CHAPTER 8
Next morning I woke up early and as soon I as I had opened my eyes, the dread seeped in. I reluctantly got out of bed and got ready. At eight, I went down to the library and found two books on advanced transfiguration and charms. Then I got back to my cottage and reluctantly flooed to my least favorite place on earth.
When I stepped down from the fire, I could smell the bacon and eggs. Since I was hungry, I realized I had to get down to the kitchen. I was only hoping that Malfoy wouldn't be there. But as I stepped inside, I realized it was one of my bad days.
It was the first time after our wedding night, when he had first brought me here, that we were coming face to face. I really didn't know how to react. All of a sudden, I did not feel like eating anymore. Malfoy was sitting there at the table, reading the Prophet. I slowly walked around the table and took the seat farthest from him. When he heard the scraping sound of chair, he looked up and acknowledged me with just a nod. Dippy brought us our plates. It smelled good, but I had really lost my appetite. I was intently staring at my plate in an attempt to look anywhere but Malfoy. After about five minutes, Dippy spoke up.
"Does Mistress wish to eat something else today?" she was looking at me as if she had committed some grave crime.
"What?" I said coming out of the stupor. I looked around; Malfoy was staring at me with blank gray eyes. I returned my gaze to Dippy and tried to reassure the poor creature. "No, no. It's absolutely fine. I- I was just thinking, that's it." I turned towards my plate and ate a mouthful. I could feel Malfoy's gaze on me. I kept stuffing my mouth with food and telling myself to chew and gulp. After about two minutes, Malfoy slowly got up and left. I gave a sigh of relief. If this was how my weekends would be, then I definitely wouldn't be looking forward to it.
For the rest of the day, I did not see him and Dippy informed me that he had gone out without saying when he would return. I only hoped it was after I returned to school on Monday morning. That night after dinner, when I went down to the walk-in closet to find my clothes, I realized that Dippy hadn't gone and retrieved them from the cottage at school. On the other hand, my rack was completely filled with new dress robes and muggle clothing.
"Dippy?" No sooner than I spoke, the elf appeared beside me. "Yes mistress?"
"Where are my clothes? Didn't you bring them from school?"
"Master Draco asked Dippy to tell Mistress that all these clothes are for her." She walked up to the rack and brought a new set of shorts and tank top and handed them over. "Master Draco says Mistress can wear these clothes when she is here." I looked at Dippy. It was surprising to see the way she talked about her master. It was a stark contrast to what Dobby had been like. Dippy seemed to genuinely like Malfoy, a matter that greatly surprised me.
I looked at the clothes Dippy had handed me. Though I did not wish to wear anything that Malfoy had bought, I saw no other option. I hadn't brought my stuff and none of the clothes that I had previously were fit to sleep in. So, with no other option available, I put them on. After flicking off the light I fell on the bed though it was hours before I could actually fall asleep.
Sunday morning I realized Malfoy was still not back. Very good news for me. The weather was murky, so I sat the entire day in front of the fireplace doing my home work, then proceeded to read one of the books. By the time of dinner, when Malfoy still hadn't returned, I was sure he would return only when I left. He did not wish to see me, not that I was complaining, but when I thought I was married to him, it did make me feel bad. I, like all girls, had wanted a loving husband. Here I was in a relation where the two hardly wished to see each other's face. 'And the Ministry expects a child in one year. Well that will take a miracle.' I returned to my room, changed and fell back on the bed, too tired to even pull the covers.
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I was face down on a cold floor. A maniacal laughter could be heard. I strained to open my eyes. The pain in my body and head was blinding. I pried one of my eyes open with great difficulty and found Bellatrix standing over me, wand in hand. "Tell me where did you find that sword?"
"I ….. I…. d-don't…" but before I could complete that sentence, a searing pain shot across my body, blinding me and rendering my brain numb. I was writhing in pain. It was unbearable. I wanted it to stop but it just wouldn't. I felt like my brain would split in two…. The pain just came again and again, refusing to stop or subside. I was gasping for breath. All of a sudden I felt a hand shaking me. The hands were rough and I was being shaken vigorously, yet the touch was warm and gentle. I was slowly calming down. Someone was here to save me. I had to only open my eyes to see who my savior was. I tried to open my eyes, but couldn't. I felt something warm on my lips, it went down my throat and then everything became calm, every image faded into a darkness.
