Disclaimer: if wishes were horses, we'd all be in a rodeo! and I'd have the whole DC comics corporation in my pocket. Sadly, I can't even ride a horse.

yeah, I said I'd update sooner, but writing an action scene, let alone things with villains is hard for me. I'm always getting hung up on them. Also, I keep coming up with more and more interesting ideas! Thankfully they're mostly one shots, but came up with a great AU story I'll work more on after I've finished this. It's for Batman/comics if you're interested, but only after I finish this, 'Without Me' and 'Slade Plan B'.

Plus watched the leaked eps a few weeks back. ^^; frankly, I shouldn't be watching anything when I should be writing. it messes me up. But, I have to say, the end of the first season made one of my internal plots much more realistic! just a little bit.

Without any more waiting, let's have cake!

Where's Robin?

Ch. 14 – For the Love of Cake

"But I wanna stay for the cake!" Timothy Drake shouted as his mother Janet led him towards the door. The tired parents and socialites exchanged glances for a brief moment but held firm. They had a six year old to put to bed, and eight was his bed time. If they left now, they'd be in time to miss the majority of the traffic and be in Bristol by eight fifteen. Their boy would no doubt fall asleep in the car like always.

"We can have cake another day," his mother bargained, still pushing her boy down the hall.

"BUT I WANT CAKE NOW!"

"TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE!" The six year old jolted into a stiff posture. Every kid knew they were in deep water when their parents used their full name. Especially at night time. His dad's scowl on him pierced him to the core and ended all protests. "Stop your whining! You're tired and ate too much already. No cake for you until you can behave, is that clear?"

Pouting and stifling a tear, he nodded. "Yes sir."

His dad relaxed a bit, regretting using the tone of voice he had. "Good. Now I need a hug. Mind giving one to me?"

At this the boy lit up and happily wrapped his arms around his dad's neck. He heard his mom's soft chuckle and felt her warm hand smoothing his hair moments later. His father continued to hold onto him as they made their way out the door. They weren't the only guests to leave early on account of children, but they were one of the few families to finish the rest of the meal. They were just going to miss the cake.

As they made their way out the door, Timmy spotted the delivery truck and cake coming out of it. He gave the scene a curious scowl and started thinking out loud. "That cake looks wrong."

"Does it now," his father responded without looking.

The boy nodded, still watching the people taking it out. "And the people with it look funny. One of them looks really weird."

"Just a marketing gimmick," his mother assured him. She too was more focused on putting this little boy to bed over looking at what could have been their dessert. Janet opened the back door of their car and let her husband secure their bundle of joy in his booster seat.

Timmy kept looking over to the new caterers and the cake they were delivering, scowling towards them. The really weird one had a really big smile, but there was nothing good about it. And there was something… fake… about the guy. A dark feeling threatened to fill his chest as his parents took the front seats and he finally managed to look away. "I don't think I want cake anymore."

"If you insist," his mother humored him as the engine turned on.

"Can I have his slice then?" his father joked. Quicker than the mom's annoyed glare, Jack put the car in drive and the three of them were off.

Wally worked really hard to control his speed as he took down the latest electronics smash-and-grab thief. Conner was working on the driver, making sure no one could match the car damage to meta-human abilities. Their careful work to stay off the Bat's radar was so far working, but they moved south to make sure their random heroics weren't spotted. They'd have to head north later to stay out of the Fashion District and the other likely areas higher end criminals would strike. So long as they stayed away from the crazies they should be fine.

Well that was the intention. It completely changed when the speedster saw the news report on one of the TV screens. Summer Gleeson had just connected with the on location reporter Vicki Vale at the Hill's dinner party (just another tactic to gain support among the higher class Gothamites), and the cake had just rolled out.

Wally had to look twice at the screen, his jaw dropping as he recognized the caterer pushing the large cart. It was one of the crazies who escaped from Arkham the other night! He saw a picture listing of them in the previous day's paper. Not Joker or Scarecrow, but definitely a crazy enough person for that madhouse. Whatever reason he was at the mayor's house that night couldn't be good.

"Crap. Con!" As the clone looked up at his current alias, his friend grabbed his wrist and started running. Really running.

"What the… Wal… Easton, what's going on!" Conner didn't like being pulled at superspeed by his teammate and frequently placed his feet on the ground in an attempt to keep up. Half the time he succeeded. The other half, well, he was glad the speedster had practice pulling people along for the ride. Not like it would hurt him much but still…

"The mayor's home's under attack," Wally explained, not slowing down. From what he remembered when he talked to Robin, the mayor's house was in the City Hall District, south of them. Hill didn't want a long commute to work, and he was a lawyer before he became mayor. Finding the place shouldn't be too hard, considering he had guests.

The clone blinked. "Isn't that more a job for Batman?"

