Story #2:
Death Berry
Berrypaw has never fit in with the other apprentices. So no one is surprised when she receives her first sign from StarClan, and becomes a medicine cat apprentice, and is happy. But when she meets Russetfeather, a young warrior who visits her from StarClan, everything changes.
"Ha! Got you, Berrypaw!"
Berrypaw sighed. Stonepaw was pinning her down with one big gray paw, looking triumphant.
"Very good, Stonepaw," his mentor said brightly.
Berrypaw waited for her mentor to say nothing. She wasn't disappointed. She sighed again. She was completely worthless at battle training.
Stonepaw leapt off of Berrypaw, smugly puffing out his chest.
Berrypaw lay on her back, gazing up at the sky. That cloud looked a bit like a cat…
"Berrypaw! Get up!" snapped her mentor Ashclaw.
Berrypaw got to her paws, scowling. "Okay, okay, keep your tail on!" She walked over to him.
He cuffed her around the head. "You never do anything right," he muttered grumpily.
Berrypaw sighed. It was true. She was the laughingstock of all the other apprentices. "I know, Ashclaw. I'm sorry." Really, she wasn't sorry. She was tired of trying to be someone she wasn't. She glared at Ashclaw, scowling. He glared back.
"Well, come on," he muttered, flicking his tail and beckoning for her to follow. She did, still scowling, dragging her paws. She hated Ashclaw. He was such a mouse-brain. And he didn't like her, either. As they padded to the camp, she could feel his glare burning into her back. She frowned. He always seemed to be mad at her.
They entered camp. After having a bite to eat, Berrypaw curled up in the apprentices' den, feeling miserable.
I will never be a warrior, she thought, tucking her nose beneath her tail and sighing.
"Hey, Berrpaw!" called Stonepaw, padding in and sneering at her. "Today's battle practice was too easy! Next time we should bring Splashkit," he added, "I bet even she'd be more of a challenge than you!"
Berrypaw ignored him, even as her denmates, Brightpaw and Seedpaw, laughed. She closed her eyes and curled up a little tighter. Go away, she thought. Please?
They fell silent, their voices fading away, and she felt relief wash over her. But then she also felt blades of grass, prickling her paw pads, and her nose. She opened her eyes and lifted her head. She was in the middle of a wide-open, sunny field, with wildflowers waving in the wind all around her. She gasped.
"W-what?" she meowed aloud. "What happened?"
A laughing golden tom with amber eyes was chasing his littermates. He waved his tail cheerily at her and then bounded away. To her left, two mates were sleeping together. On her right, a tall black familiar-looking she-cat was padding toward her. "You're in StarClan," the she-cat mewed. "My name is Darkflame, and I'm Spiderwillow's mother."
"Spiderwillow, the medicine cat?"
Darkflame nodded.
"You do look similar," Berrypaw observed.
Darkflame laughed musically. "Yes, we do. I'm so proud of my daughter. She had done so much for her Clan. And she will continue to do so. But," she purred, her eyes growing brighter, "I think she needs an apprentice."
"Who?" Berrypaw wondered. Then she gasped. "You can't mean me?"
Darkflame smiled. "Of course I mean you. You are…different from the other apprentices. I think this is your path. When you wake up, go to Spiderwillow's den and tell her about this. I will try and leave her a sign."
Berrypaw beamed. She could hardly wait. She had a feeling that being a medicine cat was exactly what she was meant to do.
Darkflame purred and touched her nose to Berrypaw's forehead. "Good luck, Berrypaw."
"Thank you, Darkflame! Thank you so much!" Berrypaw cried, and then her eyes opened. She sprang out of her nest, not caring that it was the middle of the night. She trod on Seedpaw's tail on the way out of the den, and he hissed at her. But she was too happy to care about that, either. She ran straight to the medicine cat's den.
"Spiderwillow! Spiderwillow!" she yowled. Her paws hit something squisy and furry and moving, and she leapt back.
"Mmm! What! Whoizzit!" Spiderwillow scrambled to her paws. "Who's hurt?"
"No one!" Berrypaw cried. "I just had a dream. From StarClan!"
"Berrypaw?" Spiderwillow's green eyes narrowed. "Is that you?"
"Yes," Berrypaw panted, "yes, it's me!"
"You seem excited," Spiderwillow purred, amused. "Well, tell me about this dream."
"I saw a cat who said she was your mother. Her name was Darkflame."
Spiderwillow's eyes widened slightly. "Go on."
"She said she was very proud of you, and that you're doing great stuff, and you'll keep doing great stuff for a while, but she thinks you need and apprentice, and she picked ME!" Berrypaw said this all in one breath, bouncing up and down and grinning. She hadn't been this excited about anything in a long time.
