CH 5
No, I will be the Pattern of all Patience; I will say Nothing
As hard as Shepard tried getting back to normal over the next few days she couldn't. Since whatever happened that night did, things had been a little weird. I mean how do you go back to making jokes after you almost slept with your Commanding Officer? The truth was you didn't. They both knew that they had opened pandoras box and that closing it wouldn't be possible. Even though they agreed this wasn't the time, it couldn't change what was there. Garrus still felt drunk off her scent. She still trusted him with her life. What really had changed… well, besides everything.
Shepard noticed how Garrus watched her like a hawk on the battlefield and after a few missions she felt them slip back into their familiar roles on the field. Best friends… Partners. No matter what they were, that wasn't a discussion for today. They could think about personal feelings once they nailed that son of a bitch Saren. Once he was in custody and the Reapers had been stopped, then she could think about herself.
Things had been tense between Garrus and Kaidan though since that night. The two of them always seemed to be at each others throats. It had been obvious that they never really liked each other, but things were more tense somehow. It was usually Kaidan starting it though, and Garrus being the hothead he was couldn't help himself. He kept falling for Kaidan's tricks every time. It actually was pretty annoying to everyone on the ship, but most people knocked it off to Kaidan's L2 implants making him irritable. Maybe that was part of it, he did get terrible migraines from them… Shepard knew it had been more than that though.
If Kaidan hadn't become a good friend of Shepard's these last few months, she'd have kicked him off the ship ages ago. The two of them never were as close as she had been with Garrus, but they still had something. Shepard knew their bond had to do with their first big mission together on Eden Prime. It felt like so long ago… And honestly she felt like he helped keep a balance to their team usually. Maybe not as much right now with his blatant disregard for Garrus, but in general he was a good man and he had honorable intentions.
That night at Flux Shepard had been laying on the charm pretty thick and probably gave Kaidan the wrong idea about them more than once. But what did he think would happen? She honestly did like Kaidan a little. He was cute, and innocent. He was loyal to the Alliance like a well trained varren, which now that she thought about it maybe wasn't the nicest comparison. But she meant well. Bottom line was she respected him as a soldier. Kaidan was never anyone she could be with romantically though, maybe a one night stand but nothing more. He was far too judgmental and that same dog like quality she admired in him was one that she also hated.
Shepard sat in her quarters reading a book. She loved technology but there was just something wrong to her about reading fiction off of a data pad. Shepard's favorite thing on Mindoir had been her mothers book collection. She wasn't able to retrieve them all due to the fires, but many years ago she made a trip to her old family home. Almost everything had been destroyed, or looted. She found that the fond memories she had of that place were no longer so. Instead replaced with flashes of death.
Even with such extensive damage, she managed to find a few things worth saving. Some of it she had with her, but most of it was in a random apartment back on the Citadel that she hadn't even had time to move into. The Council gave it to her, part of being a Spectre I guess. But what good is an apartment if you never have the ability to use it? Well, at least this way she had a really nice, really free, storage locker. One thing she always kept with her though was the book she read from now… The pages smelled old and brought back memories of her mother and sunlight.
"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody." Shepard read aloud to the empty room.
She had been reading The Catcher in the Rye. Shepard had always been drawn to this book. Mostly because it was about a young soul struggling with himself, trying to make it from one place to another. Dealing with the person he was, meeting the person he was to become. She related to Holden. Yeah, debatably he was insane… Okay, he pretty clearly was insane. But, no one was perfect.
Shepard had her fair share of baggage. Seeing the shit that she had didn't leave you untouched. She really was okay though. Shepard knew those things happened. She chose not to let them run her life, but be a part of it. She saw a part of herself in the book. Maybe a part of herself she knew she couldn't change, but needed to learn to live with. That running didn't solve anything— she couldn't be like that. Not ever.
Every time Jane read that book she saw something new in it. She saw something differently…Maybe that was the real reason she loved it so much. Well, that and her mother always had liked it. She would have loved to read this book each year with her mom, talking about what they got from it this time… But that could never happen. This time when she read it she felt how relatable that last quote had been. She had gotten too close to Garrus and his absence from her day to day life left her empty. She not only missed his company, but she missed everyone she ever had but couldn't hold onto. She felt lonely in a ship full of friends. Her and Garrus may have been the same when they were out on a mission, but ever sense that night he had changed.
