A NUMBERS GAME, Chapter 4
PORTLAND, MAINE
Elsie dropped the carry-on along the wall.
"Okay, I'm set. I'll be under the limit, easy."
Lara pushed off from the corner chair and returned her book to the shelf.
"Your boss wasn't too brassed off, I hope?"
The blonde shook her head. "Nah. It went better than I expected, actually...she said some time off would do me good. Guess I've been kinda feeling it lately..."
Elsie gave the brunette a once over. "You gonna fly back in that?"
"Of course," returned Lara, fingering her lapel. "I brought no change of clothes - it's this or my birthday suit."
Elsie licked her bottom lip. "Well, that'd be one way to speed through airport screening."
Lara shot her a dirty look.
"Kidding!" laughed the blonde, moving off to power up her PC. "But seriously, though, you look about as comfortable as a Luddite at E3 in those duds."
Lara sighed. "That's not much of an exaggeration...I feel so constricted in this."
"Would you like to change into something of mine?"
The brunette mulled the offer. "Well...if it's not too much trouble?"
"No trouble - hey, how about something of Doppie's? Guaranteed to be a perfect fit."
Lara hesitated. "Do you think she'd mind?"
Elsie chuckled as she bent over and keyed in her password. "You're kidding, right? She won't care if she's short an outfit - she has zero interest in fashion."
"If you're absolutely sure..."
Bolting from her desk, the blonde clasped the archaeologist's hand and led her to the bedroom.
"Here," said the American as the closet door opened with its ever-present squeak. "Her stuff is on that side...grab whatever you like."
"You're certain she won't mind...?"
"Just do it!" exclaimed Elsie in an exaggerated Germanic accent. "Do it now!"
Lara stared at her blankly.
"Oh, for - just grab something, will ya," lamented the blonde as she left the bedroom, not noticing the sly smile crossing the brunette's features.
Back in her study Elsie navigated to Portland's airport website.
She called out to the bedroom. "Grab some shoes too while you're at it. There's another carry-on on the shelf for your stuff."
"Thank you."
"I'm checking to see if there's any cancellations on your flight...otherwise I might have to catch up with you in London."
"I'd prefer we go together, if possible," called back the Englishwoman, the metallic sliding and clinking of clothes hangers drifting down the hallway. "I can take a later flight if need be."
Shortly thereafter the archaeologist returned to the study clad in a cinnamon tank top, khaki trousers, and a pair of well-worn hiking shoes.
Elsie briefly turned from the screen to give the brunette a once over.
"Now, doesn't that feel better?"
"It does," breathed the archaeologist, dropping her bag next to Elsie's. "And you were right, it almost feels as though I've worn these before. I'm a little curious, though."
Elsie continued to scroll through the flight lists. "What about?"
Lara slid onto the desk corner. "Didn't you mention Doppie has no interest in fashion?"
"That's right," returned the American. "Why?"
"One of her tops in there..."
Elsie clicked on the 7:15 departure. Rats.
"Her tops?"
"One of them is rather...well, daring," probed the brunette. "One might even say provocative. That neckline..."
The blonde's toes reflexively pushed against the chair's casters.
"May she just wanted something a little fancier for special occasions," offered the blonde, careful to keep her tone carefully measured.
She could feel Lara's eyes on her.
"I see. So, she picked it out herself, did she?"
Elsie's toes curled further.
"What do you mean?"
The blonde caught herself scrolling entirely too quickly. Swearing inwardly, she jumped to the top of the page and began again.
"That top was her choice, then?" repeated the archaeologist.
"Um, well...I might've helped a little..."
"Only 'helped'?"
Dammit...
Elsie swung her chair around and faced the brunette.
"Okay, Miss Spanish Inquisition, what exactly are you accusing me of?"
Lara was looking at her with a peculiar expression - one might even say subtly concealed amusement.
"There's no need to get defensive," said the archaeologist.
"I'm not being def...shit..."
Lara swallowed her bottom lip, her brown eyes twinkling.
"You were saying?"
Elsie swallowed nervously.
"Okay, look, I j-just...I was only trying to...oh, what the hell..."
The blonde slouched back in her chair, defeated. "Fine. Yeah, okay, you got me. I got it for the eye candy. Total Lust-o-Rama. Happy now?"
