A/N: Hello. Long time, no update. This chapter took forever for various reasons... Sorry 'bout that folks. Then I had to do some extensive editing of the entire story notes, which I might still have to keep doing. HOPEFULLY chapter 5 doesn't take as long, but anything could 3 Enjoy, homies.
Chapter IV: Spark The Soul
We'll take a long walk, down the alleys of these houses
And we'll talk, see what conversation rouses when we're alone,
When we're alone, it could be home
Right. So, I'll try to keep it simple, but I'm not gonna lie to ya – it gets a little sticky at some points. Know what I mean? ...Xirena, what you and I are, we're Nobodies... And a Nobody is a being without a heart. Just a body and a mind. Remember those Heartless things I mentioned? When one of them steals a person's heart, they split into a Heartless and a Nobody. Heartless hold the hearts they steal within them... so, really our names are kind of backwards. Anyways, normal folk just turn into your run-of-the-mill dusk or something, but people with exceptionally strong hearts become Nobodies like us – ones that look and function like humans. Just without hearts, without emotions. And strong Nobodies like us have been rounded up by Xemnas to form our Organization... we have a goal, or rather Xemnas does really, but we can't exactly work on it directly right now. We need someone who can free the captive hearts within the Heartless, and that requires a special weapon. It's called a key-something-or-other, I don't know, it's not important. Anyway what it boils down to is by freeing the hearts within the Heartless, they'll form together and create something called Kingdom Hearts. And then...
And then?
Well. We only have his word to go by, but according to Xemnas by forming Kingdom Hearts, we will have hearts of our own once more.
"Are you listening, child?" A nasally voice snapped.
Xirena yelped, being smacked in the back of the head while she was verbally scolded. In all fairness, she wasn't listening, she was thinking about the night she had the day before.
"Sorry Mr. Vexen!" She quickly apologized, raising a hand to the back of her head and massaging the spot where he struck her. The wild-eyed, blonde scientist looked down on her with disdain, and Xirena shrunk into herself while averting her eyes in shame.
"Don't apologize, just pay attention." He instructed coldly.
A soft whimper escaped from Xirena as she straightened herself out. The tall man turned his back to her once more, intent on finishing what he started. You see, Vexen was tasked with teaching her how to use magic for combative purposes – given the nature of their "job" in the Organization, having skills in battle was a strict requirement – for their work, but also their own survival. In the past, those he taught had picked it up easily, but Xirena wasn't exactly a quick study. Although if she just put an iota of effort into focusing on the task at hand, she could have made more progress than she had, but her mind kept wandering to other things. Things that were more fun to think about. Like Axel. And ice cream.
She could still recall the sweet taste of the ice cream as it melted on her tongue, quickly adding a salty flavor too. But the ice cream was hardly the most important thing... What he had told her were pretty heavy. She was confused over the "no heart" thing... if they couldn't feel emotions, why did she... feel? She may not have known any better but she sure felt full of all sorts of emotions the whole time she'd been at the castle. Just thinking about it made her head ache with confusion – a totally legit emotion, right? How could it not be real? She had questions that she wanted to ask Axel, but they didn't have the time and now today she wasn't sure how long she'd be at work trying to learn magic. Xirena is always excited and willing to learn new things – even if the attempt is unsuccessful it was always fun – but her thoughts wandering to Axel kept her distracted from the important lesson on magic.
We should head back now really.
Oh ok.
...Hey, if you're not busy why don't you meet me here tomorrow after work again? We can chat more. If not, that's cool too. Up to you.
A smile swiftly crept across Xirena's face when she remembered that. She felt a strange amount of excitement over getting to just hang out and talk with Axel – she did that with Rex plenty, yet somehow it was different with Axel.
"And THIS is how you cast a basic fire spell!"