"Hm." Spiderwillow's voice was gentle. "Berrypaw, being a medicine cat is a big commitment."
Berrypaw stopped bouncing and became solemn. "I know."
"You can't ever have a mate or kits," Spiderwillow reminded.
Berrypaw nodded.
"And you need to deal with very sick and injured cats. And," she continued seriously, "sometimes they die, and there's nothing you can do."
Berrypaw hesitated. But then she responded with equal seriousness, "But you also can save cats. And that's what I want. I don't want to fight, I want to heal."
Spiderwillow smiled. "Okay. If you're sure."
"Absolutely," said Berrypaw firmly.
The next day, Spiderwillow discovered her stock of death berries was practically overflowing.
Ashclaw was very happy to be rid of his apprentice—however, there was no end to his bragging. He was trying to make everyone belive that somehow, it was him who was the reason for Berrypaw's sign and medicine cat apprenticeship. She snorted to herself from where she was sitting in the entrance to the medicine cat den, chewing on a sparrow. That was ludicrous. How could he have possibly influenced StarClan's choice?
"Berrypaw!"
"Coming!" Berrypaw hurriedly swallowed her last few bites of sparrow and hurried over to Spiderwillow's side.
"Can you sort these herbs? I promised Breezedust I'd check on his mate."
Berrypaw rolled her eyes. Daisypetal had just discovered she was expecting kits a few moons ago, and now her mate, Breezedust, was going crazy with worry.
"I know," Spiderwillow sighed. "Toms."
They shared a grin, and Berrypaw nodded. "Yeah, I'll sort these." She began separating the yarrow from the coltsfoot and water mint.
"Thanks." Her mentor quickly ducked out.
Berrypaw was carefully sorting the herbs when suddenly Seedpaw streaked inside. "Where's Spiderwillow?" he panted. "Stonepaw's hurt!"
Ashclaw and Stonepaw's mentor carried in the gray apprentice, who covered in blood.
Berrypaw gasped, horrified. "Spiderwillow's out—" But there was no time to fetch Spiderwillow. Berrypaw grabbed a pawful of cobwebs and wadded them up, heaping them onto the gaping wound on Stonepaw's neck to stop the bleeding. He whimpered.
"It's okay," she said briskly. "You're going to be okay." She removed the already-soaked wad of cobwebs and slapped on some more. "Just stay calm. Here, have a couple of these." She nudged some poppy seeds toward him, just a few to ease the pain, not enough to make him sleep. He licked them up, wincing.
Brightpaw rushed in, wailing, "Is he gonna die?"
"Quiet," Berrypaw commanded, and shockingly, everyone fell silent. She peeled off the cobwebs and got more ready. She chewed up some dock leaves and marigold into a poultice, spat it onto her paw, and spread it over the wound gently. Then she but the cobwebs over it. Stonepaw whined in pain.
Just then, Spiderwillow arrived. She pushed through the cats and gasped at the sight of Stonepaw. "What happened?"
"A hawk grabbed him!" cried Brightpaw.
"He almost got taken, but he fought it. He was amazing," said Seedpaw.
Spiderwillow peeked under the cobwebs. "You did very well, Berrypaw. I think he'll be alright."
Berrypaw nearly burst with pride at her mentor's praise. But she gazed down at Stonepaw in worry. He could've died. She could've done something wrong…
Spiderwillow's tail tapped her shoulder. "Go get something to eat and then rest. You did a great job."
Berrypaw nodded and did as Spiderwillow said.
Berrypaw opened her eyes. She was in a bright, warm place, with grass beneath her paws and leaves above her head. The sounds and scents of prey filled the air.
What am I doing out in the forest? Berrypaw wondered. Did Spiderwillow ask me to gather something for her…? But try as she might, Berrypaw couldn't remember. And besides, this didn't look like any part of the forest I'd seen before. She turned in a small circle, frowning.
"You're dreaming," a warm, friendly voice meowed. She whirled around to see a young, russet-colored warrior with a fluffy tail and a white blaze on his chest. He was sitting neatly on a fallen log with his tail wrapped snugly around his paws, his green eyes sparkling.
"Oh! Hello," said Berrypaw, surprised and a little embarrassed. "I'm in StarClan?"
He nodded. There was something about the gleam in his eye that made her heart leap. "I'm Russetfeather."
"I'm—"
"Berrypaw," he interrupted her, "I know. I've been wanting to meet you for a while. I'd heard Spiderwillow got an apprentice, and I was curious…but you haven't come here often."