The Normandy had been a place they could always relax, wind down and talk. Shepard almost started hating being on the ship, because it meant he would be off calibrating and avoiding her. She half saw this coming though really. Shepard had acted on impulse and now she was dealing with the consequences. She wished again for a moment that this hadn't happened. Having this awkwardness between them was distracting. It would have been better to just keep her feelings secret. Thank you, alcohol.
Tossing the book to the side she groaned and buried her face into her hands in aggravation. w
What have you done you idiot.
As if the universe saw her breaking, her pleading was answered. Joker piped in over the com letting her know that the Council was on the line for her. Not waiting for him to disconnect she was already up and on her way to the debriefing room. They had information on Saren. A Salarian reconnaissance team was stationed on a planet called Virmire investigating reports on Saren. This was their first real lead in months. Since they had done everything in their ability up to that point Shepard directed Joker to the Hoc system. Shepard felt hopeful that maybe this would be the mission they would catch him. Maybe then they could… No. Not now.
It took about 12 hours to reach Virmire from their location. Shepard's ankle had long healed and their night together was slipping away like a distant memory. The anticipation was killing her, she could feel something big was waiting for them there. But what was it? Those hours seemed longer than their whole 3 plus months flying around chasing leads that went no where. She felt anxious and restless. Not even her models could keep her busy.
Garrus spent most his time down in Engineering even when the rest of the crew had been spending time together in the Mess Hall. Anytime she would drop by for a visit he would claim to be busy calibrating something. If he didn't want to come up to see her, did he also not want her to go see him?
Probably. He just realized this was all a mistake and now he's just avoiding you at all costs until he can get the fuck out of there.
It hurt to think about. This was a very real possibility though, so she forced herself to think on it a bit longer. If nothing else having thought about it so much should make the pain of it being reality a little easier. Even with her doubts, she told herself to try one last time. When she realized he wasn't going to be joining them yet again, she decided that now was as good a time as any. They were best friends after all right? It was perfectly normal for her to walk down there to talk to him. Plus this was HER ship, she could go wherever she wanted.
Shepard had been holding onto the sniper she picked up for him since that night. She didn't know if it would be even weirder now that they had… She decided she spent the 300,000 credits and god damn it, she was gonna get her monies worth. Making her way to Engineering gun in tow she grew anxious. When the doors opened she saw his familiar shape to the right by the Mako. His talons clicking away at the console no doubt calibrating something… No doubt avoiding her… She stood in the elevator clutching the gun watching him.
"Are you just gonna stand there all night, Shepard? You know I can smell you right?" Garrus asked after a few minutes not turning to face her. She could tell he was being playful so she stepped out of the elevator slowly approaching him.
"You can SMELL me? That's just creepy, Vakarian." She laughed standing behind him stiffly, she could feel her heart racing.
Garrus finished up turning to face her. His face was light and his mandibles held lose to his face. He looked deeply into her eyes sending her stomach into knots. After a second he slid his eyes down to her hands where she gripped a Spectre requisition riffle. Her fingers turning white from holding it so tightly. Shepard let out the breath she had been holding, loosened her grip extending the gun to him.
His mandibles twitches as his jaw lowered in surprise, eyes filling with confusion. She swallowed closing the space between them placing the gun into his hands. Garrus looked down at it in a complete loss for words. Garrus had known how much these riffles cost… He knew how often he complained about his current sniper but it was mostly out of fun never meant to make her feel obligated to replace it.
"I picked this up when we were on shore leave. I'd been meaning to give it to you earlier actually. It just didn't seem like the right time." Shepard didn't look at him but kept her eyes on the riffle he now held.
"And now is?" Garrus asked with slight suspicion in his voice as he studied her, noticing she wouldn't make eye contact.
"I think so, yeah." Shepard nodded moving her eyes to meet his finally. "I got a bad feeling about this one, Garrus."
