CH 6
Tis one thing to be Tempted, Another thing to Fall
It had been three days since Virmire. Since Shepard had found out who the real queen on this chess board was. It had been three days since her injuries and since her altercation with Saren. It had been three days since she chose to save Kaidan over Ashley. It had been three days… three days of feeling responsible. Feeling guilty. Three long days of waiting, not being able to do a damn thing. Three days without Chief Williams.
Garrus even found himself missing Ashley. He'd look over to his right expecting to see her… But she no longer stood there. She was no longer working on their weapons. The space was just empty. It was no secret that they weren't the best of friends when initially meeting, but like most the crew they became closer than expected. Ashley had started out very suspicious of the aliens on board the Normandy. After all those missions working alongside Wrex and Garrus, she had warmed up to them. He even considered them friends. Garrus could see that Ashley had changed for the better… Shepard had helped Ashley like she helped him. Like she had helped everyone.
Shepard was released after 24 hours as promised. During her short stint in the Med Bay Garrus had visited her about once an hour until Dr. Chakwas made him to stay. Shepard found it funny how Garrus mysteriously didn't have any more calibrations to run all of a sudden. It was in moments like that where Shepard could forget about Virmire. When she could forget what was coming. Although it was nice to have a taste of blissful ignorance, she could never stay distracted for long. Her mind always went back to that day. Back to what lie ahead.
The crew hadn't taken Ashley's death easy, but being part of a the military you sort of had to expect this kind of thing from time to time. Preparing for something like that mentally versus actually being faced with that decision was very different. Even so, the crew and Shepard bounced back. Or at least on the outside. They had to be strong. Shepard had to be strong. The fight wasn't over. They could mourn the dead later when the galaxy had been saved.
Shepard lay in her quarters listening to music. Something old and slow that her mother would have liked. She tried focusing on getting better and not on all of the things she had to do once she was. The past few days Garrus had taken to visiting Shepard every night. He made a habit of staying until she had drifted off, knowing how hard it was for her to sleep. Tonight was no different. A light knock at the door let her know that Garrus has there, right on schedule.
"Shepard. How are you feeling? I'm not sure what this is, but Alan told me you'd like it." Garrus walked to her handing over a plate full of food.
"Oh, you know. I'm still standing, right?" Her voice cracked often and was weak.
She missed Ashley. Shepard had learned all about her family, and her personal history. She hated being alone because anytime she was, she'd imagine Ashley's sisters finding out the news… That their oldest sister would never be coming home. She looked at her plate of mashed potatoes, chicken and broccoli. Food was the last thing she wanted
Being alone with Garrus had been the only time she was allowed to feel anything. When she spoke to the crew, she had to be the pillar of strength. A shining example. Their leader. But with Garrus, she could talk about how it really felt to chose between the lives of two close friends.
Sitting there staring at her food, she thought back to the night after they returned from Virmire. Just two days ago, but it seemed like another lifetime before. Shepard really hasn't been doing well, she had lost a considerable amount of blood from the cuts. Luckily, there was no serious damage.
Everyone had been clamoring to see Shepard in the Med Bay when she came to a few hours later. Chakwas refused to let anyone in, and had sent anyone attempting away. Garrus had just about enough of this waiting. He saw what happened to her, how weak she was… How much blood she had lost. He needed too see her. He had to know she was okay. Before he could protest further they heard the mechanical buzzing behind Chakwas; revealing a very defeated Shepard. She stood heaved over in her hospital gown. The deep red of her hair was a mess, strung all over the place and laced with blood and ash.
Garrus checked her vitals as he scanned her body inspecting the damage. The first thing he saw was the deep dark purple that laced her neck between the bandages on either side. He noted a few cuts and bandages on her arms from weaker areas in her armor… Bruise after bruise decorating her pale skin. She had a black eye and her lip was busted… Garrus stared at her with his mouth hanging open, his mandibles loose to his face. Shepard looked into his eyes and he immediately pushed past Dr. Chakwas, wrapping his arms around her. Garrus held her head lightly in his hands pushing his face lightly into her neck. He could smell the blood and tears. The smell of the water and sand from Virmire.
Shepard stood there eyes closed holding him back. She couldn't speak, but she didn't need to. Garrus just held her tightly, she wouldn't dare move. Not only that, but he couldn't let her go, if he did she would be vulnerable again. Garrus had to protect her.
"Shepard… I must insist you get back into bed. You've lost a considerable amount of blood and you're barely stable as it is." Chakwas urged her after a moment touching her on the shoulder, she was still pressed into Garrus and Chakwas noticed the fury behind his eyes.
After another moment Garrus nodded seeing reason, leading Shepard back where she should be. He sat down on the bed, with his back to the wall. Shepard slowly inched closer to him, curling into his chest and neck. He ran his fingers through her hair, holding her tightly. There were so many things she wished she could say then, but even if she could find the words she didn't have the voice. She didn't have the courage.
