After the Storm Chapter 3: Funeral, a criminal minds fanfic

"I don't think I can go in there," Garcia said staring down the hall of the funeral home. It was a nightmare leading up to this day; she kept wishing that she had dreamt it all but today only verified that this nightmare was true. She stood with Derek and Savannah, a small group formed as they waited for the director to tell them it was going to be okay to go in. She looked around the room, the whole team was there, a few agents from the office and the director all stood around. She focused on her team, they were all broken, and she was not the only one crying. "I don't know if I can go see him."

"Baby Girl, we have to," Derek gave her hand a light squeeze. Truth be told he did not want to go either, seeing his best friend in a casket was a stab to the heart.

"We have to say goodbye," Savannah urged them both.

"I know, I just don't know how to," Garcia spoke through a watery sheen. She looked at the clock, they had to wait until William and Diana Reid arrived. After Rossi told Diana the only one who could calm her was William, he had really stepped up, he stayed with her at her home for a few days before they flew into Virginia. It was quarter after three, the time moved so slowly it felt as if they had been standing in the waiting area for days. Her stomach hurt the thought of seeing her junior G-Man made her sick to her stomach, he was gone and this was it. The doors opened to the funeral home and all eyes settled on Diana Reid and William Reid arriving. It looked as though Diana was semi lucid, she knew where she was and why she was here but with all of them looking at her, her paranoia kicked in.

"I don't know what to say to her, she I talked to Rossi, he said William told him that Diana has been having sporadic episodes."

"Losing your son that mixed with her schizophrenia and the dementia I mean it is bound to happen."

"He took care of her, he was the only one she had left, now what is she supposed to do?" They walked at the funeral director ushered then down the hall, the whole place was silent, it wasn't until a large wail from down the hall sounded that they knew Diana had seen her son in that coffin, seen him and knew that he was gone. Derek felt Garcia's grip on his hand tighten before she finally released it, "I could never imagine the pain she is going though," Savannah whispered under her breath. The rest of the team rounded themselves together, close together, that is where they needed to be at this time.

"Everything is going to be okay," Emily tried to reassure them, she grabbed hold of Garcia and JJ's hands, she gave them a tight squeeze she followed the funeral director to the back. As soon as they stood at the doorway all of them froze, no one wanted to be the first in. They could hear the classical music playing, Garcia had chosen it, it was Reid's favorite, inside Emily had set up a slide show of photos of Reid and the team and more that William had sent while he was with Diana. All of this was too surreal, no one wanted to accept this, all of them just wanted to wake up.

"It' going to be okay," This time it was Rossi who spoke the words, he stepped in front of them and threw the door way, the rest of them followed. Seeing Reid was such a blow to the stomach, he didn't look real, it looked as if someone had carved him from wax. JJ went up first, she held Will's hand tightly as they hugged Diana and wished her their greatest sympathies, Rossi and Emily followed, they waited as JJ cried over her fallen friend, she had taken it the hardest, Rossi knew part of her blamed herself. Will gently pulled her away and out of the room, Garcia grabbed Morgan's hand again, the anxiety building up inside her as she waited for her turn.

"He doesn't even look real," Emily said as she stared at Spencer. It was true as Rossi looked at Spencer it looked like a wax figurine of the man; it was not him. "I cant believe we are here, this whole thing doesn't feel real."

"I know, I keep thinking that this is for someone else in the FBI and he will just show up."

"Spouting off facts about how the Victorian era held funerals."

"Exactly," Rossi let out a light chuckles.

"I really miss him," She looked down one last time, this was the last time she would see him.

"Me too." Rossi ushered her to the next room where Garcia had set up a slideshow. They sat next to JJ and Will and watched as each picture popped up, each a smiling picture of Spencer, some of them when he was younger, others him with the team.

"Remember that one," Emily pointed and smiled at a picture of the team in front of Finish line of Hotch's big race. Penelope, Emily and JJ had their hoodies up and sunglasses on while Morgan, Jack and Spencer cheered.

