LILY POV

Howling wind and thunderous rain rocked the Hogwarts express as it hurtled towards Platform 9 ¾. The train was unusually quiet with most people staying at Hogwarts over the holidays because of the ball. Lily, alongside Marlene and Peter, had been ordered home by their parents for Christmas, with the promise of returning in time for the boxing day ball. Lily had a sinking feeling it was her parents way of forcing Lily to met Petunia's new finance. Not for the first time that morning, Lily found herself envying Marlene – at least her older brother's future wife was a decent person.

"It's your move Lily," Peter said, gesturing at the chessboard.

Lily eyed her pieces with annoyance. She was borrowing Marlene's set, and it was obvious that they didn't trust her judgment. She quickly glanced at Marlene – who was sitting silently by the window – before moving her rook to the left.

"Don't move me there!" The rook said indignantly. "Can't you see his bishop?"

"Yes," Lily growled at it. "But if their bishop takes you my bishop is free to take the queen."

"That's very obvious Lils," Marlene said, finally showing an inkling of interest in their game.

"Exactly," the rook said.

"Eghh – I'm sorry Peter but this game is so rigged," Lily said. "You win. I'd wipe the entire floor if we we're playing normal chess."

"This is normal chess," Peter said, frowning.

"Muggle chess," Lily said. "Whatever."

As if he'd finally given up on the girl's mood, Peter clambered to his feet. "I'm going to go sit with Frank," he said. "Have a good holiday."

Lily watched their compartment door slide close, her stomach curling into knots of guilt. Marlene just shrugged – but her shoulders relaxed a little afterwards.

"What's up?" Lily said.

"Nothing," Marlene retorted. "You?"

"Nothing too," Lily responded.

Both girls knew that their friend was lying but Lily couldn't for the life of her figure out what was causing Marlene so much anxiety. Marlene, on the other hand, had a growing suspicion that Lily was worried about finally meeting Vernon Dursley and how her sister might treat her over the holidays.

A stony silence fell between them as the train neared London.

JAMES POV

"Should we start McGonagall's homework," Sirius asked, stretching his brow.

"Huh?" James responded, who'd been too busy wondering what he'd done wrong in his lifetime to have finally be able to get with Lily but then to have her go home for the holidays three days later. He had taken her down to the station, kissed her brow and promised he'd write, but it'd be a week before she returned for the ball. And then – just like his luck – as soon as she returned, he'd be leaving for his cousin's wedding.

"I knew that would get your attention," Sirius said, grinning. "As if Sirius Black would do homework on the first day of holidays."

"Oh are we referring to ourselves in the third person now?" James teased.

"Sure," Sirius said. "Whatever. I've actually got something to propose to you."

James cocked an eyebrow. The game of exploding snap between them was forgotten. "Should I grab Moony?" Both boys glanced at the boy in question, who was conversing with Alice on the other side of the common room.

Sirius sucked air through his teeth. "I don't think he'd approve," he said slowly.

James nodded. "Okay," he said, just as slowly. "But if Moony wouldn't approve, shouldn't I not approve? You know, Head Boy and all."

"I don't think Moony would morally approve," Sirius re-phased.

"Sirius, I dunno –"

"Hear me out Prongs," Sirius pleaded.

James nodded. "Fine," he said. "But if I disagree, you have to promise not to do whatever this is alone. Or," he added as an afterthought, "drag Peter into helping you."

"Got it," Sirius said, shaking James' seriousness off. "You better not be one of those boyfriends that basically turns into their girlfriend's bitch."

"We're not dating," James said defensively.

"Yet," Sirius said, waggling his eyebrows.

"Just get to the point Padfoot."

"Fine – well the other day I was coming out of the Room of Requirement with Darcy Hopkins – "

"What were you doing in the Room of Requirement with Hopkins?"

"Don't interrupt," Sirius said. "Anyway, we we're out after curfew so I had the map and I saw Dumbledore, McGonagall and Slughorn coming down the same corridor we we're on. So, naturally, I told Darcy to hide behind that tapestry – you know the one right? – and we waited for them to get closer."

James' tummy clenched – it was odd enough to see those three together during the day, let alone after curfew.

"Anyway I heard Slughorn complaining about one of the staff – Robinson or someone –"

"Robertson," James correct. "She teaches Ancient Runes."

"Not the point," Sirius said. "Did you know that Robertson also works part time at the Ministry?"

