Sorry about the delay everyone. I've been busy studying for APs. ;_; And this week is APs, so yeah. I haven't been able to write at all. Time to go grow mushrooms in a closet.

Anyhoo. Thank you anyone who has followed or favorited this story! And super super special thanks to JadeCrispy, Joliegold09, AnimeBestie, and AFandomAuthor for your frickin awesome reviews! :D

Note about this chapter: I am very confused by the timeline. I've been following the manga, but only covering what happens in the anime. And the twins themselves said before the beach that "all we have to do is wait for summer break" so what? And after this is Honey's 3 Bitter Days during Valentine's Day, but there's no way they'd go to the BEACH before February unless they plan on getting hypothermia...

So yeah. I'm just gonna go with the flow. I hope you all will go with the flow with me. :)

Now, hope you enjoy this chapter!

So it was true! That pretty boy is a girl! I should have seen this coming. I just didn't expect her to suck so much at hiding the fact that she's actually a girl. Like really? Just walking around in a dress? Wow.

Ryuu blinked at Haruhi.

"Oh." She stared at her own outfit. "Yeah. I'm a girl."

"But… why?"

"Cause I was born this way?" Haruhi said, tilting her head in confusion from Ryuu's question.

He shook his head. "No, I mean, why are you hosting?"

"Oh, I broke this super expensive vase," Haruhi said. "So I'm paying them back by hosting. Please don't tell anyone."

"Including Emi-chan," the twins said.

"O-Okay." Ryuu gaped at Haruhi. Now that she was in a dress, she really did look like a girl. He was starting to wonder how he hadn't noticed it before. Haruhi's face was so feminine. Her skin was paler than a normal guy's, and her eyes were huge.

She's… cute. Ryuu blushed again.

"Heee." The twins leaned on Ryuu. "Don't tell me you're falling for Haruhi?"

"No way!" Ryuu said, but his cheeks flushed a deeper red. "I just came to check on you. I mean, not me. I came to check for Emi. But I wasn't not worried for you or anything. I mean I do worry but-"

Haruhi giggled. "It's fine. I get it. Emi-chan's still worried about me?"

Ryuu nodded. "Yeah. Um, she wants to talk to you. Through the phone. Is that okay?"

"Of course." Haruhi nodded.

"Okay." Ryuu called Emi and waited for her to pick up. "Hello? Hey Emi, Haruhi's with me right now."

"Okay," she said.

Ryuu handed the phone to Haruhi, who said, "Hello? Emi-chan?"

"A-Ah, hi Fujioka-kun!"

"Hi," Haruhi said, a smile lighting up her face.

Damn she's really cute! No wonder Emi likes her! Ryuu thought as he watched Haruhi talk on the phone.

"Are you okay?" Emi asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"You're not saying that just to make me stop worrying right?"

Haruhi laughed. "No, I'm not."

"What did the doctor say?"

"He said I was fine. I'm really okay, Emi-chan, so please don't worry about me. How about you? It was scary for you too right?"

"Ah, no. I'm fine, Fujioka-kun. I didn't get pushed down a cliff like you did."

"But it was probably still scary."

"Haha, it was scary watching you fall but nothing else."

Ryuu found that he couldn't look away from Haruhi's warm smile. "Okay. That's good. I'm glad you're fine, Emi-chan."

Ryuu knew Emi was red in the face right now. She's a girl right? So why is she so good at flirting with girls? Maybe Haruhi's actually a lesbian? Or bisexual at the very least? No, please tell me that's not true.

"I-I-I'm glad you're fine too!" Emi's voice was loud enough for Ryuu to hear. Haruhi chuckled. "Um, then, I'll see you later?"

"Yeah. See you."

"Bye."

Haruhi handed the phone back to Ryuu, but the twins intercepted and snatched the phone. "Hello? Emi-chan?" Hikaru said.

"Hm, eh?"

"Oi give it back," Ryuu said, holding his hand out.

"Yo Emi," Kaoru said. He leaned on Hikaru's shoulder to speak into the phone. "Get over it already."

