Now for something completely different...

I have this awesome friend, Taylor King, if you haven't read her stuff, you're missing out. Anyway, it's her birthday, so I wrote this piece up for her! Happy Birthday, Susan, and I hope you have a good day!

Something was different, though she had no idea what. She'd noticed it the moment she woke up, but all she could sense was that something was off, with literally no idea what it could be or how bad it was. Forcing herself out of bed and into the bathroom, Regina got ready in a hurry so she could find out what was going on.

She'd headed into town, parking in front of the police station and heading inside. Emma and David were both already working, so she walked up to them purposefully. "Have you guys seen anything strange today?"

"Hello to you, too," Emma grumbled. "And no."

Rolling her eyes, Regina sighed. "I'm sorry I'm not in the mood to make idle small talk when something is wrong with the town."

Emma's eyes widened, eyebrows raising. "What's wrong with the town?"

"I don't know. But there's something off in the atmosphere, something… dark, maybe."

"All right, Dad and I will go on a patrol, I guess."

David stood, nodding and looking between the women. "Do you think it's-"

"No," Regina answered, cutting him off. "No way, we put up wards, using tons of shielding magic. It's not possible."

"All right, keep your phone on and we'll be in touch if we find anything," he answered, nodding toward the doorway.

Just then, Ruby walked in looking relieved. "Oh good, you're both here."

"What's up?" David asked.

"Some guys was looking for Regina and Emma. Or maybe one or the other. I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know, Wolf?" Regina snapped. "Did you recognize him? Who did he want? What did he say?"

She shrugged. "He asked who the boss in town is, and I told him the mayor or the sheriff and he just walked away and got in a pick-up truck and drove off. I think he's from outside. He smelled… different."

Regina pursed her lips, her brows stitching together in concern; that shouldn't be possible, one had to know Storybrooke existed to be able to cross the townline. "Okay. We'll go separate ways. First thing we're looking for is a truck, something out of place." She looked to Ruby. "What did he look like?"

"Like a tall, dark, and handsome wet dream."

"Right, that's helpful," David grumbled.

"You would know how to spot one," Ruby joked. "Don't you think, Regina?"

Tipping her head to the side in a joking act of checking him out, she shrugged, "Maybe if he wasn't allowed to talk."

"Funny." David heaved a sigh, shooing her out of the station.


Regina searched for hours. She drove around to all the places in town she thought someone trying to hide would go, but she found nothing. Finally, when she was just about to give up, heading home to eat and feed Henry so she could take a break, she saw the truck. It was parked outside of her house, and she narrowed her eyes suspiciously as she pulled into the driveway.

Getting out of her car, she made her way down the path to the street, approaching the passenger side of the truck and looking in through the open window. Dark and handsome was right, she couldn't gauge his height with him sitting though, but she was willing to bet if Ruby thought he was tall, she would, too. Still, she felt unease spread through her at the sight of him. "Who are you and what are you doing in my town?"

He looked over at her, giving her a smile that nearly made her skin crawl. His gray scruff accentuated the whiteness of his teeth, and despite the allure of his physical features, she had a feeling this was not a man she wanted to be around for too long. He didn't answer her, not until he'd gotten out of the truck, rounding the front until he was standing beside her. Regina turned to look up at him, suddenly feeling very small physically, but she tilted her chin up defiantly and arched an eyebrow.

"You know, that doesn't sound like the kind welcome a mayor should give a visitor to town." There was that smile again, too, but he put his hand out. "Negan." He bent three fingers so his index finger was pointing at her, his hand shaking slightly as he did. "And you must be Mayor Mills. Well goddamn. You are not what I was expecting."

"Again, why are you here?" she pressed, giving him a forced, closed mouth smile and narrowing her eyes to show she wasn't interested in formalities.

"Oh, you are adorable," Negan answered, a small chuckle following the words. "You're in charge? Maybe I should go find the sheriff, someone a little…" he cupped his hand down at his waist, smirking, "you know, more of a leader."

Rolling her eyes, Regina straightened her spine and folded her arms over her chest. "This is my town. You'll find nobody here more powerful than me, now tell me what you want with my town."

