Chapter Info

Title: Jacob's Truth

Number: 9/36

Warnings: Angst

Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Comments are love!

HarlequinnDaze: Thank you so much! That's honestly one thing I always worry about, is if I'm going too fast or too slow with something. So I very much appreciate your words! Thanks for reading and commenting!

Goldielover: No worries at all! I just appreciate the reviews you've left and you reading the story thus far! Something will definitely happen, and if I remember correctly it should be within a few chapters. I already have it written and I'm in a hurry so I can't say exact chapter, but even if I did, that wouldn't be any fun. xD But it will happen! Again, thank you so much for reading and commenting!

-Abigail-

That night, nobody pulled up alongside her as she walked and for that she was glad. She had her light out, pepper spray in her hand, and kept it out all the way home. Luckily she hadn't seen Carlisle or Brett the rest of the day and she was able to lose herself in her work. Her chest ache was down significantly, but she was still congested so she made more soup once she got home. Beth gushed to her about her weekend and Abigail was appropriately happy for her, but she excused herself once Beth got settled for dinner. She wanted to go see Jacob down at the reservation, so she bundled up and headed out, grabbing her car keys on the way.

She decided that she trusted him enough that he wouldn't think her a freak for her dreams. Never before had she trusted somebody like that, but with him she did. It terrified her and made her happy at the same time. She would have to explain how long she had been having them, and tell him of the recent changes. She wasn't sure if she should exactly tell him that it was Carlisle that changed them, or her feelings about any of this, but she figured he would get it out of her eventually.

Billy's house was lit up by the time she got there and she smiled happily, shutting the engine off, but it quickly faded when she heard the yelling and the front door burst open. It was like Jacob didn't even see her as he stalked towards the tree line. She gasped softly and quickly got out to run after him, her heart breaking at her best friend's turmoil. His legs were long and it took a lot of running, but finally she was able to keep up with him even as her breath huffed out of her lungs.

"Jake!" she called. "Wait!" She saw him pause and she breathed in relief as she caught up to him, panting as she put a hand on his arm. He was trembling and seemed even warmer than usual so she quickly reached up to feel his forehead, frowning. "Jake, are you okay? Are you sick? You're really warm."

Gently he tugged her hands away and dropped them between them, the trembling getting worse.

"Get out of here, Abi."

Her mouth dropped and it stung much more than she ever expected. She took a step back, looking at him with wounded eyes, and yet he didn't back down, glaring at her. "What? Jake, what'd I do? What happened?"

"You can't be here right now. Go home. I'll see you tomorrow." He turned to walk away and she huffed, reaching out to grab his arm.

"No! Look, I don't care that you fought with Billy. I don't care how angry you are. You're my best friend and I'm not leaving."

Jacob gritted his teeth. "Abi—"

"No," she said stubbornly. "What's wrong?"

It seemed that her words only fueled him and he wretched his arm away, quickly putting about fifteen feet between them, but he stopped there, not going any further. The trembling got worse and soon there was a ripping sound and then a loud roar. Abigail glanced around for a moment, afraid suddenly that the wolf from the woods found her, and when she look back, Jacob wasn't there anymore. Or rather he was, but he was leaping in the air, his body quickly morphing in a giant, russet brown wolf. The roar was coming from his throat as he shook his muzzle around, landing on four large paws.

Abigail screamed, jerking back and stumbling over a rock, falling hard to her bottom. The wind got knocked out of her, but her legs and arms propelled her back a few feet, staring at the creature with terrified wonder. Clearly not the same wolf as this one—Jacob—was brown and not black, the eyes a deep chocolate. Jacob's eyes. He snarled for a second, but then all the fight seemed to leave, the large face falling into a look of melancholy. A whimper left his throat and carefully he sat down, making him closer to her height.