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I opened my eyes next morning and looked around the room. Where was I? I was feeling like I had slept for a very long time. "Mistress must hurry or else she will be late for school." I jumped at the sound, and then focused on the object. It was staring at me with shining blue eyes. I sat up and looked again. Realizing who it was, I said, "Dippy?"
"Mistress has only ten minutes to return to school." School? I was rubbing my forehead trying to remember what was going on and then it came. "Oh my God! I'll be late for school!" I jumped out of the bed and dashed towards the bathroom. Thank heavens, Dippy had my uniform ready. I quickly brushed, took a quick bath and put on my uniform. I dashed towards the fireplace. Dippy was standing there with my bag and a pot of floo powder. With only a minute to spare, I grabbed my bag, slung it over my shoulders while grabbing a pinch of floo in the other. I threw it and clearly stated my destination. As I spun on the spot, I thought I caught a glimpse of blond hair standing in front of the other room.
Once in the cottage, I sprinted towards the Great Hall. When I got there, Ginny and Susan were already seated and having breakfast. I approached them and sat down beside Ginny and facing Susan. Breathless from running across the ground, I sat and took a few breaths to calm myself. When I noticed, Ginny was staring at me. "How come you are late? You, I know you are an early riser." She was still looking at me worried.
"I don't know. Dippy woke me up at quarter to eight. I really don't know how I overslept." I replied while turning to grab a toast.
"Hermione, was everything alright with Malfoy?" it was Susan.
"Yes. As a matter of fact I didn't even see him there apart from Saturday morning at breakfast. Then he was gone. I just don't know, I can't remember anything from last night and I don't sleep like that when I'm there." I replied exasperated. It was true. I remembered going to bed but then I couldn't remember anything else. It was frustrating. Ginny looked at me for a few more seconds and then changed the topic.
"So, did you complete the transfiguration essay?" she asked. I nodded. Susan too nodded, and then added after a few seconds. "Actually Ron tried helping me with that. I had to redo the entire thing all over again." She had a sweet smile on her face as she talked about him. I smiled back. I was happy that Ron had found her and that the two of them were doing well. "My sympathies." I replied mockingly. "If he keeps helping you out, you are definitely in for a lot of extra work."
After breakfast, the three of us walked to class together, all the way talking about Ron. It was good to know that the two of them had so easily become so close to each other. The talk brought my attention back to Malfoy. I quietly let out a sigh. I was not a believer in fairy tales but I, like all the girls, had thought about my husband to be at least loving and caring. When I saw what I actually had, it really pained my heart. I didn't wish to stay in the same room or talk to the man I had to call my husband, leave apart kissing or fantasizing about what all he could do to me with a simple touch. I couldn't even think of the man as a friend. In the last few days when ever the thought crossed my mind, just for a second, I had unconsciously gripped my wand harder.
"Are you okay Hermione?" It was Ginny. We had reached our class and Susan had already left.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I tried to sound convincing. I walked up to our bench and made to sit down when Ginny grabbed my arm and made me turn. Looking straight into my eyes she asked, "Did he try something?" For a moment I tried to understand what she was talking about. She was looking really serious and concerned.
"What?" Then realizing it a few seconds later I responded, "NO! No Ginny. It's not like that." I sighed and sat down, she sat down beside me. "Like I said, he doesn't even stay while I'm there." I said looking at my hands on the desk. I did not wish to look at her, afraid that she would see what I really was feeling a moment ago. "I'm just trying to wrap my mind around the fact that he is my husband now, that's it." It wasn't a complete lie, but I didn't feel like telling the truth either. Then again, maybe I didn't need too. She was a friend who understood me. She could probably understand what I was going through. At that moment Professor entered the class and we turned our attention to it.
