A/N: Thanks for the reviews and follows. Despite my dislike of the show at the moment and the feeling of wanting to stop watching the show, I will never jump ship. I love this ship! Thanks to my beta Sarah for her help!

Chapter four

She woke up on the couch with a pounding headache. She groaned. Her mind had played cruel tricks on her, making her believe he was back in her life. She turned onto her back and felt a rough tongue swipe across her hand.

"Hey buddy." She mumbled to the dog whose head now appeared near her face. He nudged her cheek with his wet nose. She smiled and wiped the wetness away. She slowly sat up and ran her hand over Jethro's head as he sat next to the couch.

She looked at the coffee table and found two advils and a glass of water. Who'd put them there? Then realisation dawned on her that maybe, just maybe her dream hadn't been a dream. She tried to stay calm but failed. Her heart started beating faster and the pounding in her head seemed to intensify too. She tried to keep her breathing under control but failed.

Red appeared in the doorway of the living room. He'd heard wake up and now saw she was about to have a panic attack. Her breathing was quick and in short bursts. She had to calm herself down. The dog sensed the panic too and was now on his feet. He whined at his boss' distress. Then he approached him as if he was getting him to go help his owner.

"You need to calm down, Lizzie." He spoke to her as he walked over to the couch.

She immediately looked up. Her eyes were wide. "Red?" She asked. He couldn't be here. He was dead. She shook her head.

"I'm really here." He confirmed. He crouched down in front of her.

She watched him with wet eyes. Was he really here? She started to reach her hand out to touch him but stopped mid air. She was afraid he would disappear.

Seeing her hand move towards him but stop, Red reached out and took her hand in his, entwining their fingers. It seemed to be enough to stop her panic attack. Her breathing slowed down considerably. Lizzie just stared at him. He was unsure of what to do but knew he shouldn't force anything. He would let her set the pace.

After a moment she let go of his hand. He took the two Advils and the glass of water from table and handed them to her. He stood up and sat down in the chair. They sat in silence and stared at each other. Neither really knew what to say or do

Lizzie looked at the man she'd missed so much. He wasn't wearing a three piece suit like she'd been used to. He was wearing jeans with a black sweater. It looked good on him. He still looked so good. His eyes still held that tenderness that she loved to see. It used to be there whenever he looked at her and she was glad it was still there. She longed for him to hold her in his arms, to make her feel whole again and to never let her go. But she was afraid to ask. Maybe she was even too proud to ask. But she needed it. She needed him so much. But at the back of her mind there was anger and confusion. He'd left her and was the reason for her pain and loneliness.

"What's his name?" Red asked, nodding at the dog.

"Jethro."

At the mention of his name Jethro barked. He stood up, walked over to Lizzie and laid down in front of the couch.

"I like him. He's protective of you."

"He's good company."

He watched how she smiled at the dog, but there was a sadness in that smile too. "He helps to keep the loneliness at bay?" He asked.

"Don't, Red." She warned him.

He relented, for now. He didn't want to start an argument with her. They would probably have more than enough of that in the near future. Red stood up to leave the living room. He was going to the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" She tried to hide the panic in her voice, but knew it was futile. It had always been hard to hide anything from him.

Hearing the panic he turned and quickly reassured her. "I'm not leaving. I'm going to cook for you. You haven't been taking care of yourself."

"I don't need you take care of me." She mumbled.

"Excuse me?" He didn't quite hear what she said.

"What time is it?" She changed the subject. She didn't feel up for a fight that she knew was going to come.

"Almost seven."

She was surprised. Had she been knocked out for so long? She stood up. "I have to take Jethro for his walk."

"No need. I took him out already. He just needs his food. Didn't know how much you gave him."

"Okay." She joined him in the kitchen and as Red started to prepare dinner, Lizzie gave Jethro his food. It was strange being near him again. There was so much turmoil within her. She was happy that he was still alive. She was angry at him for leaving her alone. Angry that he hadn't confided in her, that he didn't trust her. Then there was the pain that she felt. Pain for this past year where at times getting up had been hard for her. Pain for moments lost when they could have been together. What she hated the most was how her own heart betrayed her. It had skipped a beat when she'd first seen him again. The heart wants what the heart wants and it was clear that her heart still wanted him. She ran her hand through her hair and tried to stay in control of her emotions. It was no use though. The confusion, the anger, the feelings she still had for him all collided with each other and she had to let it out. She didn't want him to see her fall apart and quickly left the kitchen. Jethro immediately followed her.

Red heard her soft sob before she almost ran out of the kitchen. He sighed. He knew he should tread carefully and not force anything but she was going to be a real test for his patience. He decided not to follow her but let her be. It was best to give her time now. When the time was right, he would push. He continued with making dinner. He knew she would reappear some time. He wasn't going to leave with seeing her.

TBC...