"Well…I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you sooner," she said. "So you know Spiderwillow?"
"Oh, yes," he said. "I'm the reason she wanted to become a medicine cat. I was her best friend, but then I died of Greencough."
"Oh. I'm sorry," said Berrypaw uncertainly.
"Oh, don't be!" he laughed. "It was a long time ago. I hardly remember it." He jumped gracefully down from the log and padded toward her. "I hope to see you more often."
"You—you don't have a prophecy for me, or anything?" she asked.
He drew back slightly, looking apologetic. "No. I'm sorry, you're right I shouldn't bother you if it's not important."
"No, that's not what I meant," she said quickly. "It's just, well…" She hadn't thought any cat would've taken time out of their life to see her. She smiled. "…it's nothing. I'd be glad to visit you while I'm asleep. Anytime."
"Really?"
"Definitely," she said firmly.
He purred. "Thank you, Berrypaw."
Her heart quivered. "You're more than welcome."
The last thing she saw bfore she awoke were his green eyes, sparkling at her.
She woke up feeling oddly giddy. She climbed out of her nest and shook out her long white fur. "Spiderwillow?"
The long-limbed black she-cat got up, stretching. "What is it, Berrypaw?"
Berrypaw opened her mouth, but then hesitated. Why should she tell her mentor about this? This was private. It was between her and Russetfeather. No one else needed to know about it.
"Nothing, really," she said. "Do you need me to sort any herbs today?"
Stonepaw was better than he had been yesterday, and was healing quickly. He was a little grumpy, being cooped up inside the medicine cat den all the time and not being able to go out and hunt or battle with Seedpaw and Brightpaw. But he helped Berrypaw sort some herbs, and was much nicer to her now that she'd saved his life.
When night came, Berrypaw was swept into dream, where Russetfeather was waiting.
"Berrypaw!" he meowed cheerfully.
"Hi, Russetfeather," she purred. "How are you?"
"Bored," he admitted. "There's not much to do here." He padded over to her. "Tell me about your life," he said eagerly. "How are things in the clans?"
So Berrypaw told him about everything. Her life and apprenticeship, the hawk that had attacked Stonepaw, the border squabbles, the prey-stealings, the catmint shortage…everything. He listened with interest to every word she said. Never had anyone paid attention to her so dutifully like that.
When she reached the part about her saving Stonepaw, Russetfeather sat up straighter and stared at her in open admiration. "Wow. Darkflame did right, choosing you as the medicine cat apprentice."
Berrypaw felt a little embarrassed. She scuffed her paw along the ground and smiled shyly. "Thank you."
By the time she was finished, it was time for her to go.
"I'll be back soon," she promised, and her heart ached at the thought of leaving his company. She scolded herself, reminding herself that they'd only just met. But somehow, she felt as though she'd known him for many moons. It was so easy to talk to him—and he listened, too, and shared his own stories occasionally. He was funny, he was friendly, he was kind. And he was smart, too, and not scared to share his opinion on things. Not scared of anything.
As nights passed, Berrypaw began to feel as though her days were dreams, and at night was when she really woke up. Her dreams were the only thing that seemed to matter anymore.
It wasn't long before Spiderwillow noticed.
"Berrypaw, something's up.
"Hmm?" Berrypaw looked up from the herbs she'd been "sorting". In reality, she'd been staring at them, thinking of Russetfeather.
"You haven't been yourself recently," said Spiderwillow with a frown. "Your mind always seems to be somewhere else. Yesterday you put the yarrow in with the borage, and you tried to give Seedpaw blackberry leaves for the thorn in his paw!" She was starting to sound exasperated.
"I—I did? I'm sorry, Spiderwillow." Berrypaw hung her head, ashamed. "I just…I guess I wasn't paying attention."
"And that's what worries me!" Spiderwillow snapped. "You've been so forgetful. It almost seems like you're sleepwalking!"
Berrypaw looked up at her mentor guiltily. Sometimes it feels that way, too, she admitted silently.
Suddenly it dawned on Spiderwillow. "You're in love."
Berrypaw shook her head quickly—too quickly. "No, of course not!" She wasn't—was she?
"Don't deny it, I can tell. I don't know how I missed it before." The medicine cat narrowed her eyes. "Who is it? Stonepaw?"
"No way!" Berrypaw wrinkled her nose. Ew.
"Then who? I know you're in love with someone, Berrypaw." Spiderwillow began to pace, looking angry and also pained. "I thought you understood this, Berrypaw!"
But at that very moment, her lecture was cut off by a yowl of, "They're coming! The kits are coming!"
