Four years past since Mon Mothma saw Cutter Mills. Somehow, she found an inner strength to fight on for the sake of Jeanida and her fallen friends. Part of her died when Vader so cruelly took them. Another part dried up when she and Cutter parted ways.

Despite walking through life as a ghost of her former self the leaders of resistance and Senate continued to look to her for hope. She gave it to them even if she didn't feel it inside. Organa noted that she carried a haunted aura with her, though he was the only one astute enough to pick up on it.

Recruitment was slow going. In addition to the Sullustan support Mon she gained ties with three major cultures, the Mon Calamarie, the Wookies, and an entire sector of human planets including her home world of Chandrila. None of them wanted to sign something formal unless there were other signatures. It was a paradox her political brain had yet to solve.

General Organa continued to experience setbacks in his secretly run guerrilla operation but they made small strides each day. The General had been absence as of late. Mon learned Organa's wife had died and he had a five year old daughter to care for.

In his absence Mon travelled to the Massi Temple at Yavin 4 to help with basic operations. She hadn't been to the jungle filled moon in four years. The fresh sent of lush vegetation triggered memories she long buried.

She stepped off the shuttle and ran directly into Cutter Mills. He still wore the same brown jacket and brown boots. He was clean shaven now. The power of his good looks nearly knocked her down.

Mon heard rumors of his exploits. He flew the most dangerous missions for General Organa, mostly weapons retrieval and targeted attacks. He broke through lines to deliver needed supplies and outshot TIE fighters. He gained a reputation as a resistance hero. She felt a swell of pride when she first heard this but had to stifle it inside.

Seeing him again Mon was surprised by the urge to hug him. The night on his ship in her compartment came to her memory like it happened yesterday. She nodded to him but he passed without a word. Her newest counselor, an aged man with ties to the Old Republic, stopped him.

"Young man, this is Senator Mothma. Please address her properly."

Mon wanted to tell Cutter he needn't listen to the old man. Cutter stopped and bowed.

"Senator, thank you for your service to our cause." He turned but then stopped. He seemed to contemplate his next words carefully. "I know the sacrifices you've made for us."

The last time she talked to him she was still reeling from the deaths of Jeanida, Hunt, Riggs and Matches. Though their deaths still stung, time brought a new clarity to her mind with regard to Cutter. She was no longer numb to his scorn or to her feelings for him. In that moment, she thought maybe she wasn't strong enough to fight her feelings anymore.

She bowed in response and he walked away.

"Don't know what's gotten into him. He's usually a very polite young man," her aid muttered. The old man knew her well enough not to question her on the interaction further. She'd picked him up shortly after her meeting on Sullust. His ignorance of her relationship with Cutter made her wonder. How many other resistance members knew of her former association with Cutter? She thought about his proposal of a secret life with seriousness for the first time since he suggested it four years ago.

She shook her head. It was probably far too late for that now. She didn't see Cutter again after that, but one day in the command center she heard news of him.

Two of the other generals discussed supply runs and Mon listened only half interested.

"The one to Hoth made it through but the other we think was destroyed or intercepted."

"Who's run was that?"

The other general flipped through a clipboard with several pages attached.

"Mills. Captain Mills."

The other man frowned. Mon's full attention turned to them even as fear for his life clutched her like Vader's invisible fingers around her throat.

"One of our best. He was carrying the weapons shipment. That's a blow to the resistance if he was picked up."

Mon leaned against the command center to keep her legs from giving out. In that moment she realized what an idiot she had been. Four years they spent apart because of her pride and fear.

"Senator Mothma, should we send a search party out to find him?"

Mon steadied herself and as always put the good of the cause before her own feelings.

"We can't spare the resources. We'll know soon enough the fate of his ship."

The Generals both nodded and moved to the next issue. Neither of them suspected the turmoil that tore Mon apart. She mastered the art of deception. It was ironic to learn of Cutter's death the moment she decided a secret life together was possible.

The next few days were busy. Mon was happy for the distraction. She spent almost no time alone. Several of the generals praised her for her dedication and quick thinking. When Organa returned on the fourth day, he resumed his duties, though he was a shell of the man. Mon was relieved he wasn't quite himself yet or he might have noticed her withdrawn behavior. The drawback of his return was she had too much time alone to think.