He didn't say anything. But as she said that he knew she was right. This mission was different. Garrus just continued watching her. It wasn't like her to talk like this. What did he know though, they hadn't really done a mission like this before had they? Plus, he had been distancing himself from her…He hoped that the space would help them focus on the mission. That maybe these feelings would go away, and they could just be friends again… Even though he wanted more. He wanted her. Being alone with her proved the distance didn't help.
"There's something big on Virmire. I can feel it. If something happens, I just wanted you to have it. I just wanted you to know that I'm proud of you. You've become a really close friend of mine… " They both stood there in silence and after a second her tone changed- it was lighter, more like the Shepard he knew. "Plus, you've had that damn riffle for too long. It's time for a new one. I have more credits that I know what to do with. Please, just take it and shut up." She smiled her big smile.
Before he knew it he had reached out, grabbing the side of her neck and face lightly. Garrus pulled her close to him. The riffle slid from his fingers to the floor as he wrapped his other arm around her holding her closely.
"Garrus…" Shepard breathed into his chest heavily. "We…" She stopped when he tilted her neck up to face him.
"Thank you, Jane." He leaned in and their foreheads touched. They stood there, embracing each other not saying a word.
The hours past and they were in orbit of Virmire. Reaching the ground team had been relatively easy. The three of them were dropped with the Mako on surface with one goal: Reach the STG. When they landed they were able to truly admire Virmire. And boy was it truly beautiful, it was warm and tropical. Garrus mentioned that it reminded him of home, of Palaven. Shepard found herself wondering about his family during their drive. Garrus never really spoke about them but she had found out he had both of his parents and a younger sister names Solana. From what she could tell, they were all on speaking terms, but Shepard had known how strict Garrus' father was. She remembered back to one of the first times they spoke, Garrus had told her that his father would hate her… It didn't bother her then but now when she thought about it she didn't like the idea.
When they made it to the camp, things went from kinda sorta okay, to pretty bad. Their arrival on Virmire hadn't been a secret, all the geth forces and probably Saren had been alerted to the Normandy's arrival. Great. As if that wasn't bad enough they had all been informed on what Saren had been up to these last few months. He had created a cure for the geneophage. How he managed this, none of them knew. A cure was the furthest thing from the Council's mind, considering the reason it was created to begin with. The worst part was that he wasn't doing it out of the goodness of his heart. Saren created this cure to breed an unstoppable krogan army.
Just what they needed, right? Well, Wrex seemed to think so. He threw a complete fit sending the crew was into shambles. Ashley had always been suspicious of him, and this temper tantrum wasn't helping. He had a point though, the salarian Captain had referred to the krogan race as a 'mistake'. Wrex had every right to feel defensive. None the less, this wasn't the time to be dividing their team so Shepard went to speak with him.
"Wrex, are you okay?" Shepard stopped next to him watching as he shot bullet after bullet into the water aimlessly.
"What do you think, Shepard? Saren is the only one helping my people… He's the only one that even cares if there is a cure. How can I just sit back and let you destroy the only hope the krogan have?" Wrex asked loudly, anger was filling his voice.
"Wrex, I know what you're saying but you have to listen to me. He is not trying to help the krogan. Saren is breeding an army of mindless slaves. If we don't stop him, you won't even be around to reap the benefits." She stood tall and straight, trying to keep her voice both strong and non-threatening.
Shepard noticed Garrus standing behind Wrex about 12 meters away watching intently. The rest of her crew hadn't noticed their heated conversation, but of course Garrus had. He held his new riffle tightly not blinking. If Wrex was going to make a move, he would be faster. Garrus could understand where Wrex was coming from. Hell, as crazy as it sounds he even considered him a friend. But if it came down to Wrex or Shepard he wouldn't have hesitated to pull the trigger.
"Shepard… God damn it!" Wrex pulled his gun on her pointing it at her head.
She didn't move. She didn't blink. She kept her arms lightly raised, and her brows straight. "Wrex, please. You have to know this isn't the way. Those aren't your people. We have to stick together."
Shepard glanced over at Garrus who now had his riffle raised, eye to the scope- ready to fire in a moments notice. The look she gave him made him stand down, he hoped this wasn't one of those orders he'd regret following.
