CHAPTER 11

Next morning when I woke up, Malfoy still had one hand wrapped around my waist. He was sprawled on the bed beside me on his stomach. I turned my head to look at him. His hair was rumpled and fell on his closed eyes. My mind was screaming the reality. I was on the same bed with Draco Malfoy, our former arch nemesis. I somehow couldn't say he was the same, not at the present moment at least. The boy who was so soundly sleeping beside me was nothing like how we had always known him to be.

He looked so calm, something that I had never seen in him. For once, I realized, I was looking actually at Draco, the boy who probably was behind all that façade. And if I was true to myself, I had to admit that I actually liked him like this. I felt I could connect to this person. He felt more real at the present moment than he ever had, awake. If only he would always remain like this. But my rationality told me not to hold on to this.

The chances that when he woke up, he would sneer at me, tell me that I was desperate to get into his pants, was very high. I knew it, yet I did not understand why I kept feeling bad about it. I lay there staring at him, taking in his every line and contour of his body. I would do it as long as I could for I was aware that once he woke up, I would probably never be in the same position ever again. I felt like I wanted to know this person, know what he liked and what he disliked, learn about him, live in the normality that people were trying to find after the war. Live like the other couples did, sharing things and thoughts and ideas, learning to adjust with each other.

After what seemed like almost an hour, he stirred. I immediately tensed, bracing myself for the humiliating flow of words that I was sure was to come. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking them furiously like trying to remember something. Suddenly the grey orbs focused on me. For a moment they held my gaze, and then slowly moved down towards our bodies. I could feel him tense. Then the next second he had almost jumped out of the bed, like it burnt him, like the contact was going to infect him with something.

I heard him curse under his breath as he went about grabbing his clothes. He turned the knob and pulled the door fiercely. Before stepping out of the room, he said in probably his coldest of tones that I had heard, "You should get ready for school, or else you're going to be late." With that he walked out and shut the door behind him.

I lay there knowing his parting words were true and though he hadn't said anything about the situation he woke up in, his behaviour and his tone had said a lot. The humiliation of acting on impulse, without thinking left or right, was slowly creeping in. The tears started. I did not wipe them away. It would be better if I got over with now. I had five days of school before I would find time for myself again. This was something that I could not and would not share with Ginny. The girl could be understanding but I did not know what I'd tell her as to why I had allowed this in the first place. He had been drunk; I could have easily handled him. I couldn't tell her about my frustrations either, that was not in my nature. Of course I couldn't tell the others either. Ron would probably punch him on the grounds of sexual harassment. But he wasn't to blame, I was. He was under the influence of alcohol, I was not. I had let it happen. I should have stopped to think. When he had fallen asleep, I should have gone to the other room, or back to school. I had brought this on myself.

Slowly I dragged myself out of the bed. I brushed, bathed all the time tears running down and a continuous feeling gnawing inside me that I was dirty. I scrubbed myself, yet the feeling refused to go. Finally I gave up and got dressed. I didn't have to look into the mirror to know that my eyes would be red and puffy, so Ginny was bound to ask questions. But first things first, I had to get out of here.

When I got out of the room, Dippy was obediently waiting for me at the kitchen door. Without even glancing at her, I walked to the armchair where my bag had been last night. Dippy had obviously packed it because my Ancient Runes book was not on the floor where it had fallen. I picked by bag and my wand and grabbed a pinch of floo powder. Immediately Dippy spoke up, "Won't Mistress have breakfast?"

"No Dippy, I'm not hungry." And with that I was gone.

Once in the cottage, the tears started again. They simply wouldn't stop. This wouldn't do. I stood up, took a few deep breaths and wiped the few that still had escaped. 'I'm not going to think about it. Whatever happens, I'm not going to let it pull me down.' I repeated that a few more times in my head, willing myself to believe it and walked towards the castle, deciding that I would fight it out. I was not going to let Malfoy get to me like that. When I walked out of the cottage I was still not fine but there was one thing that I was sure of, I wasn't going back to that place.

When I entered the Great Hall, Susan was already there. "Hey," I tried my best to give her a genuine smile. "Isn't Ginny back yet?" I sat down opposite her.