She couldn't stand being cooped up in the temple one afternoon a week later. Even though the jungle rains descended Mon went for a walk outside the compound. She put on a rain slick and rubber boots. Even with the extra layers she was drenched when she stepped back inside the temple. Before she could take off the rain gear she heard the place buzzing with excitement.

She walked toward the docking bay and saw Cutter's ship, along with several newly rescued X-Wing fighters. One of the pilots broke from the crowd and hurried over to her.

"Great news, Senator. Captain Mills had to go radio silent while he pulled off the impossible. He brought home a garrison of ships and the man power to fly them."

Beyond the pilot she watched Cutter receive praise from his fellow fighters and from the half dozen pilots he rescued.

Mon was grateful she was wet. Whether rain or tears she knew the pilot in front of her couldn't tell.

"I'm very pleased."

She turned to leave but the man stopped her.

"Are you going to congratulate him? I'm sure it would mean a lot."

"As you can see I'm in no state. Ask him to come to my command station after the celebration."

The suggestion appeased the pilot and made Mon suddenly very warm despite the cold rain. The pilot returned to the celebration.

Mon retreated to chamber. She closed the door just before her composed mask fell away. She laughed with joy at his safe return.

After a shower and a change of clothes, Mon paced the length of the chamber. A rise in status in the resistance brought with it a more luxuries than she experience with Cutter and his crew. She was sure Cutter was trapped in a small compartment with thin walls and many bunkmates. She couldn't summon him to her chambers with arousing suspicion. She wanted talk to him, to clear the air of their last meeting if nothing else, but she risked alerting people to their former relationship if not done in a formal way.

She told herself it no longer mattered if the secret was out. The fact it was still a secret stirred something inside Mon. Hope. For the first time in years, she felt hope. Maybe it did matter. Maybe she could have what she never thought she would get.

Mon left her chambers and went to the command station. Cutter was already there when she arrived. The round console separated the two of them. Only five or six workers were in the room but Mon didn't want to risk having them overhear what was really on her mind.

"Senator Mothma." He bowed and when he looked up he avoided her eyes.

"Once again you've made significant strides for the resistance. Your efforts are appreciated." She bit the inside of her cheek. Dirty bantha's fur, that sounded lame. Not even close to the poignant longing that threatened to explode from her heart.

He bowed again and she could see he was about to leave. She needed a few more minutes with him even if they were formal and uncomfortable. Seeing him again, just being near him, was like refueling the bone dry tank of starship after a trip across the galaxy.

"Captain Mills."

He stiffened. She could tell it was torture for him to be near her.

"I hope the quarters at this base are not too uncomfortable."

"They're fine," he said through clenched teeth. Mon waited until she recaptured his gaze. When he finally looked at her his eyes were as cold and grey as the inside of a Star Destroyer.

"If you do tire of them this temple has many nooks to take solace in. A favorite of mine is near the high ruins at mid day when the sun is out." She hoped he understood the message. She knew saying even that much was risky. She sent a clandestine look to the resistance workers in the room. They all seemed engaged in other activities.

Cutter's teeth remained clenched.

"Can I go now? I'm missing my own party."

Mon lowered her head and left the room. As he walked away she felt tied to him. She thought for a moment he looked back but turning to him might have drawn unwanted attention. Mon checked in with a few of the workers before she returned to her chambers. The wait until noon the next seemed like an eternity.

When she arrived at the old ruins she returned to the stones where she and Riggs once talked. She remembered fondly her friend's kind words. She told herself if Cutter did show up she would do everything in her power to make Riggs' favorite speculation about them a reality.

After the rainfall yesterday, Mon suspected the day would turn out warm and pleasant. The sun cooperated and sent bright rays down on the refreshed jungle. Looking out over the landscape she could almost forget they were at war. Almost.

For a while she was content to take in the peaceful view but as time wore on hope that Cutter would show up began to fade. The longer he stayed away the more she realized just how much she hurt him the last time they spoke. Guilt swallowed up her hope until she decided it was time to get back to work. She turned to leave the ruins.

Cutter approached from other direction. Mon turned her back to him. She had to calm herself down and reign in her emotions or she was liable to jump into his arms.

