thanks for the sweet reviews! new girl fans are the best. without further ado, season 2! (btw, the song referenced is the one that played over the zoo scene at the end of the episode. little trivia for ya ;)

SEASON 2: Eggs

Schmidt, Nick, and Winston all rolled their eyes as the song started over in Jess's bedroom. "Bun in the Oven" by Eleni Mandell had been playing on repeat for three hours straight, and Schmidt was beyond ready to snap the record in half. Why was Jess even listening to this song? It didn't apply! He knew the lyrics inside and out by now, it's not really that deep of a song. This chick has a bun in the oven but no man to care for it. That was not Jess's situation at all, how was this supposed to make her feel better? Schmidt sighed, shaking his head. Try as he might, he would never truly understand this woman.

"Well, someone should talk to her," Nick stated, breaking the silence in the kitchen. He stood off his bar stool and started off for Jess's room, when Winston interrupted.

"Hey guys, why don't we just leave? Matter of fact, why didn't we leave two hours ago, before I wished the 'man in the TV' would break through it and kill that depressed lady?"

"No, Nick's right," Schmidt responded. "This is my punishment for making the executive decision to let a girl move in here in the first place. I'll go in there."

"Or Schmidt, I could-"

"I'm already going!" He thought he saw Nick's shoulders slump a little as he retreated back to his stool at the kitchen island, but Schmidt ignored it and knocked on Jess's door, calling her name as he pushed it open a crack. When she didn't throw anything at him, he entered her room and closed the door behind him. She sat up on her bed, making room for him without saying anything.

"Hey Jess, I just wanted to apologize for earlier. We were just messing around but I have a feeling," he quirked his eyebrow and not-so-subtly nodded toward the record player, "that you're taking it a little seriously."

"Of course I'm taking it seriously, Schmidt! I might not be able to have children, and you guys are all joking and laughing about which one of you gets to impregnate me! Still a no, by the way. For all three of you."

"Come on, you haven't even gotten your results yet! Plenty of women have kids at your age; my mother didn't have me until she was 35, and look how great I turned out!" he laughed, and then immediately sobered up when he saw her look. "Don't you think you're overreacting? Just a tad?"

She softened a little at his words, the crazy in her eyes dissipating as she pondered what he said. But as soon as it left, it returned, brighter than ever. "I mean, maybe, but... no! No!" He sighed and sat down on the end of her bed, and she pulled her legs up, holding her knees close to her chest. "You honestly don't know what I'm going through, Schmidt. None of you do. Cece's not even worried about it. But... I'm a planner. I've been planning on the whole marriage and two-point-five kids thing for as long as I can remember. Now I find out, I might have missed my chance? When did that happen? I'm nowhere near ready for any of that stuff, but I just… I thought I had more time. Being a woman seriously sucks, Schmidt. You will never have to worry about this. What if I never find someone to do this with? What if I never even had the chance to be a mother? What if it doesn't happen for me?" She dissolved into sobs and he sighed, patting her knee. She clumsily reached for his hand and gripped his fingers tightly. They sat together for a few minutes, until her tears subsided and she hastily brushed them away with a "Sorry."

"Come on Jess, look at you. You bake cookies every day, you know the words to practically every Disney song ever written, you have the perfect breasts for nursing-" he paused and rerouted his pep talk as she cringed at his words. "Look, you… you spend all day with children and, not only do you tolerate it, you actually LIKE them and want go back the next day. You were made to be a mother. This is going to happen for you."

Schmidt squeezed her fingers, and she responded by tightening her grip on his hand. He didn't know exactly when it was that he softened to her; maybe it was when they watched Curly Sue together the week she moved in, or maybe when she threw him his 29th birthday party (if you forget the awkward ending when he tried to kiss her). Maybe it was the Valentine's Day they spent together or the time she helped him learn to relax. As he pondered this, Schmidt realized that they were closer than he thought. They had actually spent a lot of time together since she moved in, and... he didn't hate it? Maybe she really was his friend, maybe she could make him laugh and he could take care of her when she needed it. God knows he needed someone like that in his life; Nick was his best friend, but it's not like the guy was someone Schmidt could have a conversation with about feelings (no matter how hard he tried). So maybe Jess could be that friend for him. And maybe she needed someone like him to be that for her, too.

