Butterflies

"Me? I'm nobody. I'm not skilled like Uchiha-san. I am not passionate like Haruno-san. I am not smart like Nara-san. I'm not as strong as Chouji-san. I'm not as collected as Aburame-san. Or as pretty as Yamanaka-san. I'm not as confident as Inuzuka-san. If anything, I'm like Hyuuga-san, socially awkward. Oh wait, no, she's just shy. The socially awkward one is me." OC! Team 7 remix!

Chapter 86 – Did we forget anything?

8-8

"Mom, I'm fine."

"What about-"

"Mom, I've been to Sand before. I know about the extra water bottles. And the hats. And the cloaks. And the heat. And the sunblock you conveniently didn't tell me about last time. And the travel documents that you didn't even ask about last time."

"What about-"

"Mom, I have everything packed. Enough spare equipment and rations for a group three times the size we're travelling with."

"What about-"

"Mom. There's nothing I forgot."

"You're not even going to let me finish a sentence are you?"

"I just did."

"…"

"I did!"

"…"

"Mom, we'll be fine. And Temari's coming with us too, so we'll have someone that knows every inch of that desert. More or less."

"… You do realise that I can't lose you, right?"

"I'll be back before you know it. Besides, shouldn't you be bugging Naruto-nii? He's leaving the same time as us."

"…"

"And he has two far less experienced shinobis with him."

"…"

"And they're leaving for at least two years. I'll be back in a month, and I'm heading straight for a village. You don't even know where they're going."

"… You do realise I'm onto you, right?"

"You do realise that you've already thought about everything I just said and now want to double-check just in case before you come back and bug me some more, right?"

"…"

"Tell me I'm wrong."

"…"

"…"

"I've taught you well."

"Yes. Yes, you have. Now go on. I need to check on my team, bug the heck out of them. And make sure Ikoku knows to pack some extra water as well."

"I'm so proud of you, baby!" We hug, grinning like mad. It's how we love each other.

8-8

I'm not sure what's weirder. The fact that I'm not in the least bit worried about Naruto-nii, or the fact that I find myself wanting just five minutes alone with Chouji.

…

I'm not sure. Still trying to figure that out. Maybe it's because Minori's going with him? Maybe it's because I'll still be talking to him around the clock anyway? Maybe it's because I can summon him if things go bad? I don't know. I'm more worried about Chouji than Naruto-nii. And that's… weird.

Still… I find myself tracking Chouji down, wanting my five minutes. Maybe more. So why can't I find him? He's not in the compound, in any of the compounds. That means I'd have to leave to find him, and that would create a mad dash for everyone to get ready, because the team coming with me happens to be the same group that happens to follow me everywhere anyway.

Other than Temari and her team – it's still kind of weird to think of them as anything but her team. I mean, I have people following me around everywhere, just like Temari, and I consider them my team. So why wouldn't I consider Temari's shadows her team?

…

Aya, you're starting to think a bunch of crap.

…

And now you're talking to yourself in your head, telling yourself that you're thinking a bunch of crap; which, by the way, is more crap to add to that bunch you were just complaining about.

…

Chocolate. That's what I'm missing. Chocolate. But… I only smell muffins. And that means two peaches. And milk.

…

I can live with that.

8-8

"You have everything?" I ask, leering over Ikoku's shoulder as she lines everything out on her bed.

"Don't do that, I'm thinking." She says. I bite into my peach. The first one. I have to make sure Ikoku's packed properly, that's why I had to rush mom along. I'll make it up to her. I can actually see Ikoku going over her mental checklist, tapping her finger against random spots of air, going lower each time.

"Think out loud, that always helps me." I offer, mostly because I want to hear what she's thinking. I'm good, but mindreading isn't in my skillset.

"You're distracting me." She says, starting back at the top. This time mumbling, but nothing I can make out. I pay attention to the amount of syllables as she mumbles.

"You want four meals a day, not three. Always better to have more." I say. She looks at me, rights her glasses and opens a drawer, taking out extra water bottles and rations. She counts them, mumbling as she adds them to the already calculated total. Happy with it, she starts moving to her bed with her added load.

