Disclaimer: I still don't own Blue Bloods or Glee and I quite frankly don't think I ever will.
So here's Nationals at last!
Enjoy!
Chapter 15: Pretending
Rachel found her club mates rather easily and it wasn't even a little bit surprising when she came close to say hello to them, they didn't even looked at her, only Kurt asked "-Where were you?-" She answered "-I was with detective Reagan, didn't you read my note?-" Kurt just shook his head. Mr. Schue was a complete different story, as soon as he saw detective Reagan he started shouting "-Why did you take her without telling me?! She's my responsibility no matter what! I really don't care what kind of trouble she's in, she was supposed to be here with the rest of the club for registration if she had missed it…-" Danny interrupted him in a very calmed voice"-Did she miss it?-" half of him wished she had, then he could take her and not endure this brand new (at least to him) form of torture, "-No she didn't, but if she had…-" Danny interrupted again "-Well excuse me if I fail to see the problem-" Mr. Schue's only response was a huff.
The time before the presentation went on by very fast, the gleeks practiced a couple more times but everyone was sending death glares at Rachel, she tried her best to ignore them she was more concerned with the Reagans, they seemed to be on edge for some reason, Erin kept making phone calles while carefully eyeing Danny, Jaime was looking around as if trying to grow eyes in the back of his head and Danny never went further than a few steps from her. At 10 am Rachel went to the bathroom for the umpteenth time since arriving to the venue, Danny and Jaime followed her to the door and Erin went in with her, while Rachel was waiting for Erin to finish her business, she stared at herself on the mirror, she looked tired and wary, she also felt drained, not of energy, of that she had plenty of, it somewhat felt as if she had aged several years in the past two days and something about the conversation she overheard bother her, she didn't quite put her finger on why it bother her but one sentence kept playing in her mind *It doesn't matter because this is no going to trial* she knew that was an important sentence but she didn't know why.
Erin's phone rang interrupting her inner turmoil she looked at Erin who with her eyes told her not to go out until she had finished and went to the back of the room to pick up the call. Rachel heard someone hurling in the nearest toilet and assuming it was Santana she opened the door, to her surprise it was Sunshine Corazon, she looked terrible and Rachel felt guilty about the way she had treated her, so she apologized to her it might be the last time she could do it. Erin finished her call and with a tired look said to Rachel "-Let's go-" Rachel followed her out of the bathroom with a lighter conscience.
Soon the starting of the competition was announced Rachel felt the usual lurch of the stomach but paid no attention to it she was used to it, Danny on the other hand was nervous not because of the competition but he knew the assassin was near, Danny knew he could never pass on an opportunity like this, an opportunity to get attention and leave the NYPD looking like idiots but still he couldn't go asking his father for reinforcements after all part of his plan was to keep all this a secret as long as it could be possible but with the intervention of Erin and Jaime it was kinda hard, the best he could do right at the moment was prepare for the attack he was sure was coming.
The first group performing was an all girls choir singing Yeah! By Usher, Rachel liked the vocals but hated the dance it was too over the top, the next three groups were even worse she wondered why these groups were in the nationals she couldn't think of another reason than bribery, she could feel Danny stiffing laughs, she could even hear Jaime saying in hush tones "-They ruined that song-", "-Dear lord not another Broadway tune-" and "-are you freaking kidding me-" Erin just kept answering her phone but she looked pretty annoyed Rachel caught her rolling her eyes a couple of times, when Vocal Adrenaline took the stage Rachel smiled brightly at Sunshine Danny leaned over and whispered "-I thought that this was a competition -" Rachel nodded and said "-I'm glad I got to apologize to her, that's all-" Danny watched the rest of the song with a hint of a smile on his face Rachel glanced at him in the high parts of the song, he recognized the girl on stage as a good singer but he had heard Rachel the night before and she was definitely better
Mr. Schue walked by and said in a very cold tone "-we're up in five-" Rachel got up and looked at Danny and said "-I think it might be safer if you stay in the audience-" Danny nodded but still said "-Erin should go with you-" Rachel didn't know if Erin was a police woman, but above all she trusted Danny, so she nodded and turn to follow the glee club, Erin follow them, when they arrived at backstage Mr. Schue looked at Erin weirdly but said nothing Erin just hung in the back and heard the most clichéd motivation speech she'd ever heard, it was full of phrases like *If we can dream it, we can do it* *Believe in yourselves, have fait in your abilities* *Believe you can and you're halfway there* Mr. Schue finally ended it with a *Never give in and never give up* Erin looked at the kids they were all yawning no one was paying attention.