That night now felt like years ago, but here she was only days later trying to pretend nothing happened. Shepard's neck was still a deep purple, and she could barely speak. Garrus watched her eying the food and wondered what she had been thinking that night after Virmire. They may have had a silent conversation then, but the words she wished to say still clung to the back of her throat. He watched as she tucked her hair behind her ear taking a bite of whatever mush was on her plate. After a moment of poking stuff around he watched her place the plate on the table.
"It's been hard to eat, ever since…" Shepard started but he shook his head and she knew she didn't have to finish.
He noticed this. She had hardly eaten since that day. Garrus didn't know how to help her though. He couldn't exactly force feed her could he? Well, at least not yet.
"Shepard, listen." Garrus moved to sit on the bed next to her.
"You can't save everyone. I know thats not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. You risk your life every day for the Council— for civilization. Doing the dirty work that they don't want to deal with. You've saved more lives than anyone in this damn galaxy, Shepard… Ashley was a good soldier, and she died with honor. She died knowing that all of this was bigger than she was. You heard her. She doesn't regret a damn thing, Shepard. This isn't your fault. If anyone is to blame, it's that bastard Saren. But not you, never you." Garrus' voice reverberated in a raspy purr comforting her.
"I know. That doesn't make it feel any better though. I still feel responsible. If I just could have done more…I should have done more." Shepard shook her head sinking her face into her hands.
"Damn it, Shepard. You are so damn stubborn, you know that don't you?" He pulled her attention to him. He knew there was no use in trying to make her admit that he was right- she didn't need to admit it. He knew that ultimately she saw what the cost of war was. She had to pay the price, and she would have to continue paying it.
Part of her did know he was right. She had been faced with an impossible decision. There had been no getting around this one. Shepard had no idea why she chose Kaidan over Ashley truthfully. Maybe it had been because he was with the nuke. Had their positions been reversed would she had saved Ashley instead? What if she had flat out said no when Kirrahe asked for one of them to accompany his team…
There was no use in thinking like that though, and she knew it. What was the point in fixating on 'what ifs' or possibilities. The reality of the situation was that she could only save one, and whatever her reason had been; she chose to save Kaidan.
Alenko was the only one that took Ashley's death worse that Shepard had, and rightfully so. He and Ashley were pretty close friends, and being the one chosen to live another day had left him with a serious case of survivors guilt. Kaidan felt like he was cursed to force people into life or death situations. The weight of this was heavy for him, and he grew worse after Virmire. He wasn't as good at controlling his actions or emotions as Shepard was.
It was almost as if Kaidan blamed Garrus for everything that had gone down on Virmire. Everyone had been angry and sad that Ashley had died… The night they returned to the Normandy after Virmire was tense. Garrus and Kaidan had both had been on high alert after narrowly missing the nuke's detonation range. Shepard was unconscious and had lost a lot of blood. Ashley was dead. Saren had escaped.
After Kaidan had found out that Chakwas permitted Garrus to stay with Shepard that night, he had a full blow melt down. Garrus wasn't sure why the biotic felt he had more of a right to see Shepard than he did, but it pissed him off. Shepard and Kaidan may have been friends but what he had with her was so much more. Had something gone on between them that he didn't know about? What Shepard did really wasn't his business… But he found it hard to believe that she could ever be with someone like Kaidan.
That night after Virmire, Kaidan went so far as tossing a chair at Garrus after their argument grew overly heated. Garrus almost lost control of himself, wanting to beat the piss out of him; to teach him a lesson. But he heard a voice in the back of his head urging him not to. Urging him to be a better man. So Garrus just left and allowed Kaidan to continue his temper tantrum alone.
Garrus was in better control of himself since he had met Shepard, somehow the chaos that threw everyone else into madness had somehow grounded him. He could see the recklessness on Lieutenant Alenko, and he felt for him. Garrus had been there. To Kaidan, Saren had killed Ashley and he had gotten away. To Kaidan, Garrus had been the one separating him from Shepard. And given their history of not quite seeing eye to eye, Garrus had been an easy target.
No matter how aggressive Kaidan would act towards Garrus these last few days, he held his composure. Not only for the biotics sake, but for his own and for Shepard's. He knew how important it was to her that he be a better man. After so long of her believing in him, he even began believing in himself. He watched himself turn into the man she knew he could be. Seeing that made dealing with Alenko easier. Regardless of how they felt about each other, Garrus could see it was his desperate cry for help.
Garrus' mind returned to Shepard where he sat with her on her bed. Her food had grown cold, and he knew she wouldn't be eating it. He put his long arm around her pulling her closely into his side. Shepard looked up at him, as he reach a taloned hand out towards her neck. Lightly he ran his thumb over the yellow and purple marks, over the crescent shaped scab held together with tiny stitching.