"…" She stops mid stride. "How did you…"

"Counted the syllables. You started on weapons, then clothes, then travel documents, the started calculating your water bottles and rations bars." I explain seriously. "Did you think about sunblock? Your skin will hate you if you forget."

"… I don't have any sunblock." She admits, tapping her finger against some more air, obviously making a mental note.

"Do you have a cloak and a hat designed for desert passage?" I ask.

"… Where would I even find something like that?" She asks.

"I have enough for our whole group. I'll show you where you can get stuff like that when we get back. Shinobi specialty store. The prices will make you cry, but the investment is so worth it." I explain.

"Ah. So that's where you got the winter gear?" She asks.

"No, I bought that at the outfitters. I mean, it does snow here, you know." I remind her.

"… I see. It almost never rains in Stone, so I knew it was winter because it'd get cold. And even then, a decent windbreaker would do. The land of Snow was… interesting." She says, a warm smile on her lips.

"It's psychological. Seeing the snow makes you feel cold." I explain. "Just be glad we were there in the summer. They have three months of pure, unending darkness in the winter."

"… So that's why it felt the days would just never end." She sounds amused, finally discovering something that should have been obvious. Then again, not everyone has my internal clock. Or my sense of direction. That's probably why people are scared to leave me on my own. I'd get lost in an empty lot.

Well… an empty lot I'm unfamiliar with. I don't get lost in familiar places. Usually. Any more.

Back to Ikoku, because I'm going to start arguing with myself again.

"Ever been to Sand?" I ask, still somehow wondering what Kin and Hitomi are up t…

Sniff.

Nevermind. I know what they're up to.

"Once, when I was little. All I remember is the gate guard asking me what I thought of the weather." That bastard! It's a standard line!? "Why were you blushing a second ago?"

"Jealousy, mostly." I admit. Those two are having some pre-mission fun, while I'm stuck trying to make sure Ikoku's packed everything she'll probably never use.

"… Huh?"

"Sniff." She does… She thinks… She processes… She blushes. "Not all of us can be that lucky. Chouji's avoiding me."

"You'd…?" She blushes even deeper.

"Honestly I'm not sure. That boy knows how to do things you to that I never thought I'd want, let alone enjoy… If he plays his cards just right, I'm not sure I'd be able to turn him down." I admit, blushing at putting that into words.

"You've thought about it." She doesn't ask.

"Well, yeah. Of course I think about it." Why wouldn't I? I'm not a nun! "But I'm not ready for that." Luckily he's a bit slow when it comes to these things. The other day… the day I was giving him his medical exam before greenlighting him for active duty… when he was squeezing my butt cheek… If he'd have moved his hand less than five centimetres the wrong (or right, depending on your point of view) way… he'd have touched the Promised Land… and the fact that I was dripping wet at the time didn't really help matters much. I somehow doubt I'd have had the mental capacity to stop him at the time.

I blush, wondering why I'm even thinking about that. And why I moved his hand back after he –being a true gentleman– tried to stop groping me. Why did I want his hand there?

…

Well, it felt good, I guess. But… we're not ready for that so why did… Why am I thinking about this? Why now? And why in Kami-sama's name am I just staring at Ikoku as she folds her underwear?

Hey, I have those same panties! They're comfy! Especially to sleep in. For some reason, I can't stand wearing anything but cotton during the day, but I've gotten simply addicted to sleeping with satin. Why am I thinking about this, again?

I bite the last edible part of my peach, sucking on the last of the juice on my hand.

I'm weird, aren't I.

"Anyway." I say, trying to change tracks on my train of thought. "We leave in an hour more or less. Don't forget to have everything sealed and ready. Anything you leave behind, stays behind."

8-8

I track down Tsu, who's only now starting to pack. After planting the peach seed in the hopes of getting a peach tree… but, that's a work in progress. How can you plant a seed wrong? I don't know, but I seem to manage.

She's been to Sand before, so she knows what to expect. She knows I deal with meals. And she knows I pack too much of everything just in case. So she only focuses on her clothes. "What makes you think you only need clothes?" I ask, just to be sure.

"Because your mom was in here earlier and left with a smile. You're packed for three months for a group twice the size we're travelling with." She says, smirking.

"… It's sad isn't it."

