CHAPTER 12

When I stepped down from the fireplace, Malfoy, I realized, was pacing the length of the living room. As soon as he heard me, he looked up.

"Grang—"before he could start talking I started walking towards the bedroom. I wasn't here to let him pass some snide remark that he had missed last time.

"Granger, please listen to me." He said following close behind me.

"Do I need to listen to anything else after what you did?" I replied coldly without stopping to look at him. I had to get my clothes and get out of here fast, or else I wasn't so sure I could hold back from hexing him. But then again he would deserve it.

"You don't understand—"

"Really?" now I spun around to face him. He really had the nerve to say that! "I don't understand? Even after the way you humiliated me?" I couldn't stop the tears that escaped from remembering the last time I was here. I felt ridiculous crying in front of him but I was humiliated enough. I was not going down without a fight. I wiped the tears away and continued, "I know you wouldn't 'dirty' yourself like that Malfoy. So you don't have to spell it out for me. I already know it, okay?" I spat the words at him and hurried towards the room. How in the world had i felt, even for a second, that he was worth liking or knowing.

He was faster, his seeker reflexes working immediately. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me inside. Closing the door behind us, he pressed me to the door. We were only an inch apart and his smell filled my nostrils, a mix of pine and an earthly smell.

"If I prove it to you that I did not mean to humiliate you, will you forgive me?" he asked in a low voice. He was holding on to my wrists so close to his chest that I could feel his heart beating frantically.( At least one feeling was mutual) I tried pulling my hands free, but his grip was too strong. If he hadn't been holding on to me like that, I would have surely hexed him. So instead of trying to free my hands, I turned my face away and shut my eyes. It didn't turn out to be a good idea. His face was so close to mine now that I could feel his breath on my skin. And although he disgusted me, I couldn't control the goose bumps from that small feel of his, the last incident clearly etched in my memory.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. This time, I would not let him catch me off guard. Once I was sure I was ready to speak, I said in the coldest tones possible to me, "You need to be sorry for me to even consider forgiving you. And I know, Draco Malfoy can never be sorry about hurting others, specially if that other happens to be me."

I don't know what I expected from him, because frankly I should have known to expect nothing. All those words that he had said to his friend, they were lies. He could pretend to be repenting for his deeds, say all the correct things, but I should have known that deep down he was still the same. It wasn't possible to forget seventeen years worth of garbage his father had drilled in him. he could try, but he would always get back to being the same person, someone I have always had reason to dislike, to hate and he would keep giving me new reasons everyday.

"Look at me." His breath was heavy and coming in pants. When I didn't, he stepped closer still, his body flush against mine. "Look at me." He repeated, his lips ghosting over my jaw and sending shivers down my spine. When I still didn't turn or open my eyes, he dipped his head, and slowly started trailing wet kisses along my jaw until he reached my ear where he nibbled and sucked. I couldn't stop the shuddering breath from escaping and I could feel him smile at my reaction. I felt like cursing him with the foulest of the words that I was aware of. Of course he would smile. If I am uneasy it's a matter for him to rejoice, specially when he is the reason behind the uneasiness.

"Hermione." It was not a demand.

It was a plea, a soft plea. I was so taken aback to hear him utter my name that I instinctively opened my eyes to meet his, just to be sure that it was him and not somebody else. Nose to nose with each other, his breath falling in pants on my lips, I had only a few seconds to look into his eyes. It was not enough time to register what it held. Lust? Want?

Before I had the time to think about it, for the second time, his head dipped and his lips crashed into mine. In the present circumstances, I had expected it to be rough and demanding. So it came as a surprise when his lips moved so softly against mine. It was soft yet there was a hidden passion. It was exactly what I had always imagined my first kiss to be like. Ron had always been gentle but lacked the fire and I found myself leaning into the kiss unconsciously. His hands left my wrist and while one entangled itself in my hair to draw me closer and deepen the kiss, the other found its way into the small of my back, slowly rubbing circles there.

That was probably the point where all coherent thoughts left my brain. There was nothing in this world that I could think about except responding to those lips. I forgot that I was frustrated at him, that this could lead me to more humiliation and that this time it could well stay on for life. I forgot that the person doing this to me was no other than the Draco Malfoy, that I was angry at him. Somewhere in the back of my mind I realized, it was how it was supposed to be between two people who wanted to be together. For so many years I had saved myself to feel this, what I was feeling now.

