Crazy trouble with love part 4

Pyronica and Dipper

Series: Gravity Falls

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"It's over, it's all over." Dipper said as he watched Bill pick up the now gold Ford.

"That's right Little Dipper, and you get a front row seat to it all, ain't I such a nice guy?" Bill chuckled as he tipped his hat at Dipper before turning to the collection of interdimensional demons and monsters behind him. "Now fellas, sit back, relax, and let's get the big party started!"

"What about him?" Eightballs asked as he pointed at Dipper.

"Oh don't worry, after we have our fun, I'm gonna make sure he has a good spot to see his uncle, right beside him." laughed the pyramid.

"So, we can't kill him?" Eight balls asked in disappointment.

"Well I wouldn't say that. After all, my left elbow could use a little support and his head is just the right size." he remarked picking Dipper up.

"H-hey, put me down, you don't want me, I'm too small to offer any support!" He said desperately as he tried to get out of Bill's grasp.

"Wait, maybe I could use him." spoke Pyronica.

"Really? You hungry or something Pyronica?" Bill asked her curiously.

"Well it's past lunchtime, so I could have a little snack." She said as she licked her large lips.

Dipper paled and shook his head before Bill moved his arm back and tossed the boy towards the woman. "Well here you go then, have an appetizer!"

"Ahhhhh!" Dipper screamed as he flew through the air as Pyronica opened her mouth and shot her long tongue at him. It grabbed him and reeled him in before she shut her mouth. "Hey! Let me out!" He shouted as the tongue wrapped around like a giant fleshy blanket.

"Mmmm, tasty." She said with a toothy grin as she made a gulping noise.

"Great! Now let's get going for the party."

"I'll be with you guys in a bit, I'm going to go find some more snacks quick!"

"Don't wait up." She said as the others began to fly towards the pyramid. She looked away and spat Dipper out while wiping her mouth. "What just happened?!" Dipper cried as he looked around on the ground. "Ugh, we're going to have to wash you before putting you in my mouth again, you're filthy!"

"Bleh!" he spoke while looking at the saliva. "Wait, why did you spit me out? You said you were gonna eat me."

"Simple, I lied." She said with a grin as she crouched down to get a better look at him. "Hmm, you look a little stringy, but a little exercise can fix that."

"Wait, what? Why are you talking about exercise, and why did you lie to Bill?"

"Because I didn't want you to end up as part of his throne." She said as she looked him over before saying. "Still young, good, that means he can be trained."

"Wait, trained? For what?" he asked growing nervous.

"To be my pet of course." She said with a grin as she kept looking at him before she began to reach for him.

"No way!" he jumped back and started running. "I have to get out of here and find Mabel!" He said to himself as Pyronica stood up with a frown.

She held her hand out as a wall of flames erupted in front of him. "Now that was very naughty, why did you run away?" She said as she stood up and began to approach him.

He looked at her and started sweating from fear and the heat before she reached down and grabbed him.

"I guess I'm going to have punish you once we get home, but first, I have to name you."

"B-But I already have a name!" He said as he tried to get out of her grip, semi-amazed the white flames that made up her gloves wasn't burning him.

"No, when people get a new pet they have to name it, so I have to give you a new name." She said as she used her free hand to tap her chin.

"Pet?!" He shouted in disbelief as she tried to think of a new name for him.

"I know! I'll call you Roger." She said with a large smile.

"What?! No, my name is Dipper! Dipper!"

"Not anymore Roger." She giggled as she patted him on his head.

He internally groaned at the petting before she started walking. "Where are we going now?" He groaned in annoyance.

"My house so I can get you trained." She said as Dipper looked at her in confusion.

"You're house? Where do you live?"

"That." she held him up as he saw the a cabin that looked like it was on fire.

"What th- when did that get here?!" He asked in confusion.

"We did some remodeling after coming here, I think you'll like it." She said with a grin as she opened the door to the cabin.

"Wait! I'll be burned alive in there!" He cried, making her stop in her tracks.

"Oh, right, fire hurts humans, I totally forgot!" she snapped her fingers before the flames died down to just flames on the windows before walking in. "There we go."

"Yay...that's great.." He said half heartedly as she kept walking through the cabin which was much bigger on the inside.

"Now then, you need something to really look like my pet. Hmmm, maybe a dog suit? Or how about a cat?" She said as Dipper paled.

"Y-You can't just dress me up!"

"Oh don't worry, you'll look adorable." She said with a grin as she patted his head before stopping in front of a pink door that was on fire. She opened it and Dipper saw an assortment of costumes. "Well then, let's find the perfect outfit for you Roger!"

"It's Dipper!" He Shouted as she began to pick out different outfits.