Those marks infuriated him. How hard he must have been squeezing her to have done this much damage. Humans were so fragile, and despite being full of strength Shepard was human. Garrus would make Saren pay for this… He felt that better man taking the back seat, allowing his old self full control. As if she could hear his thoughts growing dark, she shook her head.
"We can't kill him, Garrus. Not unless he gives us no other choice… He knows too much." Shepard looked up at him, trying to speak clear but her voice barely above a whisper.
"Shepard, come on. The Council protected him once, who's to say they won't do it again? If we have another chance at him, we can't let playing nice get in the way of stopping him. We can't give him a chance to escape. He can't get away with this, Shepard. He can't get away with hurting you. I won't let him." Garrus was speaking louder; a growl rumbling through him with each word.
Garrus felt himself growing increasingly frustrated. He had been so focused on keeping the husks off the bomb that day, that he didn't have her 6. She had been forced to face Saren alone and he had almost lost her because of it. Garrus hadn't been able to stop Saren from doing this to her… He hadn't been able to protect her.
"You couldn't have stopped this, you know that." She was shaking her head him. "And even if you could have— you can't let vengeance rule your life anymore, Garrus. You can't be a slave to your impulses. You're better than that." Shepard sighed out as best and as clearly as possible.
Shepard was weak, and there wasn't much more that she hated more than feeling hopeless. It reminded her of Mindoir… of the attack on her colony. How she hid while her family was slaughtered around her. While the batarian slavers set fire to her home, as she watched her life melt away around her. Weak and cowardly.
Garrus moved his hands to either side of her face, holding her gently. His face was only inches from her now. He lowered his brow and met hers, eyes closed. "I won't let him hurt you again, Shepard…" Garrus spoke and before he knew it he had kissed her.
The kiss was soft and long. He missed the way she felt so much, the taste of her. After a moment their mouths parted and they shared a look. They both knew that this didn't mean they'd be together. No, it wasn't time for that- if they ever were given a chance. This kiss had been given simply to remind each other why they were fighting. That if they did this, if they made it… They would have each other.
The following morning Shepard woke next to Garrus. They had fallen asleep in her cabin again. It was nice to actually get some rest, although she had to imagine he couldn't be very comfortable. Shepard couldn't wait any longer, this joining needed to happen now. She called a meeting shortly after waking and the crew assembled in their usual spots. Liara was eager to see what new information this beacon would give them… All their hard work and determination would pay off in just a few minutes. Liara approached Shepard and when she nodded, those familiar words slipped from Liara's lips.
"Embrace eternity!" Liara's eyes blacked out and the room spun into visions from the beacon.
Shepard was in the bright orange of her vision. Engulfed by the noises and screeching in her head, surrounding her. She saw the death, chaos and destruction again and felt that sickly worm like movement wiggling under her skin. No matter how many times she experienced this it always overwhelmed her. She always lost herself in the moments she was in the beacon.
Nothing ever changed though, she always saw the same thing. The same message she couldn't understand. Liara never really understood much either truthfully. But it was still really helpful to have someone who could at least see that there was a puzzle to be solved and knew where to look for the pieces. Moments later Shepard's vision faded back to the Normandy and she sway in place catching her balance. Garrus had already been standing behind her ready for anything. When she didn't falter, he relaxed a bit.
"By the Goddess…" Liara breathed raising her finger tips to touch her mouth lightly.
"What is it? What did you see, Liara?" Shepard asked urgently.
"It was… Well, it was a distress call. It was a message sent across the entire Prothean Empire— a warning, Shepard. Only, this warning came too late." Liara shook her head in disappointment.
"Was there anything about the Conduit? Anything we can use?" Shepard tried to remain calm but it was hard.
"I recognize some of the locations from my research…" Liara began to pace rubbing a blue finger on her forehead deep in thought. "Yes! Ilos! The Conduit is on Ilos, Shepard! That is why Saren has been searching for the Mu Relay, it is the only way to reach the planet." Liara spoke excitedly.
"But if that beacon gave the location- why hasn't Saren gone to it? What's stopping them… Why aren't the Reapers here already." Shepard held her composure but Garrus knew her well enough to know she was stressing out.
"We have to get to Ilos."
"Forget it, Shepard. The Mu Relay is inside the Terminus System… Alliance ships aren't welcome there." Tali interjected.
"If the Conduit is on Ilos, Saren will be there. I don't know why he isn't there already… Hell, maybe he is. Maybe we're too late already." It was hard for her to speak but she tried her best. "So what if the Alliance isn't welcome there, Tali? Do you suggest we just give up because things stop being easy? Nothing this whole damn mission has been easy. We make do. We persevere." Shepard said with strength building in her raspy voice. Tali knew she was frustrated, and didn't mean anything by the tone she had taken.
"Well, we can't do it alone. If Saren isn't already there, he will be soon and he will be prepared. We will need reinforcements, Shepard." Garrus added over her shoulder.
"Garrus is correct. We must alert the Council, we will need the fleet t- Ohhh." Liara stopped dipping her head again. "I am sorry… You know how tiring the joining can be… I must rest." She finished and with a nod Shepard dismissed her.