"Yeah quit worrying about Haruhi. He's perfectly fine," Hikaru said.

"It's not your fault, okay? You're an idiot if you think that," Kaoru said.

"She's not an idiot!" Ryuu said as his open palm curled into a fist. "Now give me back the phone!"

"Um okay." Emi chuckled. "Thanks, you guys."

Hikaru handed the phone back to Ryuu, but Emi had already hung up. Ryuu frowned and tucked the phone away. "Then I'll be leaving too," he said.

"Eh? You're not going to stay?" the twins asked.

"No. Why would I?"

"You're a host too!" Honey said. "So you could stay with us."

Ryuu shook his head. "No thanks. Bye."

"Bye!" Honey waved with a grin.

"Bye." The twins were less enthusiastic. Haruhi smiled and waved too. Mori just nodded. As Ryuu headed out of the mansion, he wondered where Kyoya and Tamaki had been, and why Tamaki and Haruhi had been fighting earlier.

Whatever. None of my business.

Ryuu woke up to the sound of something clacking. He rolled over towards Emi and found the spot empty.

"Emi?!" He sprang up and saw his twin sitting at the hotel desk with her laptop opened. "Seriously Emi?"

"Keep it down," she said without a glance at him.

Ryuu sighed and rubbed an eye. "Can you come back to sleep?"

"No. Hang on."

He checked the clock. It was four in the morning, and he had no idea how long Emi had been up. "You're not reading manga right?"

She shook her head, still typing away on the keyboard. "I'll go back to sleep soon, so you sleep."

"What are you doing?" he asked. He kicked the blankets off and trudged over to the desk. A word document was opened, covered in lines and lines of text. "What are you doing?"

"Writing." Emi was smiling as if she were reading one of her most favorite yaoi mangas. It was a crooked, delighted grin that still unnerved Ryuu, no matter how many times he saw it. "It's a fanfic, Ryuu! You see, when I saw Mori-senpai holding Fujioka-kun today… I realized! Gosh that pairing would be amazing too!"

"I don't get it," Ryuu said. He could see the hosts' names throughout the document. A lot of Haruhi's, a fair amount of the twins and Tamaki's, and scattered Kyoya's, Honey's, and Mori's.

"It's a love web!" Emi said. Her eyes were shining now. "You see, Tamaki-senpai has a crush on Fujioka-kun. And the Hitachiin twins also have a crush on Fujioka-kun, but they also love each other. So there's a lot of angst between the twins as they try to decide on whether they want to fight each other over Fujioka-kun, or one of them gives up Fujioka-kun for the brother, or they just ditch Fujioka-kun and be together. And then there's Mori-senpai who also has a crush on Fujioka-kun, but he's quiet so he doesn't let it show that much."

Why am I even listening to this?Ryuu sat down on the nearest couch as Emi continued her rambling.

"And then-And then, there's more!"

Of course. There's always more.

"And Kyoya-senpai also likes Fujioka-kun-"

"That's a harem, Emi, not a love web."

"Wait, wait! That's not all!" Her arms flailed as she shushed him. "So Kyoya-senpai also likes Fujioka-kun, but he used to like Tamaki-senpai, like when they were in middle school before he met Fujioka-kun. And so Kyoya-senpai still has some lingering feelings for Tamaki-senpai, and of course Tamaki-senpai doesn't know. And Honey-senpai actually loves Mori-senpai since they were kids, but they're cousins and Mori-senpai kinda like serves Honey-senpai. So Honey-senpai knows that he will never be able to be with Mori-senpai. All he can do is secretly love Mori-senpai, and let no one know about. Waaa, Honey-senpai has the saddest story of them all."

"That's great." Ryuu stood up. "Are you done now? Can we go back to sleep?"

"You sleep!" Emi turned back to her computer screen. "I'm almost done with this chapter!"

He sighed. "Why are you writing this fanfic? Can't you just be satisfied with the idea in your head?"

"No! Gosh Ryuu are you sure you're an otaku?"