"I want the whole thing. I like this town, it's cute, and my men and I… well we want it, somewhere like this, somewhere uncorrupted. Interesting, don't you think, that your town is unaffected?"

She knew he was talking about the zombies, which she and Emma had put a protective barrier against. What Regina still didn't understand was how he knew about Storybrooke. "I don't think it's all that interesting, actually. You're not getting my town, you're not even coming to join us, there's no room. You can leave now."

"I'll make the fucking room. All it takes is a few words, a little rhyme, and my lady, Lucille. Yeah. So, Madam Mayor," he answered, leaning in with that shit-eating grin again, "you'll see there's no goddamn point trying to argue it." He leaned back, chuckling again. "Would you like to meet my lady?" Negan asked, pointing to the passenger door.

Stepping aside to give him room, Regina eyed him cautiously. She wondered if he had a gun, not that she would be afraid of that, she could use magic against a gun easily. When he opened the door and reached in, pulling out a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire, her eyes widened momentarily and she smirked. "You think I'm afraid of that?"

"Well Jesus Christ, I don't intend to scare you with it." He bent his neck, closing the space between them more than she was comfortable with. "Do you want to touch her? But you gotta be nice. She's a lady."

Regina's lip curled into a snarl. "You have until tomorrow to leave. In fact, I'll see you out of town myself. You can stay at the Inn, but if you touch a single hair on any citizen's head here, I will burn you to dust."

"Oh ho! You got fucking fire. I like that. Goddamn. All right then, we'll discuss this tomorrow. But I think you'll see my side of things."

Regina waited until he'd gotten into his car and driven toward downtown before she went into the house to tend to Henry and call the others over.


They had Emma and David watching the Inn, where he had indeed checked in for the night. Regina knew it had to be her who dealt with him. He was as dangerous as he was gorgeous, she could tell that just by his weapon of choice, something that brought a lot of pain instead of a quick death, so for now her main goal was to make sure he didn't leave his room until it was time for her to see him out of town.

They'd patrolled the whole night while Regina stayed with Henry to make certain he was safe. She wouldn't have this Negan character coming back to her house and threatening her child to try to get his way. So when morning came, David and Henry went to Gold's shop, and Emma waited outside the Inn to make sure she was there in case Regina needed back up. The brunette headed up to the second floor where the rooms were, going to the door for his room, thankful that Ruby had given her the information.

Knocking on the door, she waited a moment until the he opened it, less put together than the previous evening when she'd met him. He was standing there in his pants, a plain white tee, and his boots, but his hair wasn't slicked back like it had been the night before, and he seemed less intimidating without his leather jacket.

"Well goddamn," he said, looking her frame up and down. "Aren't you a pretty little sight in the morning."

Rolling her eyes, Regina folded her arms over her chest. "I'm here to follow you out of town. You can take a couple minutes to finish dressing yourself, but then I'm going to force you out."

Negan scoffed a small chuckle, shaking his head. "And just how the fuck do you think you can do that?"

She shoved him back into the room, out of the doorway, then stepped inside and shut the door behind her. Regina held her ground, tilting her chin up to look at him. "Oh in ways you can't even comprehend. I can do things you wouldn't even believe. I can do things to you that have made stronger men cry," she hissed.

He did it again, though, found a way to challenge her that made her immediately regret not using magic just to get rid of him the night before. "Fuck. Here I was, thinking you were willing to discuss your town, but it sure as shit seems to me you're talking about something else. Something… more enjoyable."

Narrowing her eyes, she answered with, "You have ten minutes to get your things and get into your truck, otherwise you'll see what I can do." Regina turned to leave, grabbing the door handle and beginning to twist it, but his hand was on her shoulder before she could open the door.

"No. That's not how this works."

She turned to look at him, one eyebrow raised as she let her arms drop to her sides, trying to control her temper in the face of this outsider. "Yes it is. You will leave, you will never come back. Am I clear?"

"Fucking clear as mud." He laughed, shaking his head. "Thing is, I've fucking done this before. I'll come back with my men and everyone here will practically beg us to take their goddamn houses from them. Jesus Christ, do you really think you can stop us?"

