Anime Addventure : Emperor Ranma of Mongo

by tutcat

as the title says (all stories up for adoption)

2. Outers fight

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: The Meeting With the Emperor

by Kestral

Neptune noted something and frowned.

Uranus noticed and glanced around nervously. Okay, maybe the mechanical samurai were just low level drones. There were a freaking LOT of them, however. "What is it?" She was, of course, thinking of intuition and sneak attacks.

"Beethoven's Pastorale," said Neptune with a frown. "They are playing good music and it is not suitably villainous music."

"It's kinda nice," offered Saturn.

"That's what's bugging me," admitted Neptune. "I focus on this Emperor, hoping to get some sense of his evil. Nothing. There's evil all around us but none of it is Great Evil. There's one or two that seem to be Wanna Be Great Evil But Can't Quite Manage It and some Fairly Evil In A Specialized Manner but I'm not getting anything that really qualifies as a Major Menace."

"Maybe they've found a way to block you," said Uranus hopefully.

K-SHANG! K-SHANG! K-SHANG! K-SHANG!

The Senshi watched as a gigantic robot took up a position along their route and stood at attention.

Saturn was the first to speak. "They have Gundam units?"

KANG! KANG! KANG! KANG!

Their heads barely clearing the feet, the Senshi walked past the giant robots of Ranma's childhood, translated by the Artificial Intelligence of the Imperial Automated Factories into reality. Sort of. They might just look the same since a lot of the technology just wasn't up to creating an exact copy.

Saturn, who was slightly more into anime (a result of staying home sick a lot), started naming them off. "Deathscythe Gundam, Orguss, Full Metal Siren, Heavy Metal L-gaim, Dangaioh, Patlabor Griffin..."

Uranus leaned close to Pluto. "Uhm. Pluto-san. Our Senshi uniforms are bulletproof, right?"

"...Grand Mazinger, Gigantor, Getter Robo..."

"I don't think it's ever come up," said Pluto as she saw two giant robots unfurl a banner between them that read "Welcome Beloved Princesses". "I don't think we've ever had invading aliens throw us a welcoming party."

"...the original Gundam, those three are from Armored Trooper Votoms, Tobikage..."

"They look so beautiful and exotic and... elegant!" came a call from within an appreciative murmur in the crowd.

Saturn blushed, Uranus looked bewildered, Pluto accepted it in good grace, and Neptune couldn't help but pose.

"...Fusion-maru from Granzort, Iczer-robo, Giant Robo," continued the blushing Saturn. "Knight Of Gold from 'Five Star Stories'..."

"This is just so wrong," grumbled Neptune as soon as she could mutter loud enough for Uranus to overhear. "The Evil Overlord is not supposed to serve tea and biscuits. They are not supposed to welcome the heroes and get all their oppressed people and minions to cheer as we come in."

"You'd rather fight your way through these crowds?" Uranus said out of the corner of her mouth.

"If you'll come this way," offered General Mille as they came to a palace. "The Emperor will see you in a few minutes."

While standing at the door waiting for the crowd next to the throne room to part, Saturn asked a question to Uranus. "Do we really have to attack full power the moment we see him?"

"Yes. That way we can get away in the confusion after he's dead," said Uranus.

General Mille twitched as she overheard this. On spotting a minor minion she didn't like approaching the throne, she decided to see if this were just a joke or if one of their Emperor's enemies had brainwashed his "fiancees". Same basic build, same basic look, turning face away from them... now. "See, there he is now. Emperor Ranma."

"WORLD SHAKING!"

"DEEP SUBMERGE!"

"...dead... scream..."

"SILENCE GLAIVE SURPRISE!"

Seeing the janitor get exploded for no apparent reason, the crowd of generals, minions, robots, court attendees, and went silent.

General Mille stepped back and drew her drug whip, checking the supply of medication that could be induced into a target through the small needles in the tip. "They've been brainwashed by the enemy! They're out to kill the Emperor!"

The crowd responded by:

all combat personnel and a good amount of the crowd playing beat down on the Senshi.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: The Return Of Doctor Zakharov!

by Kestral

They were strong, powerful, and the enchantments on them were likewise powerful.

They were not bulletproof, however.

Bullets went into Sailor Neptune's chest with only slightly less effect than if she'd been untransformed.

Sailor Uranus yelled and turned to run through the robot soldier who had killed Neptune, only to be hit with enough voltage to light up the Tokyo Tower. She fell.

Sailor Saturn had Mille's whip wrapped around her neck, and the poison was causing the younger girl to slump.

A few moments later, Sailor Pluto fell, a spear emerging between her breasts.

"They'll live," said General Mille, "if we get them into surgery. We'll do the programming and genetic manipulation while they're unconscious."

"Interesting powers from these mortals," rumbled General Grim as he moved forward. "I wonder how many more are present on that world and if any can be recruited to our cause."

"We shall have to see on that," agreed General Mille.

Mongo was an odd collection of technologies, cultures, and lifestyles.

Take equal parts of German aristocracy, Chinese bureaucracy, Mongol Horde mentality, and some 1001 Nights Pseudo-Arabian Fantasy. Add a dash of Klingon Empire, a teaspoon of Starcraft, a helpful heaping of Japanese feudalism. Set blender to high.

Part of the problem was that in the Babylonian fashion - Mongo took whatever it liked from each culture that had been added through conquest (Ming and Yan) or negotiation and mutual benefit (Wang) or through other methods. There was a mechanism for incorporating new elements, but no mechanism for removing old elements.

A lot of the peasantry lived in pseudo-medieval lifestyles, and yet since Wang's rule their educational standard was more late 1800s. Medicine was more along the line of AD 2200. Mongo had Cloud City and Giant Robots, fantasy style castles, bloodsport arenas, cyborg warriors (a recent addition that Ming would have loved), grav cycles, horse-drawn carriages, steam engine trains - but you get the picture.

Mongo was an Empire. If one used the concept of alignment, then it tended to be Lawful Neutral, with the Emperor mainly setting the tone. In which case:

Ruler D&D Rifts/Pall.

Ming NE Diabolic

Wang LG Scrupulous

Yan LE Aberrant

Short Ruled One CN Anarchist

So it was the same Mongo that Dr Zakharov had fought against alongside Dale Arden and Flash Gordon, but it had changed a bit since those days.

Doctor Zakharov had returned to Earth at the same time as Dale and Flash, had attended their wedding, and seen their child grow up.

Doctor Zakharov himself had been in his early 40s when he and Flash and Dale had all gone to Mongo in 1927. So in 1992, the 105 year old Doctor Zakharov was sitting in a wheelchair in a retirement home when he saw the TV footage of "flying saucers" and recognized the emblem of Mongo.

After coming out of sedation (a nurse heard him ranting about evil oriental warlords and gave him a quick nap), Doctor Zakharov realized he had about as much chance of rescuing the world now as he did of being able to run in the Olympics.

He was 105. One hundred and five. He had osteoarthritis, his mind tended to wander, his eyesight was a good deal worse than it had been in 1927, his teeth were in a jar by his bedside, he had a little bottle of oxygen he carried around with him... he was in good shape for his age but that didn't get around that he WAS his age.

There was only so much you could do once you'd passed the century mark. Jumping chasms, swinging on ropes, climbing over precipices, taking high g turns in a grav-speeder, fighting off giant insects from the jungles of Mongo with a shoelace and a wet t-shirt... oh wait. He'd never been able to do that last one. Whatever. He certainly couldn't do it now.

Not for the first time, the scientist wished that balding scientific geniuses got the girl - in this case it was because if he'd ever gotten the girl he might have an heir that he could send off to battle Ming's Hordes. Or Wing. Or whoever the heck it was. Wing, Ming, Ching, Bing - who the heck cared?! Someone had to fight the evil hordes!

Getting his walker, Doctor Zakharov prepared to rush out and fight for truth and justice! Why continue to rot away in the Shady Hills Old Folks Home when he could go out in a blaze of glory?!

The one called Saturn had the fewest injuries, merely some bruising and some paralytic drugs in her system.

General Mille had been reluctant to use the various sexual devices on one so young, but while mapping out the girl's neural net had found some promising tendencies.

The others had been repaired by Doctor Wutang, someone General Mille often... consulted with. If his work was up to his usual standards here, Madeline Mille decided she'd have to... consult with the doctor very enthusiastically afterwards.

Damage had been repaired, and new organs emplaced. The cyberneticist/gynecologist/general surgeon had worked with his team to place special devices in the fiancees.

Mille had to admit that whoever had reprogrammed these fiancees had done a thorough job. They had even provided a false past and erased their previous memories! They would be able to restore only bits and pieces from what they knew or could guess.

Though working with General Grim and Doctor Wu Tang, the possibility of cloning these four into an army of magical warriors could not be discounted. They'd have to see if it worked out.

Mille shook her head. Further interviews with the Imperial Mother had revealed more of Akane's character, and little of it was obvious with the readings they had.

"General Mille," said an Aide, saluting smartly in her own leather uniform. "We have reports from units five and seven... err. They both report having captured the fiancees of Emperor Ranma."

General Mille shrugged. "Bring them in. We'll sort the details out later."

Who are these new captured girls?

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: False Impressions

by Kender

On a ship heading to Mongo, a team of soldiers were bringing a group of girls who were they were certain were the fiancees of the Emperor. It had taken them a great deal of time and energy, but they had finally succeeded in what they had been tasked to accomplish. Soon their Emperor would be reunited with the girls and those who had returned them to him would be rewarded for what they had done.

Meanwhile, the girls were primarily sticking to themselves, which fit the soldiers just fine.

"You realize that I'm missing my game to be kidnapped by a bunch of space aliens in weird outfits?" growled Megumi Morisato to the girl next to her.

Sayoko Mishima shrugged and smirked. "It's simple, so relax. We go along with this for now, get pampered by royalty, while we wait to explain that you're not this 'Akane' girl and I'm not named 'Kodachi'."

"They promised that they'd have lots of fish!" chirped Nuku-Nuku.

"Why am I here?" asked Yuka.

On another transport, other soldiers thought that they were transporting to their fiance, the Emperor, and these girls were also whispering between themselves.

"I blame you for this," Motoko Aoyama told the girl sitting to her side.

Mitsune Konno put up her hands. "Hey, how was I to know that these guys would have no sense of humor and actually think that I was this 'Akane' girl?"

"The reason why they should have been told that my name isn't 'Shampoo' and Motoko's isn't 'Kodachi'," muttered Naru Narusegawa.

"Um... Why did they call me 'Ukyo'?" asked Mutsumi Otohime.

Saturn was waking up.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Waking Saturn

by Kestral

General Mille was aware of Saturn waking and went to the young girl's trainer.

Her taste didn't run that young, and she was fairly sure that the Emperor didn't fancy them that young either, but this Saturn girl held the promise of great beauty and already had great power. With those two considerations, it was easy to see why the Emperor would have chosen to "reserve" such a girl.

Besides, this was quite obviously a nice girl, and there were definite uses for such around the Castle. Another obvious difference between herself and the new Emperor - as she definitely preferred naughty.

The still groggy Saturn was brought to the handmaidens, who quickly led her into the day spa. She'd be expertly groomed and made up, dressed in appropriate clothing, and otherwise prepared. Though it would take a few years for her to be ready to properly consummate her marriage at least physically.

"Saturn?" General Mille asked, waiting for the unfocused girl to look up at her. "What are your feelings on the Emperor?"

"I love my Emperor, Ranma Saotome, with all my heart and soul," distantly whispered Saturn. She repeated it again with more conviction and strength, and then a third time with absolute conviction and looking the General straight in the eye.

General Mille nodded. It looked like the conditioning had taken. Due to the methodology, the girl's own mind would maintain and reinforce those commands.

how many "fiancees" this Ranma had had.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Lookin' Around

by Kender

"Privates Hac and Slaz reporting, Ma'am," said the the first of the two soldiers standing before her. Between them was a pallet bearing an attractive young woman who was currently unconscious.

"And who would this be?" asked General Mille as she gazed over the figure.

"She's one of the Emperor's fiancees," replied the second soldier.

"Is she now?"

"Oh yes! She was all like we were told on the list. Right Hac?"

"Uh-uh. And she was pretty strong too. Not a lot of moves, but she hit Slaz pretty hard..," commented the first soldier.

"Got me good too. See?"

"I'll... take your word for it. But none of the teams came to help you?" asked Mille.

"They were busy," Hac told her.

Slaz nodded. "They were getting the others."

"'The others?'"

"The rest of the fiancees."

Subduing a twitch in her eyebrow, she waved the two men on. "Take her on. I have much to do."

"Aye aye Ma'am," chorused the soldiers as they took Natsume Tsujimoto away with them.

"Are you sure about that one?" asked one soldier to the next.

"She fits the profile, doesn't she?" his comrade replied.

"I guess, but do you think that it's really her?"

"Yeah, but who is that guy that she is with?"

"Who cares?"

"She does apparently."

"That's a really damn big mallet."

WHAM!

"And that must have hurt."

"But it seems that we won't have to deal with that 'Ryo Saeba' guy."

"Yeah, but use the stun on the girl, 'cause I don't want to explain to the Emperor why this 'Kaori Makimura' girl got hurt."

"You want me to go and see your emperor?" asked Sakura Kasugano.

"Uh-huh," said the smiling man in the weird outfit in front of her.

"Why?"

"Oh, I'm certain that he'd just love to have you there."

"He would?"

"Oh most certainly."

"Your name is Akane," said the soldier to the girl before him.

"Yeah..."

"Well then, I'm supposed to bring you to the palace."

"What?"

"Those are my orders."

"Some really screwy orders there," muttered Akane Kasuga.

"Sorry, but I have to follow them."

"Yeah..."

one of the other girls was awakening for Mille's personal touch.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Ranma's new friends

by Ranma-mite

General Mille welcomed the technician in.

One of those cultures added by Wang had been the machine culture of Teknos. Wang had used logical persuasion, and they had joined the Empire to contribute their portion and become the master technologists of Mongo. They were machines themselves, somewhat more advanced than the ones they churned out - but as they could not reproduce themselves (being left overs from a now vanished humanoid species) this was a concern they continued to address.

The Technician was named THX-1138. Mille called him "Ted".

"The equipment seems to work as specified, Ted, thank you," said the General. As Ted was a sexless humanoid robot, Mille was polite and respected the Technician's expertise.

"Statement: Was built to your specifications," answered Ted. "Statement: This unit does not understand functioning. Reason for visit with: Mille, General - Request rationale."

"Hmmm," Mille began to try and figure out how to explain a seraglio to a species that did not practice sex. "Do you understand the basics of humanoid reproduction?"

"Statement: male + female direct physical interface. Exchange of bodily fluids in inefficient process sometimes results in male fertilization of female's ova. Cloning tanks such as are being constructed on Level 12, Subsection 32, Corridor B, would be substantially more efficient."

"Yes, but not as much fun," qualified Mille as she pondered how to put this. She checked the timers and sat back against the trainer of the one called Pluto. "The, uhm, stimulation of certain, err, areas by another individual as they, eh, 'interface' can be quite, uhm, stimulating. Fun and exciting. Causing pleasure for both or all individuals concerned."

"Statement: Ted can see how this would work as evolutionary incentive for continued matings and procreation of species."

"Quite," drily said the General. "In any case, it is a tradition of the Emperors since Ming, with the exception of Yan who apparently was unable to do much in that arena, to take Princesses or representatives from each subject nation and add these to his seraglio. His harem, as it is also called."

"Query: hostage value?"

"In some cases," admitted Mille. "Wang didn't go that route much himself. He wanted to be liked and to bring this 'new prosperity' to Mongo and the world. He went with the seraglio anyway due to tradition, but wanted them to be happy. Yan probably saw them as potential hostages if the subject race went into rebellion. Our current Emperor - Ranma, wants them to be his elite bodyguards as well as his harem. From meeting him, I expect he's a bit like Wang and wants them to be happy and will do much towards their own gratification and pleasure."

"Query: Teknos has not supplied towards this 'seraglio', should a unit be reconfigured for this purpose?"

"I don't think it would be quite the same," answered Mille. "You'd have to be able to come very close to a flesh-and-blood female for it to work at all."

The robot nodded. There were just over 1000 of his people, so perhaps their numbers were not up to such a task? It would have to be looked into at the very least.

"Now tell me, since you're here," Mille lightly tapped the box she was sitting on. "Did you follow my directions exactly?"

"Answer: Affirmative," agreed the technician. "Virtual reality training and chemical processing is tied directly into brain and biochemical scanning. As the virtual reality goes on, the subject is given pain/discomfort for incorrect thoughts and fighting programming. Correct thought patterns and accepting programming is rewarded by direct stimulation of limbic system pleasure centers determined by scans. Utilizing time shift technology and subjective time in VR, subject undergoes months of training within hours. Subject's own mind is trained to accept programming and to avoid incorrect thinking. Once initial programming is complete, subject will respond positively to additional programming."