"Hmm, maybe this." She held a dog's outfit over him.

"No way, I'm fine in my regular clothes, thank you very much!"

"Or maybe this." She held up a cat's outfit.

"Are you even listening to me? I don't need an outfit!"

"Quiet Roger! I'm thinking." she looked around and held up a costume similar to his lamby lamb one. "I think this one is perfect."

Dipper paled as he saw the costume and said. "You know what, that dog outfit wasn't so bad, was it?"

"No, this is just right." she snapped her fingers before it appeared on Dipper. "There, now you're nice and soft to cuddle. She cooed as Dipper glared at the costume he was wearing.

'Not this thing again! I'm not dancing, but even just looking at it is embarrassing!'

"Alright, now that we've got your outfit for today, let's start traini..oh that's right!" She said, confusing Dipper. "I have to punish you for trying to run away."

"Wait, what? Punish me?" He said nervously.

"Yup." she put him over her arm and moved her two fingers back before lightly swatting his rear.

"Ow! Ow!" He said as she continued to spank him.

"This hurts me more than it does you Roger."

"It's Dipper! Ow!" He shouted as she began to stop spanking him.

"No, it's Roger, we've been over this." she replied before holding her finger near his head before a collar appeared around his neck with a tag for 'Roger' on it.

"Hey!" He said as he tried to take the collar off only to get shocked.

"That should help make sure you don't try to run off again, now let's get you trained." She said as she turned around and walked out of the room with him. She went to the living room and conjured up some balls and toys before setting him down. "Ok, now what should we start off with?" She asked as she snapped her fingers and a large book with the words 'How to train your human.' on it.

He sighed and sat down while looking around. 'If I can sneak away before she notices then maybe I can get this collar off.'

"Let's see...chapter one, house training your human." She said as Dipper rolled his eyes.

"I can use the bathroom thank you very much." he huffed.

"You may say that Roger, but let's see what the book says." She said as she kept reading.

He groaned and facepalmed. "Look, just point me at the nearest bathroom."

"Ok Roger, one second." She said as she snapped her fingers and a giant kitty litter box appeared next to him.

He groaned and jumped up and down. "Not that! A real bathroom!"

"What do you mean Roger, this is your bathroom now."

"I'm not using that, I need a regular person's bathroom with privacy."

"You're my pet and you will use your new bathroom!" She said sternly.

"Not gonna happen, I'm not a giant cat, I'm a human being."

She frowned and walked over before picking him up. "Well if you're gonna be so stubborn, then I'll have to show you who's in charge."

"W-what do you mean? Are you going to spank me again?"

"No, I'm gonna do something a little different. If you can manage to avoid me catching you for about the next….three minutes, I'll give you a bathroom with all the privacy you want, but if I catch you, then you use the box, got it?"

"OK...do I get a head start?" He asked her curiously.

"Yes, starting….now!" she put him down on the ground.

"Wait, what?" He said before he began to run as fast as he could. 'Gotta find somewhere to hide!'

"Run run as fast as you can, there's no outrunning me Roger!" She said with a grin as she began to chase after him.

"That's what she thinks." He muttered before running towards the table in the kitchen. 'Heck, if I'm lucky I might be able to escape from this place.'

"I'm gonna get ya!" She said as she entered the kitchen before spotting him under the table. She crouched down and reached out, but she ran away and headed towards the backdoor. "Ok, I have your exit blocked, now I'm gonna get you Roger~." She said with a grin.

"Wrong!" he veered away and headed towards a mouse hole.

"No! Don't go in there!" She said as she rushed to cover it before he reached it.

He jumped over her hand and dove it while smiling as he made it. "Yes! I did it!" He said victoriously.

She growled before reaching in with a hand. "Roger, you get out of there right now, do you hear me!"

"I hear you, but I'm not gonna!" He said as he avoided her hand.

"Roger, I'll give you to the count of three to get out! One…"

"Two three, but I'm not coming out." he called back while relaxing against the wall.

"Fine, you leave me no choice." She said as she snapped her fingers and a pink leash appeared in her hands before connecting to his collar.

"What the? Hey, that's no fair!" He spoke tugging on it.

"It wasn't fair when you went exactly where I said not to go and disobeyed me." She said as she began to tug on the leash, pulling him out of the mouse hole.

"We had a deal!" He said as she grabbed him and hoisted him into the air.

"Well..yeah, but you wouldn't listen to me, you could have gotten hurt in there!"

"Well maybe if you just listened and didn't give me a litter box this wouldn't have happened."

She thought about it for a moment before sighing and saying. "Fine, I'll give you a real bathroom, but it's still gonna be in a box!"

"How's that gonna work?" He asked in confusion as they entered the living room again before she snapped her fingers and made the leash disappear.

