Disclaimer: Ya know, I just finished watching the Red Hood and I was reminded of how awesome DC's universe is. I guess that's why I write stories based on it. Now if I could write for them (which I don't) I'd get some money with this. Still poor. Owning nothing sucks.

Well good news! Finally got that scene I've been asking for help on done! Compiled of different ideas people gave me actually so it should work out quite well. So now just gotta push through a couple fight scenes to get back to daddybats. =P I take it a lot of people like that more than all the introspective stuff I do, plus torturing a certain bird.

Now to expand on the last line I wrote in the last chapter.

Without Me

Ch. 12 – It Matters to Me

When Dick woke up that morning and found J'onn eating Cookie Crisp for breakfast, he couldn't help but smile. So the Martian would be his sitter that day. He couldn't imagine sparing with the man, but he didn't think the Martian would stop him from running around the cave freely. He didn't have to physically be there to keep an eye on him. Martian psychics rocked that way.

"So," Robin started, pulling some eggs and milk out of the fridge, "what's the news? Will I be going home today?"

J'onn took his time chewing his cereal before swallowing and answering. By the time he opened his mouth, Robin was halfway through the French toast prep work. He'd had enough cereal to last his cravings for a while. "It is unlikely, but we are trying a different method today."

The kid smirked knowingly as he fired up the pan. "Called in the magicians eh? Sweet. So can I watch or do I have to stay out of the way the whole time?"

J'onn shrugged. "Stay on hand I suppose. We won't know for certain what to do until after he arrives."

"So it's okay if I wander around the cave on my own then?" Robin tried to spin it his way as he cracked open the eggs and mixed them with some milk. "You can call me back in an instant. Not like I've got anywhere else to go. And I bet the exits are all locked down anyway."

The Martian gave him a good long look before answering. "Maybe. The others told me it'd be wise to watch you on the 'parallel bars'. Something about spotting?"

Robin gave a long sigh. "Yeah I guess so. Oh, a spotter is someone who's there in case I slip and fall. They can call for medical help. Usually a good idea to have one. Just used to like a million cameras being around so I don't usually have one."

The boy finished putting the ingredients together and started dipping the bread into the egg mixture before putting it onto the hot frying pan. The Martian watched him cook in curiosity. "I see. I wondered what they were talking about. If I may ask, what exactly are you making?"

The boy wonder stopped then looked to the sky as he let out a breath. "Seriously, am I like the only person you know who makes French toast? You asked me the same question two years ago."

"French toast?" J'onn cocked his head in curiosity.

"Its bread fried in an egg mixture," Robin explained, again. "You can add milk, cheese, seasoning or whatever you like. Alfred puts paprika on it after it's been cooked. My mom put milk in the eggs and my dad put lots of maple syrup on top. I used to put tons of powdered sugar on it after, then Alfred hid the sugar. Still can't find it, but I know he has it somewhere." It was the greatest mystery Robin couldn't solve, and Bruce would never tell him.

"I was not aware Batman enjoyed maple syrup."

Robin took a deep breath before responding, flipping his breakfast first. "No, Bruce usually doesn't do syrup. He pretty much eats it plain. He's not my dad."

Confusion entered the Martian's voice. "But the other night, you thought—"

Panic started surging in the boy's chest. Crap. Did he have to read his mind back then? He jerked his eyes up at the Leaguer, not sure how to explain their relationship. "Look, I've never called him 'Dad', 'Father' or anything else like that. He's Bruce. Just Bruce. When I say Dad, I'm talking about my birth father."

"But your thoughts—"

"I know what I thought." He looked away, really unsure what to say to the Martian. J'onn in his world wouldn't have brought it up, but he knew Robin since he was eleven. "It's just… it's complicated. Alright, it's complicated. Our relationship…" How could he explain it? How could he explain how the two of them were together? All the things they've gone through, all the things they've done, everything that happened. "It's just complicated."