Mille nodded happily. She almost envied the young Princesses. "And the programming?"

"Exposition: major programming points towards love and obedience towards Emperor. While this unit does not understand concept 'love' - subjects do and General Mille's descriptions were encoded as given. Subject will love and adore Emperor per definitions given. Subject will live for Emperor, and as bodyguards may die for Emperor, though latter will be avoided when possible. Subject will obey Emperor Ranma and will be completely devoted to his pleasure and wellbeing. Query: This is sufficient?"

Mille nodded and glanced at the gauges. "Ooooh. It looks like another of the Emperor's mates is ready to emerge. This might be fun. Ted, if you will go over into that corner and remain quiet, you may observe."

Always interested in more information, Ted rolled off to the corner and prepared to record the events as General Mille licked her lips and prepared to release:

Uranus

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Pigs in space!

by Kestral

Ranma dodged, leapt, rolled, and generally tried to avoid becoming a meal.

The stavanger clawed, bit, and attacked in a frenzied and increasingly frustrated manner.

Finally Ranma slammed the beast, using a Chestnut Fist and slamming the blows repeatedly into the sensitive area between the eyes.

The beast fell, armor plates of horn rasping against the sands of the Arena Of Death.

"Very good sir, would you be caring for dinner or would you prefer a bath?" The slightly furry tribesman (Wolf tribe) asked of the new Emperor.

"Dinner?!" Ranma pondered that. "I guess it is getting kinda late."

"Yes sir, as sir was enjoying himself, this one did not feel inclined to interrupt." The Wolfman made a gesture towards one of the doors. "The Emperor's Mother made requests of the chefs. Tonight is seafood pulled from the moon of Oceania specifically for your plate."

"Oh? Send 'em my thanks," said Ranma. "I'm famished!"

"Very good sir," repeated the wolfman.

Ranma nodded. This place wasn't bad at all. He got to show off practice his skills, keep up the martial arts and stuff, eat staggering amounts of good food, and take a nap whenever he felt like it.

He wondered what the old crew was doing. Nah, they were probably all happy to be rid of him.

General Mille reached up languorously and hit the intercom button. "I'll need a new uniform. How are those replacement uniforms coming?"

"Suitable materials have been found. Prototypes ready for your inspection by 0600 tomorrow morning," responded a sibilant voice.

"Make it 0900, I'll be sleeping in," said the General. She switched settings on the knob, her movements causing her companion to stir. "Ted?"

"Statement: Estimate Cloning Chambers operational 2100 hours. Estimate first clones begin by 2300 hours. Full functionality in 1360 hours."

"That's great, Ted, but it wasn't my question," answered General Mille as her companion groaned and stirred further.

"Query: nature of call?"

General Mille smiled lazily as a shorthaired blonde fell off her bed. "Quality control."

Meanwhile, deep in space:

Space is big. Really big. Really really big.

It's one thing to say the run down to your corner pub is a long distance, but compared to interstellar distances - that's peanuts. Light travels at a speed of 186,000 miles per second, and it takes years to get anywhere on an interstellar basis. Centuries to get around just in the neighborhood. Going to the pub on the edge of the galaxy could take a thousand or more. Go to a nearby galaxy and the numbers in front of that light year get so oomphing big that lightyear and parsec doesn't cut the mustard either.

Why bring up why so oomphing bloody big space is?

Because in a spaceship built by Doctor Zakharov and piloted by Flash Gordon back in the 20s, there was a little black piglet. Said little black piglet had gone off to save the universe, been splashed when the drinking fountain that hadn't been serviced in 80 years broke, and wasn't the best navigator in the quadrant.

Which is why we have things going on on the planet of Mostly Harmless Earth, on Mongo, and on a spaceship careening wildly away from either of these planets were a little black pig had gotten lost and was trying to find his way back to the navigation panel. Which was confounded even worse by the fact that there were no computers on board, one did the navigational calculations with a slide rule.

So, even if Ryouga Hibiki could find the correct controls, he would have enormous problems finding the correct planet. The odds were... astronomical?

General Mille looked over her new crop of Princesses and licked her lips. Being a quality control supervisor was such a difficult task and only one of her duties.

She loved her job.

Even Ming hadn't had this many concubines. Nor had they typically been armed. This whole idea of the harem guarding (as well as doing other things with) the Emperor's body had some definite merits.

Well, actually Ming had his problems if the records were any indication.

The Senshi empowerment was still being researched but the loyalty to their Empress had been switched to the Emperor.

General Mille left that pleasing site to attend a board meeting. She was the one who had called it, after all.

Upon reaching the General Staff Conference Room, she cut through the talk of their various problems by dropping a verbal bombshell.

"Gentle Beings, not only do we have the Enemy on one moon, we have a new Enemy. Though the two may be related. As you know, several magically empowered girls tried to kill the Emperor. During interrogation and reprogramming, it was discovered they were elite soldiers of an Empire and preparing to invade!"

When the objections, questions, and invective had run down, Mille gave a brief description of this 'Moon Kingdom' and that they had an artifact of some kind that could apparently blow planets up.

"They have not struck us yet other than to send assassins disguised as seraglio candidates," rumbled General Grimm. "I suggest we declare war and quickly move to cut down this Empress before she can unleash her main weapon."

"I think it would be better to capture these young ladies, reprogram them, and add them to the seraglio," said General Mille. "Not only does it have a certain ironic justice - but it would strengthen our own forces and holding."

Ted, as representative of Teknos, put in his own two cents. "Statement: difficulties in subverting the will of someone used to wielding that much power. Query: Earth Moon Empress has weaknesses exploitable?"

"Many," purred General Mille. "If struck down before she can power up and access the artifact - she is as vulnerable as any human."

"I think perhaps we overly hasty are," said one of the lizardmen. "More information we need. Treaty made by Zakharov and Gordon - no attack the Earth."

"They are not officially Earth government," argued Mille.

Ted clicked briefly. "Statement: analysis of powers of assassins has been undertaken with General Grymn of The Imperial Sorcerie Office. Possibility of duplicating process of empowerment exists, if not -possible jamming of power source."

"If we wait too long, they will attack again, and in force," warned Mille.

"The Emperor is still new to his duties," pointed out a gilled humanoid. "This is a bit much to hit him with."

The eventual decision was:

General Mille gets her way. Now to "recruiting" this Moon Empress and her bodyguard.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Hunting Inners

by Kender

"Why are we sneaking around like this?" asked Wedge as he and his commander made their way through an area of their Emperor's home city.

Biggs sighed. "Because those were General Mille's orders."

"I know that, but why did she give them?"

"How am I supposed to know? All that I was told was that they have some kind of power that makes them dangerous if they detect us."

"But they could have sent down the rest of the troops..."

"Which would have alerted them to what we are trying to do. And remember that we were the ones who brought those girls for the Emperor.

"It was an honest mistake..."

"Well, we don't get many of those."

"Yeah."

"So we have to find these other girls. Once do, we call in a team and they will get her quietly and undetected. Got it?"

"Yup. But there is one thing."

"What?"

"There's one right here," Wedge said and pointed.

His commander looked in the direction indicated and saw:

Ami.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: To catch a senshi

by Kestral

Many of their memories had been erased. Originally it had been thought that they were the original fiancees but brainwashed by the Enemy. Interrogation and the fact that dozens of other "fiancees" had been recovered led General Mille to report otherwise.

Still, many of their personal memories had been erased and new ones added, and there was the whole programming angle to consider.

Saturn, if she had not been with the Outers, might have gone along with this to some extent anyway. Maybe not being a member of a harem, but she had gotten a genuine Mongo Enterprises Oil Lamp as a souvenir for free, had been fed, and wowed by the giant robots and other items of this planet. As it was, she had been the first conversion due to a lack of life threatening injuries.

Now dressed again in her Senshi uniform, the young girl took a guard position and smiled a cute little smile as various Generals and official courtiers filed by. They were all mainly nice people, these other minions of her Master. Practically everyone who went by had a nice word for the young teenager with the vicious looking polearm. In fact, she kind of fit in here.

On the other side of the door leading to the Emperor's private chambers was Leona, looking quite nice in her homeland's brass-and-leather armor. She was holding a Mongolian Beam Axe, something Emperor Yan had come up with. It was essentially a blast rifle with an axe blade and spike combination. Shoot at distant targets, chop and spear at closer in opponents.

Saturn gave a happy little contented sigh as she felt she truly belonged here. Hopefully she would please the Emperor soon. She was a little too young, maybe, for the kind of pleasing she wanted to do, but she could stand guard!

Readouts on the capsules told the story. Still not the right fiancees. Mille wondered if the Earthers had something for an upset stomach. She had little doubt that when the Emperor was ready to meet his harem, that seraglio had BETTER have those fiancees he'd started out with!

It was a pity that the Senshi fication process had to be done at the same time due to time constraints, and that during the process all they were able to tell was (for the most part) what element was involved. Though there were exceptions such as with Kitsune.

There was also the positions to consider. Clearly the Emperor wanted his wives to work, which was actually a fairly novel idea being well received within the society at large. Not all would necessarily be suited for guard work, and some would have other positions that they could fill within the Emperor's retinue.

NAME: Megumi Morisato

ARCHETYPE: Tomboy

PROGRAMMING: 83.75%

SPECIALTY: Sports (subcategory: softball); Motorcycle Maintenance

SENSHI ELEMENT: Metal

SKILL PACKAGES INSTALLED: Mongolian Technology Maintenance; Rifle Proficiency; Sexual Techniques - Basic

SUGGESTED POSITION: Imperial Mechanic

NAME: Sayoko Mishima

ARCHETYPE: Aristocrat

PROGRAMMING: 92.8%

SPECIALTY: None detected

SENSHI ELEMENT: Air

SKILL PACKAGES INSTALLED: Rifle Proficiency; Deportment; Sexual Techniques - Basic

SUGGESTED POSITION: Overseer of Household Staff

NAME: Atsuko (Nuku Nuku) Natsume

ARCHETYPE: Ingenue cyborg

PROGRAMMING: 99.7%

SPECIALTY: Combat Cyborg

SENSHI ELEMENT: n/a. Insufficient cell mass to infuse with detectable results.

SKILL PACKAGES INSTALLED: Mantarian "Panzer Fist" Martial Arts; Basic Combat; Sexual Techniques - Basic

SUGGESTED POSITION: Personal bodyguard - elite

NAME: Yuka Miyamoto

ARCHETYPE: Bewildered noncombatant

PROGRAMMING: 82.4%

SPECIALTY: None Detected

SENSHI ELEMENT: Weak atomic force

SKILL PACKAGES INSTALLED: Basic HTH; Basic Combat; Sexual Techniques - Basic; Rifle Proficiency

SUGGESTED POSITION: Household Maintenance

This first of the new groups had been in for the longest period and were the furthest along. She'd have to see if their uniforms were ready. As for that Sayoko, she thought she sensed a kindred spirit there.

NAME: Mitsune Konno (Kitsune)

ARCHETYPE: Manipulative drunkard

PROGRAMMING: 45%

SPECIALTY: None Detected

SENSHI ELEMENT: Shapeshifting

SKILL PACKAGES: Basic HTH, Sexual Techniques - Advanced; Intelligence Gathering

SUGGESTED POSITION: Espionage Agent

NAME: Naru Narusegawa

ARCHETYPE: Violent nerd

PROGRAMMING: 32%

SPECIALTY: Scholar

SENSHI ELEMENT: Uncertain.

SKILL PACKAGES: Basic Combat; Deportment; Mongolian Technology Operation

SUGGESTED POSITION: Technological Advisor

NAME: Shinobu Maehara

ARCHETYPE: Nice girl

PROGRAMMING: 87%

SPECIALTY: Cooking, cleaning, studying

SENSHI ELEMENT: Purification

SKILL PACKAGES: Basic Combat; Basic Medical

SUGGESTED POSITION: Nurse

NAME: Motoko Aoyama

ARCHETYPE: tomboy samurai

PROGRAMMING: 50%

SPECIALTY: HTH Combat

SENSHI ELEMENT: Ki

SKILL PACKAGES: Sexual Techniques - Basic; Advanced Troop Combat

SUGGESTED POSITION: Personal Bodyguard - elite

NAME: Mutsumi Otohime

ARCHETYPE: Ditz

PROGRAMMING 32%

SPECIALTY: Turtlese, self-resurrection

SENSHI ELEMENT: Hot water

SKILL PACKAGES: Sexual Techniques - Basic; Basic HTH

SUGGESTED POSITION: Household Maintenance

This second, larger, group taken from apparently the wrong suburb had a few definite possibilities. Sailor Kitsune would make an excellent spy for when such would be needed, as long as her alcohol dependence could be lessened. The Maehara girl was extremely young, but would provide a good playmate for that Saturn girl. The swordswoman certainly seemed a good warrior. That weird girl that kept dying and resurrecting herself was an anomaly though.

NAME: Natsume Tsujimoto

ARCHETYPE: Gung ho motorhead

PROGRAMMING:25%

SPECIALTY: Motorcycle operation, above normal strength

SENSHI ELEMENT: Earth

SKILL PACKAGES: Advanced Combat, Sexual Techniques - Advanced

SUGGESTED POSITION: Troop Leader - Palace Guard

At least four more candidates were around, but they'd only built so many of the units. Fortunately they had an old Mind Freezing Ray left over from Ming's days.

If they didn't find those girls...

Wait a minute.

Mille thoughtfully considered one of the displays. Why not use the new recruits to take over the hunt? Let's see. She had assigned Pluto to speak with Intel about further details of this Empress. Uranus and Neptune were assisting the other princesses in the use of their new powers.

Why not use this as training?

"General Mille," the Meia-lookalike soldier entered her processing room and saluted. "Biggs and Wedge have located one of the Senshi and are requesting further instructions."

"Excellent," said General Mille before

dispatching Haruka and Michiru to take care of that matter.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Maiden Voyages.

by Greyman

"Oooooh, aarrghe!" moaned Michiru. She had come to Mongo expecting to destroy an evil overlord in his lair. "Uuuhhh! Nooooo! It's sooo big!" She had not expected to become his sexual plaything. "Yeeesss! Arhe! I'm going to cum!" She certainly would never have expected to love it so. "Oh, ohhh yesss! Nhhhh! Hhhaaarder! Ff-faaster! R... Raaannnmmmaaa!"

Her green hair plastered to her body, skin glistening with sweat and pussy dripping with juice, Michiru looked anything but elegant when she collapsed onto the bed and sighed, "oh. That was amazing! Ahh! Umm..."

"I'm, uh, glad you liked it," murmured her blushing partner.

"Oh, geeze," apologised Michiru. "I'm so sorry. It must have been weird me calling out your son's name like while we were ..."

"Oh, d...don't worry about it," stammered Nodoka. "L...let's forget all about it."

"Okay," said Michiru with a wicked grin, licked her finger and extracted the toy from between her legs. "How about I give you something else to think about... hmmm?"

"'Kay," agreed Nodoka shyly as Michiru pressed her onto the bed. She was still not used to the duties expected of an imperial mother, but determined to do a good job.

"Phone call. Ring! Ring! Phone call!" chimed the wall 'com.

"Feh, it's always when you're in the shower or about to do a sexy woman," belaboured Michiru as the 'com window lit up.

"Oh my, it looks like you two are getting along. I'm sorry to interrupt your quality control, Lady Nodoka," apologised Mille's image, "but we need Harem Girl Michiru for some field testing."

Michiru tried to recover her elegance, which was difficult while holding a dildo dripping with her sex juices. "What kind of field testing? Not that I don't mind the idea of outdoor sex but..."

"Oh, nothing like that," Mille denied. "Though I'll have to add that to the schedule. No, we need your other services for this one."

Swish! Kaching! Kaching! Huffa! Huffa!

These were the only sounds to be heard on the bridge. Silence fell across the deck as the double door swished open for the entrance of white armoured figures. Over the clangour of their precision boot stomps only the ominous breathing of the lone dark armoured figure could be heard.

"Hufa! Hufa!" The ominous figure surveyed the chamber for several moments. "Hufa Hu Hu... hack!" Tearing off the helmet, Ranma gasped for breath and swore, "how the heck am I supposed to breath in this thing? Whoever designed it needs to be taken out and shot!"

"By your command," saluted General Grim.

"Whatever," said a distracted Ranma as he turned to his companions. "You guys can take those helmets off too, if you like."

"Thank the moons," gasped Leona, Princess of Veldt, as she tore her helmet off. "I couldn't see anything with that on anyway."

"Ack! " exclaimed Ranma in surprise. "You're all girls!"

"What else would your Seraglio be?" demanded Umi, Princess of Oceana, then laughed drolly. "Oh... Ha, ha! Yeah, this gear does hide our girlish figures, doesn't it. That's funny," she concluded without conviction.