Spiderwillow and Berrypaw's eyes locked. Spiderwillow's gaze clearly said, We'll deal with this later. Berrypaw, understanding, nodded curtly. They bounded out and went into the nursery. Daisypetal was moaning in pain. Berrypaw ran and fetched a stick from outside for the queen to bite.
"Is everything okay?" Daisypetal's mate, Breezedust, shouldered between them, making worried exclamations.
"Everything's fine," snapped Spiderwillow. "It would be better if you just went outside."
"No, I'm staying with my mate," Breezedust mewed stubbornly.
Berrypaw suddenly had an idea. She darted back to the medicine cat den and brought back quite a few poppy seeds. "Here, take these," she offered. "They'll help you feel calmer."
Breezedust quickly lapped them all up. He was asleep in minutes.
"Good one," Spiderwillow meowed, her voice still a bit tense. She turned her attentions back to Daisypetal. "You're doing great, Daisypetal."
The queen moaned loudly.
Soon, the first kit slipped out. But something was wrong.
"The blood," Berrypaw mewed quietly.
Spiderwillow nodded, and with a flick of her tail, they both ran back to the medicine cat den.
Spiderwillow turned to her stores of herbs, and then stopped. "Berrypaw, where are the raspberry leaves I asked you to gather?"
Berrypaw opened her mouth. Her jaw hung there for a second. "I—I don't know," she stuttered.
"Go get some, now!" Spiderwillow demanded.
"B-but I don't know where they are!"
Spiderwillow hissed, her eyes ablaze. "I'll go get them. You stay with Daisypetal."
"But—"
"Go. Now!"
Berrypaw nodded and ran to the nursery. She set her paw on Daisypetal's flank. "You're doing great," she meowed, trying to copy Spiderwillow's calm, comforting tone. But her voice turned shrill and shaky.
Daisypetal let out a heart-wrenching scream. Berrypaw started to feel shaky all over. "You're fine, you're doing fine," she repeated in a panicky voice. The second kit slipped out. Berrypaw began licking the two kits with firm strokes of her tongue, but they didn't move. Both dead.
Daisypetal screamed again. Come on, Spiderwillow, come on! Berrypaw thought. "You're gonna be okay," she meowed aloud. "Just hang in there."
But then, the last kit slipped out, and Daisypetal fell still.
"No!" Berrypaw choked out. "No, no! StarClan, no!"
Berrypaw's stomach turned over in sorrow and horror. "No," she sobbed. Then she saw the tiny ginger kit, and she began to lick it, quickly and roughly. After a moment, the kit began wriggling. It was alive. "Shh," she whispered to it as it squealed. Songkit, she thought in her head. You are Songkit, little one.
Spiderwillow rushed in, but she was too late, and she realized it at once. She dropped the herbs she was holding and bowed her head. "Daisypetal, find you place in StarClan," she meowed softly.
Berrypaw huddled around the tiny Songkit. "Spiderwillow," she whispered. "He's Songkit."
Spiderwillow looked over at the kits, two dead, one alive. "Songkit," she murmured. "I think it's the right name, Berrypaw."
Berrypaw nodded, too choked up to speak. She licked Songkit. He squealed again.
It's my fault, she thought numbly as Spiderwillow took the kit away from her. I was supposed to collect those raspberry leaves. I wasn't paying attention. I should have been paying attention to Spiderwillow. Maybe I'm not supposed to be a medicine cat apprentice after all.
She dreamt of Russetfeather that night.
The moment she spotted him, she rushed forward and buried her face in his fur.
"Oh, Russetfeather, Daisypetal—she—"
"I know," he whispered, leaning into her. "She's just arrived. It wasn't your fault, Berrypaw. She knows that. We all do."
"Russetfeather, you are a great friend," she whispered.
He stiffened slightly. "But just…just a friend?"
Berrypaw paused. She leaned back and saw apprehension and hesitation on his face.
"No," she said. "No, you're right. You're more than just a friend."
He purred. So did she. She stretched up and touched her nose to his. Then she buried her face in his chest fur again. He set his chin on top of her head and let out a little sigh. Berrypaw smiled. "I love you, Russetfeather," she whispered.
"I love you, too," he murmured into the fur between her ears.
Berrypaw was playing with Songkit and Stonepaw in the center of camp. It had been two moons since Daisypetal's death. Berrypaw had still not forgiven herself for it, no matter how much Spiderwillow tried to insist that it was not her fault.
Of course it was my fault, she thought bitterly, and Spiderwillow knows it. She just doesn't want me to feel bad.
Songkit squealed with glee as he pounced on Stonepaw's twitching tail. Stonepaw smiled and gave the tiny kit a gentle cuff around the ears. "He's adorable, isn't he?"