Lara leaned in and mussed the blonde's fringe. "My Elsie's a growing girl."
"Look, I'm hardly a prude!" protested the American.
"Certainly not," agreed the brunette.
"I'm as human as the next girl!"
"Absolutely."
"I have...needs...!"
"Of course."
Elsie cupped a hand over her mouth. "No, wait, that didn't sound right. I didn't mean that I - I've never touched her! I mean, I have, but not like - arrgghhh!"
"I understand completely."
"Look, I'm not forcing her to wear the damn thing!"
"It's her own choice, clearly," nodded Lara serenely.
"Quit that!"
"Quit what?"
"Stop agreeing with me! Especially in that patronizing tone!"
"I do apologize."
Elsie unconsciously ran her hand up and down her thigh and struggled to slow her breathing to a level more typical of someone who hadn't just sprinted up a flight of stairs.
"Look...she...she gets bigger tips when she wears it, she told me so herself. So it's not like she doesn't benefit, okay?"
"Bigger tips for bigger t-"
"Hey! It's not like that!"
"Isn't it? You just said -"
"She's not selling herself!"
"Only the viewing rights."
"Yes! No!"
Elsie huffed.
"Look, if anything it's your own fault for having those...those...those goddamned things in the first place," blurted the blonde, nodding at the Englishwoman's chest. "So...so j-just..."
Lara slid off the desk. "You still keep milk in your fridge, yes?"
"Just - what? Uh, yeah, sure..."
The American sat in stunned silence as the brunette left the room.
She drew the back of her hand across her brow and frowned at the collected moisture.
Why am I getting so worked up...?
She felt a sudden pang of guilt as she wiped her hand on her trousers.
Oh, who am I kidding? Lara's right...I'm no better than those whistling construction dudes. I'm a pig...fuck...
Elsie let out a long breath. She resolved to talk to the doppelgänger upon her return. Come clean.
She turned back to the monitor.
A large glass of cold milk was dangled before her, blocking her view of the screen.
"Uh...is that for me...?"
"You looked like you could use it," replied the archaeologist as the blonde grasped the proffered drink. "You were getting a little flush there."
Elsie gratefully took in the cold sweetness - whole milk had an almost supernatural ability to settle her nerves.
"Thanks," gasped the blonde between gulps.
She could feel the brunette's chin come to rest atop her shoulder.
Elsie closed her eyes and drank, basking in the brunette's closeness.
"Mmmm..."
"Better?"
"Mm-hmm," cooed the blonde, caressing the brunette's cheek with her own.
Lara's arms slipped around her shoulders.
"I've run you through the wringer today haven't I?" said the Englishwoman softly. "I'm sorry for that."
"That's okay," breathed Elsie as she nuzzled the brunette's cheekbone. "This more than makes up for it...God, you feel so good..."
The archaeologist squeezed the blonde affectionately.
"When we get across the pond...what say we work on those 'needs' of yours..."
The American's heart skipped. She melted against the brunette, her lips feathering the archaeologist's smooth skin - she breathed in the Englishwoman's scent.
"I so wanna break those laws of physics with you, girl," she whispered, slowly tracing the inch-long scar that graced the archaeologist's cheekbone with the tip of her nose.
Lara smiled.
"We'll give it a good go, Elsie..."
~ oOo ~
The departure from Elsie's flat had instilled in the blonde an odd mix of excitement and apprehension. She couldn't for the life of her understand why: she'd been away from home countless times before. She'd be back in a matter of days besides that.
She set the nagging sensation aside and concentrated on navigating through Portland's downtown core.
Okay, first things first...
Across the street the setting sun had set the strip mall's familiar placard aglow.
"Do you mind if we stop for a bite?" asked the American. "I loathe airplane food."
Lara glanced at her watch. "I don't see why not, we have time."
Elsie switched lanes and pulled into the strip mall's parking lot, backing into a vacant spot directly across from the Burger Shack.
"Oh...burgers," voiced Lara unexcitedly. "I didn't realize this is what you meant..."
"It's not," said the American as she yanked the parking brake. "Looky there."
Lara followed the blonde's finger. Next to the Burger Shack stood a small convenience store, almost lost between the greasy spoon and the hardware store.
The brunette shifted uncomfortably. "Er...no offense Elsie, but a burger is suddenly looking rather tempting."