He went back to the bed. "Yes. No. I don't know. I don't care." His voice became muffled as he burrowed his face into the pillow.

"Anyway, just the idea isn't good enough. There's no substance to it, you know? So once I finish this chapter, I can start posting it!"

"Post it where?" he said, glancing at her.

Emi stared at him from her seat. "Are you sure you're in the Host Club?"

"Agh, can you stop with that insult already? Is that even an insult?"

"There's a website for the Host Club guests, so you've probably never been on it. But the girls can post pictures of the hosts or what they saw the hosts doing today and fanfics of the hosts! There's a lot of HaruhixTamaki, HaruhixHikaru, HaruhixKyoya, some KyoyaxTamaki. Lots of threesomes. And, of course, the usual ReaderXHost stories."

Oh man. Emi doesn't know Haruhi's a girl. So maybe all the Hosts are interested in Haruhi, since she's a girl. The twins probably do, and that idiot prince… It really is a harem.

Emi watched Ryuu close his eyes and then went back to writing. He could feel himself dozing off to sleep, listening to the hum of the lamp and computer, and the clackity-clacking of Emi's typing.

Ryuu woke up again about half an hour later. Emi was still writing. "Emi, come on," he said. He really wanted to sleep.

"Hang on. Almost done."

He felt himself drifting away again, in and out of sleep. A few minutes later, he woke up when Emi closed her laptop and turned the lamp off.

"Finally," he mumbled.

"Why don't you go sleep in your bed?" she said as she hopped under the covers. "There's another bed right there."

"Mm." He rolled towards her. "Can't."

"What can't? Course you can."

"G'night," he said, already falling asleep.

"Good night," she said.

They soon returned to school. There were a few weeks left before summer break, and Emi just wanted to go see her parents and Chiharu. But since their finals were over, Emi could attend the Host Club once again.

"Where did Fujioka-kun go?" Emi sat with Haruhi's other guests, waiting for the host to appear.

"Oh we sent Haruhi out to get some commoners' coffee," the twins said from where they sat. They were dressed in knight uniforms this time, although Tamaki looked more like a prince. The twins looked more like squires, and Honey… he looked as cute as ever.

I wish Hikaru-kun would push Kaoru-kun down already. Emi thought watching the twins. They flirted with their guests and flirted with each other. Why won't they just kiss already?

Some girls sitting off to the side were griping about Tamaki's cheesy lines. "Pretending to be gallant by repackaging it in those sweet words in their own ineptitude of not being able to preserve his own life," one girl was saying.

"Then which type of words would you prefer?" Tamaki said.

"Yes, if it were me." The door opened, and a young man came in with Haruhi, who was carrying a paper bag full of coffee. "I would never leave her alone. If you're gonna fight, then fight together. If you can't accomplish it, then you should end your life together."

The young man knelt and kissed Haruhi's hand, causing the room to burst into screams. "I vow that I shall never leave your side till the day my life ends," he said.

The whining girls hopped off the couch to join the guy.

"Who-Who is that?" Ryuu said.

"Which one?" Emi said. "The tall guy? The pretty girl? Or the cute one?"

"All of them."

"You're not from Ouran, are you?" Tamaki asked, after a failed attempt to rescue Haruhi out of the three visitors' arms.

"That's right," the tall one said. Then they threw off their Ouran uniforms.

Emi leaned forward in interest. Wow. It's like I'm watching those magical girls transform from their plain school uniform into glittering color-coded outfits in live action! Except, this is way faster and far more practical, and-

"St. Lobelia Academy, 2nd year, Benio Amakusa," said the tall one.

"Same school, 2nd year, Chizuru Maihara," said the elegant, pretty one.

"Same school, 1st year, Hinako Tsuwabuki," said the shorter, cute one.

-I gotta learn how to do that!

"Saint Lobelia Girls Academy's 'White Lily Group,' also known as, 'Zuka Club!'" They posed. They were as dramatic as Tamaki on any given day.

"That was cool," Emi said.