"Nope. It's a good thing. If mom were a kunoichi, she'd be in here bugging me too. As it is, she usually just bugs dad days before a mission for him to come bug me."

"So that's why you leave your underwear out until the last seal. You want to discourage him from getting into the habit." It finally makes sense.

"Yup. For some reason he just pinches the bridge of his nose and walks out. I wonder why." She's grinning, obviously not wondering about that at all. Especially since I can smell who's underwear it is, even with the fabric softener Yasu-nee uses.

"Bad girl." I tease.

"Look who's talking. You've been slightly aroused ever since Kin and Tomi started."

"What's bad about that? I'm a healthy kunoichi with healthy needs." I defend. "And, Miss Kettle, I suggest you realise my sense of smell is better than yours."

"I know that. But mine works just fine when this close. Even with the panty liner you're using to hide the worst of it." I blush. She can even smell that! Wow. And this without… wait a minute…

"You're guessing."

"Not really. Seeing as your scent is far less noticeable than mine, it doesn't really take a genius to figure out why. I'm just trying to learn from someone with more experience is all. I mean, seeing dad pinch his nose in annoyance every time he smells it can only amuse me for so long before it just becomes embarrassing." Good point.

"He'll smell it anyway, you know."

"… True. But, still."

"Can't argue with that." I bite into my muffin, the first bite. "You know it'll only get worse when you get a mate."

"… I don't even want to think about it. I've seen the effect Chouji has on you." She says, blushing a little.

"Then why are you thinking about it?"

"…" The blush deepens.

"Seriously?

"…" Her neck is starting to turn pink.

"Keito?"

"…" I can't see it to know for sure, but I'm almost positive her heels are turning pink.

"Does he know?"

"He only has eyes for his lady." She sounds a bit bitter.

"And this works to your disadvantage because…?"

"…?" She can't quite figure that one out.

"Talk to him about something that has something to do with me. Duh. That's your common ground."

"…" She thinks about that.

"Look. Face facts. The two of you follow me everywhere. In the village, on missions. The only place he doesn't follow me is when I need to go. In other words, discuss with him that you can guard me when he cannot. You'll win points, and he'll feel better in one fell swoop."

"…"

"Tsu, it's not like you don't have the time to get him to notice you one baby set at a time. He only has eyes for his lady. So unless your theoretical competition hangs out with me around the clock… you're safe."

"… Iki?"

"… What about her?"

"What if she's into him?"

"She isn't."

"How do you know?"

"The same way I figure out that you are."

"… How did you figure that out? I mean, not even one wrong guess!"

"Hindsight."

"…?"

"You purposely walk close to him every chance you get. At first, I thought it was because you were letting Kin and Hitomi watch my other flank, but… the second I noticed you were thinking about someone that might be mate material, it clicked."

"You're going to make me regret you finding out, aren't you."

"I'm not Kashi-nii. All I'm going to do is offer advice and let you make your moves at your own speed. You have to live with whatever the result is."

"… That's fair."

"I think so too."

"… Is it worth it?"

"…" I think about Chouji. About the uncertainty –and worse, the certainty– of him liking me back or not. "It's scary. It's nerve-wracking. It'll cause more heartache and sleepless nights than you can imagine. He's going to make stupid mistakes without even knowing it. He's probably going to be a clueless jerk more often than not. And there will be times you're going to feel like killing him…"

"Is it worth it?"

"… Chouji is, to me. Only time will tell if he will be for you."

"…"

"Hitomi never thought she'd find acceptance. Neither did Kin." I point out. She smiles a little this time. "And the age difference didn't affect them at all."

"How old are they?"

"Kin's fourteen. Hitomi's nineteen."

"And Kin made the first move?"

"Hitomi thinks it's because she was too aroused not to."

"… That sucks."

"Fear of rejection?"

"Yeah!"

"How about lost chances?"

"… Aya, please…"

"Am I wrong?"

"It's… not that you're wrong… I…"

"Chouji still scares me."

"…"

"The fear of rejection doesn't go away with time. It only gets worse so long as you don't know."

"Chouji would die for you."

"So would you. Are you in love with me?"

"… Chouji loves you, Aya."

"I know."

"… But…?"

"…"

"Aya…?"