"Indeed, this armour is hardly suitable for your Seraglio, if I may say so, Milord," Trolla, Princess of Glacia agreed haughtily.

"Feh, yeah," agreed Ranma while missing the point entirely, "ya just can't fight in this heavy gear, can ya. I do not know what I was thinking agreeing ta wear it."

"Indeed not," barked Lufy, Princess of Wolfen. "We have some lightweight outfits in our chambers if you'd like to inspect us."

"Um, oh, sure," Ranma committed himself, "later. 'Okay, General Grim, is this thing ship shape and sea...er, space worthy?"

"The Yamato III is designed to resemble an ocean vessel as per your specifications," General Grim confirmed, "as much as possible. The Technos experts have certified her and my men have familiarised herself with the controls. We but await your command to begin the maiden voyage."

"Alrighy then," Ranma exclaimed, waited then gave the command to, "uh, make it go!"

The Yamato III, designed, for reasons inexplicable to her crew, to resemble both a world war II battleship and an anime spaceship of the same name, glided sedately away from Cloud City then rocketed away leaving the usual trail of sparks and smoke of a Mongolian space ship.

"Yatta!" Ranma exclaimed. "Now, let's swing out to that ice moon and take a look."

"But first," begged the Mongolian Princess, Dale, "let's swing by our quarters and put on something more comfortable!"

"'kay," Ranma agreed heartily. "'s a good idea."

"You know," Michiru made conversation, "the standard tactic for this sort of thing would be to disguise ourselves as shopkeepers and secretly drain the energy of our customers until the inners stumble across us."

"Then they would defeat us with courage, teamwork and dumb luck," Haruka agreed. "Which is why we are not doing it that way."

"Yeah," Michiru agreed. "That's one reason I like this plan a whole lot better!"

"She won't be expecting it, that's for sure," Haruka gloated. "But why take on Sailor Mercury when we know where Ami Mizuno lives?"

"I can't wait to get that lolicon girl with glasses into the training tubes," Michiru breathed. "But what about her mother?"

"Developing a thing for older women, are you?" accused Haruka snidely.

"Nnn... no, not at all," Michiru denied hotly. "But if she makes a fuss it will alert the others."

"Whatever," Haruka smirked. "Anyway, why not? We can always find her a job in the palace as a maid or something."

Haruka and Michiru pay the Mizuno household a visit.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Nonstandard tactics

by Kestral

Haruka and Michiru waited, watching the lights in the penthouse. Doctor Mizuno and her child were getting ready for dinner.

"3, 2, 1," counted off Haruka eagerly.

Michiru smiled a little more. "Now we just keep an eye on the doors and windows to see if someone escapes."

"We specified odorless and colorless," reminded Haruka gently. "The knockout gas will reach saturation within one minute. Within two..."

"By the time we get up there, it'll be all over," agreed Michiru as she walked towards the building. Haruka opened the door for Michiru and a short elevator ride shortly followed.

Michiru took out the antidote pills and handed one to Haruka, swallowing the other herself.

From the elevator to the "penthouse" was another swift journey and the Mongolian Lockpick device operated quickly.

"Ah, I knew we had made the right choice," said Michiru as she flipped open her communicator. "Wedge. Two for pickup as planned. Get the cargo hauler to the balcony."

Mother and daughter were swiftly loaded and Wedge was soon loading the two locked cases onto the transport where they could be kept sedated.

"So which is next?" asked Michiru.

Snxxxxxxxxxx! answered Haruka.

Michiru shook her head at her fellow harem girl and took the antidote pill from the unresisting girl's hand and forced her to swallow it. In the meantime she thought the next target should be:

while Michiru decides that, let's visit -

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Project Princess on Parade.

by Greyman

"What do you think of this one?" Lufy asked as she paraded passed in the latest of a long line of outfits. When the request for uniforms had come up, Mille had not been certain whether the Princess Project should just copy the original senshi's designs, so she'd appointed a committee which consulted Nodoka who could not make up her mind either. The result was a fashion parade of sentai-team fukus and harem costumes, skin tight plug suits and frilly peach-coloured wedding gowns; a display of cuteness or indecency, and little practicality.

"It's fine," Ranma repeated. He was beginning to see the advantages of heavy armor.

These girls were weird and strange and not because of the alien nature. They had no problem disrobing before him; actually seeming to want him to watch. They encouraged him to comment on their bodies and seemed to value his opinion, though he quickly learned not to be disparaging. Anger he could handle, but these girls just sulked when he was too honest.

"This doesn't clash with my fur, does it?" Lufy asked as she modeled the pastel pink concoction.

"It's fine," Ranma repeated.

Then there was the sleeping arrangements. He knew that bodyguards were supposed to stay close to the body they guarded, but they planned to not only sleep with him, but to sleep with him. All of them. Together even!

They were competitive about it, but showed no signs of jealousy. They ... got along.

Lufy stamped her foot. "If you are not going to pay attention, Milord, we may as well go around nude! What do you think of that?"

"It's fine," Ranma repeated.

"Males!" Lufy pouted and stormed off to huddle with her harem sisters for a group sulk and cuddle.

"Huh?" Ranma snapped out of it. "Sheesh! I'm sorry, but I've ... got other things on my mind."

"Awe, poor baby," Dale consoled as she knelt on the bed behind him. "You must be under a whole lot of pressure. Let me help you to relax."

"What are you...? Oh, that's nice." Ranma sighed with bliss. Things were looking up if he could get backrubs out of the deal.

"That's it, baby," Dale cooed. "Just relax and let all the tension melt out of you."

Ranma closed his eyes and let her fingers work the knots out of his muscles, ease his cares and worries, take off his shirt and undo ...

Ranma's eyes snapped open and looked between his legs where Falca knelt with one hand around his member. Then Dale pulled his head back and rested it against her breasts. "Just relax and let us do all the work, okay, baby?"

"'kay," Ranma said weakly as Falca's mouth set to work and the other Seraglio girls gathered round intent on joining the fun. It did feel nice and what was he to do but let them have their wicked way with him? Falca had him by the short and curlies so his mind and heart was due to follow.

Hotaru pouted as she stood on guard duty with Steg. She wasn't sure exactly what was going on inside the royal quarters, but knew that she was missing out on something. Michiru and Haruka always sounded like they were having lots of fun when they disappeared into their thin walled bedroom; though Hotaru couldn't puzzle out why they needed rope, clothespegs and whipped cream for that.

In due course, a rather worn and bedraggled looking Umi emerged to relieve her sister from Dune. The Oceanian princess leaned back against the wall and sighed blissfully. "By the Moons of Mongo, can that boy keep going and going and going..."

"So, umn, what uniform did he decide on?"

"Oh, uh, I dunno," Umi sighed and preened a webbed hand with her tongue. "I guess we'll stick with those fuck you things for now."

"Fuku," Hotaru corrected with a blush.

"Did he ever!" Umi sighed blissfully.

"..." Hotaru simmered.

Meanwhile, Haruka and Michiru staked out another senshi for acquisition.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Felling A Tree

by Kender

"How long do you think that it will take her to arrive?" Haruka asked Michiru as the two of them watched for the arrival of the individual that they had come for.

"Not long," the sea-green haired girl.

"It is getting pretty late."

"She'll be here."

"I know, but we haven't seen her yet."

"Yes, but... there she is now."

"Why yes she is," said the short haired blonde, "Let's go greet her."

"Yes, let's."

The two walked over to their target and Haruka put an arm around her. "Well, fancy meeting you here Makoto."

"This is where I live. What are you two doing here?"

"We just happened to be in the neighborhood, and thought that it might be nice to drop in."

"'Drop in'? Since when do you guys do that?"

"Oh, it was a spur of the moment thing, I assure you," Michiru told her.

"Um... That's different."

"Hey, why don't we take you somewhere special?" asked Haruka.

"Can I take a rain check? I'm kind of tired."

The arm around the brunette tightened. "You like this place a lot. We do. And you can sleep until we get there."

"I can?"

Michiru nodded. "In fact we insist on it," she told the younger girl and put a metal cylinder in front of her face, pressing a button on top of it. A small cloud of gas escaped from it and Makoto breathed it in before she could stop herself. Her eyes shut slowly and she slumped in Haruka's arms.

"She's out," the blonde said after checking the unconscious girl for a moment.

"I can tell," Michiru said and pulled out a communicator. "We have another one for transport Wedge. Bring the transport around for a pick up."

Soon they had brought the sleeping Makoto to the transport for loading while:

the ship was heading towards the enemy occupied planet.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Let's have a look see.

by Greyman

Hotaru was happy to accompany her new sempai as Ranma escaped from the clutches of the rest of his Seraglio and hid out attended a briefing as the Yamato entered orbit around the ball of ice known as Glacia. He was grateful that at least one of his new bodyguards wouldn't want to do anything perverted with his body; though he wasn't sure what good anyone thought the little girl would do as a bodyguard.

"So what are we looking at here?" Ranma asked.

"The climate of the Ice moon of Glacia is practically a glacial ocean," General Grim explained. "Humans of your species would freeze to death in three minutes without protective gear. Even the Glacians preferred to avoid the surface as much as possible and settled in subterranean, or rather sub glacial, citadels carved out of glacial ice. This is one such city, or rather, what's left of it."

General Grim was a fellow who looked to be carved of living rock. Ranma knew from all too intimate experience with Princess Graphite, that silicon based mantle was as flexible as skin but as tough as stone. He couldn't help wondering about applications of the breaking point technique used by or against Vulcanian humanoids. At that moment, though, he had other things on his mind.

"What happened to the people?" Ranma demanded as the robot drone prowled through deserted ruins. The architecture of ice as a building material was interesting but Ranma was certain it shouldn't look that sterile.

"Unknown," Grim said grimly. "These are the first images we've had since the invasion. During the last year of your predecessor's tenure we started losing contact with various settlements on Glacia. Nobody the Glacian's sent to investigate returned. Then we sent heavily armed troops with the same result. As the zone of silence spread the rest of the moon was evacuated. Hopefully the robots you designed will be up to the task."

"Mmm..." Ranma commented. "Yeah, hopefully."

While the Mongolian's attributed the new designs to a sign of otherwise hidden genius, Ranma had just sketched them into the computers and believed they did the design work. But if he wanted giant robots built like gundams, zoids, droids or whatever, then by all but forgotten Great Will the fabricators would develop the capability to build them.

Unlike the clunky robots of Ming's era, the units sent to investigate Glacia were designed for stealth and speed rather than shock troops and the Ai was somewhat more sophisticated than his "crush, kill, destroy, there will be no survivors," programming. Those attributes stood them in good stead as they prowled the deserted streets and alleys of the ice city. But for all that they had nothing to report beyond unusual absences.

"It's like a ghost town," Hotaru observe with a shiver and moved closer to her sempai for comfort. "It's scary." Senshi of silence, harbinger of death and destruction, she might be, but she was still a little girl.

"The abandoned city is well preserved," General Grim noted, "as the temperature has plummeted well below what even the Glacian's would consider comfortable. But there appears to be nothing to preserve! Even the hydroponic farms have been stripped of vegetation; which does not look promising for those hoping to find survivors, even though there are no bodies left behind."

"Okay," Ranma considered after a somber pause, "but what about whatever did this? Didn't they leave any tracks?"

General Grim frowned. "The 'ground' is solid ice. Yet even so, heavy machinery, even transport vehicles, should have left some sign. But the only trail is that of destruction of doors and walls."

"Oh good," Ranma said, then explained. "At least it is physical."

"True. That indicated that the enemy is is not a virus or occult phenomenon," Grim agreed.

"'Kay," Ranma said. "So what next?"

The scene shifts back to Earth.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: The funny thing about the fiancees

by Kestral

The roof of the Tendo house had a decoration thoughtfully provided by Nabiki.

"The fiancees you're looking for have moved. Go elsewhere."

It was a pity, perhaps, that most of those aliens coming to get said fiancees had taken that advice.

Reaction was still going on with the various fiancees.

Akane was still alternating between denying that she missed that pervert and fretting about alien tortures.

Ukyo was running her restaurant but had some calls to NASA about a rescue operation. So far they had not contacted her in reply.

Shampoo was trying to find some ancient artifact as Cologne might be a 300 year old martial arts expert and Amazon matriarch, but she didn't have anything handy for space travel.

Kodachi had been using her brother to test rockets. So far they'd all blown up long before escaping atmosphere. As one had blown up before liftoff, Kodachi and her brother were currently imbedded in walls.

"Oh, hi Rei. Long time no see," said Michiru. "Oh, what's that?"

Rei blinked and turned around to see that there was the usual set of charms and wards. "You've seen the ema before, haven't you? MMMMPH!?"

Haruka had snuck up and as soon as Rei had turned back, had slapped a mask on Rei's face. It instantly clung and Rei began trying to grip and pry it off.

"They're right, that one Emperor must have been awfully ecchi," said Michiru as the doll mask's eyes closed and the layer of plastic spread. In moments a life-sized Rei doll clicked open blank eyes.

"Hmmm. Yes, this does seem a bit odd. Oh well, Wedge. One more for pick up." Haruka hefted the doll up and put her in a container.

"Rei, I..." Usagi came walking up and saw the two Outers and a large cargo container marked "Fresh Tarts - Handle With Care".

Usagi wonders if the tarts are good to eat. Haruka and Michiru assure her that this is the case.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Gumballs For Girls

by Kender

"Oooh wow! Tarts!" said Usagi as she made her way up to the container.

"That's what the box says," Haruka told her.

"Are the tarts good to eat?"

"Yes they do," Michiru said.

"With the soft and tasty outside?"

"Yes."

"And the oh so gooey and stick to your chin filling?"

"Plenty of that."

The odango blonde gave the older girls a puppy dog look. "Can I have some?"

"I'm sorry..."

"Come on..."

"We can't."

"Just a nibble?"

"No, we can't.'

"Not even a lick or two?"

Haruka smirked at her. "Sorry, but we can't. But I can give you this... jawbreaker I have."

"Yay! Candy," said Usagi as she took the round object that the sandy haired girl had pulled out of her pocket.

"Go ahead, try it."

"Okay." Usagi took the ball, put it into her mouth and bit into it. But instead of letting out flavor, it did so with rubber. This rubber slipped all around her body, becoming bindings at her ankles and wrists, effectively hogtying her. The ball itself became a gag and a blindfold formed of from the material.

Looking towards each other, the two Outers smiled and called Wedge for another pickup while,:

they tried to figure out how to get to the last of the Inners.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Completing sets

by Kestral

Feeling like a chef preparing her latest masterpiece, Mille waited for the

Ting!

to signal the newest trainee for the Seraglio.

It was a pity to have to send some girls back. That Akane Kasuga for example. Or Kaori Nakamura. While they could have reprogrammed them and enhanced them genetically, it was all for the better to just send them back with a souvenir and a partial memory wipe.

Sakura Kasugano, on the other hand, had been talking about several others of her acquaintance whom she thought would be perfect for the position. She gave details on how to find them.

With that, her own denials about wanting to become a Neo-Senshi were proven false obviously.

Now was Mille's favorite part as she rubbed off fluids from the groggy girl with a coarse towel. As programmed, the girl became very aroused very quickly. Yes, it was time for quality assurance.

"Minako!"

"Haruka-san, Michiru-san?" Minako blinked in surprise. "I didn't expect to see you here. Where's Rei?"

"She just left," said Haruka, as Rei's container had already been loaded.

"You just missed her," seconded Michiru.

"Oh darn," said Minako. "I was trying to get the answer to some homework from Ami but she isn't answering her communicator. Rei said I could come over and that she might know."

"Actually, it's convenient. I have something for you," said Haruka, holding up a package.

Minako practically pounced on the brightly wrapped package. "Ooooh! What's the occasion."

Again truthfully, Haruka replied. "When I saw it, I immediately thought of you."

"Oh wow!" Minako started ripping into the package, revealing a plain box under the wrapper. That also was ripped open.

Schumf

The gel quickly spread from her face to cover her entire body then slowly contracted.

"I'm so glad that our Emperor isn't into these things," said Michiru as she picked up one end of the Minako doll.

"At least we can get back to business and we won't have to babysit these kids anymore," remarked Haruka. "Wedge. We've got the last one. Need a pickup here."

The Princesses with their Neo-Senshi abilities weren't exactly wimps.

Leona could become a huge cave lion as Sailor Veldt.

Umi, Sailor Oceania, could conjure a high pressure stream of water.

Dale of the Mongolian tribes, Sailor Mongo, could form archaic weapons of magical energy.

Trolla, Sailor Glacia, had a powerful freezing attack.

Falca of the hawkmen, Sailor Raptor, had wind and lightning attacks.

Steg of the lizardmen, Sailor Dune, had a hypnotic gaze attack and dance.

Nebula, Sailor Mist, could generate a sleep fog.

Lufy, Sailor Wolfen, could psychically track.

Jaru, Sailor Dread, could generate magical darkness.