"No. Not yet. Oh look! There she comes." I turned around to look at Ginny hurrying towards us. "Hey." She said flopping down beside me.

"So how was it?" Susan asking, her excitement clear on her face. Ginny smiled at us before replying, "As good as it can get if you fall sick."

"You fell sick?" I asked. Well now that I noticed she did look a little unwell. "Do you want to go see Madame Pomfrey?"

"We don't have time right now. But I have to go see her after the classes. Harry's going to come tonight to check if I got a check up." We bid Susan bye and started walking towards our class. Ginny, I noticed, was chewing her bottom lip absentmindedly.

"Blurt it out Ginny." If Ginny had a problem, it was better if she spoke up. Moreover, it would also provide me with a distraction and I needed that.

"What? Oh! Um….. Actually Hermione," I could see her fumbling though I did not understand what could get this girl fumbling. Ginny was not a fumbler.

She took a deep breath before turning around and looking at me. "Hermione I think I'm pregnant."

I turned blank for a moment. Then when that sunk in, I couldn't help the smile. I hugged her hard. "Oh my God Ginny! That is so awesome."

"Can't breathe." She said gasping. I immediately released her. "Sorry." But I couldn't stop the smile. This was it. This was the reason that would keep me at bay from all those thoughts. My best friend was having a baby; this was bound to keep me distracted.

"It isn't confirmed though. That is why I need to see Madame Pomfrey today." She said, while we started walking again.

"How did you guess?" I asked wondering. How does a person with no experience in the matter know about it?

"Well, after the wedding, Mum told me a few symptoms that were common. I was feeling a little uneasy for a few days, so I'm just guessing."

"Does Harry know about it?" I asked. He would be ecstatic.

"I'll tell him once it is confirmed. By the way, Angelina is pregnant too." She had this sweet smile on her face that I had never seen before.

"Really? How did George react?"

"He was okay, at least in front of everybody." She replied in a sigh.

"He'll be fine someday, you know? Someday he'll start living again." I said squeezing her hand softly as we sat down for our first class that day.

Ginny hadn't said anything to anybody, apart from me and Susan. Both of us went through the entire day in anticipation to what we'd come to know when we actually went down to the Hospital wing. By the time we actually got there, our anticipation had increased ten folds. After fifteen minutes Ginny walked out from behind the curtains with a broad smile plastered to her face. She didn't even have to say anything, her smile was enough. I squealed and gave her another hug before starting to walk back to our cottage.

"I really can't believe Harry's going to be a father." I said shaking my head while walking down the ground towards our cottages. "I mean it seems only yesterday that we were on the run, not knowing if we'd survive that day and now he'll have a kid who will probably be called 'the boy of the boy who lived'." Ginny rolled her eyes smiling.

"That sounds like Rita Skeeter's article."

Susan was waiting at the steps to her cottage. "So, what did Madame Pomfrey say?" she asked walking towards us. Ginny looked up at me once before turning red and replying very softly, "I'm pregnant." She was really taken aback because the in the next fraction of a second Susan had attached herself to Ginny. When Susan finally let go she said, "I better get back. I've been planning something for telling Harry about it."

"Do we want to know?" I asked looking at Susan to conform.

"I don't think so and even if you did, I'm not spilling my secret." I stuck my tongue out at her.

We waved at each other and retired to our own places. Once inside, I changed into my shorts. I didn't feel like going up to the castle again for dinner, so I decided to eat here itself. More over I was determined to keep myself busy. The days were not going to be a problem, but the nights definitely were.

The next morning Susan and I were sitting at the breakfast table discussing how exactly had Ginny planned on breaking the news to Harry. It was fun sitting with your girlfriend speculating things like that. We were halfway through our breakfast when she walked in. Susan just arched an eyebrow as if to ask 'so?'

"Oh! Fine, I told him. Just don't ask how because I'm not telling that." She said smirking at us.

"How did he react then?" Susan asked.