"Joker. Get the Council on the line." Shepard let out lightly and left the room.
A brief chat let her know they needed her to report to them at once. They would need a full report on Virmire and her recent discovery. She complied and the Normandy reached the Citadel within the hour. The ride up to the Citadel Tower had been longer than she remembered. Shepard felt herself growing increasingly antsy. She could feel they were already on borrowed time. How had Saren not already reached Ilos, it couldn't be more than a few hours travel. Shepard had been resting for about 4 days. What had been going on… What were they planning?
The Council was relaxed of course, completely oblivious to the danger that approached them. To them Saren would be weaker without an army of krogan. With Saren's army destroyed and his plans out on the open for all of Council Space to know, they had pretty much beat him. Shepard knew how naive they were to think this way, but they had a point. Even if they were wrong about who that army actually served, they would be near unstoppable with the krogan. Having them gone was a win. The mission had been a success. But it was far from finished, the real battle was ahead of them.
Shepard tried explaining to the Council that Sovereign wasn't a ship. He was a Reaper. They almost laughed at her when she made these claims. They condescendingly questioned her. How could this ship be a TRUE AI? And a Reaper at that? It wasn't possible. The Reapers were a myth, and Saren was using them as a scare tactic. When Shepard pleaded with them to believe her, that Saren had even admitted it she was shot down. Obviously, he was playing her. Regardless of how they had felt about the Reapers, they had finally taken action against Saren. That was something.
"If Saren is foolish enough to attack the Citadel as you expect, we will be ready for him. There are patrols everywhere— he will not succeed if he attempts this attack, Commander." The asari Councilor spoke.
"Do you honestly think a few extra barricades are going to stop Saren? He is out there looking for the Conduit right now with Sovereign, what are you going to do about THAT?" Shepard asked forcefully, her voice still cracked with every word.
"You cannot be suggesting what I think you are, Commander. Ilos is in the middle of the Terminus System… Sending in a full fleet would enact a full blown war. Saren no longer has the benefit of secrecy on his side… He has been exposed. The time for discretion is now." The salarian Councilor replied smoothly back.
"You want discretion? I can be discrete. Send me. I can do this." Shepard tried being patient.
"You think detonating a nuclear bomb on Virmire is what we would call 'discrete'?" The turian Council finally spoke. Anytime he had ever opened his mouth it was to condescend Shepard or shut her down.
"The Commanders…. style has served her well in the past." The asari replied facing the turian Councilor, almost as if it was a challenge. After a moment she continued to speak, turning to face Shepard again. "We recognize that. But Ilos requires a deft touch, Shepard. We have the situation under control."
"Sovereign is the real threat here. Saren is just a pawn of the Reapers." Shepard was growing angrier with each raspy word that escaped her lips.
"Enough, Shepard. Only you and your crew have seen 'The Reapers'." Growled the turian Councilor using finger quotes at her. Oh how she hated finger quotes. "And even so— only in the form of visions, or a hologram as you say. We will not invade the Terminus systems over a bad dream."
"If Saren finds the Conduit, we are all screwed. Everyone you know will die. Do you understand how big this is? This isn't just some bad dream or hallucination. This is real and they are coming. We have to go to Ilos!" Shepard voice was raised as her heart pounded her ribcage. Her throat burned, she shouldn't be talking so much after her injury she knew this. But what choice did she have, they wouldn't believe her.
Garrus had a very hard time not speaking out during this conversation. It was maddening to see the Council behave this way. How could they continue denying what was coming for them? How could they not trust Shepard or her abilities by now. She had been out there doing everything they didn't want to for the last 3 and a half months, but they wouldn't trust her now.
"Ambassador Udina, I get the sense that Commander Shepard isn't willing to let this go." The Councilors tone was even more condescending than usual.
"You have done a great deal for humanity, Shepard. We have made great strides under you… But you are proving to be more trouble than you're worth." Udina voice was patronizing.
"You bastard!" Garrus' composure finally broke, he couldn't handle it anymore. He had let this charade go on far too long. "You're selling us out. After everything that she's done for you, you pompous ass. Not a single one of you could have done what Shepard has. You'd all have been dead already if not for her." His words echoed like a growl, and his gaze like a hawk steady on the Ambassador.
Shepard had intercepted, placing herself between Garrus and his target. She stood tall and straight looking up at him. They both were breathing heavily in sync. With smallest shake of her head, she urged him to stand down before he would do something he'd regret. After a moment Garrus turned swiftly moving to stand by Wrex. Udina quickly wiped the fear from his face and replaced it with arrogance. He scoffed at Garrus straightening his suit.
"It's just politics, Commander. You've done your job. Now let me do mine… The Normandy is grounded. We've locked out all primary systems until further notice." Udina wasn't looking at her when he spoke this time.