Graphite, Sailor Volcanus, had gravitational powers.

Hotaru, Sailor Saturn, had a few powerful attacks and a defensive ability.

Setsuna, Sailor Pluto, had some time-based abilities.

The scenes of devastation on Glacia were making more than one of them nervous.

Finally a still picture revealed what looked like:

xenomorphs (Alien)

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Seeing A Foe

by Kender

On the screen before them had been a sight that spoke volumes about what had happened. In what Sailor Galcia had told them should have been a fairly large town was nothing but empty streets filled with devastated properties. Windows were smashed in, walls were rubble and vehicles were propped up in what looked to be thrown together barricades. Obscuring all of this was steam coming from openings in the street which was mixing with naturally cold air to create a mist that hung over everything.

And stepping out of the mist was something that seemed to have stepped out of a child's worst nightmares.

It was at the very least two meters tall, and a jet black color that was almost refused light. There was powered evident in its hard shelled form. The elongated head moved from side to side as if it were looking for something, and a second mouth came out from the first one.

Standing before it was obviously a local life form and from the look of it, possibly someone's pet. The creature was obviously frightened, but it tried to stand bravely against what it knew to be a lethal being. It also had apparently no wish to be killed and when the strike came, the creature bounced away and make for the quickest path to safety.

Where three more of the monsters were waiting for it. They took the poor animal and did things that made those watching it wince. Then the four of them faded back into the mists with their prey.

Back on the ship, there was nary a sound heard. All eyes had been glued to the screen, but when it came to what they had seen, not a few of them were looking for other places to gaze.

Ranma licked dry lips and breathed heavily. "Anybody got any idea what's going on?"

Everyone turned to each other in wordless consultation while:

someone spoke up.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Ted speaks

by Kestral

"Analysis: Yes, actually. Those are bioweapons. Doomsday weapons in fact."

Everyone turned to the mechanical as he watched several screens that had little in the way of useful information as far as anyone else was concerned.

Ranma, however, having seen a dog-critter try and stand up against insurmountable odds and get tortured, felt a pang of remorse and sympathy. "I wish," he mumbled, "that poor dog-thingie had had a chance."

flash

The itty bitty little dog-critter hacked and spat up the horrible thing that been forced down its throat.

The three xenomorphs carrying it suddenly noted something different about it.

There had to be substantial modifications to a creature about twice the size of a cat, that had features of both a cat and a dog, that was actually a Glacian pet called a dorok, if it was to be able to take on four "Aliens" xenomorphs at the same time and have a chance. As it was currently facing three of the xenomorphs, the odds were actually in his favor.

In order to stand a chance against a xenomorph, the dorok had to be faster than the xenomorphs, immune to their acidic blood, and possessing other abilities that would even the odds.

It seemed to fade out of existence as far as the xenomorph senses were confused.

This was all very odd as far as the xenomorphs were concerned. Not truly sentient but clever in the manner of a predatory beast, they began hunting their prey anew.

One of them came apart in spattered bits as a thirty-five pound white hot ball of pseudo-canine fury shattered its outer casing and burrowed inside before shattering it.

As the steaming remains slumped, the other two attacked, only to find the "blip" on their senses fading and heading off into the Glacia hills.

"Bioweapons? Who'd be stupid enough to use a doomsday bioweapon?" General Grimm sounded like an angry landslide.

"Extrapolation: some species which is no longer found among the living." Ted gestured with a telescoping short arm at a display. "Statement: data quite clear. Species is insanely predacious and will quickly overwhelm any biosphere it is placed within. Species also possesses several features which have no place in a naturally evolving bio-species. Conclusion: Species is clearly artificial in origin. Observation: homes and buildings show signs of concerted attacks, weak points found and exploited. Observation: ambush occurred showing signs of planning. Conclusion: species is not tool user but at least semi-sentient."

One of the spy-bots continued to follow the lone xenomorph until it got to a factory. At which point the screen received a very good view of a second xenomorph leaping from a wall to eradicate the bot.

"So what do we do?" asked Ranma, reasonably.

Grimm took this as a request for advice. "Let's try "

finding out what that odd power spike was from on the ship. It could be some sort of explosive."

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Spaced invaders.

by Greyman

A panel on the side of the Yamato opened to release a ball propelled by micro jets. Looking like an eyeball trailed by four antennae, the probe skimmed alongside the hull until it reached its destination, then transmitted its observation to the con.

"That power surge was due to electronic malfunction, Sirs," reported a bridge bunny in control of the drone, who Ranma noticed seemed to be an actual bunny-girl. "We have a hull breach. It appears to be a micro-meteor impact. I'm placing a remote drone's camera on main visual, now."

The image of the mar to the Yamato's new paint job flashed onto the screen. Ted studied it for a moment before sounding as alarmed as he could. "Negative! Warning: breach profile inconsistent with either kinetic impact or internal explosion. Analysis: acidic etching present. Alert: possible penetration by bioweapon. Probability: 99.5% certainty."

"You mean one of those things is up here?" Ranma demanded. "How?"

"We detected no missile launch, Sirs," asserted the bridge bunny.

"Hypothesis: bioweapon contained in organic pod. Explanation: projectile launched by chemical propellant therefore energy signature not detected by missile detection systems. Theory: bioweapon must be considered capable of biological space travel."

The bunny returned to her panel and switched to another window; blips streaked down the screen only to be destroyed by blips launched from a representation of the Yamato. "Sirs, automatic meteor repulsion systems are successfully engaging a shower of micro meteors. No other breaches reported, but if the technos is correct, I recommend we get the heck out of here!"

"Agreed," General Grim resounded. "Engage main drive! My apologies for overriding your command, My Emperor, but we can take no chances with your safety."

"Huh? Right, no problem."

"Yes, problem," Hotaru piped up. "If we've got one of those things on board we've got a big problem."

"Correct," General Grim replied. "I'm afraid that this vessel must be quarantined and destroyed."

"What!?" Ranma cried. "No way! We just built it. I say we hunt that thing down."

Grim frowned, but arguing with a Mongolian Emperor was just not done. "By your command," he saluted, and indicated the com. "Please dispatch combat droids to seek and destroy. I will send my best marines."

Hotaru reached for her new communicator bracelet. "Senshi alert! Ranma-sempai needs us now!"

Ranma grumbled as he gave orders to the robot forces. Having others do the monster hunting for him was part of the whole emperor job that sucked. But maybe, he thought, he could lead a troop on his own. A glance at Hotaru reminded him that he would have a problem with defenceless girls tagging along.

Meanwhile, Haruka and Michiru dealt with a little problem of their own called Sailor Venus.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Getting with the process

by Kestral

The units had been loaded and Michiru was doing Haruka's nails while the two watched the monitors.

NAME: Kumori Mizuno, MD

ARCHETYPE: glamorous doctor

PROGRAMMING: 97%

SPECIALTY: Physician - pediatrics

SENSHI ELEMENT: Biorhythmic Manipulation

SKILL PACKAGES INSTALLED: Advanced Domestic, Advanced Sexual, Obstetrics/Gynecology, Mongolian Technology Operation

SUGGESTED POSITION: Seraglio Physician

NAME: Ami Mizuno

ARCHETYPE: shy nerdette

PROGRAMMING: 89%

SPECIALTY: Analysis; Senshi abilities; rote memorization

SENSHI ELEMENT: water/ice

SKILL PACKAGES INSTALLED: Dance, Basic Domestic, Basic Physician

SUGGESTED POSITION: personal bodyguard/physician to Emperor

NAME: Makoto Kino

ARCHETYPE: gung ho tomboy

PROGRAMMING: 88%

SPECIALTY: Cooking; Martial arts; Senshi abilities

SENSHI ELEMENT: Lightning/wood

SKILL PACKAGES INSTALLED: Dance; Advanced martial arts; Advanced Domestic; Mongolian Technology Operation

SUGGESTED POSITION: Bodyguard/cook

NAME: Rei Hino

ARCHETYPE: spiritualist/passion driven

PROGRAMMING: 87%

SPECIALTY: intuition; Senshi abilities

SENSHI ELEMENT: fire

SKILL PACKAGES INSTALLED: Dance, Basic Domestic

SUGGESTED POSITION: personal bodyguard

NAME: Usagi Tsukino

ARCHETYPE: good natured ditz

PROGRAMMING: 86%

SPECIALTY: Senshi Abilities; Cheerleader

SENSHI ELEMENT: Purification

SKILL PACKAGES INSTALLED: Dance, Basic Sexual Techniques, Basic Domestic, Advanced Domestic

SUGGESTED POSITION: Maid/bodyguard

"You just want to see them wearing those maid uniforms," accused Michiru.

"Darn straight," agreed Haruka.

NAME: Minako Aino

ARCHETYPE: good natured ditz

PROGRAMMING: 85%

SPECIALTY: Senshi Abilities; Volleyball

SENSHI ELEMENT: light/metal/love

SKILL PACKAGES INSTALLED: Basic Domestic, Dance, Advanced Martial Arts, Rifle Use

SUGGESTED POSITION: Bodyguard/dancer

"Too bad we can't speed it up," griped Haruka. "I commissioned some costumes for them."

"It's nice to let Setsuna-san design clothing, it's something she's wanted to do for a long time," agreed Michiru.

Meanwhile:

the hunt for the facehugger continues.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Force Movements

by Kender

"I really don't like this," muttered Patsy as she followed her leader down her squad leader down the ship's corridor.

Luphi snorted quietly. "What's not to like? We're hunting down an creature which we don't know what it looks like, acts like or even what its strengths and weaknesses are."

"Be that as it may," admonished Elutsa, the squad leader, "we have orders coming down from the Emperor himself.

The team communications officer, Rumi blushed. "I don't mind taking orders from him."

"Keep your mind on the job at hand," the second-in-command, Ravvi, told her.

"Besides," offered the team's tech wizard, Ponia, "We have the Emperor's robots helping us.

"I'd prefer Alpon's squad to those 'bots," groused Luphi.

"They're around here too," said Ravvi.

"Oh just great..."

There were a few giggles amongst the squad members as they went back to having their full attention on the job at hand, while:

the hunt for the facehugger continued.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Attack of the facehugger.

by Greyman

Face hugger bug scuttling around the vents. Heavily armed storm trooper marines wandering around without a clue. You know how it goes.

"Ekk!" Patsi cried as the critter jumped out at her. KER-SLAM! resounded the bug as her rock hard hand slammed it into a bulk head. "This ship has got space herpes!"

OMMMMINOUS HUMMMM! Elutsa's blaster began to hum ominously and lit the critter with a glow of doom from the barrel. "Damn it, Patsi, you let it scuttle away!"

"I am not letting you shoot my hand off again! Do you have any idea how much that stings?"

"You're such a cub, Patsy!" Luphi growled. "Now, where did the little sucker get to?"

"Argh! Get it away from me!" Ponia yelped as her hooves started pounding the floor around the confused bug. Leaping high the zebra girl landed on the shoulders of a robot and ordered, "Robots. Exterminate! Exterminate!"

"By your command!" the large silver droids saluted. Glowing scanners swung back and forth in their face plate as weapon barrels lifted.

"Tornado watch!" Ravvi cried as the robots began blasting away indiscriminately. "Duck and cover!"

"Crush! Kill! Destroy! There will be no survivors! Yeah!"

"Ponia, cut that out and shut those blamed things off!" Luphi roared as blaster bolts slammed passed her butt and singed her tail.

"Awww!" Ponia cried as she slid down to the floor and hugged the shiny metal figure of her mount. "Ceasefire, robots! I luv these guys. I'm going to call this one Trigger.."

The critter skittered through a partly open doorway. Unable to find a nice, surprised face to lay its eggs, it did what it did best.

"Oh no!" Rumi gasped. "It's escaping into the men's showers!"

"Quick, after it, ladies," Elutsa ordered as she strode boldly where no woman was meant to go. "Damn it!"

"It must have disappeared down a drain," Ravvi observed as her blaster sights swept the empty stalls, devoid of life, humanoid or alien.

"Uh... yeah, that too," Elutsa agreed. "Forgot they evacuated these decks Erm, I mean, okay, Rummi, call up the big brass. We've sighted the enemy and it's an ugly little squid."

"I think I chipped a nail," Patsi complained as she examined her hand. "Eww, acid burns."

Okay, maybe that was not how it was supposed to go.

Round two: return of the facehugger. Persistant little sucker, aint it? Or maybe just a glutton for punishment?

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Facehugger blues

by Kestral

There was a significant problem with being a facehugger.

Well, other than being ugly as sin and effectively the communicable stage of a parasitic organism.

That was another problem with the species as a whole actually. It required a "host" to grow a new xenomorph. They also had a strong tendency to overrun all potential host species in short order so that they ended up with no hosts for the next generation.

The facehugger prepared to leap and then settled down in a puzzled manner.

The walrus-man pushed his broom as he went past the space herpes.

As he didn't have a proper face, having a mouth that was concealed under layers of tissue that locked against hostile environments, grabbing the janitor and sticking a tube down his throat just wasn't going to happen.

The facehugger scuttled on, undeterred.

"I don't like these uniforms," said one Mongolian soldier. "What's a 'stormtrooper' anyway?"

"I like 'em," said the other soldier. "Armor is a good thing. You remember how that one Emperor (may his name never be spoken in public) wanted us to wear fig leaves."

"Don't remind me," grumbled the first soldier.

Leap! Splat! grind grind grind!

"EWWWWWW, I think last night's mystery meal is trying to get you to eat it," said the second soldier on seeing the critter trying to force its way through a layer of polyceramic.

"I've had meals coming back to haunt me," admitted the first soldier, "but usually it's with Ming's Revenge. Can you put your blaster on low and shoot the damn thing off?"

Zap!

"There it goes!"

"Man, that stuff's uglier the second time around," said the first soldier as the smouldering face hugger ran off.

The facehugger scuttled away, the polyceramic armor (the idea had been that if they were going to wear armored spacesuits they damn well we're going to be functional armor) being a bit too tough for it to penetrate and now it had bruised its proboscis trying to get through.

The sound of running water attracted it. Water = prey!

It crept into the C-deck men's shower. Slowly it approached the weird alien creature before it. Quickly it pounced, having determined that there was a suitable mouth opening there!

"YAGGHHHH! I'm being butt raped by some space herpes!"

The facehugger was puzzled. The prey had just unfolded (from where he'd been trying to pick up the soap) and was not getting sedated.

Several heavily armed women came into the room. "AHAH! There it is, it's got Private Singe by the, uhm, privates. Lughi! The neutralizer!"

"Yes'm!" Lughi stepped over and began pouring white powder all over Singe and the creature.

"Urk!" The facehugger declared as some of the powder got on the open cut.

"Take Singe in hand, and-"

GRAB! "Yes maam!"

"I meant take him to the Infirmary, Lughi!"

"Sorry maam."

"Uhm, what's this stuff?" Singe asked, hoping the white powder wasn't some bioweapon.

"Sodium bicarbonate, baking soda," indicated the Sergeant. "If the creature is highly acidic, applying a base substance would be highly poisonous. Oh, and put the space herpes in a cage. They can dissect it later. We don't want it coming back to life."

"I hate it when that happens," agreed one of the other soldiers.

Meanwhile:

the preparation of various girls for the Emperor.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Ryoga's bogus journey

by Kestral

General Mille and Nodoka dragged their sweat-drenched and exhausted bodies over to the shower and compared notes.

"I favor the tall one with the firm breasts," said Mille after a moment. "No doubt she would provide very healthy and strong babies."

Nodoka scrubbed off, still not sure about the duties of an Imperial Mother, but finding it had its benefits. "The short one wants to be a doctor. I think that would make for an ideal First Wife among this group."

"Perhaps," admitted Mille. "That knowledge of anatomy and those delicate fingers do have a certain appeal."

"The one with the odangos seems nice too, very enthusiastic," added Nodoka, feeling her ribs. "Perhaps a bit too enthusiastic at times."

"There was a problem with the programming sequence," admitted Mille. "Apparently her libido and erotic sensitivity were set a few notches too high. I'll have maintenance check it out."

The two glanced over at the blonde who was draped over the sofa, drooling slightly, but seeming quite pleased with how everything had turned out.

"What of the fire wielder?" Nodoka asked in concern.

"A temporary effect of her enhancements," guessed Mille. "No doubt she'll calm down somewhat as time goes on, and we do keep fire extinguishers on hand for just such an emergency."

"It was all we could do to keep that one from hunting down Ranma and dragging him off to her bed," said Nodoka approvingly.

"Yes, pity about her tripping and hitting her head in the pudding bath," said Mille. "Oh that reminds me, next time I should order banana or chocolate. I'll have to punish whoever suggested tapioca."

"Even if it was yourself?" slyly asked Nodoka.

"Even more so if it was me," admitted Mille. "In any case, we should check on how things are going with the Emperor. He may have discovered what is wrong on Glacia."