Regina raised one hand, cupping it in the air in the shape of his neck. She snarled, squeezing her hand, resulting in him being choked with magic. His eyes widened when he realized she wasn't actually touching him, therefore giving him the knowledge that she had a power he hadn't expected. When she thought he had enough, she relaxed her hand and released her magic, watching him gasp in a breath. When he recovered, he let out another dark chuckle.

"I guess I'll go." He stepped in close to her, backing her towards the door and taking her face in his hand, fingers holding her jaw as he dipped his head. "Fucking shame, too. You'd have made a good fucking addition to my collection of super hot wives."

Maybe it was the fact that she knew she'd never see him again, and he was incredibly gorgeous, with that bit of danger that wasn't threatening to her, so it was sexy and the way he stood and talked with so much authority turned her on a little. With the knowledge that once he left, he wasn't coming back, Regina slapped his hand away from her face and then reached up to slide her fingers into his hair, gripping the top of it roughly and pulling him down into a hard kiss.

It didn't take him long to respond, instead he kissed her back roughly, slamming her body against the door. A little thrill of pleasure ran through her. This was one way she could scratch that itch and not have to do so with anyone in town. She bit down on his bottom lip, dragging her teeth over it, hands automatically moving to his waist to pull him closer. Regina groaned when he took the opportunity to press his hips against her and move his mouth roughly along her jaw.

She pushed up his shirt, pulling it over his head as he stepped back a moment to allow it. He moved his hands under her arms and around to her shoulders, gripping either side of the zipper at the back of her dress. Instead of unzipping it, he pulled the dress apart, ripping it along the seam of the zipper and then shoving it down her body.

He licked his lips when he saw her body. "Fucking hot," he groaned, shoving down her underwear next and slipping his hand between her thighs, finding her clit quickly to work her up. While he did that, she moved her hands to his belt, doing away with it and shoving down his pants. She didn't have the time or patience for foreplay, but she wanted it hard and fast, so she needed him ready.

Regina pushed her hand into his boxers, wrapping her fingers snugly around his cock and pumping him a few times until he was fully hard. She was about to push him back to the bed, but he gripped her hips and lifted her up, slamming her back against the door once more. Moving one hand between them, he gripped his cock and lined himself up to her, thrusting in quickly.

She cried out at the welcome intrusion, wrapping her legs around his hips and moving her hands to grip his upper arms, nails biting into his skin as he began pounding into her. There was no working toward it, no taking it slow and easy, and it was everything Regina had been needing. Negan bent his neck, catching her lips in a rough kiss and meeting her tongue with his own. He pinned her more firmly between his body and the door, one hand under her ass while he moved the other to the door beside her head.

"Yeah. Fuck yeah," he breathed, squeezing her ass in his hand. Bringing his hand from the door to cover one of hers, he led her hand down between their bodies and pushed her fingers to her clit. Regina took the hint; he wasn't going to do anything more than fuck into her hard and fast, and if she wanted to come, that part would be up to her. She didn't care, only focused her attentions on circling her clit rapidly, matching the quick pace of his hips. The hand she still had on his arm scratched down along his bicep, leaving red trails in the wake of her nails.

He dipped his head, biting the side of her neck roughly, his beard scratching her skin deliciously as he did so. He switched to sucking, letting his teeth graze against her every time he moved to a different spot of her neck.

It didn't take much longer before her body was tensing, walls tightening around him, and she cried out louder than she should have, but it had been so long that she couldn't be bothered to care. He followed shortly, thrusting into her three more times before he grunted fuck and lowered her to the ground. She panted a few breaths, picking up her underwear and pulling them back on. She examined her dress and glared at him.

"Have fun getting home without clothes." He smirked, fixing his boxers and pulling his pants back up.

Regina simply returned the smirk, waving her hand over the dress so it was back on her body and fully repaired. Despite having choked him with magic just moments ago, he looked at her in surprise, making her chuckle darkly and take a step closer. "Do I have to tell you again that you'll go and never come back, or are we crystal clear now?"

Negan recovered, nodding, but picking up Lucille from the dresser top. "Guess so." So, when he finished dressing and gathering his things, Regina followed him in her car, and Emma followed in the police cruiser until the pickup truck crossed the townline. Then they worked magic to re-secure the border so nobody could make it through at all.