"You…. You're right." Wrex lowered the gun after a moment speaking again. "You've done a lot for me, Shepard. I don't like it. But I'm going to trust you." Wrex turned forcefully leaving her on the beach alone.
Garrus ran up to Shepard afterwards, standing a little too close. He reached an arm out placing it on her shoulder. She slid her eyes from the sand to meet his. She let out a deep breath pinching the bridge of her nose. Was she really trying to stop from laughing right now? After all that?
The answer was yes. She was. She dropped her hand letting out a deep laugh. "Well, I think that went pretty well." She smiled up at Garrus, his hand still on her shoulder, the distance between them growing smaller.
"I don't know what I would have done if he pulled that trigger…" Garrus moved the taloned hand from her shoulder to chin holding it lightly.
"I can handle an angry krogan. It's gonna take a lot more than a bullet to kill me, Garrus. You should know that." Shepard leaned into her hip crossing her arms.
"You're still human, Shepard. You don't have to do everything by yourself. You're not… alone here." His hand still rested lightly on her chin. Shepard swallowed looking up at him feeling her pulse rising steadily.
"I know." She smiled sharing a look with him. Trust. Understanding.
Shepard turned hearing Ashley walking towards them. She looked on edge, they all had been since they heard they'd be heading to Virmire. Shepard thought maybe she was the only one who felt something here, but it was clear that everyone knew something big was waiting for them.
"Commander." Ashley nodded to the both of them as they stepped apart a little too obviously. "Kirrahe would like to speak to you. I think it's time to get this show on the road, Skipper." Ashley said as they all turned, walking to the tents.
After a long, and very enthusiastic speech to his men; Kirrahe turned to Shepard and explained the plan. If you could really call it that. The Captains 'plan' required a lot of risk, skill and pure blind luck. He was going to split his men into 3 groups. Most of them would attack the front of the facility as a distraction while Shepard's team snuck around back. The ultimate goal was to arm a nuclear bomb on the facility blowing it all to pieces. But, he needed something else. They all knew the risks- that most of them would die… That's what made Kirrahe's next question so hard. He would need one of Shepard's crew to assist him.
The decision wasn't easy. Both Kaidan and Ashley piped in stating why they'd be the better choice. However Ashley made a better argument- they would need Kaidan to arm that bomb. Knowing the risks, they agreed Chief Williams would be the best choice in the situation. Captain Kirrahe told them to prepare because the more time they sat here, the more time was wasted. They all knew it was true. The time for goodbyes had come and past, but Shepard turned to Kaidan and Ashley with a sweet smile anyway.
"I'll make this short, we don't have a lot of time… But you two have been with me since the beginning. We're gonna get this son of a bitch. And when we're done, we're going to get really, really drunk." They shares a weak sad laugh, the heaviness weighing them down.
It was time to get this show on the road. Ashley went with Kirrahe while Kaidan back to the Normandy to prepare the bomb with the other team. Shepard brought Wrex and Garrus along with her on the assault. The back entrance was definitely easier to get to, but still was filled with enemies. Their initial push took a little longer than planned… Captain Kirrahe was killed. Ashley took it on herself to take over as team leader holding the line as Shepard's squad made their way through the base.
Finally the three of them reached Saren's lab. They were met by an asari named Rana. Begging for her life, she told them what the facility had been doing these last few months. Apparently Saren had been studying the effects of his ship, Sovereign on peoples minds. During their hunt they grew familiar with the the effects that Saren and his flagship had on those around them. But it seemed from his research that Saren was scared. He was studying indoctrination because he feared he himself may have been effected… Saren wanted to know how it worked. How to stop it. In exchange for the asari's life, although Shepard would never have killed her; Rana had given them full access to Saren's lab.
Finally, they would get some information. When they entered the lab however there were no desks, no data pads, no research… Only a big empty room with stairs leading down and the path in front of them to a catwalk suspended overlooking three large windows. There was nothing in the room except a beacon with a control panel below it. Not exactly what they wanted, but headache or not she needed to see what was on this one. She needed too see just who that console connected to.