It had been a sort of catlike dog or doglike cat. An alien pet about twice the size of a terrestrial housecat.

Ranma had almost idly focussed the Great Will upon it and wished that it stood a chance against the attack of four of the monsters. The Great Will had been given a blank check.

The critter, whose name translated as Fluffy, continued to change. Body tissues that were sufficiently dense that they could stand up to claws and jaws of the larger aliens. A protein coating that shed molecular acid and rendered it inert. Extremely high speed, and able to mask its presence to the IR and echolocation abilities of the xenomorph. He continued to change after escaping the group.

When he finally finished altering, the pet that had started out was something that didn't resemble the finished product that much. Fluffy was still a predator and potential pet, but now he was a xenomorph-ivore. He now had an even chance if confronted with a pack of four of the xenomorphs, and was quite capable of picking off stragglers or scouts on his own.

Fluffy was also fairly intelligent, as the xenomorphs could practice pack tactics and were more than accomplished in sneaking and ambushing themselves - in order to survive and thrive, Fluffy had to be better at such things.

As Fluffy found a scout and ripped it apart, he reflected that it tasted rather like chicken.

If the xenomorphs had evolved on a world of their own, there would have been creatures that were normally prey to them and there would have been creatures who preyed on them.

They had not. Therefore the xenomorphs had no idea what to do about a xenomorph-predator.

Ranma listened to the explanation of what they'd found with these things and, as it was being put into simple terms, understood.

"The enemy is a xenomorph. We have seen two examples of the breed since their initial appearance. The tall serpentine rubbery looking ones with the claws and extra jaws is some form of Adult stage. The little spider-thing was it's immature state." Grim had said, pointing to pictures of both. He clicked on another picture. "This was removed from Private Singe's posterior. It is a parasitic organism, something like a burrowing worm, which absorbs nutrients and life from the host. We think it probably devours the victim from inside and then burrows out to become the adult stage we saw attacking the native pet."

Pictures of the creatures attacking the pet were shown. "These are fast, clever, and vicious. The tail has a blade for slashing and is prehensile - it can hang from tree branches or strangle prey with it, it has long claws, a moderate outer armor shell, and the outer and inner jaw mechanisms. We don't know approximate bite strength, so we're basing estimates on insect models. None of these would be a particular problem for a group of Mongolian Marines, except that they seem ideally suited for stealth operations and picking off loners. There is also their blood to consider, a molecular acid - very potent and highly poisonous. Slash one with a sword or smash it with your fists, and you're liable to find yourself dissolving from impact splashes."

General Grimm gestured and Princess Graphite held up a weapon similar to a rifle. "As their bodies contain a strong acid, we've brought these out of storage. You might remember them from our campaign against the Flame Lords Of Efreet?"

"Ah, yes," said Captain Krunch of Supply. "The anti-flame guns."

"Exactly," said Grimm. "These fire off shells that explode with a sodium tricarbonate mix, a very powerful flame retardant and base. Shoot an acid spill with these and it will neutralize it."

Ranma frowned. Guns. He didn't care for guns at all. Still, punching something that was going to eat away your hand didn't sound too good either. Maybe if he had a weapon that could deal with 'em.

The tattoo that ended on his palm glittered slightly.

Space is big. Really big. With all apologies to Douglas Adams.

"Where the hell am I NOW?!"

In space, no one can hear you scream.

"RANMA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Even when you're right.

"Maybe this lever?" Snap!

Which is why this spaceship (using a Mongolian drive system - hence the flames and smoke from the exhaust) continued to careen on.

"ArrgghhhhHHhhH!"

Out of the solar system.

"Damnit! Maybe this blue button?"

Out of the spiral arm.

"Big band music? Why does a spaceship play big band music?! ARRGGHHH. Ranma! You'll pay for making me listen to Glenn Miller for 30,000 parsecs!"

Out of the Milky Way galaxy.

"Maybe the red button?" Poom!

Out of the galactic cluster.

"That didn't sound good at all."

[WARNING! Weapons Are Armed And Targeting Mechanism Has Not Been Engaged!]

"Weapons? What kind of weapons? Dang it! Why couldn't this be written in Japanese?! I'm not that good at English!"

[Targeting Planet With Destructo Ray!]

"NO! Maybe the Blue Button?"

[Targeting Planet With Tommy Dorsey Music.]

"Well, that's a little better, I guess."

[We Are Being Hailed. Answer?]

"Wait a minute. Maybe this switch?"

Never mind Hibiki, what about the Nerima Wrecking Crew?

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Back On The Homefront

by Kender

"Now the houses will never be joined!" sobbed Soun as he sat on the porch of the Tendo home.

"Don't worry," said Genma.

"We came back to find Ranma gone and that is all you can say?!"

"Come down. I have the perfect plan for getting my ungrateful son back."

The tears dried up and were replaced by eagerness. "You do?"

"Of course I do!"

"What is it?"

"It is simple. We simply find a ship and grab a ride so that we can get to where he is. And when we find him, we'll have Akane save him this time, and he'll jump at the chance to marry her!"

"I am not marrying that jerk!" barked Akane, who'd been worriedly imagining presses with electrified spikes only moments earlier.

"Come on Akane," Soun said to her soothingly.

Nabiki looked up from the book where she'd been checking her accounts for the souvenirs. "So you're going to go against an entire alien army with possible death squads?"

*SPLASH!* [Who, me?] read Genma-panda's sign.

"I thought so."

At first Mousse had been ecstatic that his only obstacle to the heart of his fair Shampoo was now gone, but then the disappearances had started. Attractive young ladies had vanished without a trace and only a few had been seen again. Which made him very panicked for the one he so cared for.

"Come Shampoo! We must get you someplace safe!" he told her.

"Shampoo is Amazon. No run away from danger."

"But they will come for you!"

"How stupid Mousse see that?"

"No one could ever doubt that your beauty would be a target for those villains!"

"You is spending too much time with Stick-boy."

"Uhh..."

"How bad guy supposed to find Shampoo when Shampoo looking for very important artifact?"

"Forget Saotome and come where I can protect yoooo..." *WHAM! CRASH! THUD!*

"Shampoo can take care of self. Thank very much."

"Come brother! This time, my rocket shall finally succeed in allowing me to return to my Ranma-darling's arms!" declared Kodachi.

"Why do you persist in wishing to join with that coward, demented sister? For surely he has fled so that he may hide from the righteous strength of my blade!"

"Really brother. I should think that you would realize that this is to be a rescue mission of the utmost importance."

"Certainly I do! As I have seen his disappearance, I went to finally receive my lovely Akane's love now that the foul sorcerer that was keeping her from was gone. Yet, his magicks still linger as she protested what was surely the reason for the beating of her heart. In addition, I have not seen the wondrous pigtailed girl anywhere in evidence."

"Who would care for that harlot when my dear Ranma is in danger!"

"That frail flower of womanhood is likely with that cretin Saotome and being subjected to the most heinous of alien tortures!"

"We both wish to get to Ranma before those alien creatures do him some harm?"

"Of course. It would not do to have some alien being attempt to harm one who it is the mighty Tatewakei Kuno's task to punish!"

"Then we must create the rocket that will allow us to go to where he is being held!"

*"We are sorry, but this number is no longer in service,"* went the recorded message coming out of the speaker, *"And no Miss Kuonji, NASA can not help you at this time."*

Ukyo stared at the phone handset that she was holding while:

the villain who had sent the xenomorphs was plotting.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: the required villain plotting in shadows scene

by Kestral

SCENE: Darkened basement. The place looks like a weird combination of high school science lab, B-movie evil-sorcerer's workshop, and a mad scientist laboratory from another B-movie.

"Bwahahahahahahahaha -hurk," said the mad scientist, drawing himself up to his full height of 4'9" as soon as he recovered from choking at the end of his evil laugh.

"They thought I was crazy for grabbing that stuff, they did, hee hee, after that crazy girl 'Mimette' digitized herself and died. Hee hee hee. Now who laughs last, eh? Mugen High gone. Go boom! Hee hee hee. But now I have done IT! Bwahahaha! Reversed action I have! Her mistake it was! Put herself in digital realm, when I can take digital and make it... REAL! Bwahahahahahahaha hurk!"

The mad scientist, briefly revealed as being maybe fourteen, scuttled from shadow to shadow over to his video collection.

"Aliens out there. Mine yes. Xenomorphs. Heh heh. Okay, maybe not my best idea. What to fight them with yes. Created my own spaceship out of Warp Shuttle from that Star Trek movie. Now what? Heh heh. Yesss. That will do!"

Daleks begin rolling out into Glacia's environment.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Escalation of the Extermination Agenda.

by Greyman

The test had been simple. He'd selected a frozen wasteland populated by what he saw a species of yeti then dropped a meteor containing retro digitised xenomorph pods onto the glacial moon. Protected from the entry by a hull of chitinous ceramic, the pods had hatched and released thousands of scuttlebugs. Most of these had promptly froze to death - though adapted to survive in the radiative cold of space, they were still vulnerable to the convective cold of the glacial moon.

However, just one had survived long enough to implant a larval worm into a curious native but that was all it took. The native's stomach had provided the perfect incubation site for the next stage of the xenomorph's parasitic life cycle. The unwitting host had also provided acquired traits to enabled the developing queen to survive in Glacia's harsh environment.

The host had also unknowingly taken it's passenger to a nesting site with plenty of food and incubators for the next generation. The population had simply exploded from there.

There is a fable about a king who attempted to rid his castle of mice by bringing in cats, than dogs to chase out the cats, lions to move the dogs, elephants to chase out the lions and finally mice to scare away the elephants. This amusing tale was meant to illustrate that the solution can sometimes be worse than the problem and that escalation never solved anything. Obviously a certain someone hadn't paid attention to such things as a child.

Yo eliminate the perfect biological weapon, the junior mad scientist chose to send in the perfect cybernetic weapon.

Though the DARLEK's bodies had atrophied to near uselessness, they were encased in a life support system that doubled as a killing machine. They were basically brains in tanks.

They had one thing in common with the xenomorphs; both were implacably hostile to life forms not of their own kind. The DARLEKs response to encountering a xenomorph was predictably. With a battle cry of "Exterminate! Exterminate!" they began doing so with the energy weapon mounted in their armored shell. The xenomorphs responded by soundlessly ripping apart those shells to get at the tasty meat inside whenever their stealth and speed could get passed the DARLEKs advantage of range and firepower.

This battle of Mutual Assured Destruction did not go unnoticed. While the Yamato had withdrawn from close orbit to avoid further contamination, drone satellites continued their tireless surveillance and dutifully reported the detection of faint energy signatures from beneath the icy surface.

Elsewhere, some other development had developed.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: the wonderful Emperor of Mongo

by Kestral

"There appears to be a big battle going on," mused General Grimm. "Two entirely separate species which are battling on Glacia for control of the sphere."

"I see," said Ranma. He didn't watch a lot of British TV or go to the movies a lot, and so didn't recognize either. "Suggestions?"

"Rather than make this a three way battle, we should observe and see if we can find any holdouts from the original Glacia inhabitants," suggested General Grimm. "If we need to make a stand, it is best to do so for an overriding purpose."

"I see," repeated Ranma, yawning. Hey, you try to keep up with a buncha princesses!

General Grimm noted the Emperor's gesture. "I'll see to it then. Shall we launch fighters to make sure nothing attempts to flee the battle?"

"That sounds good," agreed Ranma. "Don't want those 'space herpes' things around. Y'all can shoot 'em down."

General Grimm gave the appropriate orders.

Dramatic music began to play from the loudspeakers.

There were many groups that would normally pay lipservice to the Emperor. There were several groups, who had survived the past three Emperors, who would do everything they possibly could to keep their current one.

The Mongolian Army was used to being cannon fodder. It wasn't that many generations ago that they were armed cavalry and infantrymen armed with pikes. Now they were wearing funky white armored spacesuits based on Ranma's design (which was Stormtrooper armor from Star Wars) and carrying laser carbines that could fire bursts! That he had come up with armor as his first design stated his concern for their forces! (Actually he'd been told it was tradition for the Emperor to design motifs of armor and the like. They had meant uniforms. Ranma had suggested the Stormtrooper armor because that had been all he could think of. Though eventually he did come up with these nice red shirts and black pants for lower ranked members.) As he was the first Emperor to properly appreciate them, they'd follow him to Glacia if he commanded it. (Though they'd much rather go invade Tropica.)

The Mongolian Space Force was used to the old cylinders of Ming's day. As they dropped into space from the deck of the Yamato, more than one was glad of the sleek shapes and lots of missiles that they had now.

The Mongolian Rangers and Special Forces were glad of the Emperor. Anyone who could put up with, much less satisfy, that many princesses was clearly a man among men!

Even the Mongolian Death Squads (who were actually fairly old men and women since no new ones had been hired since Ming's days and had gone from being the "feared scourges of space" to mainly sitting around and playing shuffleboard) were glad of the new Emperor. Land's sakes, they hadn't had gossip this good in ages!

The sentient robots of Teknos also valued the new Emperor. Their factories were going at 100% and they were getting all sorts of new respect and accolades within the Empire.

The farmers weren't quite sure how, as they had no idea about the Great Will, but they were also solidly behind the Emperor due to the sudden flourishing of their farms. All it had taken was the Emperor touring their largely barren farms and by the next day it was practically a jungle. The soil had become so enriched that plants were growing almost visibly. (Farmer Jonnz was in fact insisting that his plants were growing while he watched. It should be noted however that Farmer Jonnz made a form of corn liquor that most people used to clean rust off of metal but that he had been known to drink for "medicinal purposes".)

As Ranma, largely without suspecting, brought a new pride (who couldn't avoid a certain degree of pride on watching a column of Destroids loading into a lander and realizing that you were on the same side?) and prosperity to Mongo, the effect spread.

So on hearing the "launch" music playing, the Black Tiger squadron set out and started shooting alien pods that had been left behind in Glacia orbit.

The Emperor had ordered them to protect the Empire! Shoot down any enemy of the Empire you see!

"Red Five, why are you shooting at an asteroid?"

"It has a mean look to it, sir!"

"Red Twelve, what are you shooting at? There's nothing out there!"

"Warning shots, sir!"

"Wee hee hee hee! I got a BEM!"

"That was a rock, Red Five."

In some ways it was really a darn pity that they weren't more competent, though enthusiasm and high powered lasers *did* take care of the immediate problem.

Shinobu held her hand up, pinky extended. "Serious? Don't do it if you don't mean it!"

Hotaru linked her pinky with that of Shinobu Maehara. "Friends!"

"So what you want to do?" Shinobu asked her new friend.

"..."

"Besides play with Ranma-sempai."

Hotaru blushed. "Uhm."

"Cards?" Shinobu held up a deck.

"As long as it isn't Old Maid," said Hotaru.

Meanwhile:

Akane was looking over the rocketship in their backyard. "Where did this come from?"

"Oh," Nabiki answered. "Kodachi paid me to get her a spaceship. So I went on Ebay..."

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: One used spaceship...Cheap?!

by Bryan

Akane was looking over the rocketship in their backyard. "Where did this come from?"

"Oh," Nabiki answered. "Kodachi paid me to get her a spaceship. So I went on Ebay..."

And bought it from..." (More Spaceship Choices)

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: (More Spaceship Choices) [Episode 38081]

by Greyman

Akane was looking over the rocketship in their backyard. "Where did this come from?"

"Oh," Nabiki answered. "Kodachi paid me to get her a spaceship. So I went on Ebay and bought it from ..."

some old woman who found it in her garage after her old tenants moved out.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: My Favourite Scam

by Greyman

Akane was looking over the rocketship in their backyard. "Where did this come from?"

"Oh," Nabiki answered, "Kodachi paid me to get her a spaceship. So I went on Ebay from some old woman in America who found it in her garage after some of old tenants moved out. Heh; it's bound to have great millage as Mrs. Brown said the O'Hara's never used it."

"Does it work?" Akane asked.

"Feh, I doubt it," Nabiki snorted. "Not for the price I paid. It's probably some old movie prop or something. Looks real enough though, doesn't it."

"It's small though," Akane remarked as she walked around the "space ship". It was little more than a metallic casket with room for one person. It did, however, have lots of fancy controls and things on the inside and realistic looking rocket exhausts on the rear.

"That's the beauty of it," Nabiki remarked. "There's only room for one person, so guess what happens when Kodachi, Ukyo and Shampoo find out about it at the same time?"

Akane frowned. "Well, I guess they'll fight over it and during the battle..."

"Exactly," Nabiki agreed. "Of course I can't be held responsible for damages, now can I? However, I need you to make sure..."

"Leave me out of this," Akane snorted and turned around.

"But Akane..." Nabiki protested just as...

Soun and Genma came out, thanked Nabiki and shoved Akane into the ship.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Akane's Unexpected Trip [Episode 38096]

by Kestral

Akane looked inside. "Hey, what's this writing?"