"I'm here, Carrots. What do you want?"

Mon let the hint of a smile pull at the corner of her mouth. Carrots. She hadn't heard that name in so long. She loved it.

"You."

She watched his reaction. He put his hand on his hip. Her blaster hung in the holster at his side.

"For a mission?"

She moved close to him so they were face to face.

"The most important mission of all. One the Empire can't win."

Cutter nodded. His lips pressed together while he thought.

"Weapons run? Taking out a hot military target? Another Star Destroyer?"

Mon reached out and put her hand on his chest. He didn't pull away but he didn't look pleased either.

"Cutter." Mon inhaled. Her life training, the one that taught her never to show her emotions, never to have emotions, threatened to silence her tongue. She pushed passed her instincts.

"The mission is life. I want to marry you. I want to try the secret life you suggested. I want to have children and to spite the Empire by not living in fear." Mon felt a huge relief when the words spilled out. Even if he rejected them at least she said them. She could go on now no matter the outcome. She turned hopeful eyes to him. Rarely did Mon look to others with the hope she so often found on the faces of those around her.

Cutter stepped back and Mon's hand fell away from him. He paced over the stones.

"Just like that? After four years. Four years, Mon."

It was the first time she heard him use her real name. The sound was beautiful and bittersweet because it came with such hatred. His gaze bore a hole into her soul. Even facing Darth Vader, handcuffed and friendless, hadn't made her feel so vulnerable.

"I don't like to take risks." Mon forced the next words out. "The thought of losing you like," she whispered, "the others."

She couldn't go on after that. Even though his reaction meant everything to her she turned away. She couldn't let him see the tears that threatened to appear.

"And what if all the sudden one day you change your mind again? You decide you really don't want to be my wife. How do I know that won't happen? You've been awfully wishy-washy, Carrots."

The harsh tone did cause tears to fall but it was the last word that caused her to look up at him. He crossed the stones, wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in for a tender kiss. She felt the sting of more tears but fought them back in order to enjoy his lips. He tasted like he had four years ago. For a moment time didn't exist, the Empire didn't exist, and all that mattered was two people who loved each other.

Cutter deepened the kiss until it turned passionate. The blast of air from a rising resistance ship near the ruins couldn't tear them apart. Mon ran her fingers up through his hair and felt his hands travel up her back to her shoulders and neck. Her entire body tingled with anticipation of the life that she found. A new life. For her it brought with it a new hope for the resistance.

Cutter broke the kiss and wrapped her up in his embrace. Mon couldn't help with laugh that escaped her lips.

"Does this mean you forgive me?"

He let go just enough so Mon could face him. He looked down at her with mischief in his eyes.

"That depends."

Mon closed her eyes and touched her forehead to his. He kept his hands locked around her waist.

"On?"

"Let's say I do forgive you."

Mon hummed to encourage him to continue.

"What will you do to make it up to me?"

She opened her eyes and faced him again.

"What do you ask of your Senator?"

Cutter grinned.

"I could use a new ship." He looked upward. "Bigger quarters, since you brought that up. Wouldn't mind the score from another Jabba the Hutt transport."

He rocked her slightly from side to side as he spouted off his wish list. She felt so light and warm she thought she could float up to the cloudless sky.

"And about five," he shook his head, "no, six kids."

"Six?" Mon baulked. She put her hands on his arms.

"Not enough?"

"I'm not nineteen anymore."

Cutter scoffed. He touched his index finger to her chin.

"But you're not hundred either... or Yoda."

She kissed him then drew back to look at him.

"Let's start with one."

He returned the kiss.

"One is good. Guess this means I'll have to forgive you."

Mon pushed her way out of his hold.

"Not before we find a safe haven, and get married, and figure out how this is going to work."

Cutter put his hands on his hips.

"Carrots, you can figure out anything. Even how to get all these rebels to form an alliance."

Mon hoped he was right. Her hope was back and that was a start.

Mon looked at a picture of seven-year-old Princess Leia. The girl was pretty. Her hair was done in the elaborate style of Alderaan. She looked like royalty. Mon felt bad for her growing up without a mother and a father constantly occupied in such dangerous work. When she heard Organa enter his Senate chambers she set the picture back on his desk.

