Chapter Info

Title: Alive

Number: 28/34

Warnings: Angst

Author's Note: I hope you all like this chapter. :) Thanks for reading! I would love to hear your reviews, thoughts, comments, and questions about this story!

UnseenAngel17 and YourAlphaWolf: I'm glad you liked that she turned! Thanks for reading and commenting!

EclipseRosen: I won't say too much, but this chapter will explain Brett's fate. I'm glad you liked that he bit her! Thanks for reading and commenting!

AHealingRenaissance: Carlisle definitely was the one who changed her, though having Emmett shove him out of the way and do it would've been great... xD Of course, no problem! I got a notification earlier from this site, so dare I say that they're fixing it? Probably wishful thinking. xD Anyway, thanks for reading and commenting!

LadyAmazon: I definitely agree! And see I wanted Brett to be more of a voyeur than a rapist because he's just too sleazy to be a rapist. Which is saying something. xP But I pictured him more "enjoying the view" than participating in the act. And I take it as a huge compliment that it's like it's out of Criminal Minds or any of those shows because I'm addicted to all of them so yay. xD Thanks for reading and commenting!

PaulineT: I agree! And, even though Edward was against her turning, I think like with Bella, he knew it had to happen. Despite it all, Abigail is still like a mother to him and he doesn't want her gone anymore than the rest of them. But anyway, thanks for reading and commenting!

Dobrev (Don'tBelieveInFear): No worries at all. :) But thank you so much, glad you liked them! I am, too, even though it took something like that to bring him around. She's where she's meant to be. :) Thanks for reading and commenting!

-Carlisle-

Three days was a long time to watch the love of your life writhe and scream in agony.

After Carlisle bit her, not being able to bear watching her suffer or slip way from him again—it was far too much like the battlefield—he, Edward, and Emmett got her out. Emmett sped home and Carlisle stayed in the back while she changed, his and Emmett's coats wrapped tightly around her cold, wounded body. She was so fragile he thought he was going to break her, but he never once let her go. They had to go fast so nobody heard her screaming as they drove passed, blowing all the stop signs easily.

The others were outside by the time they got home and together they helped get the bedroom set up, but after that Carlisle couldn't stand to have them in the room and he growled at them to "please leave," and they listened without a word. He would thank them later, but his mate was in agony and so vulnerable—up to and including her state of dress—that if anyone came near her, he's afraid of what he would do.

He stayed by her side for the full three days and thought over what happened in the past week or so.

She thought he didn't want her anymore. That's what hurt the most.

He thought she could feel what he did, and would know that's not true. But he understood, he supposed, because they'd spent a couple centuries together only for her to die and come back and him tell her he wasn't going to change her. He had warned the others of that, warned them how it would hurt her, but he supposed they forgot, even himself. He allowed her to love him and she convinced herself that he didn't love her anymore.

How could she think that? Didn't she know that she's the most important thing in all of creation to him? Didn't she know that he's never looked at another woman, never thought of them, the way he thinks of her?

And she expected him to watch her die and then run off with someone else.

Never.

He didn't know if he was more angry at her or himself, but deep down he knew he could never be angry at her. It was all self loathing that festered inside him, triggered by each scream she let out.

At least she's not drowning in her own blood anymore.

This should've happened differently, so much differently. If he hadn't been so selfish and given her what she wanted, he could've done this right. Bathed her with love and affection before choosing a spot on her body together where she wanted his mark, and then she would have pain, but it wouldn't be another dose of it to continue the last week of suffering.

Thoughts of that man had him growling and prowling around the room. Edward had brought back the ancient computer after he tied up Jones, leaving him in only his boxers, much in the very same way he left Abigail. Emmett nearly killed him and the beast in Carlisle roared for him to die, but he wasn't willing to stoop to that level and become a monster in return. However, he nearly gave in once Edward and Jasper showed him—at his insistence—what was on the computer. He roared in fury and possessiveness as he watched the bastard's tapes—months' worth, nearly since she first move there the September before—in very private acts around her home. No sex, but changing and showering as bad enough. Jasper put everything on a disc—carefully editing out anything that looked to vampire-y—much to Carlisle's rage, and taped it to Jones's chest and dumped him outside the Forks Police Department. Nobody could figure out how he got in, but they were put in before she got close again with the family so they supposed that was how they didn't catch his scent. But that didn't make any of them feel better, and it took everything in his power to stop the others and himself from killing him.

"Charlie won't let anyone see those videos."

Charlie had called later the day that Jasper dumped Jones and sounded very very tired, and more than a little broken. Carlisle assured him Abigail was fine and on the mend, but in a medically induced coma to help heal, and she could talk once she's better. Luckily, the chief didn't fight much, it's not like they needed much of a statement since they had the evidence.

On the third day, her screams quieted, but she was still moaning and twitching. Carlisle had watched the chest wound heal first and then her stomach. She no longer was feverish from whatever illness she had, and her skin began to glow healthily again. It had been too pale and sallow, her cheeks sunken from a week of barely eating. Carlisle sat on the bed beside her holding her hand tightly as he tried to figure out what he was going to say to her when she woke up.