Vexen's loud voice grabbed Xirena again, after she zoned out... again. She saw a small flame erupt after Vexen swung his arm out in front of him onto a target dummy they had set up for the exercise. Once the flames faded away, the charred but still intact dummy was exposed. It was burned beyond recognition, but it didn't completely disappear... This all brought Xirena back to the moment where Axel had done the same thing in Agrabah, or at least... something similar. Somehow there seemed to be a difference in how Axel and Vexen handled fire. Vexen looked back to Xirena, who appeared just attentive enough to appease him. He was also just exhausted at this point by trying to teach her, someone he thought was a hopeless dimwit but still had to tutor. While everyone recognized Vexen's academic strengths, Vexen wouldn't allow anyone else to teach even if they wanted to. If someone was to be teaching, they should be learning from the best to receive the optimal learning experience. He simply would not stand for anyone else but him to take the position, he was too proud of his supposed superior intellect.
"Oh ok, cool!" Xirena exclaimed after a delay.
She raised up her hands and began to clap at the marvelous display, a look of wonder on her face. Vexen's eyes narrowed – he did not find this action endearing at all, in fact he found it completely intolerable. With remarkable speed, he thrust one hand out and grabbed both of hers while they were close together, pinning them shut in his tight grip and effectively silencing her clapping. Xirena retained the look of awe she had on her face the whole time she clapped – Vexen's boiling irritation with her was lost on the purple haired girl.
"You can leave now." Vexen murmured, accentuating the final word of that sentence.
Xirena nodded and Vexen released her small hands. Once free, Xirena ran out of his lab with intense enthusiasm. She smiled broadly as she moved quickly through the castle. The steps she took were thoughtlessly careless, and the swing of her arms was broad and probably dangerous to anyone who would get in her way. But she wasn't concerned with that. Her feet carried her to the Gray Area where she excitedly looked around, but after a moment of keen observation, she realized that her target wasn't there. However, this did not put an end to her personal journey. Before she could move on, she spotted Rex waving to grab her attention from one of the couches, where he sat with legs crossed daintily.
"HON. Get over here! I haven't seen you since, like, yesterday morni-"
Rex's words were cut short by Xirena turning on her heel and running out without having taken Rex into consideration at all. Rex's jaw fell open – who was SHE to ignore him? With no reason even! He huffed loudly and crossed his arms tightly. Once he was over the initial shock of this "rejection" he started working his mind to try and figure out just what on earth she could even be doing instead of hanging out with him. Nothing came to mind.
Xirena's breath was heavy as she jogged up the stairs leading to the top of the tower in Twilight Town. Careful not to recklessly run now, she found a safe enough pace that would deliver herself to the top as soon as possible. Reaching the peak, she carefully rounded the corner to where she sat with Axel just the night before. The few seconds that it took for her to completely round the sharp corner and see the one-time hang out spot suddenly felt like eternity. Through the seemingly slowed time, Xirena's excited smile started to sink into utter disappointment.
Axel wasn't there.
Time resumed it's normal pace once the absence of the red head fully sunk in. Almost in time with her expression, Xirena's entire body sank into itself, assuming a posture of defeat.
"Oh... ok..." She murmured, voice full of sadness.
Xirena took in the view of the setting sun before preparing to depart, though the beautiful setting sun did nothing to lift her heavy heart. She took a step back, pivoting slowly with her head trailing behind the rest of her body as she craved to see every last bit of the golden sky of Twilight Town. When she could contort herself no further, Xirena whipped her head forward, only to be greeted by a strange wall of blackness. That certainly wasn't there before, and the sudden change of scenery left Xirena stunned and frozen.
"Up here." A familiar voice teased.
Xirena slowly raised her head – her red eyes meeting bright green ones above her. Standing just an inch away from her with an amused grin on his face was none other than Axel. Xirena stared up at him, mouth having fallen open in pure wonderment.
"...Oh hi!" She greeted brightly, after a pause of just staring. She tilted her head to the side and continued, "When did you get here?"