As the week progressed, the loneliness started to press harder. Susan and Ginny both had things to say about their new lives and all I could do was sit and listen to them with a smile on my face. I knew it was not the case and never would be, but still somewhere down in my heart I felt I had separated from the Weasley's. It was probably because I was already feeling so low. So, to keep my mind occupied, I decided to study harder, at least that would keep me occupied.
On Thursday however, even pouring into the books did not help. We were sitting at the breakfast table as usual, when an owl swooped down in front of Ginny. "It's from Harry." She said checking the letter. "That's strange, he doesn't need to write letters. He comes down every night." reading the letter. When she read around half it, she squeaked. I looked at Susan, she just shrugged and we turned our attention towards the now blushing girl. She had a huge smile plastered across her face. When she had finished reading the letter, she took a deep breath and turned and looked at both of us before hugging me and giving another happy squeal. After about two minutes when she had calmed down, she said, "Harry is coming here tomorrow evening and he's taking me somewhere for the weekend."
"Oh Ginny, that's awesome!" I gave her a small hug. I was really happy for her. It would be the first time that Harry and Ginny would be able to do something romantic. They had hardly ever had the time or situation to do what couples usually did at our age. Harry had always been living with a constant danger lurking around the corner and Ginny had always supported him. It was a well deserved break for both of them.
The entire day, she was so ecstatic that it was contagious. And even though for a moment I had felt that it was something that I would never have, I could not help but smile every time she blushed.
Friday, she went ecstatic to frantic. "Relax Ginny. It's not like you are going on a date for the first time. For heaven's sake, you are married to that guy!" We were sitting for our lunch and I and Susan were trying to calm her down. She was hardly eating anything and hyperventilating every five minutes.
"Come on now Ginny. You guys are married almost a month now and I'm sure there's nothing new by now." Susan turned to look elsewhere in a bid to hide her smile while Ginny blushed even harder.
I turned on my seat to face Ginny. "Ginny, really, but you should be happy. If things had been normal then I'm sure Harry and you would have dated like ordinary couples, and then proceeded to more serious things. But since it has never been that way and you guys are now married, just enjoy it. and," I said turning towards my plate, "I'm sure you would never have to worry about being judged by Harry on any front, not because of what he's like but because you mean a world to him and I'm sure he's trying to make up for the lost time." Ginny stared at her plate for a few minutes and then replied, "You're right. I should stop thinking and start enjoying."
We ate our dinner a little early that evening. Once the dinner was done, the three of us went down to Ginny's cottage. She had already packed the previous night, so while she went down to change we made ourselves comfortable. After fifteen minutes or so, Harry arrived. He came down and lightly pecked Ginny on her lips. Then after greeting Susan, gave me a small hug. "Hey. How is everything with Malfoy?"
"Considering that it has been two weeks of the marriage and we both are alive, I think we are as good as anybody can hope." I replied. Ginny went inside to get her bag.
"Ginny told me about the cottage. I don't know what this is all about Hermione, but if you need any help, just call us okay? Ron too is very worried about you. We don't want you hurt in any way."
"You don't have to tell me you guys are there for me, I already know that and really, I'm fine." Ginny came up with her luggage and I turned towards them and said, "Now stop thinking about the world and being a savior and just enjoy your trip." Harry just smiled.
After a round of hugs, they departed. Susan and I, we made our way towards our own places. "Are you going to Malfoy's tonight?" Susan asked when we were outside my cottage.
"No, I don't think so. Why?" I asked.
"Just like that." She replied averting my eyes. "Actually, I was thinking of going down to the shop to surprise him."
"That's really nice. You should go." I replied.
"Okay, see you on Monday then. Bye, good night."
"Good night." I watched as she walked towards her cottage.
I went inside and changed. I sat down in one of the armchairs in front of the sofa. It was still early and I did not feel like reading anymore. I was feeling really lonely, when all of a sudden an idea struck me. Although it meant that I would have to go there early, but at least I would have Dippy's company and I had really started liking the house elf. I grabbed my bag and flooed to the cottage at Malfoy Manor.