Shepard slowly approached the beacon. Garrus had heard her describe what they looked like, what it felt like… but this was nothing like he could have imagined. The beacon stood tall and thin like a pillar. It had all different shades of green swimming as smoke around it. It lit up in some areas, moving like water mixing with blood down a drain. It seemed to be pulsing with energy. He had never seen anything like it. Garrus noticed her getting closer to the beacon, whatever she was going to do he didn't like it.
"Shepard…" Garrus spoke behind her that light purr almost like a growl.
"It's okay, Garrus. Trust me." Shepard didn't look to him, only reaching a hand back towards his direction.
Garrus held back himself back watching her fingers come into contact with the beacon. When she touched it, it pulled her up into the air forcefully. As if a string ran through her torso, pulling from her chest. The action sent the crimson of her hair back as her head hung lose behind her. Arms laying lifelessly to the sides. Garrus attempted to walk up to her but Wrex shook his head extending an arm to stop him. Reluctantly he knew Wrex was right. Shepard knew what she was doing, she had done this before… After a minute the beacon dropped her to the ground in a loud thud of albatic armor.
The two of them rushed to her side. Garrus kneeled to her as she slowly leaned up. Shepard shook her head letting out a sigh as he helped her to her feet. Garrus held her close as she grabbed her forehead squinting her eyes. He wasn't sure why, but he kept feeling himself needing to be close to her. Garrus didn't care that Wrex was there… He felt his instincts telling him to protect her.
"I don't think I will ever be used to that…" Shepard shook her head standing straight. After a nod to Garrus informing him that she was in fact alright she began again. "Good news is, I didn't pass out this time." Shepard threw him a reassuring smile. Garrus released his grip on her, but he stood close still gazing down intently.
What the hell was that? What happened couldn't be normal. It just couldn't.
He remembered Liara had said that it was remarkable that the beacon hadn't killed Shepard on Eden Prime, but now he seemed to understand how right she had been. After a moment allowing Shepard to collect herself, they noticed a flicker of red above them on the catwalk. The three of them approached the red hologram cautiously, as a figure appeared before them. It looked like a bug of some sort… Like Sovereign, Saren's flagship…
"You are not Saren." The deep grumble stated. It sounded mechanical booming like thunderous storm around them.
"Is this some kind of…. VI or something, Shepard?" Wrex voiced behind her looking up at the red ominous figure.
"Rudimentary creatures born of blood and flesh. You touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding." The deep red hologram taunted them.
"I don't think this is a VI…" Garrus answered softly.
They all felt a chill run through them. Something was definitely going on here.
"There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own you cannot even imagine it. I am beyond your comprehension. I am Sovereign."
"Sovereign isn't just some Reaper ship Saren found… It's an actual Reaper!" Shepard stepped back in shock lighting bumping into Garrus. She was actually talking to a ship.
No, not a ship. A Reaper. The Reaper. She was talking to an ancient, sentient machine. One that was responsible for the extinction of the Protheans. One that would bring about their extinction… She knew Virmire was going to be big. But she hadn't seen this coming.
"Reaper? A label created by the Protheans to give voice to their destruction. In the end, what they chose to call us in irrelevant. We simply are."
"There's no way this thing was there when the Protheans were attacked. That was over 50,000 years ago. It's impossible." Garrus said over Shepard's shoulder.
"Organic life is nothing but a genetic mutation, an accident. Your lives are measured in years and decades. You wither and die. We are eternal. The pinnacle of evolution and existence. Before us, you are nothing. Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything."
"No!" Shepard stepped forward pointing a finger at the hologram mostly out of habit, she knew this gesture meant nothing to Sovereign. "There is an entire galaxy of races united and ready to face you. We will stop you." She felt herself growing angry.
"Confidence born of ignorance. The cycle cannot be broken." His deep cold automated voice mocked her.
"Cycle? What cycle?" Wrex questioned growing aggravated behind Shepard at the hologram.
"The pattern has repeated itself more times than you can fathom. Organic civilizations rise, evolve, advance. And at the apex of their glory, they are extinguished. The Protheans were not the first. They did not created the Citadel. They did not forge the mass relays. They merely found them. The legacy of my kind. Your technology is based on the mass relays. Our technology. By using them, civilization develops along the path we desire. We impose order on the chaos of organic evolution. You exist only because we allow it. And you shall end because we demand it." The threat echoed around them in a cold dark monotone.
