The Butterfly Effect
"Me? I'm nobody. I'm not skilled like Uchiha-san. I am not passionate like Haruno-san. I am not smart like Nara-san. I'm not as strong as Chouji-san. I'm not as collected as Aburame-san. Or as pretty as Yamanaka-san. I'm not as confident as Inuzuka-san. If anything, I'm like Hyuuga-san, socially awkward. Oh wait, no, she's just shy. The socially awkward one is me." OC! Team 7 remix!
Bonus Content 2 – The story behind the story
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A few things I want to handle in this round of Bonus Content. First off is a promise I made to explain Aya's uncanny willingness to give in to what people ask her to do.
There are actually quite a few factors at work here. First off is the blow to Aya's self-confidence. This happens to most (if not all) girls once they hit puberty, as such, Aya –who's already got way too much going on– deals with it poorly. I mean, if you know that the people around you can smell you when you're on your period? Smell when you're aroused? Smell when anything happens that most girls blatantly try to deny happens at all? It has a profound effect on Aya, and she copes with it poorly.
Then there's Aya's skittish way of dealing with things. She knows she's indecisive, so she simply finds it easier to let someone else decide, provided she can agree with it.
As well, we cannot entirely ignore that Aya's heritage –i.e. her wolven instincts and her pack mentality– are also playing a role. If she is somehow convinced that what she's being asked to do is for the good of the pack? That someone needs her to do this for them? Her instincts will crave to do it, so long as there is reason and it isn't detrimental to her pack (though not necessarily depending on it being detrimental to herself).
8-8
Responses to CursedOne's reviews. Not because I'm petty (though I can be, why deny the truth), but because I stick to my word. Normally these rebuttals happen behind the scenes, where only the reviewer can read how I explain things, but this is what happens with every review. However, let me say that the obvious acidity of my responses are more to do with the increasingly condescending reviews of this particular reviewer. Seriously, if there's anything I can't stand it's someone that doesn't dare to post a story to put themselves out there, but trying to tell me what I'm doing wrong when I consistently show myself and allow myself to be vulnerable.
Review 1 (him/me):
first thing first, english is not my native language or even my second language, so bear with my mistakes. And I was trying, really really hard to not post this but... Starting off bad here. Not because of English not being your first language, but if you were trying hard not to, then that means you're probably starting off in a bad place.
when i found You and Butterflies for the first time I thought that I found something rare and worth waiting for. So sweet, yes Butterflies, like every story I make, is quite a gem in my not so humble opinion. I don't like to start writing unless I feel the story is worth telling. You created realistic person, Aya, Aya who could feel pain, hatred, sadness, weakness and the list go on. I was thrilled. You made a real person in fictional and unreal world, someone who even I could understand. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right. Then the changes started. Sweetie, that's how life goes. Things start one way, you grow, it changes. How is this not meeting your yardstick? At first I was happy with how the story progressed, because it would be strange for someone from Yamanaka clan to not realise that Aya had problems. Especialy when said yamanaka spend a lot of time with said person in school in the same room. It would be strange for said yamanaka to not act to help in some way. Aya who reacted to kakashi tardines and unwilingnes in the only possible for normal person way. Blinks. Okay. It was somewhere there when I decided that this story has the biggest potential that I've ever seen. This is where I start getting a bit nervous. It isn't up to me on which pedestal you put me on, but don't praise me with one breath, then slay me in the next. Change is part of life and, as such, integral in my writing. Not one of my stories allows for my characters to begin and end the story in exactly the same way. That's not only illogical, it's unrealistic.
