CHAPTER 22

The good thing about sharing a wardrobe between the two cottages was that I could change and get rid of the uniform. The weather was getting chilly. Sitting down for dinner, I stared at the lavish spread in front of me. I don't know why, but it reminded me of a lamb being prepared for slaughter. Malfoy seemed casual, as casual as he could be while I was busy wondering what he was up to. Something just didn't feel right. So, I ate, as much I could manage with the unease gnawing at me.

Once dinner was done, I sat back waiting for him to start.

"So, last night was an attempt to know more about me." Though it was not a question, I felt like I was supposed to respond.

"Yes."

"Well. In that case I should also know a few things about you."

"Sure."

"So tell me Granger," He said leaning towards me, "what exactly were you trying to find out last night."

"I told you it was just an attempt at knowing you."

I could tell my answer did not satisfy him. He closed his eyes once and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes, it became evident that he was trying to control his temper. I did understand that he was purposely letting me know of his emotions because we both were aware that he could hide those well enough. But what was escaping me was the fact that why he didn't believe me. I had truly wanted to know. It had been my decision. Ginny had only pushed me to do what I wanted to do but I had been reluctant to break the peace. He needed to know that.

"Look Malfoy, I understand why you think Ginny or someone else had something to do with whatever happened last night. But it is not the way you are thinking." I said calmly. Getting agitated would be bad right now. We had to be sensible.

Malfoy seemed like he thought I was just trying to cover up. "Really?" He drawled. "Then why don't you explain how exactly you came up with the questionnaire after more than a month. We have been doing fine. So why did you feel the urge to get those answers... on the day that your friend spend a night here?"

Well, when he put it that way, it seemed very obvious to think the way he was doing. Maybe I should have waited a few days and thought this through before questioning him. But what was done could not be changed and there was no use in thinking about what I could have done differently. Right now the only thing to do was to explain and show him my side of the story.

"I know the timing seems strange and when you put it like that, your concerns seems justified. But believe me, I have thought about all those things. I just didn't ask them because we already had a lot of problems. We weren't even on cordial terms. It took us sometime to just get accustomed to each other and be in the same room. Then I didn't want to break the tentative peace that we had acquired."

"So you didn't think about my profession all those times when you were sleeping with me?" That left me completely speechless for a minute. I couldn't believe he could bring something like this up in the manner that he did. Add that to the fact that he was calmly looking at me. Here I was trying to be the reasonable one and he was using our intimate moments like this. I had tried to stay calm for the both our sake but I didn't think I could hold on to my temper for long.

"What do you mean... by that?" My temper was hanging on a really frayed thread and one wrong word by him would make me loose it. I knew it and I didn't want to control it. Everything aside, this was a really low blow. Instead of answering me, he just stared at me with a calm that was making my anger reach a different level.

"What did you mean by bringing up our sleeping arrangements, Malfoy?" I needed to know the answer to that, even though I had a feeling that it was going to cost us the peace that we had reached. If the peace wasn't based on us actually trying to get past our problems, then it really wasn't worth it. And looking at him now, smirking at me confirmed that the boy I had come to dislike so early in my school life, hadn't changed. That these past weeks I was living an illusion. I had thought he had changed, now he was showing his true self. Being the Draco Malfoy I had known at school.

"I didn't think you had it in you, but I guess I was wrong. After all, you are the know-it-all, aren't you? Harry Potter's friend, the one with the solution to all the problems."

He leaned towards me then, the smirk still firmly plastered on his face. "You want to know what I meant by that Granger? I meant you were sleeping with me to keep an eye on me, to find out what I am doing now that you and that Saint Potter have kept me from going to Azkaban. You are here playing marriage with me because it is a way for your Order to keep a track on me."

"Enough!" The chair tumbled as I stood up, but that was hardly my concern at that point of time. To say I was seething would have been an understatement. I clenched my teeth to get the words out, instead of hexes as a reflex. I had been insulted by him before. I had been called a mudblood, my parentage ridiculed by him, but to insult me in such a manner... To instigate that I would use myself like that, or let anyone use me like that was beyond all insults that I had faced. I was worse than being tortured on the very same premises by the very same person's dear aunt.

"Touch a nerve, did I?" He said rising up from the chair.

"You have no right to insult me like this!" I screamed. I wanted to hit him and hex him, make him take back the words he had just said.

"Don't I?Then who does Granger? Tell me who has the right to insult you if not me. Draco Malfoy, the bane of your existence."

I turned around to leave. This conversation was a disaster from the start. I should have relied on my instincts and stalled. I should have kept away from him for a few days and then had this conversation.

"Where are you going? To your precious Weasley? Is that where you are on the nights that you aren't with me? Fulfilling your dreams of being his arms as his wife? Except now you won't called his wife because he is already married to someone else. Does his wife know Granger? Does she know that you are his mistr-"

"FURNUNCULUS!"

It was the first spell that came to my mind and it would have it him if Dippy had not deflected it right before it hit Malfoy. I stared at him thinking I had never hated him so much before. Never. I had disliked him, but never hated him with so much fervor before today. And I hated myself, hated because I had pitied him, thought that he deserved a second chance, thought about trusting him, thought that he could change, that we could have a relation that could at least be called civil. But I hated myself the most for one thing, one thing that I would never be able to change, ever. And that was letting him near me, letting him touch me in a way that I had never let anyone else, given him that one experience that I would never be able to give another.

I broke the eye contact then, because I couldn't bear to look at him anymore. Dippy was in the corner, looking terrified, wringing her hands and pulling her ears. "Dippy is sorry Mistress. Dippy did not mean to... Dippy is so sorry."

I understood what she was saying but I could not react to it. I could not react to anything. I felt numb. I turned around and headed towards the floo, wanting to escape this place as soon as possible.

Exiting the floo, I fell on the floor, letting the tears run free, letting the humiliation of allowing my husband to touch me wash over me. I had cried when he had insulted me, my family. I had cried every time he had said something. But it had never hurt this much. I felt dirty. I scrambled up, running towards the bathroom. I ripped my clothes, throwing them in a heap and set them on fire. I didn't want to see these clothes again, I didn't want a remainder of this night, not that I would ever be able to forget it. Watching them burn hardly provided any satisfaction. Turning the shower on and setting the water as hot as I could handle, I let it burn my skin. But I still felt dirty. Scrubbing didn't help either, it left my skin red and raw but still dirty. I don't know how long I stood there, trying to wash out his touches but it just wouldn't leave me.

I fell down on the floor screaming out, not in the physical pain. The water didn't burn as much as the words that had been thrown at me, the accusation that had been hurled. It hurt to acknowledge that this was the same person I had tried to help, thought I could live with. What a fool I had been. Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy could never be on the same side, never be together. But now I was stuck with the Malfoy name forever, and as far as I knew there was nothing I could do.

A/N: I am so sorry for the long wait, but I was suffering through a very bad case of mental block. I had four drafts of the chapter and I didn't like even one of them, so I scraped them all. I am moderately satisfied with this one, so I may edit it if the future chapters require me to do so. Anyways many thanks to Captainhookcaptainfreedom for the push. Ever since you messaged I couldn't forget that I had promised you a chapter before christmas. I really hope you like it. So review! And if you guys don't like, then too REVIEW!

Lastly, tell me if you guys want a chapter from Draco's POV concerning this episode. I still can't decide if I want that chapter in the story or should I put that in some other way.