"This has to be a fucking joke. You have no idea what you're doing, Udina. You're going to be responsible for every life lost because of this." Shepard stepped closer to him finger pointed in his face.
Shepard's voice was quiet enough that the Council wouldn't hear. She meant what she said. They had locked her down… now one would be able to stop Saren. He would find the Conduit and the Reapers would continue their cycle. All life as they knew it would cease to exist…
"You are no longer needed, Commander. The Council can handle it from here." Udina voice radiated with smugness, it took all of Shepard's control not to knock him out.
Anger filled her every fiber, boiling under her skin. She could see this was a battle she wouldn't win with violence though. Throwing Udina another look of disgust Shepard turned leading her crew to the elevator. What could she do now? They never should have listened when the Council requested a full debriefing in person. They should have just gone straight to Ilos alone… took their chances. This was what the Council had been up to. They laid a trap. One she walked straight into, and now she was stuck with a ship she couldn't fly and her borrowed time was running out.
Shepard went swiftly to her cabin upon arriving back on the Normandy. Garrus had been following closely behind watching her carefully. He noted how fast her heart was racing in his visor. Smelling the metallic of her blood, no doubt she had bitten her lip too hard in frustration. The second the mechanical buzzing closed behind him, she kicked her desk with such force it sent her half assembled model flying in every direction. Shepard set a hand on her hip pulling the other over her mouth, licking the blood that had formed. She began pacing the room lost in thought. Garrus just stood in the door way watching her, not saying a word.
After a few minutes she let out a long sign and sat forcefully on the edge of her bed. She leaned her forehead into her hands looking down at her feet. After a moment Garrus walked over carefully kneeling beside her. Reaching one of his long taloned hands out pulling her from her thoughts of failure. His hand felt warm on her face and she leaned into it closing her eyes.
"It's not over, Shepard." Garrus' voice was a soft purr, hearing him speak she felt her anger subsiding. "I meant what I said in there. No one could have done what you did. No one. And for them to just toss you aside like you were nothing. Like the last 4 months doing everything they didn't want to meant nothing." Garrus removed his hand from her face, sliding it to his own.
"I almost lost it in there, Shepard…" He looked down at his feet thinking about how bad his temper could be.
"But you didn't." Shepard's voice was a whisper, pulling his attention back to her face. "There's nothing to be done about it now, Garrus. It's done. We can't keep fixating on what might have happened." She had said this mostly for herself… For Ashley.
"We need to focus on what is happening instead. If Saren gets to that Conduit, they're all going to die. We're all going to die." Shepard hung her head in defeat, the gravity of it all was hitting her hard.
"Then we won't let him get to it. If we give up now the whole galaxy is doomed, Shepard." Garrus said flatly.
"We're not giving up, Garrus. We will find a way." She looked back to him with strength in her eyes and voice. "I told you, we're gonna get this son of a bitch."
They had been grounded for 12 hours. Shepard had been miserably failing at keeping busy. Garrus provided much needed distraction most of that time, but he wasn't even enough to keep her mind still. When Joker chimed in over the coms with news Shepard almost exploded with excitement. It may have been very late in the evening, but Shepard was to meet Anderson at Flux nightclub immediately. Shepard hoped that he had something for her. She quickly ran down to Engineering and once the elevator landed she yelled from the chamber, holding the doors open with a foot.
"Vakarian. Wrex. Suit up, we're going to Flux." Shepard called out to them already in her albatic ceramic armor with the N7 stripe down the right.
"You want us to suit up to go to a night club, Shepard. Did the dress code change since last time we were there?" Garrus asked with a purr making his way to his locker.
Wrex hadn't questioned, only making a small grunt and proceeding to armor up. He was always eager to get off the ship to shoot something. Although the chances of a fight in the Citadel were very low, he was still hopeful.
"Would you rather black tie, Garrus? I bet you look real good in a suit." Shepard smiled at him as she crossed her arms sinking into her hip.
He just raised his hands defensively doing as she requested. It only took them a moment but they were suited and making their way to the exit. Before leaving the Normandy Shepard spoke over com to Joker.
"Joker. I have a feeling somethings up. Be ready for anything."
"You got it, Commander." Joker replied, no jokes this time.
They arrived at Flux soon after and found Anderson sitting at a table by the bar. Shepard found herself looking towards the bar where Garrus had been that night with that turian… She found herself replaying that night in the moments as she walked to Anderson. When they had been together on the Docking Bay… Throwing Garrus a look, the one he returned proved he had been thinking about that night as well.
"Anderson." Shepard smiled sitting down across from him, Garrus and Wrex stood behind her.
"I'm glad you came, Shepard. I heard what happened…" Anderson started taking a drink from his glass.
"Yup. We're grounded." She leaned back resting her elbow on the back of the chair with a sigh.
"I know. I tried to warn you, but it was too late. Listen, Shepard. I know you're pissed off right now— and rightfully so. But you can't give up. They all may think this is over, but we both know that isn't true. You have to get to Ilos, you have to stop Saren from getting that Conduit."
