Chapter Info

Title: Party

Number: 11/36

Warnings: Angst

Author's Note: Hello, everyone, and greetings! If you've stuck with me thus far, you're awesome, and thank you so much! I just wanted to take a quick moment to let you know that I have posted another Carlisle/OC story! The title is For All Of My Life and so far only chapter one is posted, but I just finished writing chapter two so that will be up soon...probably by the time you read this one. Lol! That one is not pre-written like this one so, like my other stories, I'll be writing it and posting it as I go. However, I am truly enjoying that one (I think even more than this one o.o but I truly love them both) so I'm hoping to get a good lead on it! I already have the first five chapters planned, and am working to get the rest at least outlined in the slightest. There will be many twists and turns to that one as well!Thanks so much for reading! I would love to hear your reviews, thoughts, comments, and questions about this story/chapter!

Don'tBelieveInFear: Thank you so much for your wonderful comments! I have read through the chapter many times (more than I have any other story) and have edited it just how I think it should be, so I'm glad that you are enjoying it. I hope this chapter is what you're looking for, but have no fear, much more interaction is soon to come. :) Thanks for reading and commenting!

shayna. kasdan: Lol! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading and commenting!

-Abigail-

The promise to herself was broken the moment she stepped out of the hospital. She ran to her car and jumped in, squealing out if the parking lot and making the short drive even shorter. Beth was out with Rick again so she was able to rush through things without questions or comments. She probably should've told Alice to expect her at eight to give her a bit more time considering how indecisive she was on outfits when she needed to look nice—You don't need to, you just want to.—but she wasn't going to change the time. She wanted to get there as quick as she could. So she took a five minute shower to get the hospital smell off her and looked through her closet as she dried her hair. She was sure her scalp was burned, but she worked quickly to curl it as well before pulling on a bra and panties with some white stockings.

While she was sure the evening was supposed to be rather casual, she decided she didn't care. Because he would be there and there was no way she could be casual with him around. She pinned up her hair the same way she did for the wedding and selected a cream color dress she had worn to a hospital Christmas party a couple years previously. Only Beth had seen it before, so she figured she was good. It had lace around the bottom along with the half, off the shoulder sleeves and along the top. It had a peach sash around it and was tight to the waist where it flared out down to her knees. It was vintage looking and she loved it. That's why she had picked the dress she had for the wedding, vintage and old fashioned dresses were what she loved. She paired it with a simple silver chain necklace and her mother's earrings, and her shoes were the white peep toe pumps that she wore to the wedding.

Light makeup completed the look, and this time she grabbed a small purse with a silver chain that was actually Beth's. Keys, wallet, phone, lip gloss, money...that was all she needed. She smiled into the mirror, the flush on her cheeks natural, and for a moment she wondered if she was trying too hard. Who cares? You look hot. Maybe just a little. She sighed and quickly made her way downstairs and grabbed her coat, got in the car, and pulled away before she lost the nerve.

As she expected, she missed the turn the first time and had to turn around for it, her eyes carefully scanning the trees as she drove about five miles an hour. She began shaking as she drove along the three mile trail, almost causing the car to hit a tree as the meadow appeared and she shook even more. She held her breath the whole way, pulling up between Harry's Blazer and Jacob's Rabbit. Alice was on the porch and she swore she heard her squeal as she raced down the steps to Abigail as the car was turned off and she stepped out.

Alice was also in a dress, but hers was black and more form fitting, and her pumps were a lot higher. Abigail felt a surge of jealousy at how beautiful she looked, but felt it unnecessary. At least she wasn't totally over dressed. Alice leaped into a hug, pulling back to look over Abigail.

"Wow, you look beautiful!" she gushed. There was a secret behind her smile and she had no idea what it meant, but she just chuckled softly.

"Thank you. You look lovely yourself."

"I know." Abigail snorted and was forced to follow Alice inside as the girl kept her wrist clutched tight in her cool hand. Wow, she's really cold, too, she noted randomly.

There was a lot of laughter and loud voices that came from the house and Abigail winced. She hated being the last one, but knowing the Quileute packs, as soon as they heard there would be food, they would've been over. Everybody was spread out through the dining room and great room, and Abigail tried not to get their attention as Alice stopped her to take her coat, but of course they noticed. Jacob was the first and he was by her in a moment, picking her up for a spinning hug which made her giggle.

"Well, who knew you could clean up so good." He smirked and she shoved at him with a roll of her eyes, but of course it had no effect on him at all. He and most of the pack had on simple jeans and shirt, probably so they could phase quick if needed and ruin the least amount of clothes as possible.