"Now, now, don't be an elitist," admonished Elsie as she cracked open the driver's side door.
Lara cocked an eyebrow. "For preferring a burger over...what, a bag of crisps?"
Elsie brushed back the chestnut locks obscuring her companion's ear. "Look, I know it doesn't look like much, but they have the best sundaes this side of the Mississippi. Trust me on this, 'kay?."
"That's quite the claim," remarked the archaeologist. "You've sampled every establishment, I take it?"
Elsie swung her feet over the doorsill. "Smart ass."
Inside the convenience store a handful of people were lined up at the counter, the two teenaged girls in front currently in the process of ordering. Behind them stood an older woman, bottles of Schweppes filling the small basket dangling from her fingers. A young man seemingly listening to music on his earbuds brought up the rear.
Elsie and Lara slipped to the back of the line. The brunette gazed at the placard behind the counter listing the various flavours.
"Hmm...what do you recommend?" asked the Englishwoman as the lineup slowly grew behind them.
"My personal fav is butterscotch, it's the bomb," returned the American. "But you can't really go wrong. They use Häagen-Dazs here, none of that synthetic corn syrup crap."
"Butterscotch, eh..."
There was some confusion at the counter as the clerk had to re-input the teens' order.
"No, one strawberry and one banana, no banana split...they're separate..."
Elsie guided her arm around the brunette's waist and snuggled against the archaeologist.
She smiled at her companion. "Just think, in a couple of days we'll taking in the Highlands together. Who would've thought?"
Lara smiled in turn. "Hopefully we'll be taking in more than just the sights..."
Elsie's grey eyes sparkled. "Mmm, I'm liking the sound of that."
She leaned closer and gently pressed her lips to the brunette's.
Love you girl...
"Oh, for fuck's sake," interjected a gruff voice from behind. "Enough with the dyke show already!"
Elsie startled as Lara pulled back abruptly, her face quickly flushing.
"Hey, what - "
The blonde turned to the source of the interruption: behind them stood a large man sporting a scruffy beard, a well-worn Yankees baseball cap and Harley Davidson T-shirt.
Unnervingly, the man was eyeing her with undisguised contempt.
"Oh, sorry for turning your stomach," shot back the blonde sarcastically. "I didn't realize we were in Russia."
"Shut your trap, girl," growled the man. "If you know what's good for you."
"Elsie -"
The blonde bristled. "Screw off, microbrain! It's not like we were making out on the damn counter!"
The man's eyes flashed. "I told you to shut your yap, you fucking cunt!"
Elsie recoiled, the words striking her with almost physical force. She looked to the people in line around them: all wore distinctly uncomfortable expressions, but also seemed determined to avoid entangling themselves. The only thing remotely approximating an intervention was from the clerk behind the counter.
"People, keep it civil, please..."
The man ignored the clerk's plea: "You've got your own goddamned parades now, what more do you fucktards want?"
Elsie slammed her foot against the floor. "Oh, I dunno, how about the right NOT to be called 'fucking cunts'?"
"People, please!"
The man took a half-step forward, testing Elsie's resolve: he loomed a good eight inches over the blonde and likely doubled her in weight. But Elsie's fires had been stoked - she held her ground, barely noticing Lara edge closer.
"I advise you to step back," warned the brunette, her voice dark. Elsie recognized the tone - it was a request in name only.
The man paid no heed. "If it were up to me I'd have you all rounded up and shipped off to Iran...at least they know how to deal with goddamned freaks."
"Oh, you fucking Neanderthal!" snapped the blonde hotly. "Aren't you missing out on some gator-shooting festival somewhere?"
The man's large hand clasped over Elsie's face and shoved, hard. It had happened so suddenly she'd had no time to react, stumbling back and toppling over a candy rack.
A cry from behind in the line.
"Dude! Not cool!"
Elsie crashed to the floor, candies, chocolate bars and gum packs scattering in all directions. Though the rack had prevented her from impacting directly with the floor, it had extracted a painful fee for its service by jabbing her with its numerous edges and protrusions.
Fuck!
More loud crashing noises; for an instant Elsie worried she'd set off a chain reaction of toppling racks before realizing the cacophony stemmed not from behind but in front.
