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rated: M
summary: In a world of underground fighting only the strong survive, abiding by the rules of kill or be killed. In the Ring, a feeble emotion like hope is all it takes to destroy you. And yet it exists– and those who hold onto it play a dangerous game. But once you enter into the Ring, it will never let you go.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Break!
a command by the referee to fighters in a clinch to separate
Natsu was growing restless. His fingers flexed with built up tension and he paced around the thin futon Gajeel was sprawled on.
Occasionally Gajeel would lift his gaze from his newspaper to glare at Natsu. The other man didn't notice these looks that were growing in angry intensity for every lap Natsu made. He didn't even break stride as Gajeel stood up. He only flinched back when suddenly a rolled up newspaper smacked him square in the back of his head.
Natsu threw his arms up with a snarl, his body coiling reflexively for a fight. The automatic response came to him with such frightening ease, Natsu immediately froze when his brain slowly registered the fact it was just Gajeel standing in front of him. Adrenaline shook through him, making his arms tremble over being startled out of his deep thoughts.
"You okay, brat?" Gajeel asked, his eyes narrowed onto him in suspicious slits. "You're lookin' a little tense."
Feeling very transparent under Gajeel's glare, Natsu forced himself to lower his arms. It was difficult, the need to protect himself and to fight rearing up in him like a conditioned response. It was instinct, and the pulse of it was burned into his very blood.
He took a deep, shuddering breath. Natsu needed to calm down. But just because he needed to, didn't make it easy. No, he struggled just to breathe without the eager sensation of fire burning through his lungs. He was tense, on edge, and craving a fight.
It didn't help that Lucy hadn't come by in a while. Her absence felt like a void, their argument blistering in his mind like it was a festering illness. He was still so confused over what happened to them, and asking Gajeel for his help in the matter wasn't just insane, it was entirely out of the question.
Natsu really just wanted to hit something.
That sense of disorientation he had been experiencing since getting out was only growing worse as he realized there was so much he didn't know. Natsu wasn't even sure he could ever catch up to all the time he had lost. It was frustrating just to sit inside and be left to his own thoughts.
Sure, he went outside with Gajeel to exercise and run errands, but it wasn't enough. Natsu was itching with a surplus of energy that had nowhere to go, and he knew it was only a matter of time before it went somewhere. Never before had he been given so much time to relax.
And he was using all of that time to turn around the argument he had with Lucy in his head.
Natsu blinked at Gajeel's sneering face, realizing he had yet to answer him.
"I'm fine." Natsu's cheeks warmed, folding his arms over his chest and glaring away.
Gajeel's scowl deepened with disbelief, and suddenly Natsu felt himself under the other man's intense scrutiny. Natsu tensed, his shoulders stiffening aggressively and his jaw flexing.
Red eyes stayed glued on his face until Gajeel backed off with a shake to his head.
"This ain't gonna work." Gajeel collected his fallen newspaper to flop back onto the thin seat he was sprawled over. "You've got too much… of them left in ya, Salamander."
"Don't call me that," Natsu spat, suddenly dangerously calm. "Or d'ya want me to call you Black Steel, huh?"
He leaned in closer, invading the taller man's personal space. A vein in his forehead twitched angrily, and Gajeel himself seemed rather ticked off by now.
"Oi, you better hold your tongue," he growled. "What will Lucy say if ya don't behave?"
For a reason Natsu himself couldn't quite comprehend, hearing Lucy's name was the drop that made the barrel run over. Lucy wouldn't say anything. Because Lucy wasn't here.
Maybe she didn't care for him at all anymore.
The thick air between them spiked with tension, and they could see in each other's eyes that one wrong movement would make the other snap - and suddenly Natsu really, really wanted to snap.
It seemed even Gajeel, after so many years of freedom and strenuous self-control, had not been able to entirely shake some old habits. They died hard after all, just like him.
Natsu's hands pushed against his chest, shoving him backwards.
It wasn't even a hard shove considering Gajeel was already seated. But it was the intent alone which had that black look entering his eyes. Natsu's heart thundered with the promise of a good fight, ignoring the injuries still scattered and half healed on both of them.