"In what way?" Ryuu said.

Tamaki froze up in shock, while the twins burst out laughing from the club name. Kyoya began escorting the guests out.

"Let's go too." Ryuu grabbed Emi's hand. "While the hosts are still busy, let's scram!"

"You make it sound like we're trying to escape," she said, but picked up her things anyway. "But I kind of want to talk to these people. They seem interesting."

"No no no no no." He shook his head. He could tell from the glint in her eyes that the Lobelia girls had attracted her attention. Maybe it was the fact that they were lesbians and could possibly share Emi's feelings. "If you want yuri, go read some manga!" He pushed her out of the door.

Emi sighed. "You're no fun Ryuu. Do you think I'd switch my crush from Fujioka-kun to one of those girls so quickly?" The door shut, muffling the chatter from the two clashing clubs.

He blushed. How can she admit to a crush so easily? "Sa-Say, Emi, what do you like about Haruhi?" They headed down the hallway.

"He's really cute. He's really nice and gentle and polite. Plus he's smart!" She smiled. "He's just really sweet, you know?"

I feel like I've heard these words before. Ah yeah, that jackass Kei. "But he's a host. There's no way your love will ever be requited," Ryuu said.

"True." Then Emi's smile turned into a smirk. "But you're a host too." She nudged him with her elbow. "You never know what will happen if I hang around long enough."

"Emi! What if someone heard you say that?" he said, glancing around. The hallways were empty though. "What if people targeted you because of that?"

"I think it would have happened already," Emi said.

"Really?"

I wonder how far Lobelia is, Emi thought. Maybe we should have gone to Lobelia instead. It's an all-girls school right? That'd be one quick way to get Ryuu used to being surrounded by girls, but he might have been discovered even sooner.

I want to meet those Lobelia girls again.

Emi's wish was quickly fulfilled. After the last class, when she and "Ryo" were leaving Ouran to go home - the Host Club was cancelled for the day - Emi remembered something.

"Ah! I forgot to give Fujioka-kun the book I said I'd borrow him." Emi stared at the book that had sat the entire day in her bag. "Come on Ryo! I heard he's going to the Host Club today!" She turned around and ran towards Music Room 3.

"Can't you give it to him tomorrow?" Ryuu said, following behind.

"But I promised today," Emi said with a frown.

The doors to the room were open, and it seemed like the entire Host Club was still there. Someone was laughing and saying something about not transferring to Lobelia. Emi turned into the room, and her eyes lit up immediately.

"Traps! Traps! Traps eeeeeeverywhere!" she said, squealing in delight. The Hosts were all in dresses and wigs, except Mori.

Ryuu burst out laughing. "You guys look ridiculous! Nothing like real girls!"

"Exactly!" Benio glanced back at Ryuu to agree with him, but seized up the moment she saw him. Her hand curled into a fist. Her teeth clenched, and her eyes narrowed. "What is this?" She swung her fist at Ryuu, cutting off his laughter.

"Wh-What?" Ryuu jumped back.

"Are you also trying to make fun of women?" Benio said.

"This one is really cute though," Hinako said, cupping Emi's chin in her hand. "You're a first year like me, right?"

"Eh?" Emi froze, snapping out of her otaku daze. She wasn't used to girls flirting with her.

"Sorry, but Emi-chan is our toy," the twins said, grabbing her arms and pulling her away from the Lobelia girls. "What's a trap, Emi-chan?"

As Emi was explaining what a trap was, Benio's face was darkening. "Who do you think you are? Do you think you can so easily duplicate the beauty and purity of a lady?"

"Huh? Huh? What's going on?" Ryuu backed further and further away from Benio, scuttling towards the Host Club.

"You're so obviously a boy!"

Emi jumped, as her attention returned to Benio. "How can you tell?"

Benio jabbed a finger at Ryuu. "How can anyone not tell? He doesn't have the soft, delicate skin like you do. Nor does he have the pure look in your eyes."