Sadly now in my personal opinion said potential was wasted (yes, I know, my opinion is not important here, and i'm sorry that I feel this way). Hnn? I'm glad we agree that your opinion is important to you, but seriously, I nearly peed myself laughing here. You created even more crazy and unreal (i would even say dissney) world. Again, Aya begging to be bent over and fucked? The countless times she's torn through enemies, collected heads, been THOROUGHLY unreasonable? I'd pay to watch a Disney movie where the 'princess' is anything like this. Asami, this I can understand, Naruto forgiving her as well because this was his nature from the very begining, Starting rather rocky here. And really, it says more about you than it does about me that you even view it this way. heck even Aya forgiving for kakashi was expected. BUT... seriously her godmother? You're absolutely right! Forgiving someone that fucked up YEARS later when they obviously need emotional support? How unrealistic! Que dramatique! her biological parents? Uh huh. This is so wrong of her to not continue to be a snot-nosed brat! How DARE Aya try to let go of the hurt and anger and impotent hatred that has been eating away at her for YEARS! Especially when the source of that hatred –i.e. her not wanting to do the missions she does – is finally coming to an end, in her opinion. Mei who robbed her of her family? Mei who housed her wayward parents, you mean? Sakura? Who, even now, isn't forgiven or even liked by Aya. girls in age of, what 17? 18? wanting to already create families of their own and having multiple children? And six year olds living on their own, paying their own bills. Don't base your 'real world' expectations with the in universe 'reality' I work with. (And most important... chouji, guy who does not want have sex with the person HE LOVE... what the fu... xd) And that is the EXACT reason I wrote Chouji like that. Because everyone likes to portray the guy as a mindless fuck machine that wants only to screw everything that walks. Why can't a guy want to wait? I know guys that ACTUALLY live this way. On purpose, CHOOSING to wait until they are ready to make love to their partner. Nothing wrong with that, just because YOU are not like that. Even original Naruto from the show was more realistic. I believe I already rebutted your version and brand of reality. Moving on. And then, there is Aya personality, you forced her to take 180 degries turn. Who she was at the begginig and now are two entirely difrent persons. Its like you put some other Aya in place of the one from butterflies. What You have done to her is not possible in normal world (yea, i know, that IS a fanfiction). So, you're saying that Aya is supposed to not change? And who's to say that the change is bad? Maybe the Aya that you've come to know is actually the clutter life threw at her, and the source of that clutter, the pain, the hatred, the anguish, maybe that is slowly leaking away. That would PSYCHOLOGICALLY allow for the TRUE Aya to shine through that has been there all along. This isn't only realistic, it's actually perfectly sound from a psychological standpoint. Another problem are kids... yes, kids. They are everywhere, and every single one of them is prodigy. Wow. This one had me scratching my head. You know that there are degrees of intelligence? That not everyone is brilliant, average or stupid? The kids are all consistently being offered the guidance and teachings that they'd need to grow. And you want to blame me for allowing them to grow? I'll grant that they aren't all equally realistic, but… Prodigy? Prodigy is a word I don't throw around lightly. But trust me, that of the bunch… MAYBE Hoshie could be seen as a prodigy. Maybe. The others are all simply being given a vent for things they are trying to run away from. they jump up from nowhere and start showing that they can do everything. Kids at 8-9 graduating from the academy? that in anime was the proof of being prodigy, and even there, there was less of them than in this story. Oh? So, Kakashi at age 6 being a chuunin? Oh, right, prodigy. But… Shikamaru being too lazy to graduate early? Oh, prodigy. Hmm, what about Sasuke undeservingly being top of the class? He's showing off, nothing more. He's given every chance to shine. And yet...? What about Shino? Do you think he could have pulled it off? Graduating early? What about Ino? She probably stayed in that class simply because she wanted to be near Sasuke. The entire graduating class was FILLED with what you would identify as 'prodigies', after all, not ONE of them died in the 4th World War. So how do you blame me for this, exactly? It's like: Oh! new kid, here you have flute, guitar or some other music instrument, play and cast sound jutsu! And here, take this kodachi, wield it. Oh, you needed a whole week of training your body, mind and learnig how to play with sleep and meals between to actually succed? Don't worry, you just need some more time than the rest. At least you could succesfully use your new blade after 2 days of trainig, that's something. And lets not forget about the faxt that you unlocked your chakra and discovered your elemental affinity; Yeah, except Sakiko took what… six months to cast her first sound release based genjutsu? Playing the piano is simply a lot easier, so Hoshie got away with that, given that playing Mariah Carey's Hero isn't all that hard, and that I didn't even comment on her doing it well or not. People are drunk and enjoying their evening, who cares? Other than that, what do you think happens after practicing something for a while? That you don't get better?
every single kid, with no exception Ohs noes! Kids are learning! NO! MAKE IT STOP!