Soun and Genma appeared from hiding. shove, stuff, latch

"HEY!" Akane was understandably peeved at being shoved and locked into a metal casket.

"Thanks Nabiki," said Soun, handing over some funds to the waiting girl.

"Go get that ungrateful son of mine!" Genma proclaimed and slammed his hand down on the outer hull.

FwoooooooooooooooooooooSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"Oops," said Genma who hadn't actually intended to launch the silly thing.

"You should have let me set the controls," said Nabiki drily as her sister and ship were rocketed off into space. "Oh well. At least I got paid!"

"You have another one?" asked Kodachi as she bounced off the wall and landed in the backyard.

"Depends on your funds," said Nabiki.

Kodachi held up a wad of yen notes she'd stolen from her brother.

Snatch! "I have just the thing, gotten from some family that had an Alien Life Form they called ALF," said Nabiki as she counted bills. "Amazing what you can find on ebay nowadays."

Doctor Zakharov continued to move at the best speed he could. He was almost past the front door now!

Of course, with his oxygen bottle, using his walker, and trying to sneak - that was about 400 yards he'd covered. And he'd had to take two naps to get this far.

The rescue of Earth was going to take a little time.

It had been a dorok. A cat/dog sort of pet about twice the size of a terrestrial housecat.

Due to Ranma seeing it get taken out by four xenomorphs, he had wished that it had stood a chance. The Great Will had clicked on.

Now Fluffy was about the size of a German Shepherd, had thick plates decorated by sharp spines it could shoot off, claws, jaws, and a tail that ended in a blade. It was immune to their acid, able to mask its presence to their senses, and faster than was typical of the xenomorphs it now hunted.

It noticed these new invaders and was sufficiently intelligent to go to ground. The tailed things stuck to low lying areas except at night, and even then tended to avoid higher elevations unless their attention was called to something. The noisy metal boxes were even easier to avoid.

Fluffy decided to sit tight while it observed. It remembered being a pet, beloved by its family and loving them in return. Nasty hissing black things killed family. Fluffy hadn't stood a chance and so had fled. Now Fluffy knew that it indeed had a chance. Fluffy was hurting nasty hissing black things in return now.

After noisy tin cans were done. Let them finish first.

For now Fluffy would rest, lick wounds, and dream of when Fluffy had family.

In space no one can hear you scream.

"AAGHHHHHH! RANMA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Unless you've put your radio on General Broadcast and smashed the mike into the "on" position as you wildly careen through the cosmos.

"WHERE THE HELL AM I, ANYWAY?!"

As you race through a planetary atmosphere triggering all sorts of planetary alerts and violating the airspace of a paranoid group of aliens.

"AGHHHH! NOT ANOTHER WEIRD UGLY ALIEN CITY!"

Now that they had been insulted as well as trespassed against, fighters began being launched.

"RANMA! BECAUSE OF YOU I HAVE SEEN HELL!"

Now even more insulted, more ships were launched.

Several of the alien ships noticed the fleet chasing the odd ship and immediately queried for positional instructions.

They'd just follow this alien back to his homeworld and then they'd do something suitably nasty.

Daleks blasted away at Alien xenomorphs. Alien xenomorphs ripped apart metal shells to get at the tasty Dalek meat.

Unfortunately for the Daleks, they were best adapted to city environments without a lot of stairs. Their superior firepower and range was not as much use in street fights when the xenomorphs could pop up out of nearly anywhere.

That was not to say the Daleks were pushovers by any definition. It did mean that they were losing.

The fourteen year old mad scientist noticed this and compounded his earlier two mistakes by adding a third component to the battle.

Unfortunately the retro digitized creatures he'd chosen for this were not the hive animals of the xenomorphs, nor the relatively simple Daleks.

No, these were:

Terminators. He digitized the mechanicals from the second movie. Ted is fascinated by the designs.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Advance Of The Machines

by Kender

Out on the icy slopes, a sort of battle was being waged. The Daleks were out and blasting at any of the Xenomorphs that they could find. In response, the xenomorphs were tearing open the tin cans that held such tasty little snacks when they could sneak up on them. Neither was about to call for a cease fire, and that was going to mean that the winner was going to be decided by the simple factor of who had any member still alive when the other side was wiped out.

Then the Terminators arrived.

Being robotic life forms, they were easily produced if one had the proper facilities, and mass quantities could be created very quickly. They needed no rest, and no sustenance. Survival was not something they particularly cared about, if only for themselves. Properly programmed, they could be very loyal to whomever they were directed to.

Unfortunately, the machines bought out by the junior high mad scientist had been taken directly from the movies that had been produced. This meant that the programs that drove them were the same ones that they would have received had Skynet actually created them.

As a result, they 'cared' for only to things; destruction of opponents and their own dominance. They would not stop until all threats were eliminated. Until then, they would seek out and destroy any and all possible enemies that they could find.

Which included the xenomorphs and Daleks.

Pulse blasts from a hovering craft turned a group of Daleks into burnt out shells. Xenomorphs that went after the two legged 'creatures' that appeared found themselves full of holes. Boths groups suddenly realized that this had become a three war.

And then the battle really got started.

Up on the Yamato, those watching found themselves seeing a scene that was becoming ever more dangerous. It was quite obvious that situation was only going to get worse. And that had been before the newest arrivals had come along. Not one of them could find much good in the problem.

"Observation: Those designs seem to be very functional and adaptable," commented Ted.

Several people turned to stare at him, while:

Akane was out discovering the Solar System.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Star Trekkin' across the universe... [Episode 39607]

by Kestral

Space was big. Really big. Etcetera.

Akane's spaceship shook slightly as she tried to twist around and get her own elbow out of her ear.

"Meow?"

"Out, Shampoo!"

"Meow, fttt!"

"How did you get in here, anyway?"

"Meow meow meow meow MEOW meow meow."

"Gotcha," said Akane. "You saw a spaceship, changed into a cat, snuck on board, and waited for your chance to go rescue Ranma."

"Meow nyu niaow?"

"No, I can't speak Cat, I just figured it was the most likely explanation."

"Niew!"

"Don't suppose you've got any cards."

"Mew mew."

"Pity."

"Mew?"

"Never mind, I just found a peephole. We just passed the moon. You can wait till our next stop before getting out."

Nabiki began counting her profit.

"Ouch!" Kodachi said.

Nabiki blinked and checked. "How on Earth did you manage to get in there?"

"Gymnasts (oooh) must be (uhmf) flexible. I also do yoga."

Nabiki shrugged. She'd gotten paid so it didn't matter that much. "Whatever."

zummmmmmmmm! a pair of doors slowly latched shut.

Nabiki was about to turn away when she noticed Genma tying a rope around the spaceship. "Excuse me. What exactly are you trying to do?"

"It is imperative that Akane be the one to rescue my stupid ungrateful son," said Genma as he finished tying the knot. "Now all I have to do is tie this around the dojo..." (stomp, splash) [Forgot about that fire pail, sorry.]

Nabiki thought a few moments, got a camera, and sat down well away from dojo, Genma, and rocket.

FWOOOOSHHHHHHHH!The spaceship rocketed up into the air.

Twang! The rope that Genma Saotome was tying around the dojo went taut.

"BUHAW!" Genma-panda discovered he had been caught by the suddenly tightening rope.

RIP! CRUNCH!The dojo came off the support pillars as a single unit.

ShuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuThe spaceship, rope, screaming Genma, and dojo rose majestically up into the air.

Gleam! Eventually disappearing into the sky as a single glittering point of light before fading away entirely.

"WAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Soun Tendo began wailing and putting forth torrents of tears as his beloved dojo, including shrine, vanished into the clear afternoon sky.

Nabiki smirked. The purchase of a camera with autofocus and auto-advance features had just been vindicated.

"...and in news today, this picture of an alien spacecraft towing a small outbuilding and a panda was taken by the American Space Shuttle. NASA explains this as an optical illusion caused by sunspot activity and swears that they have not been launching endangered species into orbit. Both PETA and the World Wildlife Organization have protested the unethical treatment of pandas and vowed legal action as soon as they figure out who to sue. And on to sports..."

"Nyet, Ukyo Kuonji, der Russian Space Program is not going to the planet Mongo. Haff you tried NASA?"

Ukyo hung up the phone and turned to the board. She'd run out of leads, so who could she consult?

Maybe if she...

tried ordering something out of this ACME catalog?

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Buying Travel [Episode 40453]

by Kender

Plopping down a catalog the size of a phone book, Ukyo started flipping through the pages looking for something that would give her something that she wanted. She needed something that would allow her to get from Earth to where ever Ranma was. And she needed it somewhere within her price range. (Especially since even her cooking didn't sell that well.)

"Hmm... attack robots... exploding carrots... rocket skates... Here we go, space ships," she murmured, looking at what was on sale. She blinked at what was being offered there. Apparently they were selling fully functional rockets, ships, and saucers at really low prices, even absurdly low.

Oh well, who was she to look such a gift horse in the mouth. This way, she'd definitely be able to afford something to travel out to the stars. Sure, a small part at the back of her mind wondered just why they were so cheap, but for the most part she wasn't going to question her good fortune.

After all, her Ran-chan's safety was at stake, and nothing was going to stop her from saving him. Picking up her phone, she dialed the number and waited until she got a connection.

*"Hello, this is ACME Catalogue Sales Japan. How may we help you?"* asked the operator.

"Yes, I'd like to place an order," the chef said, while:

the three way battle on the ice planet was continuing.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Terminate and Exterminate.

by Greyman

Fluffy snarled angrily at the alien insect-reptiles surrounding her. They hissed back but circled warily. The steam of their breath frosted immediately, but even in the bitter cold atmosphere of Glacia the xenomorphs could detect the scent of Fluffy's previous encounters with their kind. The killers were highly adaptable and voracious predators but they were certainly not stupid. Faced with a superior life form they hesitated for a moment then turned tail and fled.

An infuriated Fluffy snarled then gave chase. Her body immediately began to adapt from a close-combat form to one suited for high-speed pursuit. The hindmost xenomorph squealed as a pouncing Fluffy leapt on top of it. Powerful jaws crushed armoured carapace and fangs ripped through the steel hard muscles beneath. Alkaline saliva immediately neutralised the acidic ichor, leaving only a bitter flavour in Fluffy's mouth.

Lifting her head high, Fluffy gave a lonesome howl of triumph, then leapt off the rapidly freezing corpsicle to set off in pursuit of the rest of the pack. One by one she slaughtered her way through them, but there always seemed to be more ahead as the new members joined the pack. There seemed to be a never ending opportunity for revenge.

Then, there was something new. The sneaky lizard things had entered a tunnel, not of ice, but rock. Fluffy followed without hesitation. The resulting ambush lead to the death of more killers.

Panting with exertion but charged with a inexhaustible rage, Fluffy prowled deeper into the tunnels and ever thicker swarms of the reptilian bugs. Then, suddenly they were gone, vanished into the honeycombed maze. Fluffy picked out the strongest spore trail and adapted into a tracker.

Eventually the tunnels opened into an enormous cavern. Fluffy prowled across the chamber floor, sniffing at the rocks curiously. The chamber smelled strongly of the unmistakable stench of her enemy, but nary a one popped into sight. She raised her muzzle to howl in fury, but paused.

Above her, the Mother Of All Aliens hissed from the high ceiling; an enormous bloated monster far out of reach. Fluffy howled in rage at the sight of her ultimate enemy. Then, all around her, the 'rocks' began to crack open.

Fluffy whirled in confusion at the appearance of a new creature. Small, but extremely fast, spidery, scorpion-like things sprang out of the eggs lining the cavern floor to leap into Fluffy's swatting paws and snapping teeth.

The alien queen screamed in outrage as her 'children' swarmed over their intended host only to die en masse before a single one could inject a larvae. But the losses meant nothing if only one could infest that superior form and acquire it's traits.

Then another infuriating event occurred.

Gleaming metallic skeletons stomped into the far side of chamber, emerging from the tunnels. Pods cracked open at the vibration of their passage, only to burst apart under a barrage of gunfire immediately directed their way. Emotionless, mechanical voices announced their intentions.

"All life forms must be terminated. Exterminate! Exterminate!"

The few critters that survived scuttled underfoot in confusion, unable to locate a suitable host. The T-800's synthetic flesh had long since been shattering by cold or dissolved by acid, leaving their metallic frames mostly functional but completely unappetising to the parasites. Those bugs that were not blasted apart were crushed under the feet of the advancing terminators.

Across the chamber, Fluffy's tail wagged at the sight of forms, skeletal and metallic, but recognisable humanoid. She bounded across the chamber with a gleeful yelp, then howled in confusion as the T-800's immediately peppered her thick pelt with projectile weapons.

Fluffy rolled over and played dead. Bugs started to crawl over her, but the terminators turned their gunfire upon bulk of the alien queen as the bitch dropped from the ceiling. With the mechanical's attention diverted, a confused Fluffy slunk away into the tunnels.

Bullet shells popped out of rapidly healing flesh as the injured pet made her way through the tunnels. She lay panting in an alcove and whimpered as an inquisitive alien's head poked around the corner.

The black armoured head withdrew suddenly, followed by the sounds of combat. Pieces of alien splattered against the tunnel walls, then their was silence.

A second alien head peered around the corner, this one of gleaming quicksilver. Mechanical sensors probed the alcoves shadows, then the liquid metal T-2000, morphed into a shape it found perfectly suited to hunting aliens, moved on. In the alcove, the air rippled as Fluffy stirred then lay still and near invisible. Her stealth adaptation had been completed just in time to conceal her while she healed.

In the pod chamber, the alien queen lay bleeding among the tangled ruin of T-800 frames. She looked up as familiar shapes emerged from the tunnel, then it was her turn to hiss in confused betrayal as they swarmed over her. Only at the last moment did she realise that they lacked the acidic scent of her children. Then it was simply too late.

The terminators looked up as new intruders glided into the chamber. The daleks ploughed through the pods like icebreakers and surveyed the ruins. A gold dalek emerged from the middle of its escort an approached the liquid silver terminators with unconcerned arrogance.

"Report!" the gold dalek demanded.

A single silver alien-form advanced from the pack then spoke. "All resistance has been crushed. All life forms have been terminated. All their bases belong to us!"

"Excellent!" the dalek gloated. "I will report to the Emperor Dalek. We will conquer this system. We will be victorious! The Dalek shall reign supreme."

Deep inside the quicksilver aliens, loyalty programming stirred, then fell silence. Skynet, daleks, whatever. The terminator machines were loyal to whomever they were programmed to obey. Finding themselves on an alien landscape and suddenly cut off from the Skynet, the terminators had immediately destroyed all bioforms they encountered but attempted to seek information from what they identified as mechanical forms.

The tide of battle had turned in the dalek's favour as their technicians had seized the initiative.

Ted considered what he was going to send in to mop up the dalek and terminator union. Predators? Borg?

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Oh no, not THEM!

by Kestral

Ted had shot some camouflaged passive sensors into the area. Data was collected and began being sent to the moon of Teknos for analysis.

The cyborg life forms shaped like a pinecone had subsumed command of the purely machine warriors after a few skirmishes between the two. Determine the mechanism and those machine warriors could be either immobilized or brought about to Teknosian command. This was the simplest and most desirable outcome, and would allow for further study of these warriors and their curious technology.

Other Mongolian ships had long been on patrol in the area, and were now being upgraded so as to keep up the quarantine.

Would you believe that he was a mad scientist?. How about a weird science student? How about a fourteen year old kid playing at being a mad scientist and finding himself way in over his head?

Well, actually, that was Koichi's general description, and he was deeply regretting that he had chosen "rule the world" as an occupation goal when he could simply have retro digitized some Playboy bunnies and had a fun weekend.

Unfortunately, he had two things going for him that he had in common with the typical "Ranma 1/2" character. Stubbornness and a lack of common sense. A wiser or more intelligent 14 year old boy would have just called it off, gone home, loaded some typically plotless hentai video featuring a lot of curvaceous and willing babes and had a party.

Instead what Koichi did was similar to the story of the old woman and the fly. There once was an old lady who swallowed a fly (i don't know why she swallowed the fly), and swallowed a spider to catch the fly, and swallowed a bird to catch the spider, and swallowed a cat to catch the bird, and swallowed a dog to catch the bird... and so on. The situation was beginning to resemble that and similar old 'Cautionary Tales' but who was Koichi to listen to old stories or historical parallels?

Koichi looked over his video collection and tried to figure out what he could do to fix the situation. What could possibly stand up to the Terminators, the Daleks, and the few Alien xenomorphs still running around? What could he toss out that would not be hostile to him?

Koichi grinned as he spotted one seldom watched tape sitting there. Something he'd never really gotten into, but if anything could withstand those frigid temperatures and start bringing down the Daleks, this would!

Huh? Wait a minute. Wrong tape! He had put the wrong tape in the 'Record Of Lodoss Wars' box.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not THEM!" Even evil mad scientists (or wanna be) had some standards.