Martian Manhunter watched Robin for a minute, not saying a word. The boy was grateful for the silence and focused on making his breakfast. The piece was starting to burn, and with the pan finally hot, the rest would cook faster. Quickly, ignoring his burning ears, he put the toast on a plate and slapped the next readied piece on the pan. It was nearly done cooking when the Martian spoke again.

"Would it help if you let me see into your mind and showed your memories on your complicated relationship?"

Wide eyed, Robin stared at the green man before him. Would it help? The man just asked if he could look at every private moment he had with Bruce, all the good and bad times they've gone through. That was five years worth of memories. Five years! How could he let this man go through five years worth of his life? Each memory was precious.

Well maybe not the ones of him getting beaten to a pulp. He was pretty sure those weren't any good for him. And the ones of him being drugged. He could live without those. What about all those memories of being a prankster and getting punished for the tricks he pulled? How would that affect things?

It was the smell of burning eggs that brought Robin back to the now. Quickly he took the bread off the pan and poured the remaining egg onto the pan to cook it. There wasn't enough to coat a third piece. As he scrambled it, he thought over the offer again. Let J'onn into his head to see what his relationship was with Bruce so he could possibly tell the League and get them to stop coming up with a different idea, or letting him make his own assumptions from bits and pieces?

"It is alright if you do not want me to—"

"Fine," Robin mumbled. "But only a gloss over. Don't go too deep. You're asking for five years of my life. And only memories relating to Bruce, got that? And don't ever bring up specifics with others. It's all personal."

Personally, Robin couldn't believe he was going to let him in his mind willingly. Surface thoughts were as far as Bruce allowed M'gann or J'onn to see. Once he let M'gann go back six months in his head, but he had no idea what happened during that timeframe. Stupid evil psychic. Though here it didn't matter if J'onn knew everything about him, it was still his mind and he wanted some secrets kept secret.

The Martian nodded respectfully and Robin returned his attention to breakfast. He turned off the heat and scooped up the eggs onto his plate. While J'onn's eyes glowed, Robin felt certain memories surface in his mind, and he personally focused a memory with Alfred. It kept him from thinking of the other secrets he had.

As he ate, the Martian's probing continued, lingering on particular memories of him as Dick Grayson. Memories of being a somewhat normal child with Bruce being a normal man, those rarer ones where no training was involved and nothing had to do with crime fighting. Robin glanced up at the Martian, annoyed and embarrassed. "I said a gloss over. They're personal."

J'onn stopped. "You can tell?"

"Duh. I've been trained by the Batman. If he can tell, I can. He focused on defense in training more than anything else. And I've worked really hard over the years keeping secrets." Robin finished up his small meal, glad he made just enough this time. "Never know when a small slip up will put him or the League in danger."

"So you are always on guard?" The boy shrugged, nodding slightly in response. "Hence the sunglasses."

Robin gave another sheepish shrug. "Don't they look cool?"

"It must be difficult." Manhunter gave him a disapproving look, one the boy was used to receiving. "To constantly be on guard—"

"It's not as hard as it looks and really I don't mind it. If I can be of any help, it's worth it." Half of that was a lie, and he knew the Martian would pick it up, but what else could he say? He promised Bruce he'd keep their secret until he gave the OK. Robin hadn't even told Wally or Roy who he was, and they were his best friends. But this was the cost for this life. Absolute secrecy in exchange for the protection of others.

"A child like yourself should not have to be on guard like this." The firmness in the man's voice was one Robin knew well, and did not want to fight against again. "You should be able to walk down the street without fear."

"Try living in Gotham some time."

"You should not be swinging from rooftops facing psychotic murderers."

That was it. It was one thing to tell him he shouldn't follow Bruce anywhere and follow his ridiculous rules. It was another to try and convince him to give up being Robin. Instantly he was on his feet, tightly controlling his emotions to stop himself from lashing out. He couldn't fully control the fury in his voice though. "I'll be in the gym."

"Robin," Manhunter started but he couldn't stop the boy from walking out the door. Though with his powers he could have, if the man had any common sense, he knew he shouldn't. Robin needed to calm down. Taking his identity, his freedom under that mask, was one thing he'd never allow.