He didn't look angry in the least anymore, in fact he looked apologetic, and he laid his head on his large front paws, looking at her wearily. Abigail's heart jack-hammered and she stared at him, unsure and unable to move. It took only a second for her to realize that she wouldn't be running away, even though something impossible and mind blowing just happened right in front of her, so impossible she wasn't sure quite yet if she even believed it. Jacob became a wolf. A beautiful wolf, but a wolf nonetheless. People didn't just become wolves, they didn't just change into animals, and yet she was proven wrong by the creature in front of her.

Jacob. Her best friend.

Slowly her panic eased because she knew something: Jacob would never hurt her. Jacob protected her. Jacob was safe. Jacob was home. Why should she be afraid of that? Just because it wasn't normal, didn't mean that she should run. Because this was Jacob, and she could never run or be afraid of him.

He whimpered again, probably sensing her inner fight, and she felt bad for causing him the distress. Was this what he had been fighting with Billy about? She had a feeling it was. She knew Jacob and he would hate lying to her. He probably wanted to tell her and Billy disagreed with him. So, as Jacob was always stubborn, he showed her anyway. Slowly Abigail moved until she was on her knees and crawled the distance between them gingerly, hand out. It was a closer distance now considering his size—which, she realized, is why he backed up so she wouldn't get hurt—and slowly her hand found the brown fur.

Jacob gently lifted his head into it, telling her it was okay, and she giggled softly, a gentle smile breaking over her face. She moved closer then, deciding no ounce of fear was left in her, and she leaned forward to wrap her arms around his thick neck.

"You realize I'm going to call you the Hulk now, right?" she teased. "Get mad and poof, you're a wolf." The snort he let out was probably a laugh and she giggled again, pulling back to cup her hands over his cheeks. "Oh, Jake... I wish you told me sooner, but I know why you didn't. I'm not angry. And I'm not scared." She paused. "Does anyone else besides your dad know?"

He looked a little surprised, but nodded and made a little noise as if confirming.

"Is it just you?"

He shook his head as a no.

"That's why you're so strong, isn't it? You carried me like it was nothing."

He snorted again and nodded, leaning up to gently nudge her and gestured as if behind him. Her head tilted and she frowned.

"I don't understand."

He huffed and nudged her again, snapping at his neck, and then gesturing again. For a moment she raised a confused eyebrow and then it dawned on her, making her eyes widen.

"You want me get in your back?" she wondered.

He nodded yes.

"Won't it hurt?" The words were out before she thought and his look of annoyance made her giggle. "Right, sorry. I'll just have to get used to it, Hulk." He snorted again as she moved, clambering up and over his back, her fingers finding purchase in his soft fur, but she felt very secure where she was. Even as he stood up, she barely wobbled even as she felt his shoulder blades under her thighs. "Where are we going?" she wondered. He let out a noise, like halfway between a bark and a snort, before moving with her into the woods. She was glad she had the mind to shut her car door as her bag was still in there. She trusted it being unlocked, though, as it sat outside Billy's.

It was even darker out then as it was the night she got lost. Frowning, she leaned down closer to his ear as he walked quickly, but easily through the woods. "The other one, the black wolf... Do you know him?" Jacob seemed to pause, but his big head nodded and she knew he could exactly tell her then. "And he was safe." Another nod. "So that's why you said I would never be hurt. And you would protect me. The wolf is someone good and was helping find me. Wasn't he?" A nod. "That's why he didn't chase me. He just sounded the alarm and let you find me. Because he knew that you would be what I needed." Nod. She squeezed him around the neck. "Thank you, Jacob. I did need you. And I trust you. I feel so safe with you. I know I won't get hurt." Physically. But she didn't say that out loud. Jacob huffed and he almost seemed embarrassed and it made her giggle, leaning down to kiss the top of his head.

They walked for a bit longer and she realized she sort of recognized it, but she couldn't put her finger on it until the woods broke into a meadow and a large, white house appeared. Her jaw dropped and she shook her head, moving to shimmy off, but he wouldn't let her, just pushed her back on with his snout.

"I told you they don't want me," she hissed. "And shouldn't you be changing back?" He said and did nothing, so she sighed. "They know, too." It wasn't a question, but he nodded anyway. She sighed and stayed silent as he moved for the house.

