Chapter 9.
Releasing Maura's wrist had left an emptiness in Jane she never knew could exist. Jane, the mistress of the unsaid, had never known that so much could be said with a simple touch. Or so much revealed. It was like a door had been opened that she had never noticed before. Surely there the whole time but never recognised for what it was. Now not only was she aware of it but was unsure how she could have ever missed it in the first place.
As her friend walked away from her she was sure she could feel the pain of each stiletto'ed footstep in her heart. She was desperately aware of her heart beating. Not faster particularly, it always quickened in Maura's presence but now it was if her heart needed to be heard and was trying everything possible to shout.
Suddenly aware of how she must look at this moment and trying desperately to care, she reigned herself back in, felt the nausea of this pivotal realisation pass and forced her eyes to leave the fleeting form of her best friend.
Bianca, true to her word had returned with her chips and a knowing smile, her eyes following Maura's form. She took a seat beside Jane and handed her the pouch of chips.
"Darlin'," her southern accent drawled in Jane's ear, not unpleasantly but jarring Jane from her thoughts. "Ain't many times I've seen that look in here before." She moved her head to claim eye contact with the brunette whose gaze now hovered between the carpet and middle distance, her rational brain attempting to compartmentalise before she could focus her efforts on responding. Jane finally replied with a smile and full eye contact which seemed to placate. "Sorry. She uhm, reminds me of someone." Tightening her grip on the chip bag Jane reminded herself she had two dead bodies which required justice and a large receipt to provide to Major Crimes. She needed to draw some information out of this situation... but how?
Her options were limited, she could work her way towards the poker tables and hope that some other member would offer some information. But Jane knew that wouldn't work. She'd always known that the most promising source of information was from either the woman sat beside her or something which could be gleaned from the rest of the workforce. Jane avoided thinking of Maura directly, allowing her thoughts to pull in that direction would be like a moth to a flame and she'd be lost again.
Best to wait it out, try her best to catch Bianca out and allow... other channels more time to gather information.
"Shall we make a start?" She finally addressed the croupier who deftly dealt her a hand.
Jane was relatively adept at blackjack after quick tidbits of advice and the occasional lesson from the team back at the precinct. She knew that if she was smart she'd be playing with the best odds in the club and whilst everyone knew street smarts were her forte, her math skills were also pretty impressive. As a consequence she continued to fair pretty well for a time before she felt confident enough to enjoy conversation whilst still maintaining the impression of a seasoned gambler.
She beckoned Bianca to expand a little on her background, her likes and dislikes. Knowing it was all for show, Bianca was clearly a character this woman had worked hard to maintain for some time, Jane just needed to catch her out with something, anything, a detail was all she needed.
"So, the entry requirements are pretty scrutinous. More than I'm used to. Your boss had his fingers burned?" Jane asked with a smile and a laugh as if she was genuinely kidding. That smile could get her into trouble, she knew that and often disarmed even the most hardened criminals.
"Ha," Bianca overacted the noise as much as vocalising it. "You may be right there... I'm sure he's learned a few lessons over the years. But it's more likely that they've been financial." Emphatically underwhelming response. Dead end. Again. "Shall I get us some more drinks? Same again or do you fancy something else?" She said catching Jane's attention and flicking a glance towards the bar.. Jane wasnt' quite ready to cover that ground yet so asked for a ginger ale and some pretzels before suggesting they move to the poker tables for a while. As Bianca moved away, Jane dared to glance towards the drinks counter and thankfully Maura was engrossed in proffering drinks to the waiting staff before tending to her own. Left alone with her thoughts, Jane questioned how she'd not seen it before.
The attraction had always been there, the emotional intimacy too. They were there for each other when no one else would or could be. How had she not seen that this was happening ? Was it possible she'd always felt this way and simply ignored it? Or was it in hindsight a more purposeful concealment of her affections? She'd certainly found herself drawn to the MD on many levels despite their obvious differences, in fact probably because of their differences. Maura radiated energy, passion and intelligence. But the real Maura she knew to be somore complicated than anyone could imagine. But it was impossible to not love her. Not loving Maura was like kicking a puppy. This aside Jane alone knew the feisty, flirty and the dark side of Maura Isles. And she adored her just the same.
It was coming close to the end of Maura's shift she realised. How could she possibly speak to her before she left? Jane demanded another blackjack hand, attempting to steady her thoughts. Bianca returned quietly with their drinks. "Can I be bold?" she asked plainly, passing Jane her bottle of beer. "How do you feel about leaving the tables for a while? Maybe a little time to unwind?" She smiled knowingly at Jane, a little wink securing her meaning. Jane blushed, her own personality showing through. She wasn't used to such focused attention, however this might just be the key she needed she realised.
"It's not that I don't appreciate the sentiment and Lord knows I could do with a neck rub and some quiet time but... can I be honest with you?" She rubbed her shoulders for added effect. The companion feigned bashfulness but Jane pushed on regardless. "I can't stop thinking about the woman at the bar. And I know it's probably against policy," Jane held her hands up as if she knew it would be completely against every rule set out and she wouldn't dare ask but... "I don't suppose you'd take pity on a fool?" She didn't dare finish that sentence although Jane was pretty sure she'd been that fool all along.
Jane attempted to convey how she'd look if she was a very wealthy woman, very much used to getting what she wanted, but ridiculously under someone else's spell.
Something worked. Bianca whispered in her ear, "Come with me."