A/N: Thank you to all who are hanging in there with me. Though the show has been disappointing me, I still love this ship. I love these two characters and I love writing them. Let's continue loving this great ship. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. Red and Lizzie talk about his desire for her. I believe Lizzie is far from back to her old self and Red needs her to be herself again before they take things any further. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Reviews would be greatly appreciated.

Chapter thirty-four

He fought his first impulse to express the frustration and anger he felt. He knew that if he did Lizzie would retreat and the little steps she was making towards sharing herself and her feelings. "I don't understand, Lizzie." He really didn't. How did she not know how much he wanted her? He took her hand in his and laced their fingers together.

Inching closer to him she cuddled against him, needing his closeness to share her thoughts with him. "You touch me, you kiss me yet you never seem to want more or…" She hesitated, trying to find the right words. "…you never seem tempted. It made me wonder if you maybe didn't want me." She kept avoiding his eyes. It made it easier for her to share her feelings. "I know I lost weight and you want me to gain the weight that I lost. I know I'm nothing special. I'm sure you've seen and been with much more beautiful women. I…. I'm just me." She whispered against his chest.

"Don't say that." His voice was strong yet soft. He worked his jaw, searching for the right words. He needed to be careful because he didn't want to push her away but her words angered him. It felt like he'd failed her and himself.

She felt the anger radiating off of him and pushed herself away from him. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything." She apologised.

Red grabbed her hand preventing her from moving too far away. He pulled her back to him. "Don't apologise. I'm glad you're sharing your feelings. I just don't understand where this is coming from." He rubbed his hand up and down her arm. Lost in thought, still trying to search for the right words.

"I don't want you to be angry." She said. He was trying to hide his anger from her but she could see it.

"I'm sorry." He apologized. He didn't want her to see his anger. The fact that she thought he didn't want her was his fault. He cradled her face in his hands, holding her eyes. His voice was thick with emotion. "You're beautiful, Lizzie. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever known. No one comes close to you." He saw her blue eyes glistening with emotions. He tenderly brushed his lips with hers. "I love you so much. I need you in my life. I can't nor do I want to imagine my life without you."

"But do you want me?" Her voice trembled.

"Yes! I want you with every fibre of my being, Lizzie and have done so for a very long time. When I kiss you I don't ever want to stop. Your body feels so good against mine. When I touch you… I want more, so much more… and it's so hard to stop."

"Why do you stop? Is it because of me?"

He shook his head. He was going to have to talk to her about these insecurities that kept coming back. He didn't understand where they were coming from. At first he thought his faked death was the cause, but now he wasn't sure anymore. It was something deeper. "I want to make to love to you Lizzie and I've wanted to do so for a very long time. Lately that yearning has been getting so much stronger, but I don't want to push. You and I both know that you're still recovering from everything. You're doing so much better but you're not there yet. I want it to be special and I want you to feel that you're ready physically and mentally. I have no doubt that when we make love it will be perfect and hold so much truth that I don't want you to regret it and I'm afraid that when we do this too soon that you will. I won't be able to handle it if you would regret it, regret us."

She understood what he was saying and she could agree with that. Sometimes it seemed he knew her better than she did herself. "You always seem so in control like I don't tempt you."

"You are very, very tempting." Red lowered his voice and saw her shiver. "And it is not easy not to give into to you."

"But I want you to give in. You never get carried away." She said again.

"I can't, Lizzie. I can't because I won't be able to stop." He inched closer to her and started kissing her jaw up to her ear. He took her lobe softly between his teeth before placing a kiss just below her ear. Then he kissed her neck and bit her softly, marking her as his, something he'd wanted to do for a while now. He focused back on her lips, kissing her passionately and deeply. He pulled her towards him, rolling on his back and taking her with him. He held her close with a hand in her hair. He explored her mouth, duelled with her tongue, took her breath away with his heat. He only ended the kiss when they both were in need of air. He grabbed her hips and pushed up a bit, letting her feel what she did to him. "I want you." He growled, leaving her with no doubt about his desire.

She smiled at him. She leaned forward and kissed him softly. "Thank you." Maybe it was strange that she needed his reassurance and needed it in this way, but he seemed to understand like he did with so many things. He made her happy, he made her feel so good. She lay down again and just like before she used him as her pillow. "You make me happy." She said.

Red's arms tightened around her when he heard her words. His heart skipped a beat. She was happy, he made her feel happy. It meant so much to hear her say those words. Keeping her safe and making her happy was so very important to him. To hear her now say those words was something he'd been waiting for. He knew the next step was that she could say to him that she loved him. He would wait patiently for those words though in his heart he already knew that she loved him. "I love you, sweetheart." He kissed her hair. "Sleep, I'm right here."

She kissed his shirt clad chest and lay her head on it. "Goodnight, Raymond."

TBC...