Thanks for all your thoughts on the last chapter! A lot of you had in-depth comments and theories based on the mini flashback... Reading them all was so much fun! We can't wait for you to find out what happened all those years ago ahaha

Until then, please enjoy this fluffy, angsty chapter :D

rated: M

summary: In a world of underground fighting only the strong survive, abiding by the rules of kill or be killed. In the Ring, a feeble emotion like hope is all it takes to destroy you. And yet it exists– and those who hold onto it play a dangerous game. But once you enter into the Ring, it will never let you go.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Long Count

when a boxer is given more than the allotted time (a notional ten seconds) to rise to his or her feet

Minutes earlier, Gajeel and Lucy were waiting outside Levy's room. Aside from the stitches and bandages needed in her left hand and stomach, she was going to be fine. To know she had come out of that without needing extensive therapy to other parts of her was a relief. Of course she had been hurt pretty badly, and would need her rest in the hospital for some time to come.

Gajeel and Lucy, for their part, had taken quite a bit of punches and smacks themselves. Lucy had needed stitches for her ripped ear, and had a few bandages around her wrists and a calf. Gajeel's injuries were minor in comparison, but both of his hands were taped up from muzzle burns from the gun and tenderizing a man's face with his fists.

They held a cat in both of their arms, Gajeel supporting the small form of Pantherlily, while Lucy comforted a distraught looking Happy.

"I'm so sorry, Gajeel," Lucy apologized, looking down at where Gajeel was silently glaring down the hallway at the nurses walking by. "I didn't mean to get you involved, or for Levy to get hurt like this."

The man heaved a sigh, his eyes flashing towards Lucy as they acknowledged her words.

"Lucy, I ain't mad at you. Ya did what you thought was right, and I should have given ya the support you needed from the get go instead of lettin' you and Levy do this on your own," Gajeel grumbled. "I'm the cop, this one falls on me."

He was always so eager, Lucy knew, to pin all the blame on himself.

"I'm mad because this whole damn thing blew up in our faces." Gajeel pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingertips. "Now the whole organization'll be spooked. They'll go underground for sure, and take Wendy with them."

Wendy.

Lucy flushed with guilt, her gut twisting as she remembered the frightened child Natsu looked after. She was their real goal to recover - but Lucy hadn't been able to turn away from Natsu.

She couldn't bring herself to regret it though. He was out of that terrible place, and Lucy would pay a personal cost to never see him back there.

"We got Natsu out though," Gajeel grunted, looking back down the hall at where the other fighter was being held. "Hopefully the damn Salamander will be able to help us more than I was able to."

Lucy nodded, bunching Happy closer to her chin and scratching him behind his ear. The feline meowed, bumping his tiny head underneath her jaw, his paw padding out to swipe at a lock of her blonde hair.

Before she could open her mouth to tell Gajeel she hoped he was right, there was a sudden flurry of motion further down the hallway. Lucy's gasped at the sight of people heading towards the room, recognizing it at once.

Natsu's room.

Both of them jumped up almost simultaneously, the cats landing on the ground with an offended cry. Sometimes Lucy wondered about them. They didn't exactly behave like normal cats would, even now choosing to follow them closely instead of running off in a fit. Then again, she guessed humans weren't the only living beings able to be thoroughly traumatized.

These cats had been through hell as much as their owners had.

Happy whizzed into the room before either Lucy or Gajeel arrived, having probably scented his owner and his distress. Lucy exchanged a worried glance with Gajeel as they neared the door, hearing the muffled cries behind it.

Gajeel wore a scowl.

"What is going on?" he demanded in his gruff tone as he slammed the door all the way open, and Lucy stopped in her tracks as she took in the chaos awaiting them behind it.

Both a nurse and a policeman were struggling and failing to hold Natsu down, who thrashed and kicked out blindly at anything he could reach, screaming at them to let him go.

A second, male nurse, and someone who probably was a doctor, stood a little way behind them with no means of reaching any further, seeming unsure on how to proceed

She heard Gajeel curse in front of her. "Stop that, for fuck's sake!" he bellowed. "Back off!"