"I saw you heading up here so I decided to hang back a little and sneak up on ya." He explained, his voice taking on a sarcastic tone when he spoke again, "Didn't scare ya much though, did I?"
"No, not really." Xirena answered honestly with a steady shake of her head.
Axel scoffed lightly, darkly amused by her truthful words. He stepped around her, moving casually towards where he had sat just the night prior, taking his seat once again. Ghosting behind him, Xirena followed with light steps, plopping delicately down next to Axel on the ledge.
Feeling her presence next to him, Axel started chewing on the inside of his cheek, yet he chose to keep his eyes forward to the horizon. After a brief moment, his jaw relaxed. That cheek chewing was a bit of a bad habit.
"Y'know..." Axel spoke, grabbing Xirena's attention, "To be honest, I wasn't sure if you'd show up today."
Xirena had turned her head to face Axel, furrowing her brow so hard that she was in danger of breaking her nose.
"But you told me to!" Xirena countered honestly. Her brow to slowly started to relax, and Axel choked up. He wasn't quite expecting that.
"You make me sound like some sort of control freak weirdo when you put it that way." Axel replied. He was beginning to worry that he started to sound like a creep... Not the best impression to make, so he calmly searched his brain for something better to say, "It was more of a... suggestion. Yeah, suggestion sounds better."
"Oh ok." The agreeable Xirena responded, "It still sounds the same to me though!"
"Right..." Axel murmured, feeling his short-lived recovery dissipate, "But seriously, you barely know me, but you met me here again without any hesitation!"
"Yeah!" She replied enthusiastically.
"Xirena, you're missing the point." He said frankly, "How'd ya know I wouldn't turn out to be some psycho killer who lures victims up here to murder them? Or that I wasn't a creepy pervert looking to prey on some young, innocent thing that doesn't know any better?"
Axel paused to allow his statements to sink in, but judging by the unchanged dumb smile on Xirena's face, his lecturing 'sank in' just about as good as jello on a ceramic plate. He groaned audibly.
"What I'm saying is you can't go around trusting just ANYONE without question... You're a disaster waiting to happen." He explained, "A life without fear is a reckless life. Got it memorized?"
"I think so..." She half lied, "But what exactly is 'trust' ?"
This question was an unexpected addition to their chat.
"Well it's... having a strong belief in the reliability and truth of someone... or something. Having confidence in someone is to trust them." He explained shakily. A look of understanding slowly came across Xirena's face, which prompted Axel to continue, "It's kind of involved in human emotion stuff, so actually it's not really THAT important to us Nobodies."
Xirena exhaled heavily. This whole thing about them not having emotions or hearts, and Axel ending his explanation with a direct contradiction to things he said just moments earlier, left her mentally exhausted.
"I don't really understand...We don't have hearts or emotions..." She began softly, then the passion in her voice suddenly spiked, "But, I'm pretty sure I've been feeling plenty of stuff!"
Now that was an interesting declaration. The intensity of Xirena's last comment had caught Axel's full attention. Among the chorus of emotional naysayers that was the Organization, one small voice has popped up to challenge them. Axel's hand glided upwards to his face, where he started to stroke his chin with curiosity.
"Is that so..." The curious Axel murmured, "Care to explain?"
Xirena looked down at her lap as an inquisitive smile grew on Axel's face, like the moon finally appearing from behind the clouds on a gloomy night. Xirena scratched at her cheek lightly with her index finger as she thought. Once she was sure she recalled the most important or just memorable instances, she allowed her hand to fall softly back to her lap, and raised her head back up.
"Well... When I first got here I was really nervous, and then I was excited to meet Rex, and then I was scared of Vexen, and yesterday, I was really happy just hanging out up here with you!"
"Heh." He chuckled to himself, feeling his ego grow just a tiny bit for a second. This fleeting moment passed leading Axel back to the cold truth of their emotionless reality. His smile faded. He was always quick to talk himself back down on this topic, "Well, girlie, I hate to rain on your parade and all... but all that stuff you just said? Those things you felt weren't real. All fake."