"He freaked out." She said smiling at something. When we looked at her quizzically she added, "He was happy but ever since he found out, he simply refuses to let me walk alone and tried feeding me like I was Hagrid. By the way, Harry wants you guys at Grimauld place this Saturday. He's going to ask Ron to take the day off." She said turning towards Susan. The Weasley's Wizard Wheezes operated seven days a week these days. It was basically to keep George occupied, though he told his parents that Sunday's were a day when people time to go around shopping. So it was a must to keep the shop open. And since Ron was helping out, he sometimes got stuck in the shop. Not that he complained. I suppose he felt close to Fred like that, being around a place that was setup partially with him and keeping George company.

"You think you can make it?" Ginny asked turning towards me.

"He's not holding me captive Ginny, nor am I a house elf of his that I would require his permission for every step I take. I'll be there." I said, genuinely smiling. Harry had no clue he had just provided me with a perfect excuse to stay away from that particular cottage for the weekend.

The week passed pretty quickly. The free time that we got now was spent in the library finding and reading books on babies and pregnancy, a part specifically set up for the senior students for this purpose. When I returned to the cottage after the day, I would be too tired and would just slip into my shorts and keep reading on the bed until I fell asleep. I would get up, get dressed and be back with the girls for the rest of the day.

Friday evening brought back the dreaded feeling and a rush of unwanted memories. Susan and Ginny had headed back home after the classes. I stayed back in the library until dinner time. I didn't feel like sitting alone at the Great Hall, neither did I feel like dining alone in the cottage. I decided on the former thinking at least I'd be surrounded by people. I was not left alone though. As soon as I sat down, Luna drifted towards me and sat down; stating that she found me alone and thought I'd like her company. I had to give it to this girl. Sometimes she could be a savior. We made small talk while eating after which I headed back to the cottage.

I had decided that I would not return to Malfoy's. So a bath seemed like a good idea after a long week. I really needed it. The last few days, though I had kept myself busy in other things, I always seemed to be tensed, not feeling relaxed at all at any point of time. Not even when I slept. The nightmares were getting more frequent. I let the hot water run and felt the nerves soothing slowly. I tried to push everything out of my mind and clear it completely. I was trying that a lot lately and had realized it wasn't the easiest thing to do. No doubt Harry had difficulty with it. After about ten minutes I stepped out of the shower and draped a towel. In the last few days I had either been at school or locked myself up in the cottage. Today I decided to take a walk near the lake. It was mid October. It wasn't raining and the night was cool with a clear sky. Some more time and everything would be covered in snow. It seemed like a good time to take a walk. Moreover, right now, it seemed like the best thing to do after the relaxing bath.

I walked over to the wardrobe and stared inside. It was entirely filled with regular day to day robes and sundresses and the like. I stared open mouthed at it, wondering where my usual clothes were and how come I had not noticed this before.

As I stared at the brand new clothes I realized that I hadn't opened my wardrobe for the past few days, only wearing my school uniform and then changing to my shorts after that. I had thought that these clothes were supposed to be at the cottage at the Manor. There was only one explanation to this. Dippy. She could be the only one to do it.

Damn. She had taken my clothes away and I hadn't even noticed it. Moreover what would I wear tomorrow? There was no way that I was wearing these clothes. I had to get back my clothes. I put on my shorts and t shirt. Then slowly called out, "Dippy."

The next moment there was a loud crack and there she was, standing in front of me with her usual smile.

"Mistress called Dippy?"

"Yes Dippy. Where are my clothes?" I asked.

"Dippy took them back to the cottage." Back to the cottage? Wonderful! "But why did you take all of them back?" I asked exasperated.

"Master Draco asked Dippy to exchange all the clothes in Mistress' wardrobes." She replied. She looked terrified like she had made some grave mistake.

I realized if Malfoy had asked her to exchange the clothes then it wasn't a good idea to send her back to get my clothes. Merlin only knew how he had framed that request. She would be stuck in between our orders and the only thing that she'd manage to do in the process was to hurt herself. My problems were mine to face. I wasn't going to hide behind an elf.

I got up from the bed walking towards the fireplace. I needed my clothes and I would have to get them myself. There was no way out of it.

Finally the confrontation in the next chapter. Any guesses as to what happens?

And a huge thank you to all my reviewers. You guys are awesome. :)