At the sound of his booming voice, both the nurse and his subordinate followed his command automatically. As they retreated from the panicked man, the woman bent over to pick up a syringe that lay on the floor in the middle of the room, liquid spilling out between the broken glass. It must have dropped quite forcibly.

Natsu's eyes were wild, as if suddenly unsure why they had released him. His chest heaved and his body ached. Blood oozed fresh from the injury on his side, his thrashing having reopened the stitches.

Lucy ran over to him, stepping around the mess on the floor and ignoring Gajeel's warning. She gently touched Natsu's cuffed hand, grimacing at the angry red welts that had formed from his struggling. At the sight of her though, he stilled, breathing evening out from the panic.

"L-Lucy?" he stammered, his grip twisting around her fingers to clutch at her hand like a lifeline. She could still see how confused he was, the paranoia on his face over his unfamiliar surroundings as he asked, "Where am I?"

Taking his hand firmly in hers, she stroked her fingers through his thick hair. Some of the tension relaxed around his eyes at the touch, and she was grateful to see that his trust in her still seemed to remain intact.

"You're at the hospital, Natsu. You were shot." She caught sight of the way his mouth dropped open at the way she said his name so casually. "Do you remember everything that happened?"

He licked his lips, his frantic breaths finally slowing down. The shrieking of the machine confirmed that his heart rate was slowing. Sense seemed to flash in his eyes and he nodded. It was slow at first, but the way he seemed to register his surroundings sank in like a calming force.

"I'm… out?" he asked, his voice so quiet, the disbelief so poignant, it made Lucy's heart ache.

She squeezed his hand gently and smiled at him. "You're out."

The confirmation of his thoughts seemed to make all the fight drain out of Natsu and bleed into the mattress. His body sagged, tired and confused.

Lucy was quick to steady him as the strength left him, but her thin arms didn't do much good as his dead body weight pulled downwards, slipping from her grip. He fell back into the mattress, eyelids fluttering.

Happy jumped up onto the bed from somewhere behind it, rubbing his face against Natsu's chin and starting to purr like an engine now that he was reunited with his human.

Natsu stared at the ceiling in disbelief as his mind wrapped around everything that had happened.

"I think all you people can leave us alone now." Natsu recognized the voice as that of Black Steel, and he turned his head sharply, flinching from the pain that shot up his shoulder.

When had he gotten here?

He had changed since he'd last seen him. As Natsu took him in now, properly for the first time in years, he noticed quite a few differences. His age was a given, but what caught his attention first and foremost was the mane of black hair he wore.

It looked ridiculous. Natsu snorted quietly, suddenly insanely amused by everything.

"You're not dead then," he greeted, clearing his throat when his voice came out rather scratchy and hoarse.

His hand reached for Lucy, reassuring himself she was still at his side, and not going anywhere. When she answered his touch and carefully interlaced their fingers, Natsu relaxed once more. Happy had curled up into a ball, half-way falling off his shoulder, muzzle pressed against his neck.

"Damn right I'm not dead," his rival of old times grunted. "As if someone like yer sorry ass could actually get me killed."

They shared a look, then, a silent understanding passing between them.

Lucy could only imagine what they were feeling. They shared experiences she had only taken the tiniest of peeks at, had lived through horrors she only could begin to imagine. And yet, all three of them had shared the same fate for a short time. It was only by sheer luck that Lucy had gotten away long before either of them.

And Natsu had paid for it, for so many years.

Lucy turned her head, not wanting to intrude on their moment as a wave of shame washed over her. In the end, she had kept her promise. She had come back for him. But it should never have taken so long.

She wanted to apologize to him or to Gajeel for the hundredth time, and she would have if there was time for it. Natsu was looking at her as if with new eyes; the woman he had gotten to know over the past months would take a moment to blend in with the little girl he had known so long ago.

Her thumb rubbed a gentle circle around the crease of his wrist, causing a smile to flicker across his face.

"So what's the deal, Lucy?" Natsu finally asked after a long moment. "You two cops?"

Gajeel snorted at that, looking extremely amused by Natsu's question. Lucy didn't know if she should feel insulted or not considering the sheer amount of harassment he had to endure when Lucy followed a lead.

"She wishes," Gajeel scoffed.