"He might be one of the guests." Conner was still confused, clearly not understanding what he was talking about. The speedster shook his head. "It's something I figured out a long time ago. Batman has a lot of awesome, expensive toys. My uncle works a full time job and can only pay for the mortgage and his metabolism. How can Bats afford all the things he uses?"

"Um…" the idea really was a worthy question. "He won the lottery?"

"Either he's among the Gotham Elite," Wally persisted, "or one of them is his backer. Either way, I've got a hunch he'll be needing backup."

"I thought we were going to lay low!" Conner tried. But the speedster only continued running.

"Plans change," he murmured. "These heavy hitters out right now, they're chemists, and one of them likes to use other crazies to do his dirty work. Besides, rather have the Batglare than no Gotham waiting for Rob when he gets back."

The clone would have gripped his head in resigned frustration but found the G-force from their momentum keeping his limb behind him. This was going to be a long night, he just knew it.

They were about half way through the Fashion District when suddenly they were pulled off the ground. "What the!" "Hey! What gives!"

"About time we found you." Both vigilantes jerked their heads around to the source of the voice, feeling guiltier by the second. Kaldur's disapproving glare stung Wally a bit, but it was nothing compared to the growing fear in Conner from Megan's sharp scowl. She was more than just angry at him, and he knew he was in for it when they were finally alone. The G-gnomes never said a thing about teenage girls and their emotions when they taught him at Cadmus.

"Oh, hi Kal," Wally tried, pretending for a moment like nothing was wrong. "Hey there beautiful. Mind if we—"

"You are lucky the League is not here looking for you two," Kaldur interrupted, glaring up at them darkly. "We had to lie to Red Tornado as to your whereabouts."

"Look, we can explain-" Conner started, only for Megan to cut him off.

"Explain? We're far past just explanations Conner." Quickly she named off every reason she was angry with him. "No note, no phone call, not even mentioning for a second you wanted to come here, didn't even tell me, didn't even think about school tomorrow, going against League rules, probably making every other Leaguer worried out of their skulls, didn't even think ahead about food or shelter—"

"I'm sorry!" the clone tried, almost pleading for the girl's forgiveness. "I… I just couldn't stand still anymore. I thought, with all the things on Batman's plate, the least I could do is help him out until Robin got back."

"Batman has managed without Robin in the past," Kaldur insisted, glaring at the two boys still floating in the air.

"He's also managed without the League," Wally reminded them. "Doesn't mean he doesn't need help once in a while. Anyway, we need to get going. Something's going to happen at the mayor's place real soon and—"

"What makes you think that?" the Atlantian asked, wanting to know how the fastest boy alive could come up with this when he knew nothing about this city.

A scream and a few shouts filled their ears in the streets near by. Everyone jerked their heads on reflex towards the noise. They exchanged looks of caution before Kaldur made a motion to Megan. Still upset, she slowly let the boys' feet touch the ground so they could find out what happened. Within seconds they were with the crowd looking at the large TVs in the fancy window display, watching the chaos unfold.

Kaldur looked at the bottom of the screen, reading the location of the event. He grimaced then looked over to his friends. "You win. Think Batman will—"

"If we're quick about it and no one gets hurt, of course not!" Wally grinned as he grabbed their leader and dragged them back into the alleyway. Once out of sight, the speedster ran off with him, letting Megan use her telekinetics to fly her boyfriend to the location in question.

The aliens looked at each other for a moment before taking off. Megan was still upset with him, but Conner's sorry expression and the promise to talk about this later was enough to settle her for pounding bad guys instead of him. For now. They had a party to save.

It was just his bad luck Bruce didn't see the madmen coming in and surrounding the room when the cake rolled in. Cheryl had demanded his attention again while waiting for the dessert to come rolling in and it was harder than it looked to distract her with someone else. She really was dead set on sucking him dry. And because of her incessant chatter and pulling on his arm, he hadn't noticed who pushed in the cake until the dizziness in his head set in.

He wasn't drunk. Judging by the way others around the room were responding, it was a gas. Some people were gripping their heads earlier than others, and right then they were crippled with nausea and vertigo. Bruce himself felt as if he were driving a car on a boat. Like others, he looked around the room for an exit, but each of them were covered by one of the caterers.

That was when he recognized a few of them. Including the cake pusher, there were six Arkham escapees there. The other dozen or so men were among the many thugs he'd taken down over the years. Some were new, but only a handful. A quick look at them told him this. A second let him see the gasmasks and air tanks.

Too late he reached for his utility belt to retrieve his own gasmask only to be held on by his date. In his dizzy thoughts he realized he wouldn't have a chance to change before things went south. Cheryl wouldn't let him and the drug in the air was inhibiting his movements. Part of his mind knew the only way out of this was through the League's help. The other half prayed this was just a simple mugging and everyone would come out fine after a few minutes.