"Thanks, Schmidt. You know, you can be helpful and actually kinda sweet when you're not taking your shirt off and acting like a douchebag."

"Yeah," he replied softly. "Mention that to Cece the next time you see her, will you?"

Jess rolled her eyes, but gave him a sympathetic smile. "Of course."

"And Jess, I just want you to know... I meant what I said earlier." She cocked her head at him, eyes swimming with questions. The corner of his lips turned up in response before continuing, "Let me know when you want to get pregnant, cause I'm ready." Now, just because she was his newly-appointed "best friend #2" didn't mean he had to turn off all the Schmidt charm.

"Schmidt!"

"Hey baby, Schmidt sperm cannot be denied! I'm surprised you haven't gotten pregnant yet just by being around me…"

"Oh God, Schmidt. Jar!"

"I mean, look at this!" he smirked as she pushed (or tried to) him out of her bedroom. He knew he was being a douche, but she was laughing as he took off his shirt and waved it above his head, yelling, "You want you future kids to look like me, you know you do!"

"God, jar! Again!" she squealed, shoving her hands toward his chest and pushing with all her strength, falling into him a little as she realized just how physically weak she actually was. Schmidt kept swinging the shirt above his head like a lasso, and she was alternating between trying to shove him out of her room and reaching up to take the shirt from his grasp; eventually their limbs tangled together and they stumbled backwards, falling a little against her door. She could not. stop. laughing.

Jess felt like something had changed in their relationship that night. She had always loved him (she loved them all, from the minute they said she could move in), but she finally felt like he was looking at her like a friend and not just the easiest way to get into Cece's pants. He also had his own way of cheering her up; Nick was good at talking to her and letting her know she was never alone, and making her feel good about herself, and he was nice to cuddle into when she needed a hug, and he was good about getting her worked up and making her feel passionate, and... She was getting off track. Winston seemed to be a good voice of reason, somehow seeing through her crazy and providing the clearest solution (though she sensed a little crazy of his own behind that smile), but Schmidt made her laugh. He also made her roll her eyes more than anyone else she'd ever met, but she liked that he felt like the brother she never had. She's not sure how many real siblings joked about wanting to sleep together (hopefully none), but she liked their relationship the way it was and was glad to have him in her life.

"What the hell is going on!?" Their heads snapped up toward Nick's bedroom door, where he had emerged and was staring at them with a… unique expression on his face. Part confusion, part envy. They quickly separated and Schmidt rolled his eyes before staring pointedly at Nick.

"Oh please, don't be jealous. It's just friendship Nicholas, nothing more," he said with a smile, pulling away from Jess and throwing his shirt over her head onto her bedroom floor. "You can keep that. A little memento for you, Jessica." Jess laughed awkwardly, rubbing her arm and looking anywhere but at either of them. Schmidt took his cue and walked back into his room, wishing that one of them would just make a move already; the sexual tension in their loft was so thick you could practically cut it with a knife.

"I'm not…" Nick shook his head and closed his eyes tightly. When he opened them, he found Jess's and tried to give her a comforting smile. She turned to leave for her bedroom, but his hand reached out and his fingers brushed the inside of her wrist. Her breath hitched and she felt electricity running through her arm where he touched her. "Hey Jess, you okay?"

"Yeah, I think I will be," she bit back a smile and shook her head, waving off Nick's concern and backing into her bedroom. She'd probably have another panic attack tomorrow when Sadie actually called with the results, but for tonight, she was good. "Goodnight, Nick."