"…"

"Does he love you enough?"

"N-nn."

"Hmm. I guess you'll just have to find out."

"…?"

"Shouldn't you go check on Keito?" I see what you're doing! If I didn't already have so much going on, I'd interrogate you until I know what you know!

"… Would you mind doing it? I want to make sure the others are ready."

"…!"

"I'm not forcing you. I'm asking you."

"…" Time's a ticking!

"I'm not going to offer again."

"… Fine."

8-8

Temari is quite happily terrorising her little brothers, and their genin. I find myself smiling. Obviously I don't have to worry about them at all.

I bite into my muffin. It's about half done, but I have time so there's no need to rush. There's always time for chocolate.

I listen to Kankuro muttering under his breath about his sister – before muttering how Sand won't be the same without her. I listen to Gaara quietly agreeing with him. And Temari is so busy asking Sari, Matsuri and Yukata about this and that… that she misses the most important parts.

"Is it weird?" Kankuro asks.

"Nn?"

"That Konoha feels more like home that Sand ever did."

"… No."

"You have that, too."

"Nn."

"Is that why you asked that Aya escort us back?"

"… Nn."

"Bring the most important part with you."

"Nn." I hear a smile this time, small, but there.

"… Aya's listening isn't she."

"Has been for a while."

"… And you couldn't warn me?"

"It's not my fault you can't sense her."

"I'm not a sensor."

"Also not my fault."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"… I can't tell what's worse. Worrying if she's listening. Or worrying that I can tell if you're lying or not." Why would you worry if I'm listening? You've said nothing I'd get upset over.

"Why would I lie?"

"That's exactly what a liar would say."

"Then go outside and check. She's sitting on the top stair." Point to Gaara.

"What's the point? Even if she is there, by the time I reach the door she'll have disappeared." Point to Kankuro.

"Then pretend she isn't there. You'll never know." It's sad how much sense that makes.

"…"

"…"

"Why does that make so much sense?"

"That's not what you need to worry about." It isn't?

"… It isn't?"

"No. It's whether Aya's knowing smile has anything to do with listening to this conversation. That's going to bother you the entire journey to Sand." I smile, knowing exactly how I can get under Kankuro's skin now.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Am I wrong?"

"I hate you sometimes."

"I can live with that."

"…"

"It's only sometimes."

"Okay. I'm going to check on Akihito, 'cause you're making way too much sense." Just to see if I can mess with him a little. I activate my camouflage jutsu. Kankuro exits the room, stares at exactly where I'm sitting, but can't sense me at all. He shakes his head, mumbling as he goes down the hall to check on his genin.

Interestingly, he'd left the door wide open. And Gaara is meeting my gaze with a little smile. I drop the camouflage, wave and head out to check on things in the Uzumaki camp.

8-8

Okay… Is everyone but me getting in happy time? I smell you, Hina-nee! I know!

The almost muted grunts tell me Naru-nii isn't complaining about the festivities. A moment later, Hina-nee walks out of the room. Her eyes meet mine almost immediately. She's halfway to freaking out. Then she swallows.

I smile. Grin really. She swallowed so much more than just saliva. I bat my eyelashes at her, grinning wider. Without a word she turns on a dime and walks right back into the room she just came out of.

"It's not like she couldn't smell what we were doing from downstairs. Or even in the yard." I hear Naru-nii whisper soothingly.

"…not. helping."

"Hina, she knows I love you. She knows you love me."

"…not. helping."

"She sleeps in a house full of noses and couples, Hina. She can smell when her parents are having fun. When her sister is having fun. She's desensitized." More or less. Jealous, but desensitised.

"…"

"It's like your Byakugan. Sometimes you see more than you'd like to. Only with her, she can't turn it off. It's not like she can stop breathing after all. Not for long, at least."

"…"

"It's fine, Hina. Really. Come with me, you can see for yourself."

"…"

"Or would you rather I return the favour?"

"…" Hina-nee's scent is suddenly far more noticeable.

"Careful, Hina… sis isn't the only nose around here." Naru-nii, you tease. I hear a kissing sound. D'aww, kissing her right after? That's sweet. Another kissing sound. And another. Each time, Hina's scent becomes more pronounced. It's official. I'm the only one not getting happy time.