Someone screamed as one of the teenaged girls knelt down next to her, blue eyes filled with concern.
"Hey, are you alright?"
She helped Elsie push off from the rack.
"Yeah, just a little -"
Sounds of an altercation filled the blonde's ears.
"You little bitch, I'll - ow!"
"People! Stop it right now!"
"Oof!"
The sound of shattering glass.
"Somebody call the cops!"
Elsie scrambled to her feet and gaped at the scene before her.
Holy shit...
The brute was leaned back against the counter, the brunette's forearm jammed firmly against his throat. His feet scuffed repeatedly against the floor as the archaeologist held the shattered end of a Schweppes bottle under his nose. Squashed sundaes trickled down the counter's facade to pool at the floor.
"No longer in a talkative mood, are we?" growled the archaeologist.
The customers gaped at the sight of the slight brunette pinning the much larger man.
"That's...wow," breathed Elsie's awestruck benefactor.
The clerk behind the counter held the store phone's receiver and hesitated.
"I'll sue you, bitch," choked the scarlet-faced brute. "I know peop-gak!"
Lara drove her forearm harder, cutting off the man's diatribe.
"The only reason you're still breathing is because I don't want it weighing on my friend's conscience," snarled the Englishwoman. "Now get out."
The archaeologist shoved the man towards the door and stood back, holding the broken bottle at her side.
"LARA!"
Far from leaving, the brute lunged forward, throwing a roundhouse punch that the brunette easily dodged before countering with an elbow to the man's face.
Elsie could hear the crunch of bone as the man staggered back.
"Arrgghh!"
"Stop it you two! Get out of here right now!"
The brute clutched his crumpled proboscis, crimson droplets marking the floor at his feet.
"You broke my node, bitch!"
"That leaves two hundred and five," countered Lara dryly.
The man stepped forward and jabbed a thick finger dangerously near Lara's nose.
"If you think this is over you've got anot -"
It was a mistake. The archaeologist's hand shot out and grabbed the offending finger with lightning speed. She jerked her arm violently down and up.
There was a discernible crack.
The man jerked his hand back, his index finger protruding at an unnatural angle.
"Fuck! You Limey dyke!"
"STOP IT PEOPLE!"
"Two hundred and four," intoned Lara, her eyes blazing.
The man glared at her but seemed oddly reluctant to intimidate the brunette through physical proximity. "I hope you're loaded, bitch! Because I'm gonna take you for everything you have!"
"No you won't."
The second teenager, a young Indian girl, drew forward with her smartphone at the ready. "You try anything and I'll upload all this to YouTube...maybe the cops would be interested in seeing it, too."
The brute glared at her. "You little fucker!"
"Get out!" barked the clerk behind the counter, waving the store phone's handset for emphasis. "Get the hell out or I call the cops right now! Last warning!"
The brute turned his fury-filled gaze at Lara.
"One more word," warned the brunette ominously, "And it'll be two hundred and three."
The man swallowed his retort, scarlet-faced though he was. He glared at Lara for several moments before he finally drawing off to pick his baseball cap off the floor.
He stormed out of the store, the door swinging so violently Elsie thought it might pop off its hinges.
The blonde hurried to her friend.
"Hey...you okay?"
Lara nodded. "You?"
"Yeah, just a scrape," returned Elsie, shaking her hand. "Damn, girl, I'm beginning to understand where Doppie gets her bad-assness from..."
"Okay, you two," voiced the clerk, "Out!"
Elsie spun around, disbelieving. "Us? Are you kidding me?"
The man behind the counter would hear none of it. "I'm going to have to work overtime cleaning your mess - now OUT!"
Lara took the blonde by the elbow. "Come on, Elsie..."
"But...but..."
The brunette paused outside the door, scanning the parking lot in case the brute had decided to loiter.
"I can't believe he threw us out!" lamented the blonde. "Since when is defending oneself a crime punishable by exile?"
Lara ushered Elsie towards the car. "Come on...we'll grab a bite on the plane."
Once ensconced in the driver's seat the blonde flopped against the steering wheel. "Fuck..."
Lara stroked the American's mane. "Hey...I hope that tosser hasn't rattled you...?"
Elsie sighed, her cheek resting on the horn cover. "He's hardly the first troglodyte I've come across. I just get so sick and tired of having to fight for what everyone else takes for granted."