Gajeel surged to his feet in the matter of seconds, taking only a few deep, ragged breaths to understand what happened. Until he went on automatic. He was taller and broader than Natsu, and as those thick arms tackled him right around his middle, he knew in the back of his head that he was in for a good fight.
He knew he shouldn't have wanted this, he knew it. But he wasn't thinking about that anymore. It was just the fight. Just an opponent. Natsu let out a snarl as the force of Gajeel's attack swung him into the back of the futon.
His arms loosened enough for Natsu to slip through, who coiled his legs under him to drive an elbow in Gajeel's stomach. It brought some staggered space between them, a heavy grunt drawing from the other.
Anger burned in red eyes and Gajeel came after him, both men clearing the furniture. Unhindered, they could go all out.
- : : -
Lucy sighed, locking her car door without looking back as she headed for the entrance to Gajeel's building.
This visit wasn't exactly one she looked forward to.
But she really needed to talk things out with Natsu. She'd felt absolutely terrible these last way she had just up and left that day had come back to haunt her as much as the kiss itself, or the mess of a talk they'd had afterwards.
Her legs felt heavy as she dragged them up the stairs, as if they wanted her to turn around and leave her bad conscience behind. But that was not something Lucy could do.
By the time she'd made it to the third story, she was a nervous wreck. A little out of breath and sweaty, too, but she knew this was not the only reason her heart beat so fast.
She was about to knock when she heard a crash from inside. Jolting, Lucy's hands stopped mid-air. Her mind tried to classify the sound, and the only solution it came up with was that something very heavy must have dropped into… something unstable.
Carefully, she knocked. Seconds passed, and nothing happened.
"Gajeel?" she called out nervously. There was another sound, and this time Lucy pressed her ear against the door. She wouldn't have had to, because the next cry was so loud she flinched right back.
From the sounds of it, they were trying to bash each other's heads in.
Shit.
Lucy fumbled in her handbag, having given up the knocking with the suspicion it'd go ignored no matter how hard she tried. She produced her keyring, frantically searching for the right key. She'd never used it before.
The first she tried didn't fit, but the second clicked, and the door swung open for her.
"Natsu! Gajeel!" she called as she ran into the flat, finding them sprawled out beside the couch. Where the living room table had once stood, there only were some pathetic aluminum table-legs poking the air, the tabletop itself buried beneath the brawling men.
Natsu barely avoided a punch straight to the face, rolling them over with a grunt.
Lucy felt like she was in the Ring all over again.
What was worse, neither of them had even noticed she burst in. They were too involved with trying to beat one another into ground beef.
Swearing over the idiocy of the males in her life, Lucy sprinted to the kitchen. She fumbled for the sink, tearing open the faucet and yanking the detachable nozzle. Gajeel was going to have a fit when he came to his senses, but it would serve them both right for giving her a heart attack.
"That's enough!" Lucy shouted, her voice cracking at an uncomfortable pitch. She didn't wait to see if their thick skulls had picked up on her, instead letting a stream of cold water spray on the wrestling men.
They both jerked at the foreign sensation, the water soaking them both in seconds. They scrambled off one another, chests heaving and hair plastered to their foreheads.
The heat from attacking one another ebbed from their eyes. Slowly, they registered their surroundings, finding the source of their current wet state.
"Lucy?" Gajeel panted, swiping his tongue over a split lip. He scowled at her and the door that was swung open behind her. "How the hell did you get in?"
"Is that really important?" Lucy's voice was shrill, clutching the dripping hose to her chest as if it were a holy cross. "I just came up and heard a lot of loud noises! Imagine my shock when I see you two beating one another to pulps!"
Natsu exchanged a glance with Gajeel, rubbing at his bruised jaw. "Whoa, so you heard a lot of strange noises and just decided to come in? That's not safe, Lucy."
"Thought you had better sense than that, bunny girl," Gajeel continued off Natsu's thought, effectively making Lucy feel like she was losing her grip on sanity. "What if we were robbers?"
Wait, were they teaming up against her?
"You two idiots were the only ones here, and you smashed your table!" Lucy spluttered, pointing down at the splintered monstrosity. "And you're calling me irresponsible for coming in?"