How was he to convince her that all her fears were wrong? He didn't want her thinking he changed her out of guilt or pity. Truthfully, he was elated he could have his second chance at forever with her. But he would spent the rest of that proving to her how much he loved her. He would prove that her fears were incorrect, and there was nothing on the planet that he loved more than her. She was his mate, his reason for even existing, and if she wanted him to go then he would, but he would fight like hell first. She was worth the fight.

Slowly the sounds of her speeding heart slowed and then stopped all together. He held his breath as her movements stopped, her noises. She as utterly quiet and still and if it weren't for the changes he saw, the healed over wounds, he would say that she slipped off to death. But he could tell she didn't because in those moments before she opened her eyes, he could feel their bond strengthen. While it had been fraying as she pulled away, hurt and terrified the man she loved no longer loved her, it grew stronger and snapped back into place as if it never left. It felt even stronger than it had before 1955, maybe because they had to work and claw their way to it so much more desperately than they had before.

Bright red eyes greeted him a moment later. Each of them had them after they had been turned and so it didn't shock him, but he realized then how much he had gotten used to her eyes being gold. Or the green of her human eyes, he had definitely forgotten that until he saw her at the wedding reception.

He didn't move, didn't say anything as she took in her surroundings. He knew how it could be disorienting when you first woke up, and he was glad that she wasn't alone in this. He was right there and their whole family was downstairs so she would have the support that he didn't, something that he was glad the others did. He remembered how strong she was in the beginning, able to be around a human priest and not feed, and he hoped for her sake that it was just as easy this time around.

Assuming she wanted to be vegetarian still.

And assuming she stayed with him.

Now that her change was complete, now that the bond was strengthening, not something that he felt wrapped just around his heart, but it threaded into every fiber of his being, parts of it he hadn't realized ever existed. It felt stronger than even the first time, if that were possible, and he was fighting his beast once again as he needed to make sure she was alright, the need to take care of her overwhelming. But the beast wanted to complete the bond, snap that last little weak band that held between the two of them into place and take her, claim in her in the most primal of ways.

Seeing what Jones had done to her made him nearly unable to hold that beast back. The man violated her and he was sure from the purchase Edward saw—and the thoughts that made the young man sick and that he refused to tell—that it was about to get a whole lot worse. He barely held back the growl that the beast had rumbling in his chest, his lips clamping shut. The man had looked at her, touched her, used her, and the beast needed to roar—literally—it's ugly head and claim her.

He clamped it back, watching her cautiously as she sat up slowly. Well, slowly for them, he knew it was quicker than usual human speed because she actually looked a bit surprised. He had yet to touch her. Though he spent three days holding her hand and kissing her forehead tenderly, he knew it would take more than a soft touch and a kiss to make up for what happened. They had much to discuss.

Eventually she turned to him and it only took about a minute, but even to him it felt so much longer than that as he waited silent and patient for her to speak or do something. Even then she continued to study him and as strong as the bond became—and as much as he and his beast both purred with the fact she was honoring him with her gaze—he couldn't tell what her face read or what she was thinking. She looked nearly perplexed, but it morphed so quickly to something else and did so multiple times that he had trouble catching them all.

"I was dying."

Finally she spoke and her tinkling voice had his heart aching and his beast purring. While he loved her human voice, the lilt it took when she became a vampire was the most beautiful of sounds, the most splendid orchestra, the one thing that could make his undead heart give a beat again, as he swear it did just then. His beast had been upset as Emmett when it found out he wasn't going to change her and so that was the one thing that allowed him to keep the beast at bay recently.

"Yes," he said gently. How he ached to reach for her, to draw her in his arms and nuzzle her to help her relax.

"You changed me."

He paused, frowning slightly as he was unsure where these questions were leading.

"Yes."

"Why?"

He flinched. He deserved that. He deserved her questions and suspicions. Although she didn't seem suspicious or upset, her gaze was merely curious, her head tilted to the side in a way that made him think, Adorable. He studied her for a moment and had figured she should hunt first before the questions were answered. But, as usual, he was powerless to stop his need to take care of her, to make her feel better and give her everything that she wanted.

"I know what you thought," he started off by whispering. Her face fell a little and she glanced away, making him feel cold—even by vampire standards—and he knew he deserved that, too. "I heard your conversation with Emmett, and Edward told me some of your thoughts."

"You should've heard them first. I was going to tell you eventually."

The stark lack of emotion in her voice made him flinch again. Dull and lifeless as if she hadn't just woken up with forever in front of her.