"I think you need your eyes checked," she said softly, even though she did feel rather pretty that night.

Jacob scoffed. "Girl, I can see for miles, I know what I'm talkin' about." He reached up to ruffle her hair and she caught his wrist, eyes flashing with amused annoyance.

"You touch my hair, I'll rip your hand off, Jacob Black."

"Fifty bucks on Abi!" The voice was Jared and Abi giggled, moving to say hi to the packs.

Only once she was done and sat between Jacob and Sam—on their insistence—did her eyes flicker over to the more quiet members of the party. Emmett with the still unknown blonde, Edward and Bella with the girl who looked slightly older than last time which was odd but she rolled with it, Jasper with Alice now in his arms, and finally Carlisle who looked... Is that shock? Yeah, he definitely looked shocked, as if he couldn't believe she was there.

Her stomach twisted and her eyes flickered to Alice's twinkling ochre eyes. Oh, Alice, you didn't... To Abigail, it looked like Carlisle didn't even know she would be there. At least, that's what she told herself, there was no way it could've been shock at her appearance. Her cheeks colored and she looked away, hoping he wasn't too upset that she was there.

The boys had eaten most of the food, but there was enough left that Alice yanked her over for a plate before Paul grabbed up the rest of it, causing a fit of laughter to erupt with his brothers.

"It's a wolf thing," Alice said with amusement as she watched Paul hoover in the last of the food.

Abigail laughed. "I figured. Jacob's always eating me out of house and home, I swear. Last week, Beth and I had a small turkey to make for dinner. Woke up and the fool had baked and eaten the whole thing while we slept." She tried to look annoyed, but really she was just amused. Her stomach was still twisting as she was hyper aware of how close Carlisle was in the room and decided being so close to him was definitely not a way to get over him. Her new dream flashed in her mind before she could push it away, so all she could do was swallow through it and try not to feel too ill as she ate, not wanting questions to arise if she didn't.

.x.x.x.x.

-Carlisle-

The whole evening, Carlisle's eyes were on her, unable to be removed even if he wanted them to. The moment she stepped through the door, that magnetic pull had intensified ten fold and he was lost in the magic of her beauty. He was glad he didn't need oxygen to survive because he legitimately hadn't breathed once that entire evening, eyes riveted to her face as she sat amongst the giant wolves, happy and content, laughing and smiling in ways that made Carlisle jealous to be the one that made her smile like that. He was aware he probably screwed all of that up, but if she would at least take him as an acquaintance, then he could protect her how he needed.

The best way to protect her is with her in your arms, his beast snarled to him, of which he dutifully ignored. Those cards just weren't on the table, and never would be. He had to do what was best for her and just because he selfishly wanted her for eternity didn't mean he could take her. Part of him wondered if he should've let her go on the battlefield, but the thought of erasing those almost two hundred years together had him nearly writhing with agony; no matter what happened or what he felt, he wouldn't erase those years for the world.

Edward shot him a pensive look, hiding his own pain behind his eyes. The feelings of his children were almost too much to bear. They deserved to have their mother back, to have a complete family again. As much as Carlisle wanted to give it to them, he just couldn't bring himself to consider changing her, no matter how much he wanted her at his side. He would apologize formally to them later once the wolves and Abigail had left, but right then he couldn't speak aloud or remove his eyes from his beautiful mate even if his life depended on it. She was his life and she deserved all his attention.

Carlisle's earlier shock when she came in had been for two reasons: the fact that she actually showed up, and her appearance. She was always beautiful, of course, but Carlisle had noticed rather quickly that her taste in dresses was almost too old fashioned for a woman her age, which is something that took his breath away. The dress she wore to Bella's wedding and the one she wore right then were both straight out of the '50s it seemed like, and it made his stomach clenched painfully as he thought of that night. His memory flashed to the events from before everything fell apart, remembering how they had made quick love right before leaving, and the only reason it had been quick was because they were desperate to be together, but they had to go out and look for the nomad leaving a startling body count behind him, enough the humans were getting suspicious. They had to stop him or take care of him before it got worse. Nobody wanted the Volturi involved. So they clung to each other quickly and desperately in their room before leaving to take their turn to search.

If he had known that would be the last time he would ever kiss her, last time he would ever make love to her... He had to shake away those thoughts because those were the ones that ultimately caused him to fall into that thirty-year coma, and he had too much to lose to do that again.

