CHAPTER 15

Back in the cottage at school, I just dropped my bag and dazedly walking to the bed, fell on it. It was the strangest weekend of my life. I had lost my virginity to a person, who had been my enemy ever since I had entered this world, and now was my husband. I had lied to my friends for him and was actually thinking of trying to work this relationship out. Maybe I had lost my mind. Maybe it was those wak... something that Luna said muddles our brains. But something was definitely wrong.

I turned on my side and tried to think why I was even considering his proposal. I had seen Ron and Susan, and Harry and Ginny, and they looked so happy together. Maybe that was the reason. Somewhere in the irrational part of my mind I wanted some love and affection and not as a friend. I sighed. That was probably it. But the fact that it was Malfoy simply refused to leave my mind. He hadn't gained my trust yet I somehow knew he wouldn't harm me and that was strange. We had fought on two different sides in the war and a few months back we wouldn't have thought twice about attacking each other at sight. Or would we? He hadn't recognised Harry that night at the Manor.

I turned on my back again feeling restless. If I thought logically, he had a point in trying to work this out. We had to bring forth a baby. That would require some amount of… sleeping with each other. I knew I had to carry his baby. But every time I had thought about it, even vaguely, I had felt it would be with someone I was in love with.

I sighed and turned again. If I hadn't gone off trying my luck and gambling with my life, then I wouldn't have been here, on this bed, thinking all these. But then I probably would have been in Ron's bed. I didn't really want to think that now. I groaned. Damn this marriage law!

After a lot more musing on the topic I decided I had, yet again, no other option than to agree with Malfoy. Maybe who knows I would find some happy moments. One can always wish. And with that I drifted off to an uneasy sleep.

Monday morning I was already halfway through my breakfast when Susan and Ginny joined me.

"Am I early or are you guys late?" I asked and smiled to see Susan blushing. Ginny on the other had replied pretty calmly, "I want to think I got late. Pregnant women have needs you know."

Susan looked mortified for a moment, but then we all burst out laughing at the same time. "Oh God! I really don't need to think of the savior of this world and my brother in law in that sense, thank you Ginny." Susan said helping herself to some toast.

Ginny's eyes were sparkling and I realized I really did not want to hear what she had to say now. "Oh! You should really see him…."

"GINNY!" both Susan and me screamed.

"Really Ginny, you can keep that kind of stuff to yourself." I said.

"Where's the fun in that." She just winked back at me. We ate our breakfast chatting about normal things after that. What was better was the fact that the smiles remained on our faces. Though I had a very restless night with the dreams again, but probably some kind of resolution and clarity of my marriage had helped lighten my mood.

The next few days passed on almost in the same manner, with smiles and giggles and being happy despite the humungous amounts of homework allotted to us in almost all the subjects. The nights too were the same. Almost every night I would wake up drenched in sweat after reliving some nasty incident from last year. And before I realized it was already Friday evening.

We said our goodbyes and headed to our own places. Now that I knew that I was going to try and that I had to be with him for the next two days, I was a little apprehensive. Trying to think of all the possible things that we could talk about, without arguing, I made my way to the Cottage.

Malfoy was not at home. That was good for me because I had not managed to find a single thing that we could talk about. Dippy greeted me with her same enthusiasm as ever. Having had my dinner at school, I changed and sat down to complete my runes homework.

By the time I had completed it, Dippy had already gone to bed, if she had a bed that is. I stretched my tired limbs and climbed into the bed that was starting to feel mine. I wondered where he was. It was quite late after all. But then again I really didn't know much about his life. May be that's what we could start talking about. He could tell me what kind of work he was doing. If it was legal... Why hadn't that thought crossed my mind earlier? Maybe because it was always Harry who was so suspicious about him, though it hadn't been without a reason. Thinking about all the things that he could do when I was away, I fell asleep.

