CHAPTER 24

Standing in front of my home had brought a kind of relief that I had been missing for the last month or so. At last I could breath freely for sometime without being scrutinised every minute, or being reminded of my disastrous marriage. For once, being away from the wizarding world had brought a kind of peace that I had never thought I would want or need. And wasn't it ironic, that the muggleborn girl, who had the chance of being the first of the ones to be sought out and killed during the war, hadn't run from that scenario but was now running from her life of the wizarding world. For a few days, I wanted to forget that I was Harry Potter's friend, someone who had fought a war, someone who was married to Draco Malfoy at the age of nineteen. For once I just wanted to be Hermione, who was just her parent's daughter.

It was the Christmas afternoon and I had been sitting on my bed for about an hour now. The morning had gone by opening gifts, received from my parents and friends. Ron's had come with a letter which I had dreaded reading because I did not want him to ask me again as to why I wasn't talking to him. Surprisingly the letter did not repeat that. It was just a request, asking me to be at the Burrow on New Year's eve, if possible on my part, and that was what had me thinking for the last hour or so.

I didn't like being away from Harry, Ron and Ginny. I had kept this thing inside me for sometime now and I was losing my will to keep it away from them. But if I did go there and everyone started asking me about things, I wasn't sure I would be able to control myself and I didn't want my first reactions to come out in front of them all.

I hadn't been at the Burrow or talked to Mr. and Mrs Wesley ever since I received the letter from the Ministry in the beginning of September. I hadn't known how they would react to such a news, especially so soon after the war. The two families had never been on good terms and I had no idea how to face Mrs. Weasley. She had, not so subtly, told me that she would love me to be her daughter in law. I was also worried about George's reaction. Though Malfoy was not the one to deal the death blow, but George did blame the Malfoys for Fred's death. How would he react if he knew about the last conversation... Or rather the last fight that we had. How would Ron react? He always had a strong dislike for Malfoy. Something like this could easily get him to react very strongly. Would anyone be able to stop him? Would anyone even want to, because I was aware that they did blame him for what happened to Bill.

"Hermione?" I looked up from my musings to see my mum standing at the threshold. "Hot chocolate?" She asked indicating the two cups in her hand.

"Yes of course." I replied sitting up straighter, the prospect of hot chocolate and some time with my mum bringing a smile on my face. "Thank you." I said taking the offered cup from her hands as she sat down on my bed. We sat there, slowly sipping the drink for a few minutes before she broke the silence.

"How is school this year?"

"As tiring as you would expect the last year of school to be."

"And how is Draco Malfoy fairing as your husband?" I instantly felt my happiness plummet.

"He's fairing fine." I said staring at the swirling liquid in my cup.

"That's good to hear. Does he care about you now?" I could omit facts, but lying to my mother when she specifically asked me something, was a thing that I just couldn't do. Unfortunately, right now telling her the truth was also not a good option.

"I don't know. I think it's too early to say." That was closest I could go without lying.

"And I think you are not telling me something big. No, wait. Let me finish,"she said before I could even say a word. "I know Hermione, that there are a lot of things that you don't tell us about the wizarding world. Your Dad and I, we both knew there was always more to what you told us, even about your involvement and experiences in the past year. We never pressed you to tell us more because both of us trust you. We know that if there is something that we should know about, you will tell us. We trust you to trust us, especially after coming back. We know you won't make that mistake twice. We are also aware that there is more to the story about Draco Malfoy than you told us. That was why your father was really worried about you after you sent us the letter stating that you were marrying him. Now, after more than two months later, you come back and you won't say a word about it. We gave you two days. We thought you would at least talk to me, but something tells me you won't, not until I push you for answers."

I couldn't sit there any longer. My hands were starting to shake and I was sure Mum would notice it. So I put my cup down on my bedside table and walked over to the window, I kept staring but not looking at anything in particular. May be talking to Mum was a good idea, but how much of it would she understand? I didn't want to think about talking to Ginny again. It hadn't been her fault, but I couldn't help thinking that maybe pretending that everything was fine for some more time, probably would have been a better idea. We were slowly starting to get along. Maybe, just maybe all that we needed had been time.

No, talking to my mother would be a better idea. She may not know about Malfoy, but she had more experience in life.

"Draco Malfoy is not just someone who pestered me Mum, he was a bully who put me down on every occasion that he could manage. He believed I was unworthy because I was not born in a wizarding family."

"Hermione!" I turned around to look at Mum standing beside the bed looking aghast.

"He is the son of a Death Eater Mum, people who supported Voldemort. His father was one of Voldemort's biggest supporters." I saw Mum staring at me as if I had just gone mad. I turned around to face my window again. The sun would set in a few hours and the houses along the street would light up. But the festive cheer escaped me and I wondered if I would ever feel the Christmas cheer again. When I had declined Mum's suggestion of marrying Ron, I had never thought that in a few months I would be in such a big mess.