"Mew?"

"I don't read Martian but I think I know what it means."

"Meow?" asked Shampoo.

"I think it means 'Out Of Gas'," said Akane, noting that they were beginning to fall towards a red planet.

Clank!

"I think that means we're saved," said Akane hopefully.

"Why are we rescuing them?" Ensign Extra queried as he operated the big robot arm of the Space Garbage Truck Luxion.

"Orders from the days of Emperor Wang the Unlucky," said Lieutenant Ace, the unfortunate captain of this vessel. Once he'd been a highly decorated fighter pilot. Once he'd been a promising young officer of the Mongolian Space Force. Alas, for the error in judgement - one lousy decision fifteen years previous - and now he captained a garbage scow. Damn that Katrina! "Ships which are in distress not belonging to a designated enemy are to be rescued when possible."

"Pfeh," said Ensign Extra, who'd wanted to see both ships burn up in their respective atmospheres.

"Be that as it may, the Moonians and these Martians are not a designated enemy," said Ace. "At least if they are, I haven't seen a memo. Set their ship into Bay #3 with the other one and repressurize it. Queen, Joker, Jack, Deuce? Bay#3. Find out what kind of atmosphere these Martians use and make them comfortable. Three? As a Teknosian, perhaps you could look over the ships and fix them?"

The intercom crackled. "Statement: will comply. Observation: recording of inspection will be sent to Teknos for further study and technological evaluation."

"We're on it, boss," came the gruff voice of Deuce as his team replied.

"And make sure that large animal is penned up," said Ace. "Something that large has to be a carnivore!"

Meanwhile, back on Glacia, the creatures that Koichi had retro digitized out where they could fight the Terminators/Daleks/Xenomorphs was now running into some problems as they were:

Smurfs.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: A Dark Shade Of Blue

by Kender

They were small, blue and too numerous to count. Each of them marched away from where they had been brought into existence. It was oddly cold and windy where they were but all they had to do would be to walk and they were certain to get back to the village.

"La la lalala..," they sang as they made their ways over the icy reaches, surprising those who were already there.

The Daleks looked at the tiny creatures and came to only one conclusion.

And it was not to join in the song.

"That is just so wrong," commented the sensor officer who had been assigned to keep an eye on the visuals of what was happen on Glacia's surface.

"What is?" asked her superior.

"That."

"What are you... EWWW!"

"That's what I thought."

"Poor little guys."

"Yeah. Guess we have to tell the Emperor."

"I think so. Or a General at least."

On the screen, the Daleks were doing things to the Smurfs that were not at all 'Smurf-erific' and completely vicious and nasty.

At the same time,:

research was continuing on in the Empire.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: The factories of Teknos [Episode 40858]

by Kestral

"Ted" was actually Teknosian Humaniform X(Transformer) -1138. Teknos was one of the moons added by Wang, and they were a machine intelligence that could not reproduce. They could make machines but to make self-aware individuals was beyond their capabilities. They had been built by some ancient humanoid civilization, and Wang had offered them access to Mongolian technology and access to other technologies that the forces of Mongo would eventually contact.

It was a logical decision. There were just over a thousand Teknosians at the time of Wang's visit. Joining brought them benefit. Not joining meant the continued lack of progress. A war would have further reduced their numbers and brought about no real benefit. So they joined the system of moons orbiting Mongo and built things for the Empire.

There were now 995 Teknosians, due to scientific curiosity and accidents.

Teknos had been introduced to a number of strange concepts since their joining. One, Yan had taught them about warfare. Defense, offense, and strategy. All odd concepts for a species that had never known conflict, but learned nonetheless.

Ted had been befriended by some of the odd Generals in his post as the Speaker For Teknos. The data he'd gathered had been disseminated and studied.

THX-1137 was one of Ted's "brothers" - which is to say that 1137 was created about the same time, and had been a Humaniform capable of transforming. His Core Unit couldn't be changed, but the outer housing could easily be so. THX-1137 had gone to the automated factories to discover why the robots being produced seemed to be of significantly different technological standards than was expected.

The answers were sent out via relay to all of Teknos, who stopped what they were doing to gawk at the data.

The clunky steam-driven factories had been replaced by quietly humming, gleaming chrome, automated factories that purred away where they had clanked before. 1137 requested logs from the main processors to discover that the Emperor had somehow done this. Mechanism unknown but it had occurred during a slideshow presentation of the Teknosian factories and the Emperor's stated designs for new robots and vehicles.

The exploration of the factories had produced many anomalous results, and after over a week, 1137 was prepared to make his final report on the matter.

He still had no idea how this had happened or why, but 1137 did have a handle on the 'what' end of things.

The new factories could still not produce a Teknosian. None of the machines were self-aware or independent when they left. They were considerably more advanced than Teknosian science could have previously produced but no immediate solution to the Teknosian problem seemed available.

New body stylings, on the other hand, were possible. Their Core Units could be fit into something that worked more like the bodies they'd had several downgrades ago - when they hadn't been able to replace their old bodies due to a lack of resources on their homeworld and key processes seemingly vanished.

1137 requested a trial run. He could extract the Core Unit from another Teknosian, then reinstall it into the new shape. Queries on potential shapes were requested.

847, a particularly old unit, provided data. They had accessed and recorded many of the Emperor's concepts about robots and researched them through the media of his former homeworld. A wealth of designs had been unearthed at that time. There was also this 'seraglio' thing to consider. Was this not a further opportunity to fulfill their duties to the Empire and gather more data besides?

Finally, 1241 began transit to the factory via Mongolian transport. 1241 was in need of major system overhaul anyway and was the logical choice for such a thing.

1137 extracted the softball-sized Core Unit without difficulty, and watched emotionlessly as the factory broke up the stained chrome of the previous housing. At the end of the factory, a new unit - shaped quite differently - was decanted a mere 35 minutes 14.0371 seconds after the initial design was chosen.

Everything checked out. 1241 was now a fully functional android patterned after:

Ai No Senshi, Cutey Honey desu!

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Senshi Of Another Type

by Kender

For many of the races of Mongo, it had been a simple choice as to whom they would choose to be their candidate for the sergalio. They simply went by a sense of their own aesthetics, what they expected the Emperor to like and the fact that the young lady in question had to be a princess. It was a matter of pride and honor for them, as well as partially being politics.

But to those from Teknos, it was a matter of determining particulars and finding the logical answers to them. Every single possible need and situation was considered and there was nothing that they considered too minute. This was something that they were not going to allow to fall into error.

It was the end product of some very deep considerations.

Query: Would this form be a viable candidate for the sergalio?

Answer: As far as could be determined.

Query: Would the candidate be attractive to Emperor?

Answer: According to the research of his home world's media and the appearances of the other candidates, there was over a 99.832% chance.

Query: With the Emperor's wish that the sergalio also work security, would the candidate be able to accomplish that standard?

Answer: With the designs that had been put forth, this unit would be a useful member in that regard.

Which was why there was now a busty redhead standing on the floor.

"Query: Are you functioning within parameters?" asked 1137.

The redhead blinked and twisted around to see her new body. "I feel fine."

"Query: Then the operation was a success?"

"It seems to be that way."

"Query: Are you ready for your new function?"

"I... think so," replied 1241 (a.k.a. 'Honey') while:

Ukyo was getting ready to go after her Ran-chan.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Ukyo's Space Oddity

by Kestral

Ukyo paid the nice anthropomorphic coyote for the "slightly used" spaceship and looked it over appreciatively.

This was a rocketship. Fins, sleek lines, burnished chrome everywhere.

Since it was a new purchase there was one thing that had to be done first off, and that was to look over the interior.

The controls were absurdly simple. A joystick, a large Red button, a smaller green button, and a dial.

Fiddling with the dial brought up some interesting settings. [End Of The Universe], [Fred], [Fearless Freep's], [Gargimel's Tower], [George's Jungle Hut], [Heck], [Hell], [Hossenfeffer's Lab], and so on. There were some that were tempting [Eden] and some she hurried the dial past [R'yeleh] for reasons she wasn't quite sure of, and others that seemed to call to her of a simpler time [Mayberry RFD], and even a few that seemed well-worn [Acme Looniversity] when she stopped the dial on a particular setting.

This would work!

There before her was the obvious choice. Between [Way Out There] and [Whataburger] was [Wayward Fiance]!

So, even as Shampoo and Akane found themselves on a space garbage truck, listening to a couple of identical twins explain that the pretty one was a clone...

Even as Kodachi and a panda attempted to get out of straitjackets (on hearing Kodachi's laugh they'd decided not to take any chances) on the same ship...

Even as the Teknosian seraglio candidate made her way to the Yamato and her Emperor...

Even as Koichi the would-be conqueror came up with something better than the ill-fated smurfs to deal with the three way battle still going on in this thread on the surface of Glacia...

Even as General Mille was putting the final touches on some additional seraglio candidates, and getting together with Nodoka for some quality assurance testing...

Even as Ryouga screamed "Ranma, this is all your fault! I'll have my vengeance on you yet!" and the various pursuing alien fleets decided that perhaps this "Ranma" was an enemy of their enemy and someone to ally themselves with...

And even as Ukyo finished closing up the Ucchan's to go find/rescue Ranma...

And even as Fluffy the dorok wondered if he would ever find a new owner...

Uniting for the first time in their hunt for Ryouga, various races begin to form an alliance that will eventually lead to galactic peace and a Confederation Of Planets.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Creating Peace

by Kender

For many years, they had been races at odds with each other. Due to their own needs, wants and cultures, they had found that they had plans that would inevitably lead to conflict somewhere. Wars, great and small had been fought between them, and treaties made, but there had never really been any common ground between them before.

Until Ryouga had decided to go out on his ship that was. What resulted from that one act had done something that was truly a first in their shared history.

They were all together in one place and not in the process of shooting one another.

"I demand that something be done about this... this... creature!" snarled a two meter tall being who was covered in what looked like spikes as he slammed a fist onto the table.

Next to him, what looked to be a woman covered in feathers nodded. "We understand that Ritar, and we agree with you. But we have not managed to do anything as of yet."

"Exactly my point Twee'phha!"

"Which is why we are here. To discuss the matter, and figure out how we can find and stop this scourge of the stars."

Leaning back in his own seat, a man with red skin and blond hair shook his head. "Trust a Lillia to be so eloquent with words."

"And trust a Devar to be so sneaky with his... 'compliments', Zandan."

"Point to you, my dear Ambassador."

"This is getting us nowhere!" barked Ritar, "We have, what, thirty different diplomats from as many worlds? And not one of them can come up with a workable plan!"

"Plan needed, work together," interjected a small creature who had a great similarity to a giant rodent.

"Oh and now Ch'chir of the Khidic wishes to make silly comments!"

"Not silly. Work in burrows."

"You may enjoy living underground, but do not presume to drag the rest of us down there."

"Not live. Many workers, different jobs."

"What are you babbling about?" asked Zandan.

"Doing all wrong. No race can catch, yes?"

"We knew that already. It is why we are here after all."

"Then don't all do."

"You have lost me..."

"Each worker do job only that one can."

"So?"

"Each race do what they do best."

"Tell us more," Twee'phha sid, leaning foward interestedly.

"Khidic very good at listening when not seen. And Lillia very good at going fast."

"It is true that our ships are fast."

"Can carry messages then."

"To whom would we do that."

"Ritar's people very strong. They fight, make boom, Ryouga go away."

"We would indeed," agreed Ritar smugly.

"Other races do good job. Devar can investigate, and so on."

"By the weapons of my forefathers, I think that the little vermin has a real idea..."

"Need details for rules though."

"You will have them," Zandan told the small Ambassador.

And thus began the work to create the task force to find and stop one Ryouga Hibiki. With this plan, the individual races would work together for a common goal. With that one success, would come others, until the spirit of understanding would lead to a Confederation of Planets.

So, quite unintentionally, the Lost Boy had helped to create future galactic peace by being one of the worst menaces that they had ever seen.

He didn't know of this however, and continued to look for a way to get away from his pursuers and finally get to his destination while:

things were happening on Glacia.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: That's just Smurfy.

by Greyman

"Dddon't wor-r-r-ry my lit-t-t-ttle smur-r-r-rfs," chattered the tiny blue humanoid in red hat and pants. "I'l-l-l-l hav-v-ve us t-t-t-oast-t-ty war-r-rm in n-n-n-no t-t-time."

"Quite with the jabbering and make with the bipity bobbity boo!" chastised the anchient blue humanoid in gold pants and hat. "We're freezing our tails off here ya young whippersnapper."

"Hur-r-ry P-p-pap-p-p-ppa sm-mur-rf!" cried the female in the short daisy-print skirt. "We'r-r-r-re not-t-t-t dr-r-r-ressed for-r-r- th-h-h-hiss kind of-f-f-ff weat-ther-r-r!"

"Smur-r-r-rfet-t-t-tte, Smur-r-r-rfet-t-tte," chittered the young male in glasses, "I'm-m-m sur-r-r-re Pap-p-p-p-ppaa Smur-r-rf-f kn-now-w-ws what-t-t-t he's-s doing-g-g. Her-r-re Pap-p-ppa Smur-r-rf-f, let-t-t me giv-v-ve you a hand-d-d!"

"Nooooooo!" screamed the rest of the freezing blue humanoids.

"SNICKERSNAAAP!" clicked the inner jaws of the chitinous alien.

"Oh no! Brainy's been eaten by a horrible icky monster!" cried the female.

"YAE!" cheered the rest as they started to run as fast as their big frozen feet could carry them.

"Well my little Smurfs, it looks like we won't freeze to death after all," the elder in red commented optimistically.

"Oh, that's smurfy," the female muttered distractedly.

"That's because we're all going to be eaten!" the eldest commented sarcastically.

"I hate being eaten!" summarised one of the others.

"Don't eat me, Mr. Monster!" pleased a vane one. "I'm too smurfy to die. Take Greedy, he's got calories to spare!"

"This is it, then?" one of them remarked. "So we're all going to die? Smurfette, I can't die without telling you that I don't ha..."

"Yae! We're saved!" cried the little blue humanoids as they collapsed with relief.

"... I hate it when that happens," concluded the confessor grumpily as he came to a stop and turned to look at their saviour.

"We're saved by... by... some kind of big cat doggy thing," the elder in red observed. "What kind of creature is that?"

"I don't know," the elder in gold commented. "But, by Jimminy, its sure making fast work of that bug eyed monster! Ahem, now that we're all warmed up by that fright, I suggest we all hightail it outta here before that there critter decides to have us for dessert!"

"Don't worry, Grandpappy," a younger female cried sassily, "I'm sure that it's a smurfy doggy."

"It is k-k-kind of smurfy," the older female observed as the beast sniffed curiously in her direction. "Nic-c-ce dog-g-gy!"

The rest of the humanoids watched in horrified awe as the two females began to placate the beast. They patted its nose, stroked its whiskers and let it bathe them with its enormous tongue.

"He likes us," the younger female cried, as slobber iced up her red hair. "He really likes us."

"I know, let's call him Fluffy!" the older female cried happily as she snuggled into the soft, warm, white fur.

Then a metal can monster glided around the corner. The humanoids cried in fright until they noticed that it was had a large chunk ripped off of it and there were smurfs inside.

"Pappa Smurf! Papa Smurf!" cried the pilot as he waved a spanner for attention. "Look at what we did!"

"I know, let's all sing the Smurf Song!" the blonde cried ditzily. And on that note we go...

... back aboard the Yamato where an Away Team is being preparing to be dropped onto the icy moon.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Now That is an Away Team!

by Kestral

Having observed the destruction on Glacia, and having determined that there were indeed some surviving native Glacians (a small military outpost that was running low on ammo and food), the exhausted looking Emperor was pulled briefly away from getting to know new seraglio members ("How many moons has Mongo got anyway?!") and was asked what he wanted to do.

Not being a tactical genius, but knowing what he wanted to see, Ranma gave an order.

A number of troops cheered because they'd also wanted to see this.

The giant robots landed. Approaching Daleks were turned into tin foil scrap by Deathscythe Gundam. They were trampled underfoot by Macross Destroids. They blowed up real good when Aura Battler Dunbine turned its attention to them.

The xenomorphs discovered that they didn't fare all that well either. They were swatted like bugs when discovered, and then suppressing fire was laid around the robots indiscriminately because, well, nobody wanted to face the Mechanics Squads if they had to repair all that acid damage.

Ranma didn't know that he was supposed to go down with the Away Team and an under defended group of investigators, that it was a tradition from the days of Star Trek and earlier works. So, instead he left the decision to General Grimm, just suggesting he'd like to see how the giant robots worked.

General Grimm made his decision as a military person confronted with this situation. Establish a landing zone through the use of missiles clearing a section of ice/ground. Kill anything that comes within sight unless it is clearly not hostile. Proceed to Ice Base Ixia and form a defensive perimeter.