James gaped. The Ministry was trying awfully hard to make sure each of the Death Eater attacks didn't look to be carried out by an organized group, instead casting each death off as an accident, or an unfortunate mistake. But after one of the Aurors – Mad Eye Moody – had captured two Death Eaters and thrown them into Azkaban, James was positive the Minister would see sense. Apparently he hadn't.

"Okay," James said slowly.

"I couldn't figure out what was so bad about that at first – so for the next few days I'd been using the map to watch the teachers," Sirius told his friend. "And it's always the same few gathering together in random places. I dunno what to think, but you don't reckon Robertson is reporting back to the Ministry stuff the teachers say? And because of this, they can't talk to about Voldemort stuff in front of her."

"But why – unless you're saying that Dumbledore…" James trailed off, his eyes growing wide.

"Why not?" Sirius said, excited that James had caught on so quickly. "People say Dumbledore is the only one Voldemort is afraid of. It'd make sense for Dumbledore to be the leader of this rebel group."

"So say he is," James said, realizing Sirius still hadn't explained his plan. "What are you planning on doing?"

"We should start using the cloak," Sirius proposed. "And eavesdropping on their conversations. If Dumbledore's forming an army don't you want to join?"

James nodded firmly. "Of course mate, you know I do," he said. "But we haven't finished school yet. Don't you think Dumbledore would want qualified wizards?"

"I don't think he'd have many choices really," Sirius said. "Most people either work for the Ministry so are constantly being brainwashed to believe utter crap, and the rest are either Death Eaters or Voldemort worshippers. Then most people don't know what to believe."

"But that's the same here Padfoot," James said. "The only reason we don't believe the bullcrap of the Daily Prophet is because my Dad works is an Auror. All the aurors know that the Ministry is lying since they're the ones cleaning up after Voldemort!"

"Then we become Aurors," Sirius said pointedly. "Then we can join. I still wanna know about this secret army."

"I want to be an Auror too, but training takes years," James said. "And besides, there might not even be a secret army."

"Come on," Sirius whined. "I'm bored and it's the holidays. We may as well do something."

James mulled that over for a bit. The only thing that was holding him back was the horrified faces of Lily and Remus if they find out that he and Sirius had been spying on the teachers for information. He looked Sirius firm in the eyes, noticing just how rounded with anger they were. The other two don't understand, he told himself. We've both grown up in this terrible world. The other two have been shielded by their parents and their heritage.

"Fine," James said. "But we don't tell a soul."

Sirius grinned, slapping James on the shoulder. "Knew you'd come around."

"Padfoot, I'm being serious," he said. "No one can find out. Not Peter, not Remus –"

"And not Lily, yeah, yeah – I got your back."

"It's not just that but if this gets out, and if what you're saying about Robertson is true then we could be in serious trouble not only with Dumbledore for getting his secret out but with the Ministry," James said. "This stays between us."

Sirius held his hand out. James grabbed it and shook it firmly. It was about as close to an unforgivable vow to the two boys.

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The first time round the two boys didn't have much luck. They snuck back into the dormitory – James had taken to sleeping in his friends' dorm again over the holidays – late one morning, exhausted and thoroughly annoyed. They'd followed McGonagall and Flitwick's dots around the castle for over three hours without ever finding them.

The second time had a similar effect. Dumbledore and McGonagall we're just as elusive – and at one point of the night their dots disappeared entirely. James had a sinking feeling they we're using the Room of Requirement.

After the fifth night – after following Slughorn, Sprout and Dumbledore around the first floor – James and Sirius vented out their frustration against Peter's empty bed. A mistake, since the loud noise of feet against wood woke Remus. He sat upwards, rubbing his sunken eyes. He clocked eyes with his friends, a flicker of hurt running across his face.

"Where have you been?" He asked them.

Sirius shrugged. "Prefects bathroom."

"For the past five nights?" Remus said. There was no mistaking the hurt in his tone.

"Well, since you and James have selfishly hidden its wonder from me I've taken my time to use every inch of it," Sirius said.

It was clearly the wrong thing to say and James winced. "Fine," Remus snapped. "Lie to me. But I distinctly remember asking you last year if you wanted me to show them to you and you scoffed in my face and told me to stop being a princess prefect."

"Look," James said, perfectly aware that Sirius was covering for him. Sirius had no qualms with telling Remus, but for some reason James didn't want him to know. "We've just been roaming around. You know – looking for secret passages and stuff."