Xirena's expression fell into disappointment, with a smidge of befuddlement. Her posture sank as well, caving into herself and making her look even smaller. Axel observed her crestfallen pose. This sad sight was too awkward and he suddenly felt the need to try and console the poor creature, but in her mopey world, Xirena was even less aware of herself and everything around her than usual. Thus, she didn't see nor anticipate the sudden impact she felt strike from behind. She let out a high pitched gasp as her head snapped up and over to Axel – he had clapped his hand on her shoulder as a gesture of reassurance.
"Listen, try not to think about that whole 'no heart or emotions' stuff," He began, looking into her vibrant eyes, "It makes living a whole lot easier for us... Got it memorized?"
"...Oh ok." Xirena replied, breath heavy from being startled by him.
The duo held their stare even after silence had taken over – the only sound being the high altitude wind blowing gently in their ears. While Xirena's eyes were almost eternally wide, Axel's were relaxed – narrowed, but still soft enough to convey a casual mood. After a moment, a sigh was heard from Axel, who smiled and turned away; he lazily pulled his hand back along with him.
"Heh, I just realized something... I should have gotten some ice cream before heading up here." He spoke. Xirena's eyes lit up.
"Oh, oh ice cream would have been great!" Xirena agreed excitedly, drawing a laugh out of Axel.
"Well who said I'd buy any for you?!" He exclaimed jokingly, laughing loudly at his own "joke."
Xirena, however, didn't see the humor and was rendered totally speechless and frozen, save for a quick and subtle tremble. It sure sounded like he was scolding her, and this disturbed Xirena's fragile state of being. Axel found this amusing, but tried to stop his unnecessarily raucous laughter since he could tell she was legitimately upset. Forcing himself to stop eventually lead to his laughing ceasing naturally – just needed a little push to get things straight again. Axel looked over to Xirena, seeing her watching him with a look of ghastly dread – so absurdly over the top that it almost sent him into another laughing fit. Even Axel has some good in him sometimes, and it was summoned in that moment because he couldn't let this poor girl go on thinking he really yelled at her.
"Xirena, I'm just messing with you!" He assured her.
Xirena heaved a huge sigh. She felt like she could faint from all the emotional energy she had expended in her state of dismay and despair. However, his affirmation immediately eased her soul. Axel boldly reached out and pet the girl on the head, ruffling up her hair a bit as he did so. Xirena couldn't help but giggle softly, almost inaudibly, as Axel pat her head. Something about seeing her goofy smile struck a chord inside the redhead, evident by the similar smile that had spread to his face too – a smile he didn't even notice. He slowly started to take his hand back – but instead of simply retracting it, his hand traveled from the top of her head and slid down the side with his fingers running through her hair. He wasn't close enough to have caressed her face or anything, but once his fingers were free from her purple locks, the realization of how... intimate that action was – especially considering how he hadn't known Xirena for very long. He abruptly jerked his hand back towards him, having realized the weight of his actions. Axel's hand flew to the back of his head as he twisted his body to face forward again, scratching at it as he did so. Xirena thankfully – for Axel anyway – didn't understand his sudden change in demeanor. She merely tilted her head in confusion, as she often found herself doing.
"Axel?" Xirena asked.
Axel dropped his hand heavily and exhaled deeply; he cleared his throat before choosing to speak again.
"It's nothing... I just had a really bad itch is all." He lied, with absolutely zero confidence in his voice.
"Oh ok." Xirena replied, turning and facing forward again as well.
She was satisfied with his answer – despite it being weak... well, anyone else but Xirena would surely be able to tell it wasn't the exact truth and he'd end up being interrogated until the truth got dragged out of him. In that moment Axel was quite thankful that Xirena was... well, the way she was. Axel shook his head rapidly, trying to rid his mind of the creepy thing he had just done. He even shook out his hand a bit to try and remove any lingering personal embarrassment associated with it.