Berrypaw nodded, gazing at the small ginger kit. He stood and padded over to her, purring. "Mama," he said.
Stonepaw laughed as if it was a joke, but Berrypaw felt a catch in her throat. This kit would never know his real mother, and it was all because of her.
But she felt something else, too...love. She leaned over and gave him a lick on the head. "No, I'm not your mother," she said gently.
He shrugged his little shoulders, as if to say, It's all the same to me. Then he bounded back to Stonepaw to try and catch the gray apprentice's twitching tail again. "Papa," Songkit giggled, rubbing against Stonepaw's side, then reaching for his tail again.
Stonepaw and Berrypaw shared a glance. They both smiled.
Berrypaw stood up. "Keep an eye on him," she meowed to Stonepaw, trying to sound firm. Stonepaw nodded, still grinning, swishing his tail away from Songkit's paws.
Berrypaw padded into the medicine cat's den. "Spiderwillow," she said quietly, "I'm…I'm not sure I'm supposed to be a medicine cat."
Spiderwillow sat up with a jerk. "Nonsense, Berrypaw! Daisypetal's death wasn't your fault!"
Berrypaw flinched. "I…I should have gathered those raspberry leaves," she whispered.
Spiderwillow sighed. "It's as much my fault as yours, Berrypaw. I should have made sure you gathered those leaves. I should have been faster gathering them myself. Listen, Berrypaw, my mother chose you for a reason," she continued gently. "And I trust that."
Berrypaw smiled, her spirits lifting. "Thank you, Spiderwillow," she purred, padding over to touch noses with her mentor.
Spiderwillow smiled back. "No, thank you. My mother was right. I needed an apprentice. You've been like the daughter I could never have." There was a brief instance of wistfulness, and Berrypaw realized that maybe Spiderwillow had wanted a family of her own, once. It made Berrypaw think of Russetfeather. Her smile grew wider as she did. She couldn't wait to see him again tonight.
Over the moons, she and Russetfeather had become even closer than before. She looked forward to her nights with him, and still felt as though her days were dreams…but not as much.
Russetfeather always believed in her, and encouraged her. Without him…well, without him, there'd be no reason to live. At least that was how it felt. Without him there to tell her that she could do anything she put her mind to, that she was an amazing cat, that she shouldn't give up…without him, she'd be lost. She closed her eyes and pictured him, with his sparkling green eyes.
"Berrypaw?"
Berrypaw opened her eyes. "Sorry. Yes, Spiderwillow?"
Spiderwillow ran her tail down her apprentice's back. "Nothing," she murmured, but the look she gave Berrypaw seemed to say, You are my family.
Berrypaw blinked warmly. And you are mine, she tried to return with her eyes. Berrypaw's parents had died when she was very young, and she'd always wished she'd had someone there for her, like Seedpaw had Breezedust. Now she had someone. Family. And…now she had Russetfeather. And Songkit. And…maybe even Stonepaw. Her heart swelled. Family.
But…something was missing, she realized. She had Spiderwillow, she had Songkit, and she had Stonepaw. But Russetfeather was so far away. If only there was a way for him to come here, and live again. Then her heart would be complete.
"Russetfeather, I want you to talk to the leader of StarClan."
Russetfeather laughed. "There is no leader of StarClan," he meowed.
"Then—then talk to someone who's been here a while," Berrypaw said. "I want you to ask them if you can be reborn."
Russetfeather paused. "What are you saying?" he said slowly.
"I'm saying I can't take it anymore," she said in a rush. "I miss you in the daytime. I used to feel like my nights were when I was truly awake, when I was with you. And my days were the dreams. But I was wrong. They're just missing something. You."
Russetfeather purred shakily, curling against her. "I wish there was a way, Berrypaw, but—"
"But there is! It's been done before. Cats have been reborn." Her heart felt like it was being torn into pieces. He couldn't say there wasn't a way. He couldn't. There had to be a way. Life would never be complete without him.
"I'll…I'll ask about it," he said, but he sounded uncertain. His ears flattened back against his head.
"Thank you," she meowed, breathing out in relief. She touched her nose to his ear gently. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Russetfeather…I need you."
He bowed his head in understanding. "I know." He gazed at her with affection and admiration. "You're the greatest cat I've ever met."
She laughed, flicking his nose with her tail. "Don't tease."
"I'm being serious," he meowed.
"It's not true, Russetfeather, there are millions of other cats out there who are greater."
"Not to me," he said softly. "I'm being completely honest."
She smiled, leaning her head against him. "And that's why I love you."