Natsu and Gajeel had the gall to look at one another in consideration. Then, as if rehearsed, the glanced back at Lucy and nodded as one.
This wasn't going like Lucy had pictured it. At all.
They'd been supposed to hang their heads in shame, to fall to their knees and beg for forgiveness. And now they were acting as if she were the culprit?!
The only thing she was guilty of was secretly getting a copy of Gajeel's key! Granted, it was a little dubious, and could be considered trespassing… but that was not important right now!
"You two…" she started, her voice trembling with contained rage. "Get up, right now, and apologize!"
The two dumbfoundedly blinked at her, and as they looked back at each other for a second Lucy thought they'd burst into laughter. But one glance in her direction made them reconsider.
Grumpily (and maybe just the least bit ashamed after all), they got up. It was Gajeel who extended his hand first, looking anywhere but Natsu. Lucy thought she'd landed in a kindergarten instead of the flat of two grown men.
"'M sorry," Gajeel mumbled, barely audible. "I'm smarter so I should have stopped you."
He flinched when Natsu's hand clenched forcefully around his, a forced smile on his face.
"No, I'm sorry," he replied. "I should have won right away instead of playing with you."
Lucy was speechless. Their hands were locked in a death grip, grins turning slightly insane around the edges, and Lucy held her weapon of choice out again, determined to put an end to this once and for all.
If she had to treat them like misbehaving pets, so be it.
She first aimed for Natsu, spraying him in the face repeatedly until he staggered backwards with a yelp, and then sent one well-aimed splash right onto Gajeel's forehead. For a second she was convinced he actually hissed at her, but then she realized it was Pantherlily to his side, who had received a few stray droplets of water.
"Do you two even know what an apology is?" Lucy asked in exasperation, putting the hose away to set her hands on her hips.
Gajeel opened his mouth, but Lucy made a noise somewhere between a shush and hiss. They both had taken about five years off her life with that stunt alone.
Now that it was quiet, and they were standing in the wreckage of Gajeel's place, Lucy shifted her weight from foot to foot. The real reason why she came here was dragging to the forefront and she couldn't ignore it now.
Awkwardly, Lucy's gaze flitted to Natsu who was busying himself with plucking his shirt from his chest. Now that the excitement had worn off, she had a feeling he was avoiding looking at her. It seemed she was not the only one who remembered their last encounter.
"Ah, Gajeel, Levy wanted me to tell you if you don't stop avoiding her calls she's going to hack into the postal service network and change your name on your forwarding address to Officer Jerkbutt." Lucy tucked a nervous lock of hair behind her ear.
Gajeel frowned, glancing between the two of them as if sensing there was something hanging in the air between them. Lucy eyed her friend, somehow managing to convey the message she wanted to speak with Natsu alone. Gajeel grunted, giving Natsu one last hard look before heading towards his room.
"Guess I better call the shrimp," he acknowledged. Gajeel shot Lucy one last warning look before he stomped off to retrieve his phone.
She locked eyes with Natsu at last, then. At once, the already awkward atmosphere shifted to plain discomfort.
"Hey," she said, as if greeting him for the first time, and he smiled hesitantly.
They sat down on the couch, both careful to keep the right amount of distance.
The silence stretched out a little too heavily, and Lucy started rummaging through her bag a little too loudly.
She produced a little package, carefully wrapped in fabric, that revealed itself to be a book as she freed it.
"I brought this for you," she told him quietly, holding it out with both hands.
It was bound in leather, with gold carvings, and looked quite old and expensive.
"Fairy tales," he read out loud, and slowly, a warm, genuine smile stretched across his face. "Thanks, Lucy."
"Natsu, I'm sorry," she burst out, letting go of the book to let her hands drop into her lap. "I really am. I shouldn't have left like that."
Natsu exhaled slowly, waiting for her to bring her gaze back up. "You're back now," he said, almost softly, as if he was scared to say something that might make her leave again. "You won't leave again, right? Like that, I mean."
Lucy shook her head. "No. I promise."
He nodded, but remained silent. Expectant. And Lucy knew he deserved an explanation.