"You think I don't realize that, Anderson? I know what's at stake here. But there is only one ship that can get me there, and she's grounded."
"Ambassador Udina was the one to order the lockdown, if we can override his orders we can get the Normandy back online. We can get you in the Terminus System before anyone even notices you're gone." Anderson offered taking a sip from his glass slowly.
"If we do this, you're going be the one left holding the bag, Anderson." Shepard shook her head at him in protest.
"Yeah well, if Saren gets to that Conduit then all life as we know it will be over. The Reapers will destroy everyone, Shepard. You're our only hope. So, yeah. I will do whatever it takes to get you and the Normandy out of here." The look he gave her was full of admiration and she felt herself straightening in her chair. "I think our best bet would be to go to Udina's personal computer where the order had been placed and redact it…" He was thinking, swirling the amber liquid in smooth circles.
"Anderson, If you do this Udina will have you charged with treason. There is no going back." Garrus added lightly from behind Shepard.
Shepard looked at Anderson knowing this was it. If he succeeded they'd be off an a suicide mission and he'd be left dealing with a capitol offense. She hated the idea, but she knew it was the only way. The alternative of doing nothing would be catastrophically worse.
"Alright, Anderson. You be careful, Sir. Let's do this." Shepard stood shaking Anderson's hand firmly.
They shared a look, maybe it was a goodbye. Anderson nodded at her, wishing her luck one last time before they parted. On the ride back to the Normandy she thought fondly of Anderson. He had been one of the first Alliance officials she had met. After the raid on Mindoir, Shepard had been found hiding by Anderson's ground team. She had been too young to enlist at that time, but he offered to take her off planet to an Alliance compound where she could live and be taken care of. Shepard had declined, she wasn't ready to leave her life on Mindoir, and he couldn't exactly force her to join them. Although thinking back she wish she would have gone with him.
No matter how she got there, Shepard still ended up joining the Alliance two years later. Anderson had been one of the first people she worked under after enlisting. Over the years he seemed to fill the place of a father. She didn't really realize she thought of him that way until her cab ride to the Normandy. Until she realized how unconditionally he trusted her and her abilities. Anderson believed her since the very beginning… He had always believed in her, and she wasn't about to let him down. If he would sacrifice himself, so would she.
Shepard paced the Normandy cockpit staring at the HUD. Joker had been watching intently ready to leave in a moments notice, the second the lockdown had been lifted. Garrus stood to the side of the door watching as usual. A few minutes later, the lockdown had been lifted and they quickly left the Citadel. Shepard wondered how everything went, but clearly Anderson had made it because here they were— on their way to Ilos.
The trip had only taken about 6 hours, and each minute that passed was harder than the last. Shepard could feel that their time was almost up. If they had only found this out sooner they could have been there, could have solved this problem. Now she felt like they would be relying on pure luck.
Having the stealthiest ship in the galaxy made their arrival fairly secretive. They had expected to see Saren's army, but seeing how large his fleet actually was made the reality much more prevalent. There were dozens of geth ships surrounding Ilos. Even though the Normandy hadn't been spotted yet, there was a problem— there was no space to land safely before they'd be detected.
Yes, they had the most advance ship in the Council space, but it didn't matter because at some point they would be seen. They had one chance to get this landing right. Once they reached a certain altitude level, the geth and Saren be alerted. They'd be forced into a fight.
A stir of commotion echoed the cockpit as Liara, Kaidan and Presley began speaking at once. The nearest landing zone was two clicks away. Two clicks too far away… They needed something closer. Clamoring to find a solution, they settled on a rather ridiculous move; they would drop in the Mako above their primary target… Joker could do this. No one was comfortable with this and many spoke out in protest, but Shepard knew he could. With a reassuring look they attempted their landing.
It hadn't been easy, but they had made it down to the surface of Ilos. The Normandy had successfully made a trip that was deemed impossible. Suicide. Shepard made a career out of doing the impossible and this time was no different. Their descent hadn't been a secret though as they expected and they were met with heavy resistance immediately upon touching ground. After the initial geth troops had been dealt with Shepard was free to examine the Protean ruins with Liara and Garrus.
Shepard thought it would be best to bring Liara given her knowledge on the Protheans. She figured Liara might kill her had she gone down there without her. Well, if she made it back up to the Normandy afterward that is.
The ruins were gorgeous. The architecture was unlike anything any of them had seen before. The ruins were tall, pale, with long geometric lines scaling the buildings. Everything had been overrun with native plant life and trees the sizes of skyscrapers. 50,000 years really did a number on Ilos. It was fascinating. But they didn't have long to enjoy it, the deeper they got into the city the more resistance they were met with. Geth after geth tried to stop them, but finally they were able to get the Mako through the main compound. This was for sure where Saren would be… The troops had been trying far too hard to keep them out for that not to be true.