Eventually the Quileute boys ate up all the food that Alice and Bella had worked on for most of the day. Luckily Abigail was too caught up in their conversation to notice that none of the Cullens had touched a morsel of it. Of course they had excuses if she did, but Carlisle was glad that he didn't have to lie to her even more; it already felt wrong enough to do, and he didn't want to add on to it. If he had any say, she would never find out about them because that would lead to problems with the Volturi and he hadn't liked her around them as a vampire let alone the fragile human she was now. So keeping her in the dark as far as that went wasn't even up for discussion. He could only hope being there with them when clearly it was bringing more memories to her—he still felt rather lightheaded as he remembered Edward's quiet warning that she dreamed of her first human life, after she had left her father's up until the point she turned—didn't turn around and harm his plans to keep all of this from her. She could remember anything at any time, it's not like they could control it, and so he could only hope that the memories ended there.

But Alice's words rang in his head over and over again: "Think of that when she remembers." Alice knew more than she was letting on, clearly, and it made him wonder if Edward knew. His son merely smirked and that told him all he needed to know. They wouldn't be telling him anything so he might as well not even ask.

Slowly he moved to sit in one of the only chairs not occupied by the Quileutes—most preferred the floor, it seemed—so he could be closer to the object of all his agony. Despite the pain, he felt calmer with her right there, with the knowledge that she was safe and alive once again, able to live her life as she should. Carlisle would always have this pain, would always be fighting with his monster over control of what was right versus his instinctual urges. Eventually he would probably follow her into death, once she left her human life, but he would keep her alive and safe and happy until that time came. And he would always be waiting for her.

.x.x.x.x.

-Abigail-

Most of the evening she sat between Sam and Jacob, but soon she started to feel overheated so she gently tugged herself away to sit on the floor. Well, that had been the plan anyway except Paul, who had been in one of the chairs, got up to let her sit and she smiled at him gratefully. The wolves seemed to prefer the floor anyway, so she supposed it wouldn't do any good to argue with him. Plus she could lock her ankles together considering she had on a dress. Part of her regretted dressing like she had, but she loved it and so she decided not to dwell on it too much.

She knew she looked good, and she wanted to look good for Carlisle, as unhealthy as that seemed. The childish part of her wanted him to eat his heart out, show him what he couldn't have. But the reality was that she knew he didn't want her, so those thoughts were invalid, he wouldn't care one way or another.

He would never want you, so stop trying. The thought pushed her back into that depressive state that had her sobbing and clinging to her pillow. It was all she could do to keep herself smiling, though she would assume it wavered a little.

She didn't eat as much as she wanted, but her stomach twisted in such a way that she knew she couldn't keep it down so she handed it over to Jacob and insisted she was full. Her friend didn't seem to believe her, but she didn't offer anything else. It was only when the heat of the many wolves got to her that she excused herself quietly and moved outside. It was a clear night out so luckily it wasn't raining, but it was cool. Her skin prickled in goosebumps, but she didn't even mind as she gingerly sat on the front steps, mindful of anything that looked dirty, but like the rest of the house there wasn't even a stain on the wood. She crossed her arms over her thighs and looked up at the night sky and the twinkling the beamed down to her, smiling slightly when she saw what she assumed was a shooting star, but knowing her luck was probably only a meteor or something.

"Abigail."

The voice drew her out of her thoughts and made her jump simultaneously, looking back over her shoulder quickly, eyebrows shooting up in surprise. Jacob would've been expected, but not the person standing there staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face.

Edward.

He hadn't spoken to her much beyond being tossed into the same room with her. Against his wishes, she thought sourly, turning back to face the woods so she didn't see the frown that crossed his features. She didn't understand why she was suddenly so depressive in her thoughts; it never happened in Seattle. But ever since meeting this family and being shoved all over the place emotionally, she felt like a rollercoaster in the dark without any clue which way was up. It made her head hurt and so she buried her face in her palm, sighing shakily.

And now you're in love with a man who you can never have, and will never love you in return. Good job, Goodwin.

.x.x.x.x.

-Edward-

And now you're in love with a man who you can never have, and will never love you in return. Good job, Goodwin.

Edward was very good at keeping his monitoring of thoughts to himself, but ever since Abigail came into their lives—or rather came back—he was finding it much more difficult to keep it to himself. He told the others more than he ever used to about what he heard, and most of it was from the brunette sitting in front of him. He hadn't expected to be so effected by them, and he never had before, but he supposed it was different since this was his mother and she had no idea the agony that her mere presence brought his whole family.