Lucy shot him a sour look but shook her head. "I'm a reporter. Gajeel is the cop."

"Gajeel, huh?" Natsu repeated, squinting at the other.

"Detective Redfox to you," Gajeel growled, but there was a hint of … something behind his eyes that made Natsu snort.

It just made Lucy confused at their male showboating, and she figured it was normal between them. She never had asked much about the internal fights between people in the Ring.

Natsu huffed out a breath, relaxing back into the pillow and stroking his hand along Happy's spine.

"So what now?" he asked.

Gajeel exchanged a look with Lucy, who bit her bottom lip. In truth, she hadn't thought much about what would happen after she got Natsu out of the Ring. There were too many things going on at the time for her to think about everything. He was barely educated and had spent the majority of his life in captivity.

Most of his interactions with people were violent, and the ones that weren't - well, they weren't exactly suitable dinner conversations.

Getting Natsu acclimated with normal life was going to be hard. Especially since this was a world where he couldn't solve his problems by hitting them until they went away. Lucy had done it once before, with Gajeel. And Gajeel had gotten his help somewhere else as well..

But he was going to need an outlet. And some place to keep an eye on him.

At the time, Lucy had many bodyguards living around her at the estate, and Gajeel had stayed there with her, much to the displeasure of her father. But there he had been able to get his head screwed on straight.

Unfortunately Lucy no longer had those bodyguards under employ, despite how she could call them for aid whenever she needed them.

No, this was different.

"You're gonna have to answer a few questions for me," Gajeel began, "and when you're done you're going to be staying with me while we get you used to-" he waved a distant hand around his surroundings, "-this."

Natsu frowned, but nodded in understanding. His brows came together, as if there was something he was thinking about.

"All right, but-" Natsu glanced around, "-where's my dad? Why isn't he here? Can't I just stay with him?"

And just like that, the room fell entirely silent, the atmosphere changing in a heartbeat. Lucy didn't dare look up at Gajeel, keeping her eyes trained on where her and Natsu's hands were joined. She tried suppressing the images that came flooding back into her mind, but to no avail.

Natsu's father was long dead. Murdered. Torn apart.

How could she say that to his face?

After everything he had been through, he was finally free - and she was about to destroy his newfound happiness with three simple words. No. This wasn't fair.

"What?" Natsu asked, a nervous tinge to his tone.

Gajeel cleared his throat, and Lucy's head jerked up, eyes shooting a warning. He seemed to understand.

Awkwardly waving a hand at Lucy, he mumbled something under his breath about reports and having more important things to do before he disappeared out the door faster than either could react, Lily on his heels.

It was quiet again.

"Lucy," Natsu said again, a new urgency to his voice, "why isn't Igneel here? Did you not find him?"

Oh, it would have been so easy to say yes.

Lucy swallowed past the lump in her throat, forcing herself to meet his eyes.

He froze at the look on her face, his hand moving to withdraw from hers, but unable to thanks to how it was still cuffed to his stationary bed. She clutched at his fingers, as though preventing him from tearing away from her. The way she squeezed, until her knuckles were white, was probably too hard, but Natsu didn't seem to notice.

His face was pale, dark green eyes hollowing as she watched.

"Natsu…" Lucy choked before looking down at their hands. His fingers were clutching at the off-white blankets and her heart tightened. "I'm so...I'm so sorry…" was all she managed to whisper.

She couldn't bring herself to say it.

"He's dead?" Natsu's voice was flat, as if something had scraped him out. A flare of denial and white hot anger sparked in his eyes. "No, you're wrong… He can't be!"

Lucy wasn't sure if his disbelief was better or worse than the truth. She didn't like seeing defeat shadow his face. There was something so horrible about his lackluster expression, she wanted to chase it away forever.

But she had to tell him the truth.

She saw the pictures of Natsu and Igneel. While her own relationship with her father had never been anything like what he shared with him, Lucy knew what it was like to lose a parent. For him to have to accept he would never get the chance to see Igneel again….

He had held onto that thought for over fifteen years.

But how could she convince him of a truth she didn't even want to admit aloud. Her voice quivered as she tugged on Natsu's hand to get his stubborn attention.