Upon driving through they had been met with no resistance. Garrus had been driving the Mako this time, as Shepard and Liara examined the walls. They seemed to go up forever. They were lined with pods of some sort, no doubt where the Protheans had tried retreating during the invasion. After a few minutes of driving they were met with a tall blue barrier blocking them from going any further. They had no choice but to exit the Mako to explore their surroundings.
They found an elevator, with no other options they took it down. It lead them to a large open room, the walls were made of stone and lined with the same markings as the ruins. There were several life support pods sticking from the narrow walls. Those large trees from the surface broke through filling the space around them. Down a long catwalk was a VI terminal. Shepard looked back at Garrus, approaching it.
With a light red flicker, a static figure pulsed in front of them. The VI was called Virgil, and it was badly damaged. You could barely make out the figure that it should be under the waves of flickering red energy.
"I do not sense the taint of indoctrination on any of you. Unlike the other that has passed recently. Perhaps there is still hope." Virgil ended.
"It said 'recently', Shepard. Maybe we aren't too late." Garrus voice was excited, hopeful even.
Liara and Garrus wondered how they could understand the VI. It was obviously Shepard had been given the ability due to her cipher, but that didn't explain why Liara or Garrus could understand it now. Virgil told them he had been watching them since their arrival. Observing and it had learned their language. It was incredible. Virgil explained what he was, who created him and that they were in a research facility. When Shepard questioned why the Protheans brought her to Ilos, Virgil explained that the cycle had been going on for millions of years.
"You must understand in order to stop this. The Citadel is the heart of your civilization and the seat of your government. As it was with the Protheans, and every civilization that came before us. But the Citadel is a trap. It is actually an enormous mass relay that links to dark space. The space is an empty void beyond the galaxy's horizon. Once the Citadel's relay is activated, the Reapers will pour through. Life as you know it will be destroyed." Virgil's monotone boomed at them.
She couldn't believe this. Any of this.
Virgil had told them that the Keepers were likely one of the first to be harvested by the Reapers millions and millions of years ago… They had originally been placed there by the Reapers to help repair and usher the next group in the right direction. But over time, the Keepers had been altered to work only with the Citadel not against it. They were no longer under Reaper control.
Shepard knew what all of this meant. This meant that the Reapers had a backdoor into the Citadel. They could take out everything, and everyone with one single surprise attack. This was how the Protheans met their end. How every civilization before now had met their ends…. The Citadel. The heart and soul of the galaxy, would be the very thing bring about their destruction. The Reapers would come through the one place no one would expect. In the previous cycle, it was the center of Prothean civilization and with its fall it was only a matter of time before everything else fell after.
Eventually they lost control of communications, and transportation was crippled. Each planet and system was isolated— cut off from the rest of the galaxy. It took decades, but the Reapers systematically obliterated the Protheans. Almost no one survived, the Reapers had everything they needed in the archives of the Citadel. They enslaved or decimated everyone. The Reapers only retreated back to dark space once they had destroyed all advanced civilization; taking all resources, evidence and technology with them.
"Tell me what I need to do." Shepard felt the weight of his words, but wasn't ready to give up. Not yet. They still had hope.
"The Conduit is the key. Before the Reapers attacked, we Protheans were on the cusp of discovering the mysteries of the technology behind the mass relays. We brought you here, because this was a top secret facility. The researchers here had created a small scale version of a mass replay. This relay connected directly to the Citadel: the hub of the relay network." Virgil's cool voice finished.
"The Conduit isn't a weapon… It's a relay. It's how Saren gets to the Citadel." She was shaking her head.
If this had been true, why hadn't they gone through it sooner? Why hadn't Saren already attacked the Citadel and started this cycle in full? She couldn't understand but she didn't have the time to worry about it. He hadn't yet and that is what really mattered. They still had time. They could stop this.
Shepard wondered how the facility had remained hidden during the invasion, how was this possible. Virgil informed them that the facility records had been destroyed once the Reapers hit the Citadel and all official records had been destroyed. The empire was falling, but Ilos would be safe. Once communications went dark, the facility went underground into these very archives for cryogenic stasis.
Virgil's job had been to monitor the Reaper threat, and once it had been neutralized he was to wake the facility. Only, the invasion took centuries. With Virgils energy reserves dwindling part of his programing allowed the shutting down the life support pods of non essential personal. It was crucial that if anyone were to survive, that it be the top scientist.
It may have been monstrous like Liara mentioned, but it had been necessary. It was terrible, but the VI had only done what it was programmed to do. Shepard could see what the Protheans saw as a possibility had been reality. They were prepared to do whatever it took. Shepard didn't like it but she respected it. She understood it. The courage it would take someone to install those perimeters… It was the cost of war. Virgil was right, his actions were the only reason there was any hope left. After waking the remaining scientists, they soon realized that there was only one option. Seeing the impossibility of sustaining the Protheans, their only choice was to do everything possible to ensure the success of the next cycle.