Pure look? Ryuu glanced at his sister. Her eyes were still glimmering from encountering so many traps at once. When has Emi ever had a pure look in her eyes? Definitely not when she's reading her manga.

Benio's fist landed on Ryuu's chest. His hands shot up in the air, prepared to surrender. "You are just the example of how much more inferior men are compared to women."

"A-Ah, i-is that so." His voice was a mere squeak now.

"Don't be like this, Princess Benio," Tamaki said with his usual prince smile. It looked weird because of his outfit, wig, and makeup though.

"Shut up you half-blood!"

Tamaki shrank into his depression corner.

"Nonsense, Amakusa-san," Emi said. Her smile was wobbly, and it looked like she putting all effort into smiling. "If guys weren't around, yaoi wouldn't be able to exist, and what would we do without yaoi?"

"What nonsense is she spouting, Benio?" the pretty girl whispered.

"I-I'm not sure either," Benio said. "Excuse me, but what is yaoi?"

Emi's eyes widened. She gasped as a look of horror took over. "You don't know what yaoi is? What world do you live in?"

Benio's jaw dropped open, before she turned and stepped away. "Hmph! Whatever. I will not give up! I swear, I will save you, Haruhi Fujioka, and destroy this Host Club garbage! And-" She pointed at Ryuu. "-I will have you expelled."

Then the three Lobelia girls left.

"I don't like them anymore," Emi said. "I thought they might be nice, fun people, but I guess not."

"If you want nice, fun people," Hikaru said, whispering into her ear.

"Just come play with us," Kaoru said.

"Get away from Emi!"

Ring! Ring!

Ryuu rolled over in his bed. The sound was barely registering in his mind.

Ring! Ring!

He could hear the annoying sound better now. Ryuu's hands moved to search for the source. It wasn't his alarm, since it didn't make such a sound. He found his cell phone lying on the bed stand and grabbed it.

Ring! Ring!

Ryuu pushed himself up and stared at the caller ID. It was anonymous. He quit the call and then dropped back onto the bed.

A few seconds later, his phone started up again. Ring! Ring!

Geh, again? Ryuu snatched the phone up, saw that it was the same caller, and hung up again. Before he could drop the phone, it screamed again.

RINGGGGG!

Who the hell is it?! He finally picked up. "Hello? You better have a death wish, calling me at this time."

"Good morning to you too, Ryuu," a fake, cheery voice said.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Oh? You can't recognize his voice?" a different voice said.

"Ah, it's a Hitachiin twin," Ryuu said.

"What do you mean by 'a' Hitachiin twin?" the second voice said. "Besides, that's not a Hitachiin."

"Ah then it must be the Omniscient Creep," Ryuu said, still half-asleep.

"And who is the Omniscient Creep?" the first voice said.

"What do you want Kyoya?" Ryuu asked.

Hikaru started laughing. "Ahahaha! Omniscient Creep? What kind of name is that?" There was another giggle too, probably a different Host.

Shit. I just said that? Ryuu blinked and rubbed his eyes. Crap. Am I going to be Kyoya's dinner for today? Or did I just make it onto his hit list?

"Anyway." Kyoya cleared his throat. "Tamaki wants to visit Haruhi's home."

"Why would he do that?" Ryuu said. "It's Sunday morning."

"Who would like to come?" Kyoya asked, ignoring Ryuu.

"Of course we're coming," Hikaru said.

"Me too!" This must have been Honey. "I'll bring cake!"

"Okay. What about you Ryuu?" Kyoya said.

"No thanks. You guys go and bother Haruhi. Poor girl." Ryuu laid back down.

"Come, Ryuu," Hikaru said. "If you don't, we'll kidnap Emi-chan."

"As if I'll let that happen. Besides, you guys don't want her to find out that Haruhi's a girl right? And won't Haruhi be in a dress if she's at home?"

The line fell silent.

"Let's hurry up and go, you guys!" Hikaru said.

"Yeah. Bye Ryuu-chan!" Honey said.

And then the line was dead.

The hell is wrong with them?

Reviews are much appreciated! :D Thanks for reading!