"Senator Mothma, what brings you here? I thought our meeting wasn't until tomorrow?"

He unceremoniously tossed the stack of paper in his hands onto the desk.

"Tell me you bring good news about our friends."

Mon frowned. She waited while Organa secured the room from unwanted eyes and ears. He gestured toward the chair across from the desk and she sat. He leaned against the desk and nodded it was safe to continue.

"The Empire has succeeded in spreading fear. It saddens me to think the Empire must to inflict more death and destruction before the military leaders of our allies will commit to the cause."

Organa sighed so heavily his shoulders slumped. He looked tired and depressed.

"Leia is growing into a very pretty girl." Mon hoped the change of subject might brighten his spirits. It seemed to work. He grabbed the picture from his desk.

"She's a handful. I'm lucky there are still enough members of the Senate who wouldn't stand for an attack on Alderaan royalty. Palpatine doesn't dare go after her."

His words provided the perfect opportunity to bring up the reason for Mon's visit but she didn't feel quite ready to come out with it.

"As long as there is still a Senate."

Whether Organa agreed with Mon's veiled suggestion that it was only a matter of time before even the corrupt Senate was abolished he didn't say.

She moved pass the subject to another that had been on her mind.

"Is it difficult for you both without her mother?"

Organa's eyes turned grim once again.

"We have each other. We're happy but we miss her."

Mon considered his words carefully and how they related to her. An absent parent was never an easy thing. She thought of her own parents back on Chandrila. It had been years since she spoken to them. Contact with any of her family was too dangerous. She missed them but now she would no longer have to.

"The force help us, Leia's has already showed an interest in politics. Maybe you could talk with her someday. She has a great admiration for you."

Mon lifted her chin and held back a grin.

"No doubt she takes after her father."

Organa smiled at her. He set the picture back down.

"I'd be happy to mentor her." Mon meant it. She didn't know when or how she would find the time but she would keep her word.

"Thank you, Mon, though I surmise you didn't come all this way to discuss my daughter."

Mon folded her hands in her lap. She looked down as she gathered her thoughts. When she turned up to him he looked at her with hope.

"Two reasons actually."

Organa left the desk and pulled up a chair next to Mon. Silly as it was she was glad he didn't chose to sit behind the desk. The more informal set up created a sense of intimacy that made it easier for Mon to get to her second point.

"I've heard word that Galen Erso has defected to the Empire."

Organa leaned back in the chair. His eyes were wide with worry. He ran a hand through his thick dark hair.

"Why would he do that after all he went through?"

Mon kept her eyes on Organa. He read her thoughts.

"You don't think it's true."

Mon sat up straighter.

"He has joined the Empire but, like you, I find it hard to believe. This is a serious a serious concern."

Organa nodded with his index fingers together and resting on his lips.

"There was a child, wasn't there?"

"Yes."

Mon felt her heart skip a beat. Another innocent child pulled from her family by the Empire.

"Saw Gerrera has taken her in."

Organa's jaw tightened.

"Don't talk to me about Saw Gerrera."

Mon knew Organa had run ins with the extremist resistance leader. Mon's own attempts to temper Saw into joining them failed miserably.

"What do you want to do?" He finally asked. Mon inhaled deeply. The truth was she didn't know.

"Keep an eye on the situation. Wait."

Organa shook his head.

"I'm tired of waiting, Mon. Will this come to anything or are all our efforts in vain?"

She let silence answer his question. The force was strong in the room and she knew he felt it too. They couldn't give up. Organa let the question pass and moved to another.

"How did you hear about this anyway?"

"The Bothans are selfish, greedy."

Organa looked at her in surprise. If only he knew the half of it. She and Cutter had spent a lot of time on Bothawui lately, and intended still to spend more time there. The rugged mountain terrains were dangerous but uninhabited. A perfect hiding place.

"But they are the best information gatherers in the galaxy. They've allowed us access to their spy net."

Organa's eyes brightened.

"We might have lost Erso but this is a gain."

Mon thought he would be pleased by the news.

He lifted his brow.

"The Bothans? How did you mange it?"

Mon hid a smile and looked down at her hands.

"Never mind. I don't want to know."