She emptied the box before a small bathroom with tub and toilet appeared with a curtain around the borders. "There, better?"

"...A little bit, thanks." He said as she picked up the book and looked at the next chapter. "Chapter two, playing with your human."

"I have a bad feeling about this." He said as she continued to read the chapter.

"Let's try playing ball." She said as she picked up a large red ball that was almost as big as Dipper.

"Uh, maybe chess?" he suggested nervously.

"Ok Roger, catch!" She said happily as she lightly tossed the large ball at Dipper.

"Wah!" He turned and ran as it bounced after him while looking like a boulder to him.

"No Roger, you're suppose to catch it." She said as she watched Dipper run away from the large rubber ball.

"I can't catch something that big!" He shouted as the ball began to lose it's momentum and slow down. He stopped running and panted with some relief. "That...was too...close.."

"Huh, I guess we'll have to try something else." she remarked looking back at the book. "If you're human doesn't like playing with balls, try giving them a chew toy."

"I'm not gonna enjoy a giant chew toy." He said right before she snapped her fingers.

"Just give it a try Roger, then we can move onto the next chapter." She said as a large red rubbed bone appeared in front of him.

He rolled his eyes and moved near it. 'Might as well humor her.' He thought before opening his mouth and chomping onto the oversized chew toy.

"Good Roger." She said with a smile before flipping the pages of the book and saying. "Chapter three, feeding your human."

'If she tries to feed me kibble I'm gonna lose it.' He thought with a frown as she kept reading.

"Humans are a small species, so make sure that any food you give them is either already chewed up or blended so it'll be easier for them to eat."

"We're not birds!" He shouted in annoyance as Pyronica snapped her fingers and made two large bowls appear.

"There we go, one for food and one for water."

'For an all powerful being she sure is too dense.' He thought with a large sweat drop.

"Now, what should your first meal be?" She said as she tapped her chin as she thought.

"Um...grilled cheese?" He offered up, hoping she would forget about the blending and chewing thing the book had mentioned.

"Hmmm….maybe, what about spinach?"

"If it's gonna be pre-chewed I'll pass." He said as his face turned green.

"Carrots?"

"Are you going to chew them up before I get to eat them?" He asked with a sigh.

"Well they do seem a little tough." She said as he groaned.

"Well, I'll be the judge of that." He replied as he saw a pile of them appear in one of the bowls.

"Ok, but if they're too tough I'll chew them for you, ok?" She said as he made his way to the bowl.

'Not gonna happen.' He thought grabbing one and bit into it before chewing it. 'Well at least they're normal ones.' He thought as he kept chewing it as Pyronica watched him.

"How do they taste?" She asked as he swallowed the carrot.

"A little bit raw and kind of chewy." He said as he took another bite. "But not too bad."

"Ok, I guess I won't have to chew carrots for you, I'll have to remember that." She said when suddenly a loud ringing echoed through the house. "Oh! Someone's at the door!" She said as she got up and began to walk to the door.

"Wait, what did she mean by she won't chew carrots, does that mean she's gonna chew my other food?" Dipper said to himself as he watched her leave. 'Now's my chance, I can bolt out through the mouse hole!' He thought as he began to run towards the kitchen.

Meanwhile Pyronica reached the front door and began to open it. When she did she saw it was Bill.

"Hey Pyronica, why aren't you at the party? You missed me destroying time baby."

"Sorry Bill, I had to...redecorate the place, I'm thinking about adding a flaming fountain."

"Ok, well, you can do that later, right now it's time to party so let's go!"

"Uh, can you give me a second? I wanna make sure I've got enough fire." She said before quickly shutting the door.

"Ok, but hurry up!" Bill said from the other side.

She sighed and saw Dipper running towards the mouse hole again. "No! Not again!" She said angrily as she snapped her fingers and the leash reappeared. She yanked on it and caused Dipper to come flying back from the tension.

"No, I was so close!" He said as he landed in her hand.

"You're coming with so I can keep my eye on you." She said as she frowned at him.

"Coming with you? Where are you taking me?" He asked her in confusion.

"We're going to Bill's party, but I can't let him know you're alive or he'll make sure you're dead, so I'll have to sneak you in."

"Sneak me in? How are you going to sneak me in?" He asked her in confusion.

She tapped her chin before grinning and pulling the top part of her leotard opened and held him over it.

"P-Pyronica, what are you doing?" He asked in dread.

"Just hold still." she dropped him in before letting go of her leotard.

The elastic material snapped back into place, pushing Dipper against her bare pink skin, trapping him in place in her unitard.

"H-Hey!" He cried out with a bright blush.

