A/N: Time for Lizzie and Red to finally talk. They need to move forward now. Here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy. To all who continue to hang in there with me, thank you! Also as a reminder, I started this fic I think almost two years ago. So all that is going on now was unknown to me. And even though times are rough, I still love this ship!

Chapter forty-one

He could hear the wheels turning and noticed how she kept biting her lower lip. He decided to put his cards on the table. "I can't keep picking up the pieces, Lizzie. I won't. I need a commitment from you just as much as you needed one from me. I've given you mine. I've always made it clear to you that I was all in. I put my heart on the line and it's not something I do easily. However it backfired because it seemed that while I put my cards on the table, you kept yours close to your heart. But I didn't mind because my end goal was to spend my life with you." He paused and saw the tears forming in her eyes.

"Was?" Lizzie whimpered. Was he telling her that it was over?

He covered her hand with his much bigger one. "And though that still is my end goal, I wonder if it's yours. You don't trust me. Or maybe on some level you do, but as soon as someone else comes to you saying things about me, you trust them. You lack faith in me and us." He chose his next words carefully. "I don't know what else to do to make you trust me. I don't think there is anything more that I can do. It's up to you now, Lizzie. It's up to you if we can make it through this."

She nodded her head, the tears rolling down her cheeks. She wiped them away and held on to his hand but the tears kept coming. He was still here with her. He was still willing to give them a chance. It was up to her now though and it made her panic. Was she really going to be able to get him to stay? Did he really still want her? She took a deep breath to try to calm herself down, but it wasn't really working. The tears kept falling and her small body was shaking uncontrollable. The fact that he was giving them a second chance overwhelmed her.

Red realised he had to calm her down. His words had caught her off guard and she wasn't dealing with them as he thought he would. "Calm down, Elizabeth." He said.

"Why won't you call me Lizzie anymore?" Lizzie asked through the tears. "You keep calling me Elizabeth."

She looked at him with her big blue eyes filled with tears. There was no denying the pain he saw. "Why is it so important to you that I call you Lizzie?" He asked. He gently caressed her hand with his thumb.

"You've always called me, Lizzie." She said as she watched him caress her hand. "I want to be your Lizzie." She said softly. "I need you to care."

He tilted his head and watched her. "I've always cared. I've never stopped caring." His voice was low and thick with emotion. Seeing her like this, in tears, insecure and in pain tore at his heart. He wanted his Lizzie to be happy.

A tense silence filled the air. Red was unwilling to talk and Lizzie seemed unsure where to begin. Standing up she put her plate in the dishwasher and walked outside. Red let her walk outside and watched how Jethro followed her. He stayed inside. He wasn't going to follow her. It was up to her. He'd made that clear. Not knowing what else to do and thinking he had given her enough to think about he thought it was time to leave. Stepping outside he watched her sit on the porch. He was reluctant to leave her. Part of him was afraid she was going to drink again. But he couldn't stay with her, couldn't keep watching her. He had to trust her. "I'll be back tomorrow." He said to her. When she didn't react he stepped away, ready to take the few steps down the porch onto the beach. But then she started to talk.

"Tom made all the decisions. He always said all I had to do was be there. He never wanted me to show initiative. He took it all away. Which is why I don't know how to do this. I'm scared that my inability will chase you away. I can't lose you Raymond. I won't survive losing you." She ended in a mere whisper.

He was blown away by her admission. He recognized the value of her words. It gave him an insight into her and it explained quite a lot. It broke his heart too. The way she was sitting on the chair, her knees drawn up to her chest, her arms around them and gently swaying made him want to go to her and comfort her. He did go to her, but didn't give in to the urge to wrap her in his arms. Instead he crouched down in front of her. He covered her hands with his. "You won't lose me, Lizzie." He promised her.

She grabbed his hand and entwined their fingers. "I need you in my life." She whispered.

They stayed like that for a moment before Red stood up and they lost contact. He stood back and looked at her. He needed to go now. Otherwise he would stay and he knew that was too much too soon. "I need to go home."

She looked up at him. "Will you come back?" She asked.

"I will."

She hesitated, not knowing if it was wise to ask her next question, but she did so eventually. "Are you going back to Angela?"

He nodded. "And Abby." He added.

"She called me you know." Lizzie looked down at her hands in her lap.

"Who did?"

"Abby." She looked at him again and saw his surprise. "She told me she missed me. I felt like I had let her down. I'm sorry." She apologised. "Tell her I said hi, okay?"

"I will. I'll see you tomorrow."

She watched him walk away and just before he was out of sight she called out his name. He turned and waited. Lizzie quickly ran up to him with Jethro of course closely behind. "Thank you." She whispered before she leaned up on her toes to give him a soft kiss goodbye. "I'll see you tomorrow." She turned around and went back to her house feeling slightly better.

TBC...