"Oh spirits… They're harvesting us! They let us advance to the level they need and then wipe us out…" Garrus ran a hand stressfully over his fringe shaking his head. Wrex bounced in place angrily, pounding his fist into his hand with a snarl.
The conversation continued and with each answer the room grew more tense. Shepard asked where they came from, but was given a vague, annoying answers. They had no beginning. They had no end. The Reapers were infinite… and even millions of years after she was dead the Reapers would endure. There was one thing Shepard knew for sure now, Sovereign was confident. Successfully wiping out cycle after cycle was bound to do that though.
Shepard had to figure out why the Reapers were doing this… What did they want? Did they want slaves? Resources? What could they possibly gain from these harvests. But her questions were met with more arrogance and little useful information.
'We are beyond your understanding. We are each a nation, all free of weakness. Independent. You cannot even grasp the nature of our existence.'
How could a synthetic machine be so irritating and smug? Shepard wasn't sure but she kept questions anyway. Never getting anything she could use didn't stop her from trying. Sovereign still stood as a red hologram so she kept asking.
"Where are the rest of you? Are you the last of your kind?" Shepard was almost shouting at this point.
"We are legion. The time of our return is coming. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. You cannot escape your destiny. You cannot escape your doom." Sovereign threatened.
"You're wrong." Shepard stepped closer again, her breath grew even. "You're not even alive. Not really. You are just a machine, and machines can be broken."
"Your words are as empty as your future. I am the vanguard of your destruction. This exchange is over." The deep mechanical said as it disconnected. The bright red hologram fizzed out and the room was replaced with empty silence.
Moments after the silence came destruction. The windows in front of them busted inwards sending glass at them. Garrus and Shepard turned into each other blocking their faces from the crashing.
"Fuck!" Shepard exclaimed looking around them at the mess.
"This can't be happening. There is no way-" But before she could finish Joker piped in through the coms, finally.
"Uh, Commander. We have some trouble up here!"
"Lay it on me, Joker." Shepard said back trying to remain calm.
"That ship? Sovereign? Yeah, well it's moving. I'm not sure what you did down there, but that thing just pulled a turn that would sheer any of our ships in half. It's headed your way, and it's coming hard! You need to wrap things up. And fast, Commander." Joker urged her as he disconnected.
"Shepard. What do you want to do?" Garrus and Wrex had both been looking at her as she stood staring towards the beacon in silence.
"The only thing we can. We have to arm that nuke. Lets go." She signaled for them to follow her and proceeded to the elevator to the outside of Saren's lab.
They made their way through the hordes of geth and krogan trying to stop them. Ultimately though they made it out with minor injuries. Nothing a little medi-gel couldn't fix-, at least until they could have Dr. Chakwas check them out. Any real damage had been masked by adrenaline. Shortly after reaching the rendezvous location, the Normandy landed to meet them. Kaidan ascended the ship with some of the STG nuke in tow. Just when it seemed like they were going to get this bomb off successfully, Ashley chimed over the com stating she had been pinned down. There was no hope for her, they were all going to die over there.
Shepard should have just enough time to get to Ashley while Kaidan finished arming the bomb. She would be able to get there, bring Ash back to Kaidan and they would all leave on the Normandy without a hitch… The bomb would go off. The cure destroyed… They would be okay.
Only for some reason Shepard knew that wouldn't happen. She had no reason to feel this way, they really should have enough time. But Shepard had felt something low in her gut on the elevator towards Ashely… Something wasn't right. Something was going to go wrong. Garrus looked at her, seeing the distress trickling on his visor. Smelling the fear seeping from her skin.
About halfway between Ashley and Kaidan, her fears had been confirmed confirmed. Shepard watched as a large geth ship approached the area where Kaidan was arming the bomb. As if on queue in came a crackle followed by Ashley's in her ear.
"Careful over there, LT. Reinforcements incoming."
"I know, they're already here…" Kaidan breathed heavily into the com.
"How bad is it? Can you handle it, Lieutenant?" Shepard stepped to the side, her breath quickened matching her heartbeat.