She forced herself to be as passive as she had seen them, even as she saw the door open and a few of them spill out: Edward, Alice, Emmett, and Carlisle. What forced the passiveness away, only because she was so shocked, was the livid fury on Carlisle's face as Jacob stopped at the base of the stairs. His ochre eyes seemed...are they black? Must've been the lighting because that was impossible. But the rage confused her; she knew they didn't care about her, so why did they care that Jacob showed her?

"You realized how easily you could've killed her?" Carlisle snarled causing red dots to appear on Abigail's cheeks. He didn't look at her, just glared at Jacob. She heard her friend huff, and she knew he was rolling his eyes which made the corner of her lips twitch in amusement. "This isn't a game. Do you remember what happened to Emily?"

Abigail gasped. "That's what happened?" She had noticed it, of course, but had no idea.

"Sam got angry and phased; she was standing too close." Carlisle was speaking directly to her now, and she was surprised at how quickly it had changed from anger at Jacob to careful softness for her. She gulped as her heart gave a quick lurch.

"Sam? As in Sam Uley?"

Carlisle nodded. "He was the black wolf in the woods."

"That's why you were so sure he wouldn't hurt me," she said to Jacob. She grew up with Sam, too, as he was halfway between hers and Bella's ages and she was always at La Push in the summer. She trusted Sam, same with the rest of the Quileute boys.

Jacob nodded under her.

"No wonder you're all so warm. It's a wolf thing, isn't it?"

Jacob snorted and nodded.

"Alright," Carlisle said, her eyes snapping up to him at the tone. Clearly he had enough of the conversation and she didn't understand the pained look crossing his features. It made her remember her dream and how he looked at her as he leaned over her dying form, and Edward's eyes flew to her. She gave him a questioning look and he looked ill, quickly heading into the house with everyone else looking after him for a moment. "Let's get you inside. Jacob, phase back so we can talk."

Abigail frowned, but nodded. Jacob carefully lowered himself to the ground and Abigail slid off him, stumbling for a second after being back on her own two feet, but caught herself with the help of Jacob's arm. Emmett was at her side a moment later and she couldn't read his expression as he gently took her arm and guided her up the steps and inside. The rest of the family was in the grand room like normal and her cheeks heated as they all looked at her. Edward's face was carefully arranged again and she smiled slightly, pulling her coat closer for comfort as Emmett helped her into one of the chairs.

It was silent until Jacob, Carlisle, and Alice came back inside with Jacob smirking along at the back. He had only some cutoff jeans on and she grinned at him. He moved to sit next to her chair, leaning back against the side of it.

"So, are you sure I have to be the Hulk? Can't I be something cooler like...Iron Man?"

Abigail snorted and rolled her eyes, knocking on the top of his head with her knuckles. "Please. Your head isn't that hard. Besides, takes something special to be Tony Stark."

"And what's that?"

"When I figure it out, I'll let you know."

Jacob scoffed and she giggled, falling silent as she realized all the eyes were on them, and she blushed again.

Suddenly Carlisle went rigid and his gaze snapped to Edward who simply looked back at him evenly. She didn't understand their little quirks, this wouldn't be the first time she saw that happen, but she just looked away, glancing down at Jacob who was looking at the others warily.

"So...why am I here?" She really hoped it didn't come out as rude as it sounded so she winced. "Sorry, I just...are you guys wolves, too?"

Jacob chuckled. "They only wish they were that cool." Abigail patted his shoulder. "They're friends of the pack."

"Pack? How many are there?"

"Sixteen, give or take." Abigail's eyes widened in alarm, but it was gone as quick as it came. Because this was Jacob and the Quileute boys, they would never hurt her.

"Dang... Okay, so you what, guard people of Forks?"

Jacob shrugged. "More or less. Used to be just La Push, but some...extenuating circumstances changed that. Now we go wherever we're needed."

Abigail nodded. "Like into the woods to find stupid girls who fall asleep and get lost."