This was finally it. They were in the stage, behind the curtain Rachel was very nervous she kept eying Finn; he hadn't spoken to her all morning and now he was staring at her very intently, just to break the silence she said. "-You wrote an amazing song, Finn-" she paused for a brief moment then added "-I didn't know you had it in you-" he said somewhat angry "-Who cares about the song? What I don't understand is, all you've ever wanted is for us to be together, and I'm basically standing here begging for you, and suddenly you're not interested-" Rachel was taken aback she didn't know how to answer, she didn't want to break his heart and cause a scene so she lied and said "-I…I am interested…more than interested-" she took a deep breath and continued "-This is my dream, being here in New York, I'm not gonna let anyone or anything keep me from it-" she decided right there to say good bye to him even if he didn't know it, then with a deep sigh "-I'm sorry Finn-" he said in his typical sad and by this point pathetic voice "-I love you-" *You don't know what love is* she didn't say out loud instead she said "-There's nothing you can say or do that's gonna change my mind about it -" they both turned when they heard the announcer say "-And now, from William McKinley High in Lima, Ohio, the New Directions!-"
The curtains opened and the piano started to play they both began to sing *&Face to face and heart to heart/We're so close yet so far apart/I close my eyes I look away/That's just because I'm not okay/But I hold on, I stay strong/Wondering if we still belong&* while they were walking towards each other Rachel knew they didn't belong anymore they've changed over the last few months and she had change much more during the last few days. Then the song when into the crescendo part and they sang *&Will we ever say the words we're feeling/Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls/Will we ever have our happy ending?/Or will we forever only be pretending?&*
Rachel indeed was pretending, she was faking those love eyes for the sake of the performance and she kept fighting the feeling of running away, some part of her brain told her she was such a hypocrite, that she did want a happy ending but her other part rebuff this logic, yes she wanted a happy ending but not right now and not with Finn or Jesse or Puck or anyone she knew, she felt sick to her stomach making Finn believe he had a chance, because she could see it in his eyes, he was getting that sparkle of hope, she only prayed she could explain to him that she wasn't feeling the same before he did something stupid.
The song kept playing but her performance was more mechanic at this point she wasn't even feeling the usual adrenaline, her inner psychic was very aware of everything, something bad was going to happen. *&Keeping secrets safe/Every move we make/Seems like no ones letting go/And it's such a shame/Cause if you feel the same/How am I supposed to know?&* the rest of the glee club came to the stage and they sang in the background *&Will we ever say the words we're feeling/Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls/Will we ever have our happy ending?/Or will we forever only be pretending?/Will we always, always, always be/Will we always, always, always be/Will we always, always, always be pretending?&* During the last par of the chorus Finn kept looking at her more and more intensely and she knew he was going to kiss her and she didn't have time to react.
Rachel kissed him back just for the sake of the presentation and not to seem like a complete diva by walking of the stage, when they broke the kiss off she felt relieved she hadn't felt anything but when she saw the complete and utter confidence in Finn's eyes and she knew she was going to have to break his heart this time without a shadow of a doubt; the upbeat of the next song started and she didn't have time to do anything else than start to dance and sing.
In the audience three guys were reacting to the kiss with a very similar feeling: ANGER. Detective Reagan was feeling murderous, how dare this guy, who two days ago had pretty much thrown her under the bus to save his own skin, kissed her and pretend (ironic) that everything was ok between them, from his spot in the crowd he could see how utterly confused Rachel was, he didn't think she would accept him back, her whole world had changed over night but she still had her goals clear, Danny only hope that boy didn't come near him or he might've face a lawsuit for child endangerment.
A couple of rows front detective Reagan a young man was enraged, his *Official Show Choir Competition Program* was torn in two, he couldn't believe his eyes, that morning he had made the decision to fly to New York on a whim, Rachel hadn't answered his text or calls and Jesse's wild and over dramatic imagination had pictured her in bed with Finn laughing at his romantic texts, so he grabbed a jacket and his credit card and head to the airport the hour and a half on the plane had been hell, and the forty-five minutes from the JFK airport to the National Theater had been pure torture he imagined Rachel death on a ditch somewhere, he arrived in the middle of *Pretending* and excused himself by saying "-Couldn't stay away-" Mr. Schue asked him "-Away from the show or her?-" he didn't answer and just watched, few minutes after he realized he should've stayed in Lima, he was going to kill Finn and his whole life would be ruined.