Remus rolled his eyes. "You know what," he said, lying back down. "I don't even want to know."

LILY POV

Lily stared at the piece of paper before her. It was nice to have a normal pen back in her hand instead of a school quill, but that didn't make writing her letter any easier. Lily clicked her pen a few times – frustrated – before tapping it against her teeth. A sheepish knock broke the silence.

"Come in," Lily said, glad for the excuse to stop.

Darcy Evans looked a lot like Petunia with her straight blonde hair and angular face. It was only her green eyes that Lily had inherited; the rest had come from her father.

"Petunia wanted me to tell you that Vernon will be here in fifteen minutes," her mom said. Then her eyes fell onto Lily's empty letter. "Writing to your friends?"

Lily shrugged non-committed. Her and James had kissed twice, but there wasn't any solid label to their relationship. They hadn't even been on a date yet.

"A boy maybe?" Her mom said sounding interested. She sat down on Lily's bed.

Lily groaned. "It's for Alice," she said. "Since she's stuck at school and all."

Her Mom smiled all-knowingly. "Okay darling."

"Mom!" Petunia screamed from down stairs. "He's coming up the drive now."

Mrs. Evans frowned at little, puckering her lips.

"Be nice Mom," Lily teased.

"I'm always nice," her mom scolded. "I just wish she'd chosen something with a little more – well a little more –"

"Manners?" Lily suggested. "Consideration? Kindness? Selfishness?"

Her Mom shook her head, smiling sadly. "You ask for too much in a man Lily."

Lily snorted, before realizing her Mom was being serious. She watched as her Mom left, mindlessly wondering what her mom had meant by that.

Vernon Dursley was a complete prat, in the opinion of Lily. Unfortunately the same could not be said of by Petunia. Lily had to watch, with a growing sense of disgust, as Petunia fawned over and showered her new fiancé with compliments. Although their Mom might've thought that Lily set her standards too high, Lily couldn't help wondering if Petunia had any standards at all. The only redeeming quality she could find in Vernon was his dedication to work, but after listening to him ramble on about the mechanics of drills for over two hours Lily was ready to scream.

"So Lily?" Vernon said. Lily choked on her spoonful of desert, shocked to see Vernon had finally decided to look at her with his beady eyes. Maybe he thought that buttering me up would get him brownie points with Mom and Dad. "Petunia here has told me that you are home schooled?"

The room couldn't have grown quieter if someone had pressed a mute button. Their Dad opened him mouth in shock, whilst their Mum stared at her oldest daughter, her lips pursed. Petunia, on the other hand, had turned scarlet.

Vernon had the decency to look abashed. "I'm sorry if I've brought up a touchy subject," he started, stumbling a bit. "I wasn't aware that Lily's schooling was an issue."

Petunia, maybe horrified that her fiancé was staring at her family as if they were all freaks, hastily sought out a new lie to comfort him. "It's fine honestly," she said. "Our parents are just over protective of Lily. She's quite simple minded – but –"

She stopped abruptly at the look of horror on Mrs. Evans face. Lily had gone cold. Of course her sister had managed to find the one man on earth how was just as disgusted by any behaviour that screamed freak. Maybe the couple was destined to be together. The rest of the dinner continued awkwardly, with Vernon shooting Lily a discreet glance every now and again.

Lily was so red with fury at her sister that when everyone was finished with desert she rose loudly to her feet and stuck her tongue out at Petunia. Petunia gasped – which was the reaction Lily was aiming for.

"Good night," she said, then stomped to her room.

"Lily –" her father started.

"Just leave her," Petunia snarled. "Leave her to ruin dinner."

"I think you've already managed to do that," her Mother said coldly. "Calling Lily simple minded, what were you thinking?"

"I hate to intrude," Vernon said, gaining only looks of frustration from Lily's parents. "But if Lily isn't simple minded then why is she being home schooled."

Both Mr. and Mrs. Evans were lost for words. The truth was even more complex, and not to mention forbidden to be spoken to Vernon.

"She's simple minded and weird," Petunia said firmly. "My parents just won't accept that her strange behaviour is because of some stupid mental disorder."

Back in her room, Lily flopped furiously onto her bed. How dare her sister! She picked up her pen and a book to lean against. It wasn't James she wanted to write to anymore – how was he ever supposed to understand? It wasn't even Marlene or Alice. It was someone a little more unfamiliar.