"I was so hung-over that day; he watched Henry that night and woke up to us stumbling in at like six." That was the first time since the news that any of them had even seen even the littlest of lifts in JJ's mouth.

"He found that one very amusing, he even spouted off a million facts about hangovers at breakfast," Garcia laughed. The next picture popped up this time it was Spencer and Henry, the young boy sat on top of his godfather's shoulders, a large smile on each of their faces; JJ's smile disappeared.

"I still cant believe this," Emily shook her head, staring at the slideshow. Morgan looked over to the adjoining room where Reid lay and was shocked at the visitor.

"Baby Girl," He elbowed her to grab her attention before pointing out the woman going around to the picture frames.

"No, is that really her?"

"Who," Savannah inquired looking at the crowd of people.

"I haven't seen her since she left." JJ stood up, Morgan and Garcia followed.

"Hi stranger," Morgan spoke, the woman turned around her in surprise. She didn't speak instead she was grabbed by Garcia who vice gripped her in a hug.

"Elle Greenway, I cannot believe you are here, we haven't seen or heard from you since left." She pulled her away and gave her a once over to verify the woman was really there.

"Come on the brilliant Penelope Garcia, I know you knew where I was."

"Okay, maybe a little super sleuthing but I had to make sure you were okay and from the looks of it you are."

"Where have you been for the past 11 years?"

"California, after I left the BAU I needed to get away, I moved there made it as a detective on the LAPD, got married had a couple of kids."

"Wow, I cannot believe you are here," Morgan pulled her in a hug, still in shock of her presence."

"I heard about Spencer, Hotch called me, I am so sorry."

"It's been a rollercoaster of emotions, we are all still trying to process everything."

"He was a major asset to the team and an amazing person," She looked at JJ who had started to tear up again. She excused herself to Diana and William Reid, leaving Morgan, JJ and Garcia in front of more pictures, each a memory of a time Spencer had touched their hearts, each a heartbreaking reminder that this was the only way they would see him again. The rest of the night they stuck together, a team effort to make it through this night. Throughout the night more of past team member's come through; Seaver, Blake, and Callahan, each one of them wishing their sympathies and sharing their own stories of how Spencer bettered their lives. As the night came to an end and they began to leave they took one last look at him, JJ gently kissed his cheek and they left, the last time they would see him.

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Rossi stood at the front of the Church; Spencer never believed in a God but this is how his parents wanted to lay him to rest so Rossi stood outside ushering the friends and family in. It was a cloudy day, the rain had come overnight leaving puddles in the church parking lot, the groups of people trudged through, all in black still in mourning.

"Dave," A familiar voice sounded from across the lot; it was Hotch, Jack and Beth. Rossi was so glad they made it, the airline had messed up their tickets so they missed the wake but Hotch said he would drive if he had to in order to make it there in time.

"Aaron, I'm so glad you're here," He patted his friend's back and gave Beth and Jack a hug.

"I wouldn't miss this, I couldn't believe the news when you called me, it took me a while to process that it was true."

"It happened so fast, the team and I are still in the same shock."

"How are they doing?"

"As best as can be expected, I am positive none of us have stopped crying since it happened."

"I know it must have been awful, I'm sorry you all had to be there for it."

"I'm trying not to profile them but everytime I look at them I can tell when they are lying. Morgan says he is okay but his anger is still boiling inside, Emily blames herself, Garcia wont go back to her lab and JJ… I don't know if she will ever get over this."

"They will be okay Dave, they have each other, they just need time. What about you?"

"Honestly; i miss the kid like crazy, a little bit of me blames myself…"

"Dave…"

"No I know, this wasn't my fault but he was a kid, he was so young and I can't help thinking of all the things he didn't get to do."

"Me too," Hotch clapped a hand on Rossi's back before Penelope popped her head out.