I woke up with a start from having seen Nagini attack Harry at Godrics's Hollow. The first thing I felt after calming down was soft hands wiping the sweat from my face. I opened my eyes and found Malfoy's steady gaze on me. He gave me a small smile and helped me to sit up, offering me a goblet of water. Taking the goblet from my hand he just gestured me to lie down again. He just sat there, on the edge of my bed looking at me. When my eyes began to droop, he touched my face once and slowly whispered, "Good night."

He was sitting at the table, dressed, when I walked in the next morning.

"Good morning." He smiled at me.

"Good morning." I replied. I tried to smile, but I don't think that was very convincing. We ate our breakfast in relative silence. Once the plates were gone, he looked up at me. "I'm going to be out today. I don't know when I can return. I was thinking…" he looked a little unsure. I remained quite, letting him complete his thought. "I was wondering if you want to stay or go back to school, or go to your friends'." I don't know why he sounded so unsure.

"I think I'm going to stay back." I said. "I have homework to finish. More of all I don't want to disturb Harry and Ginny, especially now that she is pregnant. And Ron and Susan hardly get time with each other. So it would really not be fair to disturb them either." I looked at Malfoy. He looked surprised, but by what part of my sentence, I did not know. It could be the part where I said I would stay back.

Covering up, he got up from the table and said, "I should get going. I'll see you later." He turned to leave, then after a moment's hesitation came to stand next to me. Again after a moment's hesitation, he bend slowly towards me, always looking at me. "Bye." He breathed softly on my face. Then slowly pecked me on my cheeks and then he was gone in two long strides.

I sat there for a few minutes. Malfoy like this was… sweet. Caring too, I could say. He behaved like the boy every girl wants to date. Frowning I realized there were girls who had wanted to date him. Whether for his money, or for the power his father had in the ministry back then. But I had heard girls talking about him. Then there was Pansy Parkinson. They were rumored to be together. I did not know if that was true. I had not paid attention to him back then.

Now, frowning that I felt a pang of uneasiness at the thought of him with someone else, I made my way back to my room to get my books. I had a long day ahead and I also had to concentrate on my work. Clearing my mind of almost all things Malfoy, I sat down to complete my task.

The rest of the day passed with me completing most of my homework. Dippy made sure that I ate at the right times. By mid night, I had finished all my homework, my dinner was done, and I was lying on the bed wondering where Malfoy was. The problem with the entire day was that whenever I had stopped studying to take a break, my mind had shifted to thoughts of Malfoy with someone else. A week back, I knew it would have hurt only minimally, but now it was a steady nagging feeling. It was something I did not like. I wasn't ready to give Malfoy that much of importance, but it unnerved me to think him with another girl. For heaven's sake, I didn't even know if he had any kind of relation before.

I sighed and willed my brain to clear of all things. It still took me some time to fall asleep.

I woke up screaming again at the top of my voice. It was one of Bill's wedding. The attack at the Burrow was something definitely not worth reliving. It was the beginning of the almost year long run. I flopped back on the pillow, panting.

"Granger," His voice was so soft that for a few seconds I had thought I had hallucinated. He was standing by my bed with a goblet of water. As I looked up, he offered it to me. This was turning out to be an every night ritual. He sat down by the edge and I noticed that he had already changed into his night clothes. How long had he been back? I frowned.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"A little after four." He was looking at me with a strange expression.

"When did you come back?" I asked not able to control myself. He visibly relaxed on that.

"After one, you were asleep." Yes I was. But where had he been and what had he been doing? Why was he so late? I wanted to ask these questions. But before I could say anything, he wished me night, lightly pecking on my lips and strode out of the room.

My frown increased. Why was he behaving like this? I knew sleep was impossible now. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind. This wasn't helping much. I was having these nightmares regularly now, almost too regularly. I would have to think about that. And while thinking of all the things that I could possibly do, I slowly and thankfully drifted off to sleep again.

Thank you all so much. I feel so overwhelmed by your responses.
I hope I'll be able to keep up the expectations

Happy Holidays!

-Periwinkle Pink :)