"I know you might not believe me or even trust me right now. But I hope you believe me when I say that your thoughts are very far from the truth." She didn't look at him still, but her head tilted to show she was listening. "There's nothing in all of creation that I love more than I love you. You're the most important thing to ever exist to me. I don't think you can truly understand what it was like to watch you die that day, because unlike the first time, I couldn't change you and make you better. I failed you, as your husband, your partner, and your mate." He sighed shakily, glad she wasn't interrupting and hoped that she was listening carefully. "I spent thirty years with nothing but thoughts of you and your death to comfort me. I should've died like most vampires do after their mates go, but I thoughts it a more fitting punishment to be forced to live without you for the rest of eternity, and watch you die over and over again. I discovered over the years many ways I could've stopped it, but it didn't matter because you were already gone. February fourteenth 1984, I woke up. I don't know how or why, but everything was suddenly in focus and I felt myself living again. Don't get me wrong, inside I was still dead, because you were. But I was existing and I knew that my punishment must continue."

It was then he paused because she gifted him then with the sight of her soft, fond smile and he had to fist his hands at his side to resist reaching for her as his body ached. "What, my dear?"

"You woke up on my birthday. Literally my day of birth. I was born on February fourteenth 1984."

Wow. He never even considered that, but a quick count back from her recent birthday; twenty-three years had him nodding.

"I suppose the mating call was waking me up because it new you were coming." He paused. "The mating call never weakens and never goes away." He remembered the horror at hearing her theories. "It only gets stronger. And it's never a one-sided bond, it's something that has to exist within two people for it to even be there." He paused. "Do you feel your bond weakening?" He wasn't sure he was ready for the answer. If she said yes...

To his great relief she didn't. She looked hesitant as if she, too, were afraid, but slowly she shook her head. He let out a breath and nodded quickly.

"Neither do I. It's stronger now. But... You asked why. My reason for this story is to try and explain in words that don't seem strong enough for my intention, to get across my meaning and need for you to understand why I had decided not to change you."

She looked frightened and he barely bit back the beast who wanted to touch her.

"You got a second chance that no vampire ever did. You got to be mortal again, you got the chance at not being damned to this life. I know what you wanted, but I couldn't take that away from you again."

"So you regret changing me, then. Both times." Her hollow voice and horrible words had him panicking and without thinking, reached over to cup her cheek. Immediately his body relaxed, and he saw hers do the same. Her eyes fluttered shut and she leaned into his touch.

"No," he said thickly, firmly. "Never. Those years with you were the best of my existence. And being with you now, getting this second chance? I don't understand it, but we have it. I thought my reasoning behind not changing you was sound, but I know now I was blind. Because for you to have the second chance you deserve, and for me to try and make up for a fraction of everything I've done to you, you needed to change. Like Emmett said, it's your life. But you're mine. I thought I was doing the right thing, but the right thing was to listen to you. You wanted it, and as your mate I should've provided it. And I'm so sorry, my sweet Abigail. If you'll allow me, and if," he swallowed thickly, "if you'll stay with me, I want to spend our forever proving to you how much you mean to me and how much I love you."

She was silent then and he let her process what he was saying. He was sure he died a thousand times right then, waiting to hear her verdict, if she would grant him the absolute honor of staying with him and allowing him to prove his love to her. And becoming my wife again.

Another minute passed and then another and if he could sweat, he would be drenched. As it was, he simply let his thumb stroke her cheek that he was still holding, basking in the feel of her skin beneath his fingers that, while he would miss the flush of her humanity, he loved the way she was so strong and unbreakable.

Finally, after another five minutes of agony, she moved quickly and he thought she even surprised herself. She moved from the bed to his lap in an instant, fingers winding up in his hair and tugging him closer, her arms tight around him. He froze in shock, sitting there for just a moment without moving, but then he unthawed and he wasted no time in wrapping his arms around her and nuzzling into her neck like he had wanted to since the beginning.

She purred and he smiled; the sound meant so much to him. It meant that not only was she trying to comfort him, but she was content and happy. Despite everything, he made her happy and he vowed to never see a frown on her face for the rest of their forever.

Her grip was slowly tightening and, as most newborns, she didn't realize her own strength. He didn't want her to let go, but he sighed softly.

"Sweetheart, remember you're a lot stronger than me right now," he said as gently as he could. But as soon as her words registered, she was gone from his embrace and across the room with wide, fearful eyes staring at him. He was at her side a moment later, soothing hands on her arms. She didn't gift him by touching him, but she didn't move away again and that was precious enough.

"Hey, you didn't hurt me," he cooed softly, taking a step closer to her and taking a leap by leaning down to nuzzle her. "It'll take you a little while to get used to your strength, remember? But you won't hurt me and you won't break me."

She studied him for a moment and what she saw on his face must've soothed her before she reached for him again, this time her touch was more gentle. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist, tugging her close to him. He gently ran his fingers over her back, instinctually leaning into nuzzle her, and was once again gifted with soft purrs.

"I love you," she whispered and his heart nearly gave another beat. He smiled against her skin adoringly, humming as he, too, began to purr, his beast content for the moment to just hold their mate and allow themselves to feel her presence close.

"I love you, too, sweet girl." She pulled back some, his eyes questioning, but then she gave him one of those most precious gifts he'll ever receive: she honored him with her kiss.