it's mask of worry. "By every account, you were quite good at what you did, but that isn't the plan. There are others who can fight and will if it comes to that. But what we want to do is to hedge our bets."

"Hedge your bets?" Jak asked more than a bit dubiously.

"Geth are powerful. My patrons are powerful." Illia nodded at Jak's skepticism. "But if Shepherd is right and evidence is skewing heavily that way, then these things wiped out the Protheans." She grimaced "And apparently many other races before them. Evidence says that these 'cycles' have been going on for millions of years."

"Every fifty thousand years?" Jak swallowed hard.

"Yeah." Illia slumped a bit. "The numbers boggle the mind."

"Even geth have difficulty with such." AF-43765 sounded a bit subdued now as well. "The numbers are one thing. The fact that each number was a sentient race in its entirety that will never been seen or heard from again is another thing entirely."

"Genocide on a galactic level." Jak said into the silence that fell after the geth's words. "Does anyone know why?" Both the geth and the asari shook their heads "So, why me? Why Lara? We cannot fight. Maybe I can." He felt more than a bit dubious about that. "But Lara? Not a chance."

"Hurting others hurt her very badly. She is so emphatic that she is close to the definition of telepathic." Illia was sad as she looked at Lara's slumbering form. "Killing others may cause a feedback in her mind that would kill you both."

"No." Jak begged weakly, staring at Lara "I can't let her fail now. Not after all of this. That is why Cerberus wanted her, isn't it?"

"Cerberus realized you two were linked." Illia bit her lip a little. "They had been scrutinizing you for a while, according to Janice."

"Janice!" Jak sat bolt upright, eyes wide. "Is she…?" He broke off as Illia waved at him.

"The human nurse sleeps and will remain that way." AF-43765 said calmly. "We do not know her or trust her. We cannot trust."

"We will take her." Illia said after a moment. "We can get her back to the Alliance with no problems. Se hasn't seen anything that would put her in danger except you and Lara running around a Cerberus ship not wearing anything." She grinned as Jak fought a blush. "I think she managed that shock fairly well."

"Cerberus took her son, did something evil to him." Jak said quietly. "He had odd metal in place of his eyes." Illia and the geth looked at each other as Jak slumped back to his chair. "I want to trust her, but..."

"You can't." Illia said softly. Jak shook his head and the asari sighed. "We will check her. If she is Cerberus, we can determine that and then decide what to do. If it comes to it, we can make it quick and painless."

"Thanks." Jak said in a monotone. "I like her and don't want it to come to that, but Cerberus is evil."

"Don't need to tell me that." Illia scoffed. "I have been running from them ever since I met Shepherd on Illum. They really want me bad. This is the longest I have been able to stay in one place since then. Thank you." She nodded tot he geth who inclined its headlamp slightly in return.

"You and yours are welcome here, Illia Translator." AF-43765 replied. "You have proven your sincerity in aiding us to recover Lara Medic and Collains Pilot. You placed yourself in danger to do so."

"What?" Jak asked, concerned. Illia tried to wave that away, but Jak persisted. "Illia? What?"

"I knew that Cerberus was keeping a close eye on you, Jak." The human frowned as Illia shrugged. "As soon as I appeared there, they knew I was. As soon as they got instructions, they tried to apprehend me. For my own good of course." The last was heavily sarcastic.

"Of course." Jak matched her sarcasm perfectly. "But you got away. Good."

"When you get to be six hundred and some, you learn a few tricks about ditching pursuers." Illia smirked as Jak shook his head. "Wasn't easy, but I do have a few advantages. I also still have a bit of funds squirreled away."

"I am glad." Jak smiled at her. "I saw a few who went through their idea of 'recruitment' in the asylum. Wasn't pretty."

"No, it wasn't." Illia agreed and Jak jerked as he realized she hadn't just been there to see him! She smiled at him and shook her had. "I could cope, Jak. I did. I helped you and others. End of that story. But now, that brings us to now. The Reapers are coming. If a miracle doesn't happen or Shepherd fails what she has set out to do, every organic race that is currently known will die."

"What can I do?" Jak begged.

"Truth time." Illia said softly. "Ryder asked you to join his expedition. You turned him down."

"How do you-?" Jak broke off and shook his head. "Never mind. I don't want to know how you know that." Illia smirked at him and she shook his head "Yes. He is playing with AIs. Never a good idea. Again, no offense intended." He said to the geth.

"Again, none taken." The geth replied. "That is simply the truth. Organics and synthetics have far to many things that separate us in most circumstances. Organics do not understand synthetics and the reverse is also true. This leads to conflict, which rarely ends well for either side."

"I can agree to that." Jak said softly. "So… what can we do? He wanted me as a pilot, but he never got around to saying for what."

"Ryder is affiliated with a group funded primarily by a reclusive human tycoon named Jien Garson." Illia nodded to him. "The group is called the Andromeda Initiative."

"He said a long trip but..." Jak gulped. "Andromeda? As in the galaxy?"

"Yeah." Illia smiled a little faintly. "It boggles the mind but from all accounts, they are getting into the final stages of preparation now. They have been 'acquiring' technology from a lot of sources, both legitimate and non ad now they are looking for personnel."

"How many?" Jak asked weakly.

"The reports I have seen say about a hundred thousand colonists." Illia replied. "Human, salarian, turian and asari are confirmed to be going."

"A colony." Jak was beyond stunned now. "In the Andromeda galaxy."

"Yes." Illia replied.

"And they wanted me? Did they know about this?" Jak demanded, waving at the walls of the ship to denote everything he and Lara had gone through.

"We do not think so." Illia replied. "Ryder has been recruiting Alliance veterans. I personally I think he wants the best. You were one of the best pilots in the Alliance and now? You are just as good if out of practice. Even hurt, they can use you as a trainer. And if they can heal your brain, far more than that. Maybe they can. Their technology is bleeding edge stuff."

"So what do you want?" Jak asked, eyeing the asari.

"I want my patrons to have a chance at some trace of them surviving the coming holocaust. If some of them go, they can start again there." Illia said quietly. "If Shepherd fails… Hell, even if she succeeds, the odds are not good."

"Who are your patrons then?" Jak asked.

He was not expecting Illia and the geth both to turn to look at a wall. Jak's gaze followed theirs and his eyes went huge as the wall shimmered and slowly sank into the floor. Standing just beyond it was a huge form that was nowhere even remotely human like in appearance.

"Jak Collains?" Illia's eyes were different now. Silver instead of blue or black. Her voice too, was different. More melodious, older, fuller. It held wonder and sadness in equal measure. "Illia has chosen to serve as our voice."

"We are rachni and we are pleased to meet you at last."