When J'onn finally joined Robin in the gym, it was to see him flipping through the air in his usual routines. Dick added martial arts moves to it this time, imagining he was back in the Gotham slums beating up thugs like always. He quickly caught the bar as he fell from the sky and did a series of turns as he mentally pummeled Two-Face's body. Clayface would have been good too, but getting that particular psycho always felt satisfying.

The acrobat purposely ignored the Martian, not quite ready to forgive him yet. Years ago he had to prove to the League he was more than capable to keep up with Batman. He chose this life for himself, not just because of Bruce. He wanted to go out and save people. He loved fighting the good fight. Flying through the air to catch the bad guys was more fun than playing basketball. Course if he played any games with the League or his friends, it could be just as good, but only barely. Being Robin was the best thing in the world.

Proving it once was bad enough. Now he had to prove it a second time? "Can't I just go home?" he muttered to himself, still upset.

The Martian could tell he wasn't wanted there at the moment, and he left after twenty minutes. Dick knew he'd be watching on monitors or mentally scanning the area to make sure he didn't do anything bad, but he didn't care. He didn't need a sitter, and despite knowing J'onn meant well, he really didn't want him around at the moment. Maybe in a few hours?

It was about an hour and a half later when Dick had an unwelcomed mental intrusion again. It was an expected one of course, but the timing was inconvenient. He was getting ready to strip down for a brief shower. 'Robin, your presence is required in the main hall.'

'10-4,' Dick immediately responded, a touch of annoyance in his message. 'Just give me 15 to freshen up.' It wouldn't take that long to clean up and get dressed, but he was still upset at the Martian.

Whether he realized it or not, Robin dragged his feet over to the main entrance hall. As much as he wanted to get home, he really didn't want another Leaguer to tell him not to be himself. J'onn only said what was on all the other people's minds and it irked him to no end. Who were any of them to say he couldn't be Robin? What did they even know about him? All they knew about him was what he told them, and pretty much all he talked about were his friends and his missions.

So what did they know about him?

Mentally he recounted everything he said before. He was dead in their world. In his, he survived his parents and grew up in a circus (the only piece of information Robin was sure Batman told them). Bruce took him in when he was eight. When he was nine he became Robin. Batman trained him. He was a professional acrobat. He had a team of child heroes, all his friends, most of them super-powered. He skipped two grades and was over all a kind of genius. He would hunt down people for friends' Christmas presents. He pulled pranks on different League members and knew his way very well around the mountain.

"Did I miss anything?" Robin asked himself out loud. Come to think of it, as he counted down the list, there was little telling them about his personality. They did know he had a sense of humor and liked pulling pranks. But they didn't know exactly how stubborn he was. At least not yet. You can't really tell someone you're stubborn, they have to learn it themselves.

Hopefully this J'onn was well on his way to learning this by now. Nothing entered his mind unless he let it, and he wasn't going to budge on being Robin. It was his choice, no one else's.

Robin nodded his contentment before entering the main hall. First Leaguer he saw was Martian Manhunter, but it didn't take him long to see Zatara. It was the third body in the room that floored him.

"ZATANNA?"

A/N: Didn't see that one right? Well maybe you did. I've said before Dick had no influence on Zatanna's life. Zatara had a daughter long before Bruce took in Dick. What path she takes has absolutely nothing to do with Robin. Hence why she's a safe one to bring into this story. =D I'm a Dick/babs fan myself, but until babs has a more constant spot in earth 16, I can only work with Rob/Zatanna. No real romance going on, just somewhat childish teasing/flirting, plus a little comfort later on. You'll see.

So, now Dick's gotta prove to the League he's a hero again, and that he can't be stopped. He's gotta prove he's a hero, because it matters to him. I kinda like how J'onn's eating cookie crisp and asking Dick what French toast is. Basically gave you a simple recipe too. Enjoy!

Now I'm gonna watch the best superman movie I've ever seen, the one where he dies. Go doomsday! XD