In one of the balconies the mob man was tearing to little pieces his ticket as the very upbeat and happy song played on the stage, he saw red when the lanky teen kissed his prey, because no one touched his possessions and here he was kissing his next victim, the girl didn't seem to enjoy it but the soon to be dead teen looked like he was on cloud nine, yes he was planning to kill the teen girl but still he felt territorial, she was his and no one touched his things without ending with a joker card on their forehead.
When *Light up the world* ended Rachel went to the lobby, she was confused about the kiss and deep down she felt violated, Finn walked to her and stared at her waiting for her to say something because she always said something, finally she spoke "-I think we were good-" He couldn't contain his emotion and said "-Good? We were amazing-" She did not agree but kept quiet about it, instead she said "-The kiss was…interesting-" Finn almost interrupted her and said "-Yeah, I'm-I'm calling it The Kiss of the Century-" Rachel was about to open her mouth and refute him when she heard very familiar steps behind her and finally the voice she knew belong to their owner "-You're wrong, Finn…That kiss was unprofessional…It was too personal and intense…The judges won't like it…They'll consider it common and vulgar, and it will cost you Nationals-" She knew Jesse was right, of course he was right and it had been too intense and she just knew all their effort had been wasted on a silly impulse of the so-called co-captain, Jesse interrupted her thoughts by saying "-Hi, Rachel!...You look amazing, and you sounded great…Just shouldn't have kissed him-" She couldn't believe he was there and instead of saying anything to defend herself she asked "- Why are you here, Jessie?-" He answered immediately "-For you-" she couldn't think of anything to say.
She felt Finn move from behind her, he stood in front of Jesse and said "-Dude, back off-" Pushing him a little then Finn added "-You're just jealous-" Jesse just stared at him so Finn continued "-Jealous of what we have, and what we shared with the entire audience, because it was shared between two people who love each other-" Finn stressed the word love too much for her liking and honestly if he was trying so hard to defend their love why in God's name had he pushed her only to have a man-off with Jesse, she quickly realized he wasn't interested in her but in winning some imaginary competition against Jesse, Finn was gloating about the kiss and said something like "-It was the Superman of kisses, It-It came with its own cape, right, Rachel?-" Oh, so he knew she was standing right there, she glared at him not answering anything, Jesse took advantage of this and said "-What a lovelyanalogy…But I'm afraid you're pathetically wrong again, maybe you just need to be educated on the accurate definition of an *epic kiss*-" not giving her time to react, he turned around and kissed her full of passion and tongue, Rachel tried to back off but his claw-like hands were keeping her in place and his tongue was invading her mouth like a snake, for the second time in the day she felt violated and abused.
Rachel reacted in a way she never had before and bit him, hard; Jesse backed off and she smack him on the face, spat out and yell "-Stop with all the kissing-" detective Reagan walked towards her and asked "-Are you ok?-" she nodded and said "-I just don't want to be kissed again-" Danny smile a little and said "I can arrest them for assault and lewd behavior" she shook her head, she was about to say something else but Mercedes interrupted saying " What's-What's happening?-" a girl walking by said "-They just posted the top ten for showcase.-" Mr. Schue successfully ignored the love triangle and said "Everybody, gather around! It's a moment two years in the making-" Kurt was a nervous wreck and said "-Okay, what should we do?-" Quinn said "-Let's go look at it together-" Mr. Schue walked up the stairs two at a time saying "- Come on, come on, come on, come on-" Kurt said "-Oh, I'm too nervous to look-" Mr. Schue felt very confident and said "-I'll go-" he looked and looked and couldn't find the New Directions anywhere, he heard Puck very far away saying "-What did we place? –" Santana demanded "-Well, Mr. Schue? Say it…Where did we rank?-" He felt broken hearted and said in a very audible voice "-We didn't…I'm so sorry, you guys…We aren't in the top ten-" Rachel knew it was wrong to feel the way she did but relief flood her entire being.
Author's note: So there you have it, Nationals at last. Sorry for the wait (at least it wasn't a year) but writing it's getting complicated again. I don't have time to do it. I didn't want to leave you in a cliff hanger so I ended the chapter here.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and as always leave a review if you feel like it