"You said it yourself, Natsu," Lucy whispered. "Your dad would have looked for you if he could have."

"But…" He was struggling for words, and the way his breath came flat and desperate made her want to just fling her arms around him and protect him from this cruel world forever.

But she couldn't. Not yet.

Not until she'd told him the full truth.

Inhaling deeply, Lucy looked him in the eye, forcing his gaze to still with her watery one. "He's dead, Natsu," she whispered past the building sob in her chest. "He's been dead for fifteen years. I'm so sorry."

She watched as Natsu clenched his teeth and shook his head, tears filling up his eyes.

"Fifteen years?" he choked out, his face grimacing in pain. "But that's...that's…"

A weak nod was all Lucy managed before she hung her head in an attempt to hide the tears spilling onto her cheeks.

"...When they took you," she confirmed after a moment of silence.

Natsu didn't answer. His hand had been trembling beneath hers, but now it suddenly stilled before gripping her with new force, almost violently.

Unsettled, Lucy lifted her head.

Natsu was as pale as the sheets he was sitting on, cold sweat clinging to his face and body. Something wasn't right.

"Lucy," he choked, "I - I can't breathe. I can't - "

Her heart tightened in fear.

"Natsu!" she gasped, panic growing inside her when he started panting and gasping for breath, the hand that had been holding hers moving to his chest.

She knew what this was. It had happened to her too.

For a long time after her rescue, she'd experienced random bouts of panic, often waking up trembling, even refusing to leave her home for the first months.

It had passed, with time and expensive therapy, but the memory remained.

And Lucy had been all alone. No one had ever been there to just hold her, to talk it out, to comfort and console her when she needed it most.

No, when the world had spun around her and her chest had been too tight to breathe, all she'd had were empty hallways and even emptier rooms. She had been alone when the panic had come, and alone when the panic had gone.

She wouldn't let Natsu be all alone.

Carefully, afraid to startle him, she reached out and placed her hands on his shoulders.

"Natsu," she said, trying her best to sound calm, "look at me. Please."

He swallowed, hands flying up to grab onto hers, but otherwise showed no signs of having heard her. She tried again, and this time his eyes found hers.

"It's all right," she breathed, "I'm here."

He was struggling to find his breath, wide eyes pleading with her. His fingers twisted in the pale blue front of the gown he wore.

"Focus on me, all right?" she asked, and he managed a weak nod. Her right hand moved to cup his cheek, and she took a deep breath in hopes he'd mirror her.

His eyes were fixed on her. They stayed like this, breath for breath for breath, until Natsu had somewhat regained control over his mind and body. He was still trembling, but when Lucy was sure the worst part was over, she pulled him into a gentle, tight embrace.

He buried his face in her shoulder.

The skin of her neck soon was wet with tears, but she didn't say a word as he silently cried in her hold.

She wasn't sure how long they sat like this, only that her legs started hurting after some time.

"What's happening to me?" he finally asked her, his voice so faint she barely picked it up at first. "I thought I was dying."

It took her a moment to come up with a satisfying answer.

"You were locked away from the world for a very long time," she carefully said. "Everything right now is a shock to you. It's perfectly normal to be hurt and confused. Especially with…"

She didn't want to bring his father up again in fears of toppling him over the edge, so she trailed off. By the way his body tensed, she knew he'd understood what she was referring to.

Soothingly, she combed her hand through his sweaty hair.

He sagged against her, holding her tight as his breaths evened out.

"Thank you…" he mumbled into her hair, and Lucy wasn't quite sure what exactly he was thanking her for. She carefully shifted, trying to find a position that was at least a little more comfortable. Her legs had disintegrated from her body.

After a while she realized he'd fallen asleep.

As gently as possible, she moved him backwards and lowered him into the cushions along with her. For a moment, she looked down at his sleeping face, so peaceful now that consciousness had slipped him. Lucy sighed, brushing sweaty strands of hair off his forehead. Then, she rolled off him.

She wanted to be there when he awoke, and refused to leave the room.

Waking up after something so traumatic only to be traumatized again with devastating news... Let's hope he can come to terms.

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Next time! Chapter 21: Slip