"I told you how his mother lied to Voldemort and saved Harry just to save him. I never thought he wouldn't choose his own wife. I never thought that the Ministry would pair us." I felt Mum coming towards me. "We were almost doing fine. But then he... he accused me of cheating."

" Hermione." She turned me around and hugged me and I couldn't help remembering my childhood days when being engulfed in her arms would make me forget all problems for a few moments. I wish life was just as easy even today, so that I could forget it all for a few minutes and smile. I couldn't remember the last time I had truly felt happy and I wanted to feel that. But instead I felt tears sliding down my face, the very ones that I had been holding back for so long.

"He accused me of sleeping with Ron, Mum. He said I was playing him, that I had married him so that I could keep track of him. I just wanted to know about him. I was trying to sort things out and he.. he..." I didn't even know how to express my feelings any more. I couldn't express how I had felt that night. I had suppressed my emotions for so long that now when I wanted to get them out, my anger, frustration, humiliation, everything left me without words. I felt myself sliding down.

"He was my first, Mum. You know the worst part of it?" I asked staring at her blurry form. "There is no way out. I have to stay married to him and I have to have a child, or they start feeding you fertility potions, forcing you to become pregnant. The purebloods thinks they are so much better than the muggles but what they do is barbaric. They take away personal choices, they force their decisions...on you and claim they are...so much better than us." I felt dizzy or may be I was feeling sleepy. I hadn't slept well since the incident. I hadn't even felt so much for so long that I felt numb. I felt so numb.

When I woke up, the room was bathed in the light of the small night lamp. I tried to remember when I had fallen asleep but all I could remember was talking to Mum. A sigh escaped my lips. I had told her about Malfoy and I was pretty sure that she would have told Dad by now. They would be worried but there was nothing that could be done to change the present circumstances. I had read all the books that I could find on this. I had even asked Professor McGonagall for a few references and had read them too. This was an old law that was used in rare occasions and as such no one had bothered to change anything about it.

I got out of bed realising that I had a splitting headache. Everything just kept piling, the problems, the emotions and I couldn't find a way out of it.

I found my parents sitting in the kitchen. Dad came up to hug me as soon as he saw me coming in. It wasn't that surprising to find my father showing affection but it just touched me.

"Do you have to go back? Is there really no way?" I just shook my head.

"I wish I had never allowed you to go back. I should have asked to to stay back and attend college. I should have told you that it wasn't safe for you." I looked up at my father, the man who had always told me that I could do anything that I wanted. Today the same man was second guessing his decisions and I did not like it a single bit. All of us face problems in our lives, but to see the one person who has been your backbone thinking it was his fault... that is simply unacceptable. As I stared at the frown lines of my father's face, I realized one thing. My parents deserved more, more than what I gave them, more than what they got. After returning from Australia they had every right to stop me from going back to a world that they would never be a part of. After knowing what transpired in the last year, they could have easily refused to allow me to return to my education. But they stood by me, always knowing that their only daughter had a life so different from theirs, but never complaining about it.

But after all of this, they end up with a man for son in law who would never have the curtesy to even talk to them once. That was simply unacceptable.

I stood on my tiptoe to plant a small kiss on my father's cheek. "No, it probably wasn't safe for me. But you never taught me to run away. You taught me how to fight and win. This law will change Dad, you have my word." I looked up at my father with a small smile and a determination, the like of which I had when I had decided to join Harry last year for the hunt. I had survived a war and I would survive this situation too.

"What is this?"

"I didn't know you had turned blind all of a sudden."

"I haven't turned blind. I was wondering what this is."

"If you are still wondering, it's called a letter."

"I know that. What I'm wondering is why a letter addressed to Mrs. Hermione Malfoy lying here?"

"Because she isn't here."

"Then where is she Draco?"

Where is she? Wasn't that the question I had been trying to find the answer to? I couldn't stop remembering the way she had looked when she had thrown that jinx, nor could I forget the way she looked when she stepped into the floo. I knew I had over-reacted. I shouldn't have said those things about her. She wasn't like that, could never be. But I was frustrated. One more rejection from a Potions Master along with a letter from the Ministry asking me to explain my reasons of communications with such people had put me on edge. I had retaliated and she had been there at the wrong time.

"I don't know." I replied.

"You don't know? It's been.. how many weeks now? You realise that if the Ministry even have an inkling you will be in even more trouble." I didn't have to open my eyes to know what expression Blaise would have on his face. Sometimes I couldn't fathom why he bothered to still stand by my side. Even today, on Christmas night he had found time to come check on me. I wonder what was there to check. Everything was over. Everybody knew the Malfoy's were doomed. I knew I was doomed. No Harry Potter or Hermione Granger could ever manage to change that. Especially now.