She smiled at the brunette. "Speaking of fighting, you were incredible in there, by the way..."
Lara slipped her hand under the blonde's mane and drew slow circles between her companion's shoulder blades.
"Believe me he got off easy," said the brunette softly. "Are you absolutely sure you're all right?"
The blonde shrugged. "I will be. I'll just never understand blind hatred, you know?"
The brunette nodded sadly. "There seems to be a lot of that going around of late."
Elsie pushed off from the steering and flopped back in her seat.
"And now airplane food, to boot. I hate going on an empty stomach, Lara...hunger pangs remind me too much of...you know..."
The archaeologist bit her lip.
"Well...why don't we -"
Lara's reply was cut short by the young Indian girl from the store running up to the car, a sundae clutched in each hand.
"Whew!" said the girl as she handed the confections to the blonde. "I wasn't sure I'd catch you before you left...butterscotch, right?"
Elsie took the proffered treats gratefully. "Oh my God, you didn't have to do this! That's so sweet!"
The girl chuckled. "After what happened in there, you guys deserve it and them some. Sibby - Sybil - wanted to come say hi but we told the clerk we'd help with the cleanup in exchange for a couple of free sundaes, so..."
She offered her hand. "Name's Amelia, by the way. You can call me Mimi."
"Elsie," echoed the blonde, shaking the girl's hand. "This is Lara."
Lara and Mimi exchanged waves.
"You were awesome in there," said Mimi, smiling at the brunette. "Like Supergirl with an attitude. Loved it."
"Thank you," replied the Englishwoman, "Amelia...that's a lovely name."
"You think so?" beamed the girl. "I was named after Amelia Earhart...only I hate to fly, go figure..."
She stood back and gave Elsie's car a good once over.
"Hey, cool car, by the way! Never seen a convertible like this before!"
Elsie turned to the brunette and grinned. Lara stuck her tongue inside her cheek.
"Anyway, your sundaes won't last long in this heat so I'll let you get at them...enjoy!"
"Thanks Amel - Mimi!"
The girl gave them a friendly wave before scurrying back inside.
"See," said Elsie as she plunged the plastic spoon into the confection, "There's still beautiful people out there, after all."
"I know," voiced the brunette softly. "I was fortunate enough to come across one three years ago."
Elsie's heartstrings danced.
"Damn, girl," returned the blonde.
She spooned a helping of butterscotch-coated ice cream and brought it to the brunette's lips.
"Here..."
Lara raised an eyebrow. "You do realize they're the sa-"
Elsie waited for the right syllable and deftly slipped her spoon into the Englishwoman's mouth.
"Come on," grinned the blonde as the brunette stared back at her. "Eat up..."
Elsie pressed two fingers under Lara's chin and gently lifted. The archaeologist did not resist as her lips closed around the spoon's plastic shaft.
"Atta girl," cooed the blonde as she slowly withdrew the utensil, Lara processing the dairy and sugars sliding around in her mouth.
"There you go...see, that wasn't so hard, was it?"
Elsie suddenly found herself face to face with a reciprocal spoonful.
"What?"
"Your turn," said the Englishwoman.
"It's no one's turn, silly, I was juoomph -"
Elsie blinked, rolling her tongue over the lump of ice cream carried in by the plastic intruder.
Brown and grey eyes locked as Lara slowly withdrew her spoon.
The two young women continued their improvised rite, spooning their confections into each other's mouths with almost ritualistic deliberateness.
"You know this is slightly barmy, yes?" asked Lara after several exchanges. "We have the same sundaes, after all."
"Absolutely," nodded Elsie, raising a fresh helping of butterscotch-laced ice cream to the Englishwoman's mouth. "It's completely nonsensical."
"Well then, I'm glad we...um..."
"Come on, girl," encouraged the blonde, her voice a bare whisper as she gently prodded the tip of her spoon into the brunette's plush bottom lip. "You can do this."
Elsie noted a subtle reaction in the archaeologist – far from overt and likely unnoticeable to almost anyone else, but definitely there. She would ascribe to it a label of amused disbelief.
She nudged the spoon upward, lodging its tip in the soft valley between the Englishwoman's upper and lower lips.
"Atta girl..."
Lara sighed.
But duly opened her mouth.