And here she was thinking that she loved Carlisle, but he could never love her in return. If only she knew just how wrong she was, how much Carlisle desperately worshipped her.

Edward wished he could tell her, but it wasn't his place, besides the fact he was sure Carlisle would legitimately kill him.

Gingerly he moved and sat next to her, hearing the way her heart pounded—oh it pounded so much around their family, around Carlisle, and it was no secret how she felt—and the silent exhale of air as she worked through her emotions.

"Hello, Edward," she said quietly. The way her voice caressed his name slammed him back to 1918 and he, too, lost his breath for a moment before he managed to get himself together. He was sure the others could hear them, maybe even the wolves if they were paying attention—by their thoughts, they weren't—and he knew they would be listening intently.

"I'm sorry if I disturbed you," Edward said gently and Abigail shook her head. Slowly she moved her arms down around her shins and then looked up at him with a slight tilt of her head. The smile was barely there, but he could see the corner of her lips quirking ever so slightly.

"You didn't. I'm fine." She said that almost as much as Bella did, and he resisted the urge to narrow his eyes at her. "I just needed some air."

"The wolves do make it rather stifling, don't they?" When she giggled softly, he decided he was rather proud of himself. Usually it was Jacob—just Jacob—that made her giggle, so for him to bring it out was rather exciting. But he would keep that rather prideful moment to himself for Carlisle's sake.

"You can say that again," she said, sighing softly. She sat up straight and pushed a lock of hair out of her eyes that had fallen from one of the clips, but didn't bother putting it back. "Everything just—" She stopped and looked away again, refusing to meet his gaze as he frowned.

"What?" he prodded gently.

She sighed again. "—it just seems so crazy. Ever since I met you guys." She shrugged and still wouldn't look at him even as he froze and waited for more of her words, hoping she hadn't figured it out. "It always feels like I'm in two places at once. I'm me, the one in the here and now. Abigail Margaret Goodwin, age twenty-two, born in Delaware, raised in Washington, and ER nurse."

Her middle name is the same, too, he thought, filing it away to tell the others once Abigail and the wolves were gone.

"But there's another part of me that... I don't know, it feels like that part is missing." She paused and her mind went over her dreams and it was the moment he dreaded. Would she ask about them? Would she know they're not dreams, but memories? He waited and let her think it through, figuring out what she wanted to say, and trying not to answer her internal questions. Now wasn't the time to reveal he could read her mind. "I've... Well, ever since I was a kid, I've had these... They're nightmares." Her cheeks blushed a dark red as she shook her head. "I don't know why I'm telling you this. Even Jacob doesn't know about them. But... I die in them, Edward. It's the same thing: I'm in an alley, and it's cold, always so cold. I'm all alone and I'm terrified, but then there's this giant man in front of me...with bright red eyes. He just laughs and grabs me. I feel so strong, but I can't get away, and he just...he rips my head off without even a hesitation and tosses it. I can see and hear, I can feel. I hear my body fall, and then I'm burning, but I can't scream." She shudders and brings her arms up to cling to herself as Edward's hands clench into fists. She decides not to mention the change that included Carlisle—they weren't memories anyway rather wishful thinking as she died that night—but Edward knows about it anyway. "I feel like they're more than nightmares. Is that crazy? I feel like they're..." She sighed. "Well, I don't know. It's silly. But they feel so real, and I can feel the heat of the fire and the rip of my neck." Her hand flutters up to her throat unconsciously. "What does that even mean?" She shook her head. "But they're part of whatever it is that I'm missing, I can feel it. And whatever that part is... I miss it. I feel like that's who I'm supposed to be, and I'm stuck in the life I'm in now. Don't get me wrong, I loved my parents more than anything, and I love my friends. But I want the me I was before back. The real me." She paused. "Assuming I'm not just crazy. I just want more of those dreams, more of an explanation so at least I understand why I'm having them."

Finally her voice faded out and they were left with the silence of the night. Edward didn't know what to say, because he had heard her inner turmoil, but never expected her to voice it aloud, much less to him. Alice, Jacob, maybe even Carlisle... Maybe that's why she chose him, he was an unbiased third party, at least to her. But he still didn't expect it. They could still hear the wolves talking and laughing, oblivious of the conversation, but his family was quiet other than Carlisle's footsteps taking him closer to the door. Edward's eyes flickered over his shoulder to meet the agonized gaze of his father and he gave him an empathetic look, before turning back to Abigail to try and figure out how to comfort her.