"Don't move too much Roger, I'm just going to keep you there until after the party, then we can get back to training." She said as she lightly patted the spot Dipper was. She snapped her fingers before being covered in flames and vanished from the spot.

She then reappeared right next to Bill outside.

"Ready?"

"Yep, let's go party!" She said with a grin.

(Later)

The cosmic entities danced in a large room in the pyramid with flashing lights and loud music.

"Whoo-hoo! Party!" Pyronica shouted happily as she danced.

"Ah! Watch it!" Dipper called out from her clothes as he was moved around like a ragdoll.

Unfortunately due to the loud music she couldn't hear him and kept dancing.

'I'm actually glad no one can see me like this.' He thought as he looked down at the collar and lamb costume he was wearing. 'Wait, if I'm in the pyramid, I could free the others without Bill knowing and we can turn the tables!' He thought with a bright smile. 'Now, how do I get out of her leotard?'

"Woo! Shake those hips!" called 8 Ball seeing Pyronica really get into the groove.

"Yeah, dance like you just don't care!" Shouted Hectorgon as she began to dance even harder.

Dipper blushed as he kept rubbing up against her chest. 'This feels really weird.' He thought as he began to sink farther down her leotard. He panicked and tried grabbing at her belly. 'No! At this rate I'll end up in her boot or something!' He thought as he kept trying to get a grip with no luck.

Pyronica though started noticing and panicked. 'No! I might end up crushing Roger at this rate! I have to move him back up!' she stopped dancing and quickly sped out of the room.

"Hey, where's Pyronica going?" 8 Ball asked in confusion.

"She's probably just taking five, or exploring the pyramid." remarked Bill while watching her leave. 'Hmm, but maybe it's something else.'

Meanwhile Pyronica was looking for an empty room so she could get Dipper out of her leotard. "Hold on Roger, I'll get you out, I promise!"

"Hurry!" He cried as he began to slowly slid down her left leg.

She pulled the leotard near her leg up and reached in before pulling him out.

"I'm so sorry I didn't notice sooner Roger, are you ok?" She asked in a worried tone as she looked him over for any signs of injury.

"Yeah, except for you hiding me in there." He said with a blush as he tried to forget being pressed against her.

"Well where else was I supposed to hide you Roger?"

'Your mouth itself would be more tolerable and less embarrassing.' He thought when suddenly they hear Bill's voice. "Pyronica, where are you!"

She jumped and quickly shoved Dipper in her mouth before turning around towards the floating pyramid. "Yes Bill, what is it?" She asked him quickly as she tried not to look suspicious.

"Why'd you run out of there so soon? The party was just starting."

"Oh, I just felt myself about to pull a leg muscle so I ran here so I could stretch it out and not look like a fool on the dance floor." She said as she made some quick stretching motions.

"Oh really? Well what's with your cheek? You look like you've got something in your mouth."

"Oh uh, it's nothing, don't worry about it." She said quickly as she began to sweat nervously.

His eye narrowed before snapping his fingers as a crowbar appeared and wedged her mouth opened. "Now then, let's take a look at what you have in there." He said as he reached his arm into her mouth.

She panicked as his arm went in and pulled out a pale Dipper looking nervous.

"What the...is this pine tree?" Bill asked in surprise. "Either you forgot to chew your food, or you never ate him at all."

Pyronica tugged the crowbar out of her mouth before saying. "B-bill, please, give him back to me, please?"

"Hmm, I don't know." He looked at Dipper before noticing his costume. "Wow, did you become half goat when I wasn't looking?"

"N-no, that's Roger's new outfit." Pyronica said nervously. "And it's a lamb."

"Roger? Lamb outfit? What is going on?" Bill asked her in confusion.

"I made him my new pet." She said as Bill's eye widened in surprise as he looked closer and saw a collar around Dipper's neck as well.

"Oh really?" He said as he began to chuckle, making both Dipper and Pyronica nervous.

"Y-yes, really, I've even been training him."

"Well in that case, I think I'll be nice, I'll even give him a little reward to help you too get a closer bond." He said as his left hand began to glow as he moved it towards Dipper.

"Hey! What are you gonna do to me?" Dipper shouted as he struggled to get free.

"Oh, just giving you a little gift Roger." Bill said before pushing his hand against Dipper. Dipper's whole body lit up like his flames before he pulled it back. "There we go, now you're immortal."

"Wait what!? I'm immortal?!" Dipper shouted in disbelief.

"Yup! Now Pyronica can keep an eye on you for eternity." He said as he tossed Dipper back to a now happy Pyronica. "Have a good time, 'Roger'."

"Yay! Did you hear that Roger? We can be together forever now!" Pyronica said happily to him as he paled.

'Oh crap.' He thought as Pyronica began to pet his head.