Aya and her home. Butterflies - only the chosen ones have an honor to went into namiki hosehold, 50 chapter forward, oh, are you in ANBU? I'm sorry you are hurt, come to my house
The butterfly effect - oh, I met you twice and you smell fine so come one Aya, in the beginning of Butterflies was abnormally paranoid, needing to identify everything that moved. As she grew stronger and smarter, she learned which people pose a threat based on their scent (strength) and their personality (only those she is allowed to study in neutral territory get this treatment). This is called personal growth.
I feel horrible for saying all of that (no, seriously no, i write about what i see) so at the end to finish with good aspect of the story i have to say that i love your way with Danzo. Coincidently my most hated character to write. We all know that he is a militarian, and we all know that people like him are important. You just need to be the one in control of them. Aya know about Danzo and ROOT but does not interfere, because she know that Konoha needs him. But at the same time You showed us that Danzo is not all bad. Danzo is the definition of bad news. Even in my story. He plays along because he sees gain for the sake of Konoha, this doesn't make him a good person. In fact, you shouldn't assume he isn't a complete douche even now. He realized that Aya is important to his village, she bring to them more power. He doesn't want to control her, he try to protect her. I call bullshit on this. He knows he CAN'T control her, not the same thing. He tried, she flipped him off. He's intrigued, maybe. He KNOW HER WORTH. That I can agree with. With the way the story progresED she would be the only one acceptable as a Hokage to him. She demand respect and she gets it. Her home within Konoha is a stronghold within stronghold. Again, that I can agree with.
So yes, that's about it (even if i'm sure that i fogot about few things), I feel better now. *Pats you on the back*
Review 2:
Yeah, that would be interesting, but unfortunatly they can't put such a scen in a film for kids. In an adult version that would probably happened :D This is referring to my 'bend her over and fuck her comment. Yeah, no, I don't ever seeing that happening in a Disney movie.
But besides that? Aya and her pack don't have big problems and hardships. Everything they encauntered this far is not threatenig towards them. Everything goes right and never wrong when they show up, they always find an answer that they seek, and they do it abnormally fast. There is no supreem threat. Even situation with cloud is not something important and dangerous. With the power they posses? Easy thing. Only war would be something unpredictable and big when you add akatsuki into the picture. And yet it would be boring because you have all important characters on one side and on the other all the villians put together: cloud, stone, akatsuki. Okey, maybe i'm exaggerate but You made it all look so easy to them. With Sound as a example, Orochimaru was gatering freaks upon freaks, and yet in all that Arc there was nothing threatenig. You only mentioned Jugo who in Anime traded few blow with RAIKAGE
and deidara... the most epic person, died as a first one T.T Okay, I'm just going to take this all in one swing. There are two kinds of conflict: internal and external. Aya's entire LIFE is rife with internal conflict. Just because you're looking for this ultimate badass fight or her burning down half the Elemental Nations, does not mean Aya's going to get that. Since this review has been posted, Aya's shown that she PURPOSELY avoids those exact fights, because she DOESN'T WANT TO FIGHT. A clear cut sign pointing towards an internal conflict. If I wanted my story to revolve around this, I'd announce the story as 'Action' genre, not [Adventure/Friendship]. But, maybe that's just me. As for Deidara? Someone had to die first. As seeing as Aya's attack tactic is mostly assassination based, I think it's fairly easy to argue that she tries to take out people as efficiently as possible. But… maybe that's just my cutesy feminine logic working against me. -_-
Review 3:
I wrote this on the phone so there may be much more mistakes or weird words. Sorry *blinks* oka~aaaay…
Hmm, you don't understand my point of view but thats something i was expecting with taking into acount my poor english. I have problems with putting into the words what i think and we misunderstand each other. My foult. Understanding and agreeing aren't the same. I understand where you are coming from, but I disagree with you. My greatest issue with you is that you come across as condescending. And that isn't something I take well to.
But yes, I say that Aya have it easy now. I realize that in the begginig of the story the shit was hitting the fan almost all the time. And she was working hard for it to work. And in my point of view by comparison she have it easy now. Please refer to my internal and external conflicts comment from the previous review. Just because you do not identify the severity of the internal conflict, does not mean it is not there.