In the past before the Keepers had been altered to no longer respond to the Reapers, they had been programmed to react to a signal. The signal would compel the Keepers to open the relay within the Citadel. This was the key, and what the remaining Protheans spent the rest of their lives figuring out. They used the Conduit to access the Citadel making the necessary alterations. It is because of those scientists that the Keepers no longer responded to the signal that the Reapers put out. They respond to the Citadel only. This cycle when Sovereign sent the signal it was ignored. It was because of this that the Reapers were still trapped in dark space.
It was all making sense. Saren needed the Conduit so he could gain control of the Citadel. He was only needed because Sovereign failed at bringing the Reapers earlier. After Saren entered the Citadel, he would hand over control of the station to Sovereign allowing him to open the relay starting the cycle as was destined.
Shepard shook her head and scratching her forehead with a hand. She signed looking back to Garrus.
"What can we do?" She asked the VI urgency filling her weak voice.
"There is a data file in my console. Take a copy of it with you, and once you reach the Citadels master control unit— upload it to the station. This will corrupt the Citadel's security measures and give you temporary control of the station. It might give you a chance against Sovereign." The cool slow tone of Virgil automated around them. "Go through the Conduit. Follow Saren. He will lead you to your destination."
"Saren has enough of a head start, Shepard." Garrus whispered softly touching her elbow.
"You're right. Grab that data file would you?" Shepard nodded to him giving him a small hopeful smile.
"The one you call Saren has not gone through the Conduit. Not yet. There is still hope if you hurry." The Vi spoke once more and hope filled the team.
Shepard looked to Garrus giving him a real smile this time. His smile. He hadn't seen such hope in her eyes in months. With a nod they turned running back towards the elevator and the Mako. The shield had been lifted. It was time to get to that Conduit. It was time to stop Saren once and for all.
She wondered how Saren had been there but not made it through the relay yet— how was it possible that they still had time here… Driving as fast as she could through the tunnels of the facility they ran down several geth stationed along the way. After a few minutes they saw what they had been looking for.
The Conduit. A small scale mass relay. It was at the bottom of a long hill, between them and the Conduit were hundreds of geth. Dozens of armatures. The relay was activated in front of them, spinning with force. Mass effect fields pulsating around it in a bright blue-white. They could see that it wouldn't be easy, but they had to make a run for it. Shepard looked to her right locking eyes with Garrus. After she swallowed, she turned her face forward flooring it.
They drove faster than the Mako had ever gone before, jumping with each mechanical body they ran over. Shepard struggled but held control of the vehicle not slowing down for anything. Bullet after bullet piled into the Mako. The shields were failing, but they were so close. They had to make it. She struggled as Garrus typed away on the command center attempting to reroute power, anything to their shields. They just needed a little bit longer…
Swerving to miss a large armature, the Mako sped up the ramp and into the relay with mere seconds to spare. The relay sent them shooting at full speed popping them out in the Citadel with a large crash. Shepard kicked open the Mako door, reaching an arm down to pull Garrus then Liara out. A quick patch up of medi-gel gave them what they needed to get this fight done.
The destruction to the Citadel was immense. Fires spread, bodies lay decorating the floors of the presidium. Shepard shook her head and gestured for the team to move forward. There had been Reaper spikes lining the walkways, she noticed the bodies impaled on them. Fighting her way though the newly created husks they headed for the tower following the destruction. The fight wasn't easy but they persisted.
Even so, they were too late. They felt the rumbling of the arms of the Citadel closing— but not before Sovereign slipped in. The Reaper descended to the tower linking itself around the top. His enormous legs, slammed into the tower locking it in place sending the structure shaking. Shepard's squad saw this coming, and felt the rumbling of the tower. Gravity emulators had been disrupted and they would have to reply on their mag boots to get them anywhere from this point on. Seeing it as the only solution they broke a window jumping out. The magnetic fields of their boots sticking to the normally vertical walls of the Citadel tower.
Getting used to the change in gravity always felt weird at first, she could feel the rush as her brain and body adjusted to the vertigo. Having done this so many times she adjusted quickly, proceeding towards the gigantic Reaper ahead of them. The size of the thing was incomprehensible, at least 2 km. How could they kill this thing… No. She couldn't afford to think that way. Stay focused.
Refusing to look at the enormous tentacle like legs moving around them, she used her energy instead on the hordes of geth and remaining krogan. One after one they fell, floating in the zero gravity atmosphere as they pressed on. After what seemed like an eternity of fighting they reached a vent they could use to enter the top of tower. The inside of the tower looked just as bad as the rest of the Citadel. Fires were warm against their armor, faces specked with sweat.
Shepard ran up the stairs seeing Saren interacting with a console. She silently signaled her squad to take cover on either side of her, and on three they all went in guns raised at Saren. This was it. Everything they had been working towards. All the pain, all the death, all the suffering… It all came down to this fight.
And Shepard was not about to lose.