Finally, once everyone was displaying symptoms of the gas, the last reporters standing fell towards the ground. At the sound of one of the camera's crashing, the giant cake exploded. Everyone at the tables were covered in frosting and pastry, some wiping it off before going back to gripping their heads.

"I'm sorry, did I miss my cue?"

Bruce's eyes grew wide despite his growing vertigo. That voice… Like everyone else, he looked up to where it came from. One of the cameras was retrieved by a thug and pointed far above them. From the skylight, Joker was lowered down while standing on what appeared to be an elaborate bomb.

Slowly the two worst things to combine in Gotham City were lowered onto the cart once carrying the cake. Once at the end of his ride, Joker leapt off and bowed, grinning madly.

"Thank you, thank you. I know you were all expecting me to just leap out of the cake in my birthday suit, but let's be serious. It's been done." He paused for a moment, looking around at the ill captive audience of his. "What, no round of applause for originality? And I thought it was bad just catching you all with egg on your face. Hmmm…."

He leaned over a table and slid a finger down one woman's face, taking off some of the cake. He put it into his mouth, tasting it critically before making a face. "Hmmm… More vanilla in the frosting next time Chuckles. Kids these days…"

Joker shook his head in disappointment before looking about the room again. He spotted the Hills and quickly bopped his head as if he were remembering something. "Oh silly me! Where are my manners? I need to give my contribution to the lovely hostess!"

"No…" Mayor Hill's wife started in horror despite her vertigo. "Stop!"

"Oh, but you'll love this." As if he didn't have a care in the world, Joker waltzed over to the head table, one hand going into the inside of his purple jacket. "It's a real breath of fresh air."

When his hand left his coat, it was filled with plastic flowers. He cordially bowed to the misses, extending them towards her face. "See? Not all that bad at all is it?"

The mayor's wife flinched only for a moment, but then her vertigo made her lean towards the flowers. Joker squeezed the base, releasing a large puff of gas which shrouded her head in seconds. "Then again…"

In the back of everyone's dizzy minds, they knew what was going to happen even before it started. First she coughed, then snickered. It grew to a chuckle within moments, finally ending with heavy laughter. A laughter that wouldn't stop. Joker grinned at her before turning to everyone else. "See? Don't I know how to give a girl a good time?"

Bruce gave a low growl, glaring daggers through his fingers. His vertigo and nausea was crippling him and the gold digger on his side had made it impossible to move. As much as he wanted to leap up and wring that clown's neck right then, he couldn't. He hated feeling like this. Useless.

Joker cast the crowd one more mocking grin before looking straight into the camera. "I know you're watching this Batsy, so listen up.

"I've got five more bombs like this one," he tapped the one of the cart, "rigged to explode all around Gotham before sunrise tomorrow, all in places you'd like. Some just go boom, while others will bring a smile to your face. But don't bother chasing me down for them. I didn't place them so I don't even know where they all are! So listen to this. You've got less than twelve hours to find them all before you little kiddos out there get to learn the joke of the century.

"Now normally this is the part where I demand money. Don't really feel like demanding it when there won't be anything stopping me from taking anything I want after tonight. Instead I want cake. Good cake. Better than any other cake. I want Wonder Woman's cake, the cake of the gods. Yummy good ambrosia cake. So be a good little bat and get some from your girlfriend for me will you?"

The Billionaire nearly fell from his chair at that demand. Seriously, why were people putting him and Diana together all the time! And Ambrosia cake? Joker's antics had reached a new low, and his insanity earned him even more time in a padded cell.

The mad man continued. "Oh and I want a little bird too. Flame broiled and seasoned. I'm all ready to carve him up if you are."

Before the detective could stabilize his grip on the table to stand, something was thrown into the one working camera. It too shattered on the ground, sparking continually. The mad clown grinned more, turning around and up to see who had done this. "Well it's about time Bats…sy…"

Now in the skylight everyone could see four teens' silhouettes, the light of the Batsignal shining behind them. Encased with shadow, one of them spoke calmly.

"We are not Batman."

A/N: yeah, this is me writing Joker. Originally I was gonna have him come out of the cake in a stupid bathing suit, but this sounded better.

As for the wonderbat pairing, I'm not against it since it's cannon in one of the animated tv shows of awesome, but I haven't found proof in this one of them being together so I'm just making it a rumor and a run on joke. Me pairing him with Selina is more likely anyway.

Yeah I had wally kinda figure it out with Bats having to be rich. I mean, he isn't stupid. Thank goodness there's lots of Rich people in Gotham.

Liked the end of Timmy's cameo? Not planning on using him again in this story but who knows about the future. He was kinda an accident here anyway. =P

Til next time! ^^V