"Negative. There are too many. I don't think we can survive until you made it…" He said over gunshots, after a second he spoke again. "I am arming the bomb, Commander."
"What the hell are you doing, Alenko?" Shepard was pacing now.
"It's done. Go get Williams. Get out of here!" Kaidan yelled in all of their ears.
"Screw that, LT! We can handle ourselves! Go back and get Alenko!" Ashley shouted over them.
Garrus and Wrex stood back watching. Garrus could see her stats running wild on his visor, watching her walk back and forth. She knew then that she had to make a choice. This was what she had been feeling… Shepard had to chose between Kaidan and Ashley. The gravity of the situation was hitting her, sending her breath into a fit. Garrus watched her hair blowing in the wind rapidly.
Shepard leaned over the railing taking only a minute to think, knowing each second endangered the whole operation. Not just the two lives dangling in front of her. She had to react. She had to decide. Shepard breathed out heavily bit into her lip. The cool metallic of her blood running into her mouth, she sent a tongue out and began to speak.
"Alenko… Radio Joker and tell him to meet us at the bomb site…" Shepard's voice was heavy.
"Y-yes… Commander… I…" Kaidan began to speak but was interrupted by Ashley.
"You know it's the right choice, LT…" You could tell by the way she spoke that Ashley was scared. She knew this was the end.
"Ash… I'm sorry… I had to make a choice…" Shepard let out lightly closing her eyes, wishing there was another way.
"I understand, Skipper. I don't regret a thing." And Ashley disconnected.
Shepard lost control for a moment and kicked a near by crate, breaking it. If it hurt her foot, she couldn't feel it in that moment. Garrus walked up to her, pulling her into him. He held her face in his hands and looked at her, fearing he would lose her in that moment.
"Shepard. I know what this must feel like… But, we have to get back to Kaidan." Garrus felt her nodding in his hands, as she pulled away running back to the elevator.
When they reached the bomb site it had been overrun with enemies. Only this time a familiar face made an appearance. Saren. Finally. Garrus and Wrex had taken to helping protect the bomb with Kaidan. Shepard was ready to face Saren. Stepping out of cover she unloaded a clip into him, watching as nothing happened but a sizzle of his shields she let out a heavy sigh.
"I applaud you, Shepard. What an impressive diversion… Of course, it was all for nothing. I can't let you disrupt what we've accomplished here… You can't possibly understand what is at stake."
Saren walked closer to her. He had no weapons drawn, but still was terrifying. The unnatural blue shine in his eyes made her uneasy. The mechanical tubes running throughout his body. How had the Council not suspected him of being evil. Just looking at him he looked like a villain from one of those Blastos films. Hell, depending on how this goes he may be the NEXT Blastos villain…
"Why are you doing this?" Shepard pleaded still holding her gun pointed at him.
"You of all people should know what the Reapers are capable of… You've seen the visions from the beacon, Shepard. It cannot be stopped. They cannot be stopped. This is a pointless revolt… Do not sacrifice everything for the sake of petty freedoms. The Protheans tried to fight and they were utterly destroyed. Trillions of lives wasted… But, what if they had bowed down to the invaders? Would the Protheans still exist? Is submission not preferable to extinction?" He gazed at her pacing effortlessly like he knew she couldn't kill him.
"How can you truly believe that the Reapers would let us live?"
"Do you see now? How could I ever come to the Council with this… None of you understand. You're all driven by your emotions… If we would just submit to the Reapers… Do as they will; think Shepard of all the lives that would be saved… Once I understood this, realized what I could do- I joined Sovereign willingly."
"Willingly? You think you're somehow immune to the effects Sovereign has? To his indoctrination?" Shepard questioned stepping closer to him.
"I…I am aware of the effects of indoctrination. The more control Sovereign exerts, the less capable the subject becomes. That is my saving grace…" Saren was less confident than before.
"No, Saren. He has you under his thumb and you can't even see it." Shepard was shaking her head inching closer.
"Sovereign needs me! Without me he cannot find the Conduit. My mind is still my own!" He spat back, she could feel he was beginning to get annoyed filling with rage. "The transformation can be subtle… I am aware of this. But I intend to keep my mind as my own, Shepard."