I have no idea if they're packed or not, but when I hear a zipper, I know it's time for me to leave. I don't doubt hearing her moaning and whimpering is more than I can handle right now.

That no one else notices this… that they didn't think to put up a privacy seal… then again? In a house full of shinobi, shinobi in training, Byakugan users, a nose, and would be Sealing experts? What point would it serve? They could disable it, hack it, simply see through the door, or smell the air in the room anyway… and Kami knows what else. I guess a certain level of trust is needed in a clan like this. Just like in the Namiki clan.

8-8

Time to leave. I've already said my goodbyes to the pups. Everyone is ready. And mom keeps looking at Hina-nee and Naru-nii, blushing. Naru-nii smirks each time she does. I'm guessing mom walked in on them, judging from how Hina-nee can't met her gaze – or mine. I don't know why? I mean, I can smell him on her. Literally. And even though I can smell he washed up after, I can still smell her on him. And a female's arousal is far easier for me to smell than a male's, even days after.

Anyway.

Still no sign of Chouji. And I'm no longer in a position to go search for him. I sigh. I hug mom, tell her to take care of everyone for me, and we start our trek to South Gate.

I manage to convince everyone that I need to buy some extra chocolate – muffins and the like, seeing as my normal bars would melt before long in Sand. So I end up dragging them to four different stores – trying to see if I can track that boy down!

Eventually I stop making excuses, and simply follow Chouji's scent. I'm tired of not getting my five minutes!

…

South Gate? Why is Chouji waiting with a knowing smile at South Gate?

…

I walk up to him, questions in my eyes.

"I'm coming."

"…?"

"Don't give me that look. I go on a mission and you get to tag along as you please. This isn't a top secret mission, and I'm quite capable of keeping up."

"…"

"We're wasting daylight."

I ignore the knowing smirks, smiles and grins. I don't care. "Let's go then." I walk past him, making sure to flick my hair at just the right time so its scent meets Chouji's nose.

8-8

After we all go through customs –mostly waiting for the Sand group again– we say our goodbyes.

I hug Naruto-nii, warning him to be on his best behaviour. That I'll know if he tries something stupid. He just grins, wiping the side of his mouth. I narrow my eyes at him, pissed that even he got some kind of snuggle time – very snugly, but that's beside the point.

I hug Minori, asking her to take care of the guys for us. She promises she will, petting Haruki's hair and swatting Naruto-nii as she does.

I hug Haruki, telling him that I can't wait for us to spar when he gets back. He smirks, but doesn't say anything. He hugs me again. I kiss his forehead, kiss the crown of his head, and squeeze him a little to let him know I'll miss him – even as quiet as he tends to be. I want to tease that the only sane Uzumaki is leaving, but Haruki would make a comment – he'd be too tempted not to. And I really don't want Asami-nee to have her cover blown just yet. Maybe when they get back. Maybe not even then. We'll just have to wait and see.

I have my team wait, watching Naruto, Minori and Haruki disappearing into the distance. I'm going to miss them. But, as a consolation… I know Jiraiya won't be back in town for a few years too. That makes me feel somewhat better. And I can tell it's going to wreak havoc on my wanting to be happy when they're on their way back. Because they'll be coming back… but they'll bring him with them.

"Temari. You know where we're going. Everyone, keep up."

8-8

That night. Lying in a tent. I find myself happier than I have in a long, long, LOOOOOONG time.

I can't even think about happy time, I'm not ready for it. Sure, I talk (mostly think) big around others, but with Chouji here? With me snuggled up to him? With my head on his arm, hand on his chest, leg carefully snuggled between his? All I can think about… is wanting to lie here.

That's all. Just… lie here.

Just feeling him. Just smelling him. Just seeing him, even without my glasses on. To kiss his bare skin and taste him. Have his warmth.

My eyes flutter. Darkness trying to claim me.

One last kiss. On the lips. Tasting him. Smelling him.

Akimichi Aya…

Chouji… and… Aya…

Scared… always… scared…

Worth it.

8-8

End Chapter 86

8-8

End Butterflies.

8-8

A/N: A bit of an outro really. Either way, it's like 1:00 AM here. Good night.