"You think my family is bringing out this...this other you." It wasn't a question and she just shrugged. Her cheeks reddened and that would've told him the answer if her thoughts hadn't already done so.

"You think I'm crazy," she finally mumbled, twisting her hands together where they rested by her knees.

"Of course not," Edward said. The fact she was so close to the truth was a bit unsettling and his eyes flickered once more to the man hidden in the doorway before he put a gentle arm around her shoulders. She looked over in shock, but slowly she gave him a smile—something else that made him very proud—and leaned against him. He felt her shiver ever so slightly and knew his body was a stark contrast to Jacob, but she didn't complain, and he wouldn't move unless she seemed to be too cold or asked him to. "I guess I just don't understand. Did you see any of us in these dreams?" She hesitated, but nodded slightly in an answer he already knew. Leaning closer, his voice lowered, though he knew Carlisle could still hear. "Carlisle?"

She looked up in shock, her heart pounding harder and her cheeks flushing. She didn't say a word or even nod, but what she did do was all the answer he need. It was his turn to smile.

"So what do you think they are? Who is this other you?"

Finally she shrugged again. "I don't even know." She sighed and looked back at the trees. "It was just a theory. It made sense when I thought it, but now it just...doesn't." She bit her lip and blood rose to the surface. It made Edward realize how unusual it was to see the humanity in Abigail. She was a vampire for the whole almost forty years that he knew her, so the flush of blood and pounding heart was unsettling. Carlisle hadn't seen it since the Revolutionary War, so it had to be even worse for him.

"I guess we'll have to just help you figure it out, right? See if this other you actually exists." A light growl from behind him told him that Carlisle definitely did not agree, but Edward didn't care. He was tired of watching Carlisle be miserable when he deserved so much more. He was tired of watching the hurt and confusion on his mother's face. He was tired of keeping so many secrets; he thought they were done with that when Bella had first found out about their kind. He was tired of having a broken family. Abigail made it whole whether Carlisle wanted to admit it or not.

But Abigail was smiling again and Edward squeezed her shoulder ever so gently. "Really? You'll help?"

Edward nodded. "I'll help you in whatever way I can." He paused and took a risk with his next thought. "You should talk to Carlisle, too. He might be able to help you with some things I can't." Like a hundred and thirty odd years.

Her heart actually stopped beating for two seconds before picking up even faster. He could feel her inner turmoil, and while he was no Jasper, he was good at reading people. And he tried to give her the privacy of her thoughts by focusing on the conversation inside.

"But he doesn't even like me." The words were so quiet even he had a hard time knowing if she actually said them aloud or in her thoughts, but when he heard the strangled choking from Carlisle he knew she said it out loud and he had freedom to comment.

He pulled away slightly, looking down at her aghast. "Do you honestly believe that?" She didn't do or say anything which was his confirmation. "Abigail... There's not one bone in his body that could ever dislike you. Believe me, his actions don't mean what you think they do."

"Haven't you ever heard that actions speak louder than words?"

"Do you trust me?" He saw her slight hesitation, but he was glad when she nodded. "Then trust me now. He doesn't hate you. Far, far from it." He didn't elaborate, it wasn't his place, but he hoped she understood the truth of the situation.

She didn't say anything else for a long while and Edward focused once again on the conversation inside rather than her thoughts to give her some privacy. He knew that she was in love with his father, even though she didn't understand why or grasp the true meaning of the intensity she felt. She didn't understand the mating call that vampires had, that Carlisle had towards her, his long lost mate come back to him fifty years after she died. But she was human and it wasn't surprising that it was more muted in her than it was in Carlisle; it took longer, and even at its highest strength, it wasn't close to how it would feel if she were a vampire again. There as no doubt in his mind that this was their Abigail, Carlisle's Abigail, and that her true place in this world was with them at Carlisle's side. But his father as stubborn so it would take a lot for them to talk him into even consider changing her again.

"Thanks, Edward." He was brought once again into the present and he smiled down at her, squeezing her shoulders.

"Don't mention it, kid."

She snorted. "Kid? I'm pretty sure I'm at least four years older than you."

He smirked knowingly and patted her shoulder before drawing back and standing. "I'm still taller."

She rolled her eyes and stood was well, brushing off the seat of her dress which was still immaculate, and headed for the door. Carlisle moved quickly away so she didn't find him eavesdropping, and Edward made sure she got safely back inside the door. One look at Carlisle's devastated face told him he heard more than he needed to know, and Edward simply nodded to him gravely. What else could he really do?