But it felt like the words were stuck in her throat, and every time she arduously coughed one up it seemed to be the wrong one.
"I…" she began quietly. "I don't want you to think I regret doing what we did. Because I don't. Not really. But I also think we shouldn't do it again. Not because I don't want to, but because it would be wrong."
Natsu looked up at her and she hated the hesitance she could see so plain in his eyes. The book she had given him was heavy, but he held it between his fingers like it was some kind of delicate prize. Even as unsure as he was of their standing, the gratitude for something as small as a hand me down book was almost heart breaking.
He breathed out a steady stream of air from his nose, no doubt his mind trying to rationalize what Lucy had told him. For all that she was a master at words, she was at a total loss on how to explain to him how she felt. Or even why this was so hard on her too.
"Lucy," he said finally, her attention sparking to him. He was still drenched, his head arching towards her so she could get a better look at the bruise beginning to darken the side of his jaw.
Gajeel really hadn't held back.
"I don't get what you keep trying to tell me." Natsu dropped his hand holding the book to his side and reached out with his free hand. Tan fingers captured hers, warm and just a little damp with water.
She could feel the roughness of his calluses graze her skin. He squeezed her hand, but gently - unlike the vice grip he had on Gajeel earlier.
"I don't think I'll ever get it, Lucy." Natsu met her eyes. "But what I do know is that you don't want to kiss me. That's okay, we don't have to do that."
Lucy opened her mouth to protest, knowing full well how much she had enjoyed that soul searing kiss. His mouth had caressed hers in such an exhilarating way, it was all she could think about. But he wasn't done, clearing his throat awkwardly to cut her off before he continued.
Almost childishly, he tried to grope for the right words. His brow furrowed, his lips pressing into an unhappy line.
"You said friends don't kiss each other, and after we did you...left." Natsu's gaze twisted away, almost flinching down to the carpet. A muscle in his jaw tightened, as if he was trying again, for the hundredth time, to understand what he had done wrong.
Lucy's heart knotted with guilt. She hadn't realized how badly she left things with him and she felt a little bad for having left the matter so up in the air.
"I missed seeing you, Luce." Natsu's thumb rubbed an absent circle into the top of her hand. His voice was a little rough but very quiet. "I would rather us be friends if it meant you stuck around."
Lucy closed her fingers over his. Soon his other hand had freed itself of its load to join the little pile between them. Her fingers threaded with his and she enjoyed the feeling of his large, strong ones pressing into hers. They wove between hers, their thickness contrasting sharply with her slender ones.
She looked up at his face, and found a hesitant, hopeful smile crawling up his cheeks.
"We'll always be friends, Natsu," she promised him with as much earnestness she could summon. "Please never doubt that. I like seeing you just as much, probably even more!"
"I doubt that." Natsu grinned, sucking in a relieved breath as finally, the uncomfortable tension between them yielded into something more bearable.
There was still a tension between them, but it was of a different kind. Always there, always quietly simmering away.
A faint blush crawled onto Lucy's cheeks, giving them a healthy rosy colour, as she returned his wide smile.
Neither wanted to let go of the other's hand. Careful not to loosen her grip, Lucy scooted a little closer.
"I missed seeing you too," she admitted with a shy smile. "A lot."
She jolted slightly when he shook his wet hair at her, the unexpected droplets shocking her out of her sentimental state.
Natsu grinned brightly, placing a large hand atop of her head. Lucy returned his grin. Then she protested sharply as he ruffled her hair, fighting him off.
They could do this.
"How about," she started slowly, an idea, albeit a little selfish, taking a hold of her, "you come over to my place with me, to make up for the time we missed? I will cook whatever you want, and we can watch a fun movie, and I have more than one spare bed to offer."
She couldn't help her desire to see him, to be with him. But she could do it as a friend, for both their sakes.
As expected, the idea seemed to delight Natsu.
"Anything I want?" he reassured himself, and it took Lucy a moment to realize he was talking about the food.
She laughed. "Anything at all."
They didn't have to suffer through emotional turmoil for too long...or will they? More action ahead!
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Next chapter! Chapter 24: Infighting