She let Organa ponder the possibilities for a moment while she prepared herself for the revelation to come.

"Do you trust me, Bail?"

The question seemed to surprise him. His eyes turned serious and his answer came swiftly.

"With my life."

Mon kept his gaze.

"That's what I'm about to trust you with. My life." Mon moved to the edge of the seat. "More importantly, with the lives of those who I love most."

A wrinkle of confusion lined Organa's brow. Mon's mouth went dry but when she looked into his eyes she found her courage.

"I need to take some time away from the movement. Only a little time. I ask that you cover for me. Say I'm on some secret diplomatic mission."

Organa's eyes studied her intently.

"Are you exhausted? Ill? Do you need a break?"

Mon laughed softly.

"No, nothing like that."

She reached out and touched his hand. She couldn't help the smile on her face.

"I'm pregnant."

It was a good thing Organa was sitting down. Mon thought if he was standing his legs might have given out beneath him. She relished his expression. There were only a precious few she would be able to reveal the news to.

Organa exhaled deeply as if just back from a strenuous workout. His eyes took in her face.

"You seem happy about it."

Mon removed her hand from his and sat back in the chair.

"Terrified and overjoyed."

Organa hesitated. A grimace passed over his face as if he debated his next words.

"Who's the-"

"My husband."

She saw relief wash over him. Enough relief to make her question what he was thinking. The idea he might have been worried she had a one night stand with a Wookie amused her to no end. Yes, this would be a conversation she would look back on fondly.

"You got married?" A smile finally found Organa.

Mon returned his beam but then grew serious.

"The need for secrecy in the galaxy is paramount. Look at the Skywalkers, the Ersos. I will do anything to protect my unborn family." Mon instinctively touched her abdomen. "My husband knows about this, of course, and two others we've chosen to help us at our remote hiding place."

Organa turned solemn as he listened. Mon didn't need to tell Organa the rest but revealing her closest secrets felt too good.

"The two others are my parents. Life on Chandrila has become dangerous for them. Many object to my involvement in the resistance. They think I have made Chandrila a target for the Emperor."

Organa smirked.

"I can relate."

"My parents agreed to leave their political careers, their home, and help us raise our family."

Organa stood up. He looked worried.

"But you are coming back?"

Mon stood up and crossed to the room to face him.

"I have too. What we are doing does matter, Bail. It will come to something but it will take our combined skills to see it happen." Mon forced back a powerful pang of guilt. "My parents and husband are sacrificing so that I can stay. I owe them a debt I will never be able to repay."

Organa shook his head. He put his hands on her shoulders.

"Mon, the resistance owes you a debt it can never repay."

To her surprise he hugged her.

"Congratulations. You deserve every happiness."

When he released her she had to wipe a tear from her cheek. Organa seemed pleased his words caused her to show a more vulnerable side.

"You're secrets are safe with me. I will absolutely cover for you."

Mon breathed a deep sigh of relief. She found herself relating to Organa on a new level, as a parent. She had many questions for him but she reigned herself in to just one.

"Is it a selfish mistake? Bringing a child into this life we lead?"

Organa looked at the picture of Leia on his desk. He pondered her question thoughtfully then regarded her with warmth.

"If I died tomorrow, it would all be worth it because of Leia. My wife felt the same. Leia is a gift to the galaxy. It would be an empty place indeed without her."

Everything about his tone, his eyes, his pride as he spoke of his daughter touched Mon deeply.

"I don't think I realized before what a wonderful person you are, Bail Organa." She put her hand to his face as she would her own brother. "Leading this movement is the most dangerous challenge of our lives and I couldn't have picked a better partner."

She dropped her hand and Organa grinned.

"Funny, I feel the same." He looked down at the ground and then back to her. "You are stubborn Senator Mothma. I didn't think you'd come back but I've learned that once you commit to something you give your soul to it. You're husband is a lucky man."

Mon lifted her brow. Cutter really had started to rub off on her.

"So I tell him every day."

Organa laughed hard. Mon had never seen him laugh so hard. The sound was contiguous and she joined. The happiness of two rebel leaders was a significant blow to the Empire. Mon didn't know that the dark side of the force was diminished a little in that moment nor that both Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine felt it.