"Rossi, they are ready to start," Her eyes puffy and red and a handful of tissues crumpled in her hand. "Sir," She looked at Hotch in shock.

"Hi Garcia," For the first time in her time of knowing him he hugged her, it was comforting but not familiar.

"I'm so glad you all made it," She smiled greeting Beth and Jack as well. "They are ready," she repeated before she disappeared back in the church.

"Ready to go in?"

"Not really but here we go."

None of them really heard what the priest said, It was all a blur, quiet sobs could be heard, mostly from JJ, Garcia and Emily. Morgan clutched his wife's hand; tears welled up in his eyes as he looked at the picture next to the casket. It was his ID photo, it had been taken a year prior after him and Prentiss had made of his previous one, he looked like he was 12. Spencer finally caved and taken the new photo which made him go from 12 to maybe 20, he had that baby-face, he was pretty boy. The priest finished his sermon and introduced Morgan, the eulogy, he had forgotten. Savannah nudged him and gave him a reassuring smile. The walk up to the podium was a grueling one, all eyes on him as he pulled his speech out of his jacket. He looked out into the sea of people, mostly focusing on his former team members, an encouraging smile from Penelope got him on track and he cleared his throat.

"I don't think there was anyone like my little brother Spencer; a genius with a heart of gold. He touched anyone who knew him; he was the caring and giving person that we all aspire to be. I will not lie; I'm lost right now, lost without him and in a whole lot of pain. He was my best friend, someone that I confided in and someone I knew would always have my back. I, much like most of you in this room have lost a little piece of yourselves through Spencer, it a piece of your heart that wont be filled again. As awful as I feel I stand here before you to remind you that there are so many amazing memories of this young genius, memories that will live on and will help me get through this hurt. I know he is in a better place, with an old friend, he is in no pain and free from all worry. I will miss him…" His voice faltered as he read the paper through tears, a small gasp escaped him as he felt the speech might be over there. It wasn't until Penelope appeared by his side and looped arms with him. She smiled at him and nodded as she moved him to the side.

"I will miss him, the way he always spouted off statistics; irrelevant statistics, I'll miss how he used to get lost in information only to stop himself when he saw the look on our faces. I'll miss the pointless poker games I played with him, I knew I'd lose every time. I'll miss how amazing he was with my son, and JJ's boys and Jack, I'll miss his magic tricks…" Garcia too began to tear up, she let out a calming breath before a few words. "Not a day will go by where I don't think about him but I know he is by my side always. This amazing man was taken too soon and he will be missed." She nodded in agreement at the final words before guiding Morgan to Savannah. The church was quiet as the next person walked up to the altar, Hotchner.

After he left and rekindled his love life with Beth, Hotch vowed to keep in contact, especially with Reid who hated goodbyed. When the BAU number popped up that day he thought it was Spencer giving him the recent updates but it was instead him receiving the worst news a person can get. He tried desperately to make the wake but weather conditions cut off air travel so instead, Jack, Beth and him drove to Virginia. He promised to speak at the funeral; Spencer was like a son to him so he searched for a poem, one of Spencer's favorite things . He settled on a poem that he almost read at Haley's funeral before he found another. He stood in front of them all, his hands shook, he had cried which was rare for him but he had cried that morning. He adjusted the microphone and cleared his throat.

"Death is nothing at all...
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I, and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way you always used.
Put no difference into your tone
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effort,
without the ghost of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was;
there is absolutely unbroken continuity...
Why should I be out of your mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you for an interval,
Somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well"

An amazing Poem by Henry Scott Holland, it perfectly suited the situation, to not forget the man but rather to remember everything that was good and keep going in life with only that. As the service ended Morgan, Rossi, Hotch and Will joined Reids father and his childhood friend Ethan to carry their friend out. Sobs echoed within the church as the men passed each pew, this day that they never wanted was suddenly here and oh so real.