General Grimm had interpreted "Away" to mean "Blast hostiles away" team.

Ranma munched popcorn and watched the giant robots of his youth shooting pepper grinders and tried to catch his breath.

Ami Mizuno read about Mongo while heading towards the new Emperor's room.

Mongo had known several Emperors.

Ming The Merciless had been the quintessential Evil Overlord. Though frankly it depended on your company. Next to Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini, Hussein, or a number of terrestrial emperors - he was actually a pretty nice guy. Next to Sauron or Palpatine, Ming would have been fairly "white bread". Your typical Yakuza oyabun or Mafia gang boss or Guatamalan Drug Lord would have considered Ming to be petty and not nearly ruthless enough.

In short, when it came to nasty, Ming had been outdated and out-evilled by humans.

Ming had had his good points too. It had been the first peace and the first cooperation between the moons of Mongo under his empire. There had actually been less killing under his rule than there had been previously.

Ming had been replaced by Wang. Wang was almost a polar opposite of Ming - a charismatic leader who wanted to bring the races of Mongo into a new era of peace and prosperity. He'd had the best of intentions until he'd been assassinated by the eaglemen. Wang had used persuasion, logic, and had been an Usagi sort of personality combined with an Ami sort of intellect. Wang had been interested in bringing the standard of living up for all races of Mongo, but many of his dreams had fallen with his death.

Wang had been replaced by Yan. A vaguely oriental empire had been replaced by a charismatic technocrat which had been replaced by a military dictatorship. Yan was a warmonger, violent, apparently impotent according to notes from his seraglio, and had had a shorter rule than either Wang or Ming.

The Nameless Emperor was apparently someone who embarrassed the heck out of practically everyone, and everyone in Mongo society would apparently rather forget the incident had ever occurred. That Emperor's name had been stricken from the records, his rule had been shorter than Yan's, and nobody was interested in investigating who had blown him up because there were too many suspects and too much relief that he was finally gone.

Then came Ranma Saotome of Planet Earth.

Ranma was, according to the records she was reading, extremely skilled. A warrior who fought many of the arena beasts for sport with his bare hands.

Ranma was, according to accounts given by others, in possession of extraordinary stamina and a...

Ami fanned herself and put those accounts aside. She'd, uhm, study them in greater detail later. Yes. That was right.

According to the next set of reports, her Ranma, err, her Emperor - was extremely popular. The troops liked him. The common folk liked him. Certain groups pointed to all the satiated princesses and declared Ranma to be a man beyond Ming! The Generals generally liked him.

Ami frowned. Practically everyone liked Ranma except for two Generals. General D'arc and General Bludi both used terms to indicate that they thought that Emperor Ranma was a fop and an idiot without actually stating that this was their thinking.

Otherwise almost everyone felt that Ranma Saotome was a good Emperor. Not a great one but good enough and things were better under him than they were under the previous two.

Wang had been better at a lot of things, but apparently had lacked a certain survival instinct.

Ami checked the time and nodded. She had just enough time to finish getting ready, then she'd be introduced to the Emperor.

Meanwhile, Koichi had decided that to deal with the changing situation, he'd have to retro digitize something that could deal with Daleks and Terminators and Smurfs. And where had these giant robots come from?

Selecting another tape and crossing his fingers, Koichi retro digitized:

the three Klingon warships from the first Star Trek movie.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: 'Tis A Good Day To Retro Digitize

by Kender

Out above the clouds of Glacia, the starfields blurred a bit as the space there twisted. It stretched and pulled as what seemed to be lightning arced through it in a dazzling display of light. This grew until it reached a final point and there was a flash of light.

When that light had faded, there were now three Klingon ships, looking just as they had on the screen. Koichi was well pleased, since this meant that there would be fighters who were not the out of control machines and beasts that he had brought out before. surely they would listen to the person who had brought them to this universe, saving them from being taken by V'ger!

Unfortunately, he had not really been paying attention to the little particulars about those he had retro digitized.

"What is this human bleating about?" asked the captain of the lead ship as he watched Koichi's communique.

His first officer snorted. "Who knows? Something about telling us what to do, and... bringing us here..."

"What? That... child says that he brought us here?"

"So he says, but it's probably nothing but some delusion."

"True. Though the last thing that I remember is that we were going to be overtaken by that... cloud, Even if it is a new Federation weapon, I doubt that even they would put a child in charge of it."

"Not even the humans would be that foolish."

"Exactly. Now get that idiot off of my screen and find something for us to do that is actually worthwhile."

"I think that I have something sir," commented the sensor officer as Koichi's protesting image was replaced by a starfield.

"What is it?"

"There seems to be a group of ships not far from our current position."

"Yes?"

"By what we can detect, they seem to be a military convoy of some type, but we can not tell where they came from."

"Then we should go find out," said the captain and there was a series of grins amongst those on the bridge. "Tell the other two ships to join us. This promises to be an interesting day yet."

So, the trio of ships moved from where they had been retro digitized and headed to where Ranma's ships were while:

Ranma's fleet had detected the Klingons.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: There's Klingons off the starboard bow...

by Kestral

"Observation: Extradimensional aperture detected," stated Ted. "Analysis: Three warships detected as well as transmission from planetside. Statement: further analysis will require time."

"Let's see what you got," said Ranma, staggering in and taking a comm chair. Man, that one Princess was as bad as Leona. It was always the bookish types, wasn't it?

"Bringing up," grunted a Volcanian Lieutenant.

Ranma's eyes went wide as he recognized the ships. "KLINGONS?!"

"Klingons, my lord?" General Grimm asked, wondering what kind of starship was a Klingon. They didn't even have exhaust ports!

"From 'Star Trek' - a warrior race that uses these curved swords in fights," Ranma explained. Hmmm. He could maybe get some good sparring in. If they were a warrior race they had to have martial arts, right?

"Ah," said the General, noting the Emperor's eagerness. Well, he felt a bit eager himself. It would be a great release of tension to go beat on a menace that wasn't constantly changing.

"Sir, they're approaching," said the lion man at the helm. "They're

hailing us."

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Across the Universe

by Kender

Ranma blinked. "Ya mean that they want to talk to us?"

"Yes Sir," answered the comm officer.

"Uh... okay. I guess we should answer them."

"I'll put them on the main screen."

Up on said screen came the image of a Klingon decked out in full warrior regalia. *"I am Captain Korith of the Imperial Klingon Ship Borath. To whom do I have the pleasure of facing this day?"*

"Um... I'm Ranma Saotome... Emperor Of Mongo, and captain of the Yamato."

*"Emperor? What of your precious Federation, boy-child?"*

Only allowing himself to grit his teeth, the pigtailed boy tried to keep his calm. "There ain't a 'Federation' around here."

*"You mean to tell me that you are some kind of ruler?"*

"Uh... sorta."

*"Not again. How could a culture allow a boy to rule them?"*

"I was kind of next in line."

*"I see. So, child-Emperor, are you going to give me a good fight?"*

"A fight? Cool!"

*"What are you talking about?"*

"Ya got those curved swords, right?"

*"Are you talking about our bat`leths?"*

"That's them! Ya mind bringing them for the fight?"

*"What are you talking about?"*

The pigtailed boy shrugged. "It ain't any fun ta get inta a fight if there ain't any challenge."

*"This human..," muttered Korith, "His life, but not as we know it."*

"Did ya say something?"

*"Nothing of importance. But do I understand you right? Do you actually wish to fight a Klingon warrior face-to-face?"*

"Ain't any other way to really get a good match in."

Korith studied the boy from the screen for a moment before apparently deciding:

that he liked the way that this human thought!

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: The Klingon Challenge

by Ijuin-kun

Korith pondered this. This human boy-emperor wished to fight a Klingon warrior in single combat? Ordinarily, Korith would have scoffed at the idea of a human being a match for a Klingon, but this particular human had an air of confidence that Korith admired.

So be it, then. If the boy-emperor actually won, then it would be because he had the heart of a true warrior, something that Korith could respect. If he was defeated, then it would show these foolish humans the superiority of the Klingon ways.

Furthermore, this was something that any true Klingon warrior would look forward to. This was the way of the warrior-not to fly about in starships firing phasers and disruptors at each other, but face to face in single combat, a match of skill to see who was truly the better fighter. That the human boy-emperor understood this well enough to personally challenge him in such a way was admirable. Besides, no true Klingon warrior would refuse a challenge.

"Very well," Korith said. "I accept your challenge to single combat. We shall fight using hand weapons and bare handed attacks only. Your opponent shall be . . ."

One of my officers

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: The Klingon Challenge - Ranma's Dilemma

by Bryan

"Very well," Korith said. "I accept your challenge to single combat. We shall fight using hand weapons and bare handed attacks only. Your opponent shall be Kev'lar, the finest warrior under my command second only to me...I should know..."

As if on cue, Kev'lar stepped into view and stood next to Korith for Ranma and the others to see on the viewscreen...

"She's my daughter..." (beautiful, experienced, and *deadly* - coughChun-Licoughpossibleseragliomembercough)

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: It's life, Jim, but not as we know it.

by Kestral

The Klingons were a little put off.

A little at least.

The Federation was composed of many races, but the technology and "feel" of the Federation was completely different from what they were now seeing.

A lot of what they were now seeing, in fact, looked kind of homelike.

K'vlar was young and tough and lithe and deadly. If you were in the military and female, you had to be just to survive. She wasn't impressed so far.

The Klingons did indeed practice a form of martial arts, as the race that practiced it - it was not a graceful form. More along the line of pankration combined with dirty streetfighting. K'vlar was an expert, the best HTH fighter on the three ships.

"The Emperor is just warming up," said a big slab of rock as he beckoned the Klingons forward.

The contingent looked down onto the floor of the arena and gaped briefly.

"I could do that," said K'vlar without a trace of confidence in her voice.

"Can I get one of those?" asked Subcommander Akrath, pointing at what the human Emperor was warming up with.

'One of those' was something about the size of a terrestrial tiger, with eight limbs, claws and teeth nearly everywhere, thick armor plating on its body, and what looked like poisonous spines on the tail.

To a Klingon aesthetic system, the beastie was quite attractive.

Dodging wildly and hitting the beast with kicks and punches that quite clearly staggered the creature despite the plating, was a human boy in his mid-teens. That is - when he wasn't a blur racing around the beastie.

"That's the Emperor," said Koith with a doomed certainty.

"Yes. Ah, he's finishing up, does your champion require a warmup?" General Grimm asked the warriors.

"No, I stretched out on the way," said K'vlar, who didn't really fancy going up against that sort of beast bare-handed.

Ranma hit the beast one final time, then watched it run off into its cage to lick its wounds. "Hey," he called up to the gallery, "that one was pretty good. He almost got me a couple of times. Give him something extra for his troubles, will ya?"

General Grimm nodded. Ming had had a soft place in his heart for the more fearsome arena monsters as well.

"Are you ready then?" General Grimm asked K'vlar.

K'vlar fights Ranma. Ranma wins

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: Star Fightin'

by Kender

The Klingon people were a warrior race through and through. They lived and breathed the idea and concepts of battle. While the skills of war could be an art to some, they were a way of life to the Klingons. Honor came from facing your challenges and dealing with them head on. There would be no greater glory than to die in the face of battle.

With that came a style of fighting that became a martial art of its own. Over time it grew to become, while never terribly fancy, more than adequate to get the job done. Some even studied so long and hard that they became revered masters of their style.

K'vlar was not a master (or mistress), but she had become quite skilled in her style of fighting. That, combined with a Klingon's natural physical strength and prowess allowed her to be more than a match for any normal human.

However, Ranma Saotome was not a normal human.

The pigtailed boy grinned as he watched her walk into the area. "Ya ready for this?"

"I am always ready, human," she told him, twirling her bat`leth.

"Good. Then let's get started."

"BEGIN!" shouted General Grimm.

Not wasting any time, K'vlar charged swinging her weapon at his head. Ranma shifted his weight and bent so that it barely missed his face. Taking the initiative, she tried moving while she swung, attempting to restrict his movements to make him easy to hit. But he bobbed and weaved around the curved blade so that it seemed he was doing so effortlessly.

"Fight me!" she demanded.

He shrugged. "'Kay."

She went to take another strike,and was surprised as his fist jabbed into the space just below her breasts. Her armor took much of the blow, but it was still sufficient to stagger her for a moment. Then came pain as he grabbed and twisted her arms, causing her to release her bat`leth. Which was followed by Ranma jumping back as a pain blossomed across his chest.

A long slice had been taken out of his shirt and a thin line of blood had appeared on his chest. Across from him, K'vlar held her D`k tahg in her hand, the middle blade of the three pronged dagger shining with a drop of red.

She grinned as she faced him down. Her blood was singing with the call of battle. This was how a battle should be. Even through the pain that she felt, she could help but feel... exhilarated.

Going into a low stance, she rushed toward him, to jab her dagger into where he was. He dodged that blow, and grabbed her arms to send her into a throw. With a thud, she crashed into the ground, but was back up with in moments.

This time Ranma moved forward, and struck towards her midsection. But as she tried to block it, it turned out to be a feint, and he slammed his leg into the backs of her knees. That would have only made her stumble if he had not slammed his palms into her shoulders. With those strikes, she was sent sprawling back to the floor.

Yet, she drew herself up, and tossed her dagger at him. When he went to duck, she was there and sent a punch into his chest. With a grunt, he took it, and stood his ground with a smirk. Grabbing the arm, he held her in position as he twisted around and used it as a pivot for a kick to the back.

Breath exploded from her lungs, but he didn't let her go that easily. Releasing her arm, he sent a blow to her temple that dropped her to the floor, this time unconscious.

He stood there a moment, while:

the Smurfs were fighting back with the help of Fluffy!

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: When did this happen?

by Galen, the Last of the First

"BWA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAH. DIE YOU MAGGOTS DIEEEEEEEEEE!"

Smurfs are not anime characters and as such are not meant to be able to sweat drop. However the little blue guys were learning a great many new things lately and sweat dropping was something they were getting quite good at.

The cause of this was Papa Smurf who was currently in charge of the guns of the Smurflek. It seemed that the stress of the situation had finally gotten to the oldest Smurf because he was currently engaged in blasting away at a Xenomorph, that Fluffy had winged, while laughing in a rather demented manner.

"Isn't it nice that Papa Smurf is starting to cheer up again?" commented Smurfette brightly.

There was even more Sweat dropping.

See how a certain 'Genius' is handling this new development.

Emperor Ranma of Mongo: The Smurfenator!

by dogbertcarroll

The Smuflek shook around them as Papa Smurf unloaded another blast at an approaching xenomorph. Papa Smurf's evil laughter echoed through the vessel sounding a lot more like Gargamel's then anyone was comfortable hearing. "Take that you Smurfing smurfers!"

Handy shudder to hear it, knowing that he had to do something before Papa Smurf lost all his smurfiness.

Smurf's just weren't made for war. It had a strange effect on them. For instance, Papa Smurf's insistence that Grouchy and Greedy wear red shirts just made no sense. He was definitely smurfing it, and not in a good way. Something had to be done and soon.

So Handy had decided that if Smurfs couldn't battle... then they must create something to battle in their place, even if he had to use magic to help create it.

That's why The smurflings and Grandpappy Smurf were with him gathered around a blob of liquid metal singing loudly.

A silver xenomorph had attacked them, but for some reason their singing had driven it off so fast it had left part of its own hand in the Smuflek. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough.

Consulting with Grandpappy, while the smurflings pinned it in place by standing around it and singing, they came up with a workable plan.

Grandpappy was reading aloud from 'The Big Book of Smurf', his voice taking on an eerie cadence as he harmonized with the smurflings. The words seemed to fade from the mind just as soon as they were heard.

He motioned occasionally for Handy to toss something into the squirming pool of liquid metal at certain times.

*PLOP*

A rectangle from the head of one of the human shaped machine.

*PLOP*

A handful of smurfberries.

*PLOP*

A pinch of magic dust.

*PLOP*

One of Jokey's surprises.

*Blink*

"One of Jokey's surprises? That wasn't suppose to go in there."

The laughter behind him cued him into exactly who was responsible. "JOKEY!"

The hissing sound from Jokey's surprise began to get louder, just as Grandpappy Smurf was winding down to the final incantation.

"Klatu Verata..." *BOOM* "...Nickel."

Everyone was blown back by the blast as it fused with the magic, raising a fog of burnt gunpowder at the epicenter.

Grandpappy Smurf put it very succinctly when he simply said in a very worried voice "Oh, Smurf."

The smurflings even quieted down as a shape began to form in the smoke.

"Congratulations Jokey. You may have just smurfed us all!"

"Ahhh, Come on Handy. I was just having a little fun."

Visions of Jokey wearing a red shirt began to run through Handy's brain as he saw the smoke swirled away.

Standing where the pool of metal had been was a silver smurf with the most evil grin he had ever seen. "Come smurf some!"