Coming home to the castle for Xirena was like returning home to an angry spouse. With arms crossed and foot tapping the floor of the gray area impatiently, Rex stood near the hallway entrance, waiting for his pet project to return. His foot struck the floor so hard it threatened to crack. When she appeared following Axel, Rex began to shake his head disapprovingly.
"I swear to Zayn..." He muttered bitterly, seeing how his friend was associating with someone that WASN'T him!
Xirena noticed him and waved enthusiastically at Rex. Rex, being in his own self absorbed world, thought that she was "pretending like nothing was wrong" – as if she had any idea about his delusional thoughts to begin with. With no idea about his annoyance, Xirena happily jogged over to the silver haired Nobody, visibly pleased to see him.
"Hiya Rex!" She says, stopping in front of him.
"Two nights now? Seriously?" He snapped. He didn't bother with pleasantries.
"Huh?" She asked, still smiling.
Rex could see Axel approaching them over Xirena's shoulder, which only irritated Rex further. He quickly grabbed Xirena and pulled her close.
"WHY are you hanging out with HIM?" He aggressively whispers to the clueless girl. He releases her with a light shove to get her out of his personal space, leading to Xirena stumbling a bit. Now willing to talk in a more audible tone, he continued, "I thought I TOLD you not to."
"Oh..." Xirena breathed, "Sorry Rex. But, Axel's really nice! I like him!"
Just as the last words escaped her mouth, one of Rex's arms flew up and put a finger up to her lips – to silence her... even though she had already said all she wanted to say. Rex couldn't let what he said next go interrupted at all.
"I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that hon." He sharply says as his nostrils flare, "Being friends with a loser leads to you becoming a loser by association, and I have a reputation to keep up – I can NOT be seen with a loser. Sorry not sorry."
"Oh ok." She replied once Rex removed his hand from her face but she didn't really understand what he was going on about. It was too technical sounding for her to properly grasp.
"Seriously hon you got better things to do than follow his big, lumbering ass around."
"Yeah, standing right here y'know." Axel said from behind Xirena.
While the Swift Brawler was ranting and raving, Axel had reached the two and stood casually behind Xirena. Rex completely ignored the red head though, beckoning for Xirena to follow him. Rex began sashaying towards his room, yet Xirena was glued to her spot. With her back to him, Axel couldn't tell what was up with her – no expression to read or anything. Xirena, however, was fighting a war inside her mind. She of course liked chilling out with Rex, but she was eager to spend time with her newest acquaintance too. In her own words, Xirena could tell that Axel had different things to offer her than Rex did. However, she felt she had some sort of obligation to go with Rex that evening... perhaps it was his commanding nature. No. Yeah. It was totally his commanding nature. With all this in mind, she slowly turned in place and looked up at Axel.
"I gotta go with Rex now." She said, with a small trace of regret, or perhaps guilt,"Bye bye."
"Woah, hold on a sec!" He said to keep her in place, "Tomorrow, after work, same place?"
Xirena stared at him blankly.
"Huh?" She asked. Axel sighed.
"Wanna meet at the clock tower after work again tomorrow?" He clarified.
"Oh! Oh ok, yeah!" She responded gleefully.
An irritated shriek rang out from Rex and echoed down the hall, calling Xirena's name and telling her to hurry up. The frenzied Xirena squeaked as the shrill command pierced her ears; she clumsily turned and started jogging after Rex. Axel smiled – perhaps more devilishly than he intended – as he watched Xirena from behind, getting farther and farther away with each delicate step; her light gait made it look as if she was walking on air. The pair of Rex and Xirena soon disappeared into the fabulous one's room to do god knows what... whatever girls do, like painting their nails and read Tiger Beat is what Axel assumed.
Yet for some reason...
A twinge of something... a brief flare of bittersweet thoughts as she ran away. Just like Xirena had said she enjoyed her time with him, Axel – if asked – would say the same for her.