Jacob snickered. "Yeah, like that." He paused. "Sam's really sorry for scaring you, by the way. He felt horrible. He didn't mean for you to see him. He'll probably apologize in person, too. But like you said, he was sounding the alarm so I could come find you."

Abigail smiled. "Which I'll thank you guys for forever. Pretty sure you saved my life. Girl could've starved out there 'til morning."

Jacob scoffed. "Like I'd ever let that happen, Bunny."

Abigail giggled. "Bunny and the Hulk. Sounds like some bad '80s hair metal band." Jacob laughed along with her, both of them dying down into quiet contemplation when they realized they were, once again, the source for entertainment. Abigail sighed. "Look, I'm sorry for crashing your party here. I went to Jake's and found myself with a giant wolf instead and he brought me here."

"He brought you here because he knew how angry we'll be with him and he's hoping we don't yell in front of you." It was Alice who spoke and Abigail peaked over at her. It was Alice who had once seemed to care so much for her, and she was surprised at how much worry she saw behind her topaz eyes.

"But you guys aren't wolves, I don't see why you'd care." Again, she sounded a bit rude, and her lips parted as if she were going to apologize, but she had nothing really to say so they slammed shut again and her cheeks colored.

Carlisle's jaw tightened where he stood behind the rest and slowly he took a step forward, as if worried about her reaction. "Because we all care a great deal for you and being around the wolves can be dangerous. We don't want you to be hurt."

Her mouth opened in shock and then anger, her brows furrowing. "I can tell how much you care for me when one day you're telling me to call you for a ride so I don't walk home alone in the dark, and the next day you won't answer the phone. Until I got lost, I hadn't spoken to any of you for over a week." Her sarcasm had a hint of bitterness to it and she felt a tiny bit of shame at the sorrow that crossed Carlisle's face.

"We should've handled it better, I know. But we—actually, I—felt it better for your safety if we stayed away from you."

She glowered at him. "Better for me? Or for you?" He looked surprised, but she pushed on. "Since the moment I first met you, you've acted so...weird. First just nothing at all, as if you could care less. Then you make it seem like you wanted to at least be civil and friendly. But then you just act the same way you did before, nothing. And then I get the silent treatment from all of you. Never once have you shown me why you're more dangerous than anything else. And now you're concerned for my safety." She scoffed and stood up, crossing her arms over her chest. "If you didn't want me around, all you had to do is say it instead of creating these confusing, silly little games."

She didn't wait for a response or to see what happened to his face that time, she just turned and stalked from the room, finding the front door easily and quickly, bursting out into the open air. She realized then she was trembling as her fury gave away to sadness and she sank to her knees on the cold ground, fighting back tears that always came whenever she was angry or upset or sad, but they came anyway, staining her cheeks and making her tremble even more. Part of her just wanted to run, just wanted to leave, and she cursed the fact her car was still outside Billy's house at La Push.

She made no noise, but she stayed there until she felt warm hands on her shoulders, guiding her up, and she pressed herself into Jacob's warm embrace.

"Let's get you home," he murmured.

"My car..."

"I'll bring it. Keys in it?"

She nodded and just let herself get lifted into familiar human arms. It took her the walk home for her to realize that all her venting had merely been pain and sadness and loneliness disguised as anger. They were allowed to push away anyone they didn't want in their lives, and she shouldn't throw a tantrum because of it. Clearly all of the previous interactions had been purely because they were trying to be nice, but truth was, they didn't want her. That hurt worse than not having them at all. Especially with Carlisle involved, who was probably embarrassed over her little fit. And she had a feeling they at least gathered her deeper emotions and that made it even worse. They felt sorry for her for loving a man who would never return her feelings. It was pitiful really, and she barely held in her feelings of aching sadness until she was alone in her room, Beth already asleep and Jacob gone, sobbing brokenly into her pillow. She had tried so hard to push away those feelings before, to not let it effect her as it had, but the truth was it was like all she could feel was the loneliness. She felt incomplete and so when she had that dream again, of being a nurse in the war with Carlisle, she cried herself awake and stared at the ceiling for the next four hours until she had to get around for work.