There were so many, I dare say, hormones and emotions working at the same moment that it was impossible to distinguish one from the other. A small part of my mind was telling me that it couldn't be true, that he was playing with me again but I couldn't even ignore the way his lips were moving against mine. Could someone really fake these feelings too? The way he was making me feel now, I really wanted to believe that he cared for me. I wanted it to be it should have been if we hadn't been Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy.

For five whole days, I had felt humiliated. I had been ashamed of the way I had behaved because his reaction had made me feel unwanted, it had made me feel cheap. I can't be called a relationship expert, but this was not how you treat someone who's married to you. We may not respect each other. But in this last month, I hadn't done anything that would out-rightly show disrespect either. So couldn't he give me that much?

I knew as Harry Potter's friend, my life would never be normal, but there are times I wish I have some normalcy. I just wanted to feel ...wanted, for what I was, just a normal girl of my age.

When the need for oxygen became too urgent, he reluctantly pulled back an inch. I inwardly groaned at the loss. The feeling was awesome and I was not yet ready to part with it. If this was the first and last time we'd be in such a situation, then I wanted it to happen, because I'm definitely not into infidelity. If I had to be with him for the rest of my life, then at no point would he be able to point a finger at me and say I had not upheld my vows.

Malfoy was probably of the same opinion about the kiss because he captured my lips again. Not breaking the kiss for even once, he pulled me up in his arms and carried me to the bed. How did he manage to do all that and not break the kiss even for a second, I have no idea, but I was glad nevertheless.

The next time he broke the kiss, it was to remove his clothes. Leaving only his boxers on, he climbed back on the bed to hover above me. For the next few minutes all he did was to stare at me, like he was memorizing every detail of my face. I, on the other hand, was so engrossed in his actions that I was hardly paying attention to my reactions. I had kissed him again, hadn't I? I knew I would have ample time to think about my reactions, to berate my self on allowing him to make a fool of me again. So, in for a knut, in for a galleon. The only thing that I wanted to think of right now was how his lips had felt on mine and how he had tasted like old wine.

After a while I started to grow a little anxious. Maybe he was going to jump out of the bed again. If that was the case, then I was doing it before him. I was certainly not giving him the satisfaction of doing that to me again. Although I liked our present positions, I tried shifting a little from under him. He must have sensed my thoughts because he brought his lips close to my ears to whisper only a single word huskily.

"Don't." The next second he started kissing my neck, slowly moving down towards my shoulders. The way he sucked and licked at my skin, I was sure it would leave a few marks behind. He was so sure of his ministrations that I could not help but think how many times and to how many people had he done this before. The thought brought back a feeling of jealousy. Here I was giving him my first experience. I did not like to think that someone else had been at the receiving end of this from him. But even the temporary feeling of jealousy could not stop me from gasping out loud as I felt his hand slowly move under my top. His hands were cold and yet they seemed to burn my skin as they slowly inched upwards. Slowly he bunched up the fabric in one hand while the other pulled me off the bed a little. In one swift motion, my shirt had been flung across the room somewhere. His hands were roaming my body, caressing and memorizing and wherever his hands went, his lips would follow.

My mind had lost track of time. I was hardly aware when and how the rest of our clothes had disappeared. He returned to kiss me again. It again was soft but started to grow needy by the second. I could not stop the urge to run my fingers through those blond locks that were a mess now. While my left hand found its way to those silky smooth locks, my right hand rested on the back of his neck. The deep throaty groan that I received on scratching there was like music to my ears. It felt good to elicit such a response from him, knowing that I was the one making him moan. He stopped kissing me and dropped his head into the crook of my neck; both our breaths heavy and coming in pants.

The feelings that I was experiencing right now were nothing like I had ever felt before. Ever since I had hit adulthood, I had thought of this day. The occasions were rare but sometimes alone in the dormitory at night, I would think of all the things that I wanted to do in response. But lying here, under him, all I could think about was him and how he was making me feel. I kept feeling that it wasn't enough. I wanted to feel all of him, wanted to know everything that he could do to me. Presently, I felt like I could stay like this forever.

Even though I wanted to feel more, I couldn't help gasping in surprise and dig my nails into his back as the knowledge of his arousal became evident. The fire that had started from a simple kiss was turning into an inferno. This was it, now there was no turning back.