A/N: Not much Red and Lizzie in this. They are both contemplating the turn of events. Thanks for the reviews and follows. It is greatly appreciated.

Chapter thirteen

He squeezed her hand. He was grateful for her words. It lifted some weight from his shoulders. Before he could say or do anything he heard Abby's small voice. He didn't want to leave Lizzie, but he had to. As he approached the bedroom he could hear Abby calling out for her father. It happened more often that he wanted to admit that she woke up, calling for her father. And every time it happened, it tore at his heart.

"I'm here sweetie." He said as he quickly walked up to the bed and gathered her in his arms. She immediately calmed down and put her little arms around his neck. "Why don't we go and see Jethro?" He said, trying to distract her.

Abby nodded and let her uncle carry her to the living room where Jethro was still lying on his rug. Red sat her down on the ground and watched her go to the dog who lifted his head to see who was disturbing him. Lizzie joined them in the living room. She watched how Abby sat down next to Jethro and started petting his head. The silence was interrupted by Red's phone. Lizzie decided to give him some privacy and turned back into her kitchen. The only words she caught was Angela and that he would be right there.

"I'm sorry, Lizzie. I have to go." He apologised as he walked into the kitchen with Abby.

"It's okay. I understand."

"I'll be back tomorrow, okay?" He held her eyes a moment longer to see if she believed him.

Lizzie nodded. "Bye, Abby. It was nice meeting you."

"Bye miss Lizzie."

She watched them leave her house. Jethro walked up to her and put his head against her hand. He wanted attention. Lizzie opened the back door, walked out onto the porch and sat down in her rocking chair.

Red's words had quite an impact on her. On the one hand she was glad he'd explained why his time with her was limited. She even understood and the reason also saddened her. But part of her didn't like it. She realised that was selfish, but they had such a long road ahead of them and they could only get there if they could really give whatever they had a chance. If they were to succeed both of them needed to be all in. Neither of them was there yet, but she knew she would get there. She wondered if Red knew too. The obligation he felt weighed heavily on his shoulder and he wouldn't be able to push it aside. After being apart for a year she wanted his whole attention. She even needed it. Yes she was still dealing with a lot and yes she was still struggling with his presence back in his life. But she assumed they would have time and apparently their time was limited. Rationally she knew she had to give him space but her heart had different ideas. She wanted him to herself.

She ran a hand through her hair and laid her head back against the chair. She had to support him. He needed her. That much was clear. She wanted to help him through this. Red wasn't one to ask for help and he hadn't even in so many words. Why was it, now that their situation had gotten even more complicated, she was more willing to admit her feelings for him? Not to him, no she wasn't ready for that. But she did want him. She didn't quite know how to handle her conflicting feelings. Knowing she wasn't going to solve anything today she closed her eyes and tried to relax.

Lying in his bed, Red looked up to the ceiling, hoping there would be the solution of the predicament he was in. His mind was all jumbled. It frustrated him. He was glad he'd seen Lizzie today but there was just too much left unsaid. He'd already put Lizzie through so much and now it seemed like he was making matters worse. She deserved all of him and he wanted to give her all of him. But he couldn't and he didn't know how long it was going to take before he could. Nor did he know how long Lizzie was going to wait. He couldn't let Lizzie down but he also couldn't let his brother down.

In his nightmares both his brother's family and Lizzie would cry out for his help and it always ended with him failing them both. It was a realistic scenario. He was trying so hard to prevent that from happening that he sometimes thought he was accelerating the process even more. That no matter what he tried the outcome would always be that he'd lose them both. Lizzie's words of support meant a lot to him but he didn't want her to feel obligated nor did he want her to carry another burden. He felt like this was his burden, and only his to carry. She'd already dealt with too much. Though she was doing better, he knew and saw that she was still struggling with it all. He saw that she needed him, but was afraid to say so, probably because she thought he'd run away again. Sometimes she would look at him as if she still didn't believe he was there. There was also still a sadness in her eyes that hurt him.

Then there was also Angela. She was still hurting and trying so very hard to get on with her life. Around Abby she tried to stay strong and often succeeded, but as soon as Abby was gone she would often break down. She was clinging to him as if he was the only one who could keep her afloat. Since this week she'd finally started working again. Only a few days a week and only for a few hours, but it was a start. Yet she seemed to depend on him completely and he couldn't tell her it was too much. He'd also noticed that it seemed like she was dealing with misplaced affection towards him. She kept seeking him out physically, always looking for his closeness and touch. He had to rebuke her but didn't know how and so for now he let her. If this was going to continue he knew he had to reject her and it was something that was only going to add to her pain even if her feelings for him were misplaced. He didn't want to be the bad guy yet as some point he was going to have to. Lizzie was too important to him to not be clear with Angela. He turned on his side. The ceiling unfortunately hadn't brought him any answers. He hoped to get some sleep tonight and hoped sleep would bring him some much needed answers. He really didn't know how to get through this.

TBC...