Why i am anonymus? In my mother language fanfiction practicaly doesn't exist. Almost no one takes interest in it. So there is no point to bother with writing when no one read your work and no one make you realise your mistakes, and there is no room for progres. So making a profile means you have to write? I have a lot o ideas for fanfic, but there is nothing to do with them. Here in section with english language there is a ton of readers and writers, but my proficiency with english is as i said poor. I'm unable to make them work. So i simply don't have an acount here. But if you want, i can give you my e-mail. And how, pray tell, will I get said e-mail address? Are you going to leave it in a review? And as for your ideas? Why not pitch them to someone so they can work it out? Or why don't you try to write it out in English and have someone correct your mistakes and teach you how it works in English? The basis for a good story isn't the language, it's the ability to convey an idea, not the ability to write pretty words. Or if you wish i can hold back my tongue and say nothing as i was from the begining to this point. Heh beginig, you had only 3 chapters in butterflies when i found you :D I… really don't know how to respond to this. I'm tempted to say that little things like "Loved the chapter" or "I can't believe that happened" might offer something. I'm glad you enjoyed my stories, but seriously, check your tone when writing. Because the way you come over to me is, again, condescending.
Last review:
And i say that you blowed my mind right now. Yes you were hinting at the fact that she is unstable but the moment inoichi got to see that she should be forcefully removed from shinobi corps, have removed rights to lead namiki clan and be forced onto intense yamanaka care, along with separating her from the young ones. Ah, yes. Because there are no other jounins with the same problem? Like Kakashi, Gai, Anko, Ibiki… In a world where this is the norm, all you can do is learn to roll with it. With something like that she is unable to do anything. You said so yourself, her situations is so extraoridinary that even yamanaka clan doesn't understand what is going on in her head. No one know what to expect from her and lets not forget that she have knowledge about vilage secrets and is extremly powerful. She can one day woke up and decide to fuck this shit and go frenzy. (Wolves fights among each other, they can kill their packmates and leave young ones to die) Quite right. Now, what about Tsunade? Drunk, gambler, and yet the Hokage? Hmm? Maybe you should look at the world as it is. Everyone's a little crazy, some just happen to wear their craziness on their sleeve.
You made yet anotherone big turn with her psyche and personality. What you were hinting and what you showed us is like to compare a deskrol or bike to a truck or train. Or… maybe that there is more to her than you see? Go back over the whole story, read between the lines. It's been there the whole time.
I know that is not what you intended to do and you interprete (?) this completly different than me, but thats my opinion. Probably i'm the only one who think that way but still No, lots of people think the same way, it's just that I'm subtle with my writing. Even Seto (my Beta) doesn't know the subtle twists I plan into my stories. I love reading stories like that. Where if you read the whole thing the second time around, and REALLY look at the little bits and pieces, you see a whole other level to each interaction. Where you see the subtleties of the inner conflicts on plain view the whole time, but simply never noticed. I write what I love to read. Nothing more.
I'm sad, really sad because i have different point of view and i simply don't get what you are trying to show us here. If that is the way you intend to go i will have to unfortunatly leave this fic because its too frustrating. It pains me because i really liked your work, but now i just dont get it and cant agree with this :(. Its too much. I wont annoy you anymore Ah yes. "I disagree with you. Goodbye!" Uh huh. Seriously? Dude. I'm not going to miss you at all. If you do not like my work, don't read it. Simple. I'm not going to sit here and beg you to stay when you want to leave. I'm more worried about my pathological need to explain myself than I am about having a disagreement with your point of view. In fact, I think I'll quote Aya's inner-bitch for you: They always gotta bitch and moan and monologue, like their version of reality is the shit and we're missing out. Congrats, CursedOne, you're exactly the kind of person I (Aya) was talking about.
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End Bonus Content 2
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A/N: Seeing as I still want to post other things I still wanted to talk about, but don't want to drag this out, I might (but then again, I might not) post another Bonus Content chapter. Or I might just wait for the next hundred reviews. We'll see.