Chapter 7:
Dean walked ahead of Candy, almost protectively. There hadn't been a time when Candy, Dean, and Sam had all been in the same room since Sam's return. Unfortunately, Sam came to the door before Dean and Candy could even get into Bobby's. Sam gave Dean a disapproving look, then walked past him to get to Candy. He brushed Candy's wild curls out of her face and took a deep breath.
"Cas told me you were really sick... I was about to drive back and make sure you were okay. I'm glad you're alright now," Sam told her sweetly. Candy looked down at her feet nervously,
"I'm fine. Thanks to Dean. He saved my life."
"I'm sure he did," Sam sighed. He turned back to his brother, and he thanked him with a nod of gratitude. Dean shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "Come on. Let's get you guys something to eat. Bobby tried to make eggs, but they came out a little burnt. The good news is, we have cereal. That smores kind."
"My favorite," Candy smiled.
"I know." Sam ushered the two into the house where Bobby greeted them happily. Dean and Bobby sat in the living room to talk, while Sam took Candy into the kitchen to make her a bowl of cereal. She sat at the table awkwardly, resting her cheek on her hand. After a moment, Sam set the bowl in front of her and sat in the adjacent seat. "What happened to you back in Arcadia, Candy?"
"It was a ghost," she chuckled, "which I completely called ahead of time. It's always a ghost when it comes to antiques. But it was different because she was infecting people with something that hurt like a bitch and made them weak. Once they were slowed down enough, she would kill them. All for taking her stuff. At least, that's what we think. We didn't have too much time to really investigate it thoroughly since I was dying."
"I should've stayed," Sam frowned. "I thought it would be an easy case, and that you two could handle it on your own. I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault, Sam. Don't worry about it," Candy waved him off. "It's done and it's handled. I'm alive. That's all that matters." She watched his face carefully, trying to read his emotions. "We figured you'd come back to Bobby's. Cas visited me. He said you were helping him with Raphael." Candy held out her arm to show Sam the bandages. "There was an angel named Azreth that came after you at the motel. He caught me outside while I was visiting the vending machine. Got me pretty good before Dean heard me screaming and came to run him off."
"Azreth?" Sam sat back, his muscles in his jaw and arms tensing. "I'm going to kill that asshole. I'm sorry, Candy. That was all my fault."
"That's what Cas said, too. He blamed himself. Neither of you are right, though. If it's anyones fault, it's my stupid stomach's. I needed a snack. It was just wrong place, wrong time. He had no idea me and Dean were even there, so if he hadn't seen me outside, then nothing would have happened," Candy reassured him. "I don't know what part you're playing in all of this, but this isn't your war, Sam. I love Cas to death, but... you don't need to be putting yourself in the middle of this. You could get hurt."
"You'll be fine without me," Sam grimaced. "You've done fine without me for an entire year. You have Dean."
"That's not fair."
"Isn't it? My girlfriend is sleeping with my brother. I don't really think that's fair either, but it's a little late for that now, isn't it?" Sam stood suddenly, turning away from her. "You're all I thought about. I couldn't wait to come back to you after I was done helping Cas."
"I'm sorry, Sam... It was a long time before Dean and I even let ourselves get close to one another. We didn't know you were coming back, and we needed each other... We both love you, and we care about you," Candy defended herself.
"Do you? Do you still love me?" Sam whipped around to ask her.
"Of course."
"The same way?"
"Sam... It's not that easy. Please... I do love you, but I love Dean. I've been spending all my time with Dean. I can't just let that go. Please understand."
"Oh, I understand. I get it."
"Don't hate me."
"I don't. I never could," Sam flopped back down into his seat. He put his forehead into his hands and groaned in frustration. "How am I supposed to be okay? I still feel the same way about you... I wish I could hate you. It would make it so much easier, because loving you is going to hurt like a bitch." He looked up at her, "Tell me what to do."
"I don't even know what to do, Sam." Candy laid her head down on the table in frustration. "I feel like every move I make is wrong. I know you're angry, but tell me this, if you were gone for good, wouldn't you rather I end up with Dean? Someone you trust who can keep me safe."
"I would have rather he left you alone. That way you could get out of the life, and you could always be safe and happy. Azreth wouldn't want anything from you if Dean hadn't dragged you along with him because he's afraid to be alone," Sam huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I thought that with me gone... I thought you wouldn't be anywhere near Dean. I thought you would finally be safe again."
"How could I be? I know what's out there. I knew how to hunt enough to make it dangerous for me. Even before Dean. I wouldn't have stopped helping people every chance I got. And do you really think that working in that god-awful bar that Dean left me in would have been safe? Every night I had to worry that someone was going to follow me outside. I was scared of taking out the trash. The way the guys in that bar talked to me made me feel disgusting inside. I hated it..." She raised her head and looked up at Sam with watery eyes. "The only time in my life that I ever felt really safe is when I was with you and Dean... Because I knew you would take care of me."