Behind Saren, Shepard could see her squad fighting off mob after mom of husks. They were trying to engulf them, running at the bomb. Each one had been stopped before making contact as she knew the would. Her team was good. They could do this. Shepard made eye contact with Garrus for a second, the look he saw in her eyes he didn't like. She turned her gaze back to Saren.
"Saren…" Shepard lowered her gun, placing it on her hip. "Together we can stop Sovereign… We don't have to submit to the Reapers, we can beat them!"
Garrus watched her lower her gun and felt his stomach drop.
No. Oh, please no. Don't try to talk your way out of this, Shepard.
Before he could indulge his fear further he was forced to continue defending the bomb.
"I no longer believe that, Shepard… The visions cannot be denied. Our only hope of survival is to join them. I am forging an alliance between us and the Reapers… Can't you see none of this has been for myself? I did this for the galaxy. This alliance is the only thing that will keep us from total extinction. It is inevitable… This is the only way…. You…. You would undo my work…" Saren grew hot with anger as he started stepping towards her. "You would doom our entire civilization into complete annihilation!" Saren stomped closer to her closing the gap his arm stretched towards her.
"For that, you must die, Shepard."
Shepard fumbled for her gun but he knocked her off balance grabbing her by the throat. Saren pushed her backwards into water that ran at their feet, holding her head under. Shepard struggled gasping for air, her arms swinging aimlessly searching for a face, something to hit. Her legs kicking under him. After a moment Saren pulled her head out shaking her. Shepard gasp coughing out water, stumbling to find her breath. Saren pulled her through the wadding water lifting her by the neck. She felt what little air she had left in her lungs leaving her body as she struggled at the taloned hand gripping her. Shepard could feel his talons puncturing either side of her neck, the warm blood trickled down into her armor. Saren was squeezing so tight she felt the world fading to black… she was going to lose. She was going to die.
Garrus noticed Shepard losing consciousness in his hand, her arms dropping from the grip around her neck. He had to do something. Immediately Garrus focused on Saren, unloading a concussive shot into him. The blast caused Saren to stagger, giving Shepard enough time to react; she quickly pulled her fist back, unloading it with full force into Saren's face.
He dropped her, falling backwards into the water. Shepard landed with a splash gasping, trying to focus on something. She grabbed her neck seeing white specks swimming all around her. Everything was black in the moments before, she couldn't make out her surroundings. The darkness was replaced by an overwhelming white and a moment later she felt Garrus grabbing her frantically. Shepard had been coughing, fumbling for her gun. Aiming at nothing. Searching for Saren.
It was too late. He had already started his escape and the sound of the nuke's countdown boom loudly around them. Watching Saren soar away as she struggled to breath was incredibly difficult for Shepard. She tried speaking but couldn't, he must have bruised her windpipe or something… She couldn't focus on that right then with the alarm blaring she knew they only had minutes left. Garrus looked at the blood that ran down her neck, shooting her a look of pure unchecked rage.
Shepard quickly shook her head at him, there wasn't time for this. Not now. He knew the look she had given him to be true. The time for vengeance would come. Now they needed to met up with Kaidan and Wrex. Now they needed to get the hell out of there.
The Normandy made it out of orbit with mere seconds to spare. They had won in a sense. Shepard finally had the missing piece of information they needed. The piece that would crack the case wide open. They had blown up the 'cure' and most of Sovereign's krogan army. They knew without a doubt that the Reapers were real, she had spoke to one. They knew that they were coming. There was no hiding from their destiny any longer. Shepard didn't like to think about the damage that would happen if the Council wouldn't believe her…
Shepard had been rushed to Med Bay for her injuries. Dr. Chakwas was not happy, and Shepard didn't look good. Her neck having the worst of it, she had a fractured Larynx and two crescent shaped cuts on either side of her neck each about an inch in length. Her neck was decorated with a large brown-purple bruise from side to side. Shepard couldn't really speak, which made relaying any information they'd discovered really difficult.
Not that it mattered though, Dr. Chakwas wouldn't allow Shepard to join with Liara yet. Shepard needed to rest for at least a full 24 hours. Doctors orders. It was a good thing she had no voice to protest with because had she, the doctor wouldn't hear the last of it.