"Candy, this life isn't for someone like you."
"Why not?" She rubbed her eyes in an attempt to hide her tears. "I've been with Dean for a year now, hunting everything that came up along the way. We never stopped or slowed down because it kept our minds off of the fact that you were gone. Being in life or death situations all the time actually made us feel more alive. For once... We were okay."
"Candy..."
"Don't think for one second that we ever stopped missing you. It was so hard on Dean not having you by his side. Not having his brother. As much as it hurt me... It hurt him more," Candy interrupted Sam. "I know how you're thinking about everything. As if we just got together because we could after you were gone, but it wasn't like that."
"I don't need you to explain any of this to me," Sam uncrossed his arms. All of his fury and rage started to fade away. Suddenly, while looking into Candy's teary eyes, Sam felt like he was the bad guy. "Please don't cry, Candy. Please... I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize," Candy told him, standing quickly and running out the front door. She didn't want anyone to see her cry. She was the only female in a house of males, and she didn't want to seem weak.
Sam stood in front of the door, debating on whether to follow her outside or not. Before he could make a decision, Dean came into the room. He looked into the kitchen for Candy, then to Sam.
"Where did Candy go?"
"She ran outside. She was crying," Sam admitted. "It was my fault, too. I was giving her a hard time."
"Damn it," Dean grumbled, starting towards the door. Sam stuck his arm out and stopped him before he could go any further. "What're you doing? I need to go make sure she's okay."
"I'll go. It's my fault anyways," Sam told him.
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why? Afraid I'll steal my girl back?" Sam grimaced at his older brother. Dean glared up at Sam, his muscles tensing. "I'm kidding," Sam rolled his eyes. "Look, it's my fault. I should be the one to fix it. I'll go." Despite Dean's protesting, Sam went after Candy.
Candy sat on the hood of one of the old cars in the lot, pulling her knees to her chest. Her head hurt from the constant conflict raging on inside of her. She was so torn between the Winchester brothers. It was impossible to forget how much she had loved Sam before he jumped into the pit, and even more impossible to forget the time that they spent together. At the same time, she was madly in love with Dean. There was so much passion between them, and there was a spark that wasn't there with Sam. Still, it was hard to figure out what was right and what she should do.
Sam rounded the corner and found Candy sitting on top of a car. At the sight of him, she hid her face in her knees. He felt bad, but not bad enough to just accept that she had gone to Dean after he was gone. In fact, he didn't know if he could ever accept it. The truth was, and would always remain to be, that Sam loved Candy.
"Hey," he said solemnly as he approached her. She ignored him. "Candy, please just listen to me." Once again, she ignored him. "Hey!" He said more sternly this time. When she remained silent, he decided to take matters into his own hands. He reached out and grabbed her ankles. Yanking them towards him, Sam pulled her to the edge of the car and placed himself between the legs that he had dragged away from her. She leaned back on her elbows, looking at Sam in confusion. Sam wrapped his arm around her waist and forced her to come forward. Only he didn't stop there. He pulled her so that she was pressing against his chest, then he wrapped his other arm around her as well. "Would you just listen to me," Sam groaned, hugging her tightly.
"I'm listening," Candy breathed, keeping her palms pressed flat against the hood of the car. She knew she shouldn't embrace Sam so affectionately, but part of her wanted to comfort him, too.
"You don't understand... I still love you. How am I supposed to see you with Dean and feel okay with it? How could I ever be okay with it?" He squeezed her tighter. "You were the first girl in all my life that I saw a future with. I thought... She might be the one. The one that I end up with."
"Sammy," she sighed, finallly returning the hug. "I'm sorry... I didn't think for one minute that you were coming back... Dean tried. He looked for any kind of way to bring you back. Except... I wouldn't let him make any deal with demons. I couldn't stand to lose him, too... If I thought you were going to be coming back, then I would have never... I wouldn't have even entertained the idea of being with Dean."
"I know... I know that, Candy. I just know that I've never loved someone so much." He burrowed his face in her hair, relishing the familiar sweet scent of strawberries that lingered there. Feeling awkward, Candy pulled away from Sam and slid off of the car. She started back towards the house, but suddenly Sam grabbed her by the arm and twirled her back around. She hit his chest with a light grunt. When she looked up at him for an explanation, Sam wasted no time pressing his lips against hers. Candy froze, her body going rigid while Sam kissed her with a passion that he'd never shown her before.
"Sam, no," Candy said once she regained the ability to pull away from Sam. "We can't do that, Sammy. We can't anymore."
"I'm sorry... I needed to feel that again..."
"You can't kiss me like that Sam. Not anymore," Candy frowned. "I'm sorry, but you just can't." She turned away from him and walked back inside, touching her fingertips to her lips lightly. For